Did You Ever Start a Kitchen Fire?

[Jake]

Touch wood (and anything else available) I have never personally had a fire in the kitchen. However, I have been present for two separate ones that I managed to get blamed for because "you should have known I'd screw up!"!!

First fire was at friends for dinner. Neither of them are cooks, neither particularly enjoy it. The wife had gone to some trouble and purchased prepared chicken kiev from a restaurant they frequented to pop in the oven at home. We were sitting in the other room having a cocktail and the the guys were in the basement moving something. I mentioned a burning smell. Friend tells me not to worry, she hasn't cleaned her oven lately. A couple minutes later I suggest that it's really strong, should check (the smoke alarm goes off about now). Walk into the kitchen and smoke is pouring out of the oven. She opens the door (against advice and before turning off said oven) just as her husband runs in the room. Entire oven is on fire.....she pulls the somewhat scorched chix out of the oven and the hubby THROWS AN ENTIRE BAG OF FLOUR ON THE FIRE!!! Yeah, I tried to stop him. Needless to say, we got the fire out without any further damage and they replaced the oven. Had a lovely dinner of salad, veg. and take away!

Second time, Easter dinner at close friends. 18 people expected. Close friend (also not a really proficient cook, but a great hostess) proceeds to shove, push and jam a very large turkey into a very small pan. I arrive early with veg, hors d'oeuvres etc. to smoke pouring out windows, sirens in the distance. Great hostess thought she didn't have enough of something. Hubby out with kids. Turkey in oven. Leaves home. Turkey grease leaves pan. 'Nuff said. Pretty f'n hysterical, let me tell you. Also fun watching 40 year old woman get lecture from parents about kitchen safety!!

[chefdg]

I think I have wanted to tell this story for a while so here it goes: While in my early 20's (I'm 30 now), my friend invented a mechanized, gravity, water bong and I was his guinea pig. One morning I woke to yet another test, and was totally wasted so I went to bed to try and sleep it off...... Went to work and definately felt "out of it" but I was having success keeping my grasp on things. We had a wedding dinner and were cooking on the outside, woodfired grill, when "it" happened. I totally f'd up; while pulling a grilled pizza out of the oven I knocked the herb oil (@ 1 qt worth) directly into our grill. Let me be clear, this grill got hot, very well built, and we kept a fire in it all day. I knew what was going to happen next, the chef tried his best to stop it from happening, but, in a matter of seconds we were covered. Yes, the dredded ansel system experience. I felt like dying. The chef was cool though, we just saved everything that didn't get "antiqued", went up stairs and finished the dinner. That felt good to get off my chest. I love annonimity (sp?)