Design Our Dream BC Restaurant

[Andrew Morrison]

I'm still thinking it should be West-like if it's to be representative of the city. European backbone with West Coast ingredients and a slight Asian inffluence. Not very original, I know, but it would still work.

But how would you make the existing ones better? Unlimited budget, maybe forget Jericho and move further down towards Spanish Banks. What would you do?

eg. Clearcut Wreck Beach slope for our exclusive "Caligula Vineyard"?

Every news story on us would lead with "Naked Lunch Anyone?"

[*Deborah*]

Last night as I was dropping off to sleep (good God, why am I thinking of eGullet as I drop off to sleep??) I was thinking of the Flirt-as-a-restaurant-name idea, and wondered how a restaurant would do (probably in Yaletown or actually maybe in the West End) if it were called Flirt, and served items for two only: rather than small plates, only share plates, fondues, milkshakes with two straws...there would have to be an exception for individual wineglasses, but I think you get the idea.

Only deuces, business would be great Friday and Saturday and Valentine's Day, but could it sustain the whole week long as a "date destination"?

[stovetop]

Food is sexual; so to flirt with like disaster, when food can raise the senses, to flirt.

steve

[Irishgirl]

The thing with reflecting where we live.....

...it all depends on how you look at it....

For instance...Go Fish was a brilliant idea...for the location...and reflects vancouver in the style of food. It is not high end...but from what I gather, is doing very well.

I think that concept is very important. Steakhouse has been done. West and Westcoast European, Westcoast-Asian, Westcoast french, and Tapas are all areas that have been covered well in this city.

We need to stand out. We also need to decide what demographic we are after...(read your post deborah)...and decide whether we are casual or high end or fast-food. Do we really want another expensive restaurant in Vancouver? Will an "expensive" restaurant fly at jericho?

Will the smell of wet dog outside the restaurant draw people in?

Ok......I'll think some more.....

[BCinBC]

Okay, switching to "serious" mode (let's see how long this lasts)...

My favourite restaurants do either of two things: excite me, or comfort me. Sometimes both. I just mentioned Les Halles in another post - this is the kind of place I'd love to be involved with, and that I think could work on the west coast. A simple but really beautifully done moules frites is, IMO, about as good as it gets.

Thinking about Herald St Cafe in Victoria the other day, they used to do a half-half mussels and clams, which was awesome. Can you get this anywhere in this city? Things like this belong on a west coast menu!

Define BC: prawns, dungeoness crab, oysters, mussels, clams, salmon (w/o cedar planks), cod (or is this currently overfished?). Goat's cheese. Beef ranches up north. Rampant mushrooms in our forests. Hemp... okay I've reverted to "silly".

BTW Deborah, I really like your ideas on Flirt. One add-on: garlic is either yes or no for the table, can't just have one garlic eater.

[annanstee]

And could we have an organic vegetable, herb and edible flower garden to provide some of the produce? I am thinking of the one at Hollyhock on Cortes.

[butter]

Did our dream restaurant die already?

[Zucchini Mama]

Ahoy ye, Gulleteers! May I come aboard?

I've been fantasizing about creating a utopian culinary emporium for some time. Maybe you can help me out...

It's Vietnamese-French Fusion. The name is Faux. There are three main parts: Faux Boulangèrie, Faux Bistro, and Trop Faux (or Haute Faux) Fine Dining.

The Location: That lovely scrappy patch of land across from Van Dusen Gardens, chock full of blackberry brambles. Someone's going to develop it eventually, so why not us?

The desserts have to be over the top: Intense layers of lemon, (lemon peel, lemon grass, candied citron), or studies in ginger, or chocolate, or lime, or coconut. Vietnamese coffee creme brulée, intense home made crème glacées, and fair trade chocolates flavored with teas and the flavors mentioned above. The blackberry truffles are our specialty. They're served with Cherrypoint Vineyards blackberry port.

The architecture is hard to describe-I'd need to sketch it out. The concept is a spiral. As you enter the spiral, there is the bakery (with lovely Vietnamese French subs, the desserts, soups and salads). The bakery is full of light with a few minimal art deco stained glass elements in deep jewel tones. The staff wear funky t-shirts silk-screened with faux-puns and rhymes. There is tons of seating out of doors with gardens winding artfully in and out of bramble-covered pergolas, (full time gardener required). There is a full time curator who organizes outdoor art exhibitions on the property.

The coffee-Faux Joe...I'll leave it up to you to hit me with a barrage of puns.

As you go up the spiral, you enter the bistro, which is decorated in 20's-50's Chinoiserie kitsch. The colors are deep red, grassy green, pink, and orange, reflected in the staff's funky clothes designed and silk-screened by Smoking Lily.

The food is affordable. The vibe is fun, gentle and casual. The music is original local, unobtrusive, ambient. Local organic products where possible. Lobster and morel Spring rolls-but what's in the dipping sauce?

Gorgeous Gewürtz's and Grüner Vetliners, B.C. wines, as well as a great selection of Alsatian and Austrian wines. (Oh, by the way, the wine cellar is in the basement, occupying the space beside the Faux Spa, which is run by the Silk Road Tea Spa in Victoria. The staff are given free treatments as needed.)

Back to the Bistro: Huge selection of vegetarian dishes, updated Alsatian tarts... more ideas, please! Oh, and those puckery peppery buttery lemony garlicky chicken wings I've only had at the Saigon (sadly now defunct) in Saskatoon-my holy grail of chicken wings. Does anyone know what I mean?

Trop Faux: Totally over the top haute cuisine-footstools for chihuahuas who have their own show on Bravo called Faux Paws. Shantung Silk banquettes and drapes in Blackberry and the jewel tones again. Staff costumes by Gaultier. Huge artisan lighting fixtures inspired by Sea Urchins (the outsides of the creatures, not the insides).

Morels, lobsters, fresh coconuts, gold leaf, crème fraiche, blackberries, truffles, moules frîtes,...elements of dada and surrealism...yada yada yada.

The next part of the spiral is another gallery for local artists with its own curator. The next part is a crêche (where we can drop off our kids while we dine) run by a league of British super-nannies who play instructional videos on table manners and fine dining. The übernannies also train the young' uns to translate foreign menus, so you can leave those heavy guide books at home.

At the back of the spiral, going down to the earth once again is Barbara Joe's Books to Cooks, which we've had to pluck from Yaletown, (sorry folks). At the very top of the spiral is a secret pinnacle room/observatory/world headquarters accessible only by a secret code pad hidden behind a faux crocodile purse. Here, an elite group of eGulleters et al discuss the pastpresentfuture of food and pore over the out-of print tomes and encyclopedic reference books that are too expensive for me to afford at Barbara Joe's.

The staff: I've always dreamed of winning the lottery so I could give the staff at Au Petit Café a palace to work in because they deserve it. They collaborate with some Haute French-trained chefs willing to lighten up.

Financing provided by the Valton family who have closed all their Canadian Val-Mart stores and donated the money to begin to atone for their vicked vicked vays.

Transportation: Oh yeah, ahem, that would involve moving the RAV line to Oak street. Also, valet parking for cyclists only. (To satisfy the eco-feminista in me.)

I think we should come up with the recipes, and whip something up in Photoshop-create a virtual version of the place in a Faux Cookbook.

Whaddya Think?

Zuke

[BCinBC]

Holy cow ZM hope you have already called the patent & copyright office with your ideas. Best into-the-fire-1st-post ever?

[canucklehead]

Why is my 'spidey sense' tingling?

[BCinBC]

Lee, are you suggesting that Zuchini Mama is anything less than a sincere off-the-street poster who was probably sucked into eGullet by Jamie Maw's article in VanMag? I hope we are not so elitist that we cannot accept her obviously well thought out ideas on the dream restaurant - ideas offered in an attempt to kick start the thread like Jamie Maw was asked to a while back. Unfortunately Jamie Maw seems to be busy these days, so we should be happy that someone like ZM has stepped into Jamie Maw's shoes.

[Zucchini Mama]

"Lee, are you suggesting that Zuchini Mama is anything less than a sincere off-the-street poster who was probably sucked into eGullet by Jamie Maw's article in VanMag?"

BCinBC

Dear BC,

Thanks for all of your kind comments. I haven't read the Jamie Maw article since the mag isn't distributed to us plebs on the east side. Which issue is it in? I found out about this forum from an article in the Straight a couple of week ago. I have been lurking and laughing and crying.

I promise to do my best to do my duty, to god, e-gullet, and my country...

Zuke

[Zucchini Mama]

Why is my 'spidey sense' tingling?

--------------------

Signed - Lee

Now, CIAO DOWN!!!!

'Cause that's the effect my She Hulk powers have on humans!

Zuke