UK Media Round Up

[grahamR]

As in “I can recommend the cream horn” ?

[jayrayner]

Nothing from The Observer this week (but if I'm wrong I'm sure Jay will send us a link.

How could I dissapoint you?Go here to read a short discussion of my musings on 2005.

[Suzi Edwards]

We don't want your musings young man. We want reviews!

[curlywurlyfi]

hello all, happy new year, sorry for the recent lacuna in your recipe round-up, but normal service resuming herewith. Or whatever passes for normal round my way, at least.

The spice of life - Caribbean recipes from Mark Hix

Game on! Wood pigeon tart from Hambleton Hall

American recipes from Gordon Ramsay - macaroni cheese with king prawns, anyone?

Thre-e-e from Jill Duple-e-e. Do you see what I did there? Do you? Do you?

Take three ingredients to make... tarte a la creme

Lucas Hollweg gives us toasted teacakes, perfect for grim January afternoons

Traditional Scottish breakfast? I think not! Smoothies and eggs Benedict from the Glasgow Herald

Tamasin Day-Lewis gives us recipes with... spelt

Good-tempered Sunday lunch from Matthew Fort - bacon + fennel frittata - mmmm

Nigel Slater clams up - chowder and linguine alle vongole

And finally, Sybil Kapoor in Waitrose Food Illustrated brings us seasonal dishes: vanilla-poached quince; cold pheasant with mustard-dressed chicory; Seville orange sorbet. Wot, no marmalade???

[Suzi Edwards]

First up, Victor Lewis Smith comments

Despite what you may think, this restaurant reviewing lark is not all cakes and ale. To do the job, you first have to be bone idle. Then you must learn to disguise the pitiable gaps in your gastronomic knowledge by the plentiful use of cheap wisecracks and gratuitous insults.

Clearly he's doing OK on the cheap wisecracks front, not so sure he's disgusing his lack of knowledge so well so far. Anyway, this week he "reviews" Argentinian Steak House The Gaucho Grill. Over at the Observer Jay Rayner bemoans the lack of passion at Birmingham's newly starred Simpsons in Edgbaston.

Very thought-provoking review of The Bluebird Dining Rooms by Terry Durack which I'll start a thread about shortly. Stablemate Tracey MacLeod is less positive about Fiore in W1.

Giles Coren has come over all ethical, but can The Bluebird Dining Room strike a blow for "the cynical breach of husbandry"? Next week Giles Coren will be at Flamin' Noras in Islington, beating his chest about the poor quality of the salmon.

Over at the Sunday Times AA Gill has little good to say about Cocoon W1

Jan Moir is away, but Belinda Richardson reports back on Jade in Salisbury. And very delicious it sounds too.

[dallardice]

Those deprived of the comments of Fay Maschler because they won't buy the Evening Daily Mail, and who tragically miss out on Ms O'Loughlin's comments because they don't sully themselves on public transport in London, may like to know that This is London's Insider's Guide is now no longer a pay site. Still requires registration, but no charge any more. And, rather nicely, they refunded £3 of my unused subscription.

[Suzi Edwards]

This week we have a new source for your delectation, those lovely people at The Evening Standard once you've registered.

We'll start with the bad this week...

Victor Lewis-Smith is in Harrogate this week, but finds little to constructive to say about Betty's Tea Room in Harrogate.

Marina O'Loughlin discovering that The Grand Salon at Homage in the Waldorf is

as short and conservative as Ann Widdecombe.

And she wins my award for "Simile of the Week"

Jay Rayer finds little that he can't get two minutes away at The Chinese Experience on Shaftesbury Avenue. But he can't be all wrong as he agrees with me about the thickness of the dumpling wrappers.

Giles Coren gets physical at Champney's Health Farm in Bedfordshire

But let's move onto the more positive...

Richard Johnson enjoys a flash of shin at The Black Boy's Inn, Hurley, Berkshire

Interesting review from AA Gill in the Sunday Times when he visits Iranian restaurant Mohsen in W14

Jan Moir explores one of eGullet's favourites, Le Champignon Sauvage in Cheltenham

Finally we have Fay Maschler onSoho Spice in, erm, Soho (Wardour Street)

[culinary bear]

on-topic post, I assure you. :)

Have you considered Gill Glover's Scotsman reviews as a source? She has a pretty high standing North of the border.

[Suzi Edwards]

Thanks for the tip, I'll include them from now on. If anyone else has any ideas for good sources, please PM me.

[circeplum]

thank you for my award.

x

[Suzi Edwards]

All round good stuff at Roka in Fitzrovia from Toby Young. Pretty mindless review though (IMHO) so may not make the cut for inclusion in the esteemed Media Round Up next week. Reviewer must try harder.

A- for the food at Cocoon but Terry Durack's so hot he thinks he might "hatch from a crysalis to a beautiful butterfly". Must be all that talk of brazillians.

B+ for the food at

Bluebird in Chelsea from Tracey Macleod, but other things rankle for her.

Giles Coren is disappointed at Ristorante Fiore on St James's So we'll give it a C. Interestingly, haven't seen a good review for this place yet.

D- and Jay Rayner says "must try harder" at The Box Tree Ilkley There's been a storm in a Reidel wine glass about this review which you can check out here.

I'm not sure about E for effort, but Marina O'Loughlin finds little worthy of the old Sugar Club address at The Grocer on Warwick

But if you read one review this week, read Jan Moir's slaying of Albannach in Trafalgar Square If this really were a school report I think the restauranteur might have been expelled. Fay Maschler isn't quite as mean, but she's pretty disappointed with Albannach too. What do you reckon, closed in 6 months?

[culinary bear]

Proof that daring innovative cuisine can be found in Ulster is decidedly not found in Janet Devlin's review of, wait for it, Frenchie's Restaurant in the Belfast Telegraph. Ironically, this seems not to bother her too much.

The Irish Independent's Alan Stanford finds commendable 'Hiberno/French' cooking at Quay Cottage in County Mayo, including the "teddy bear of desserts". I shan't spoil it for you, you'll have to allay your suspense yourself. After registration...

Gillian Glover indulges in hubble and bubble with apparently neither toil nor trouble at the imaginitively named The Restaurant, in Roseburn.

Jan Moir manages to talk about Santa Maria del Buen Ayre for nearly half her column in the Telegraph. Editorial censure is sure to follow. I can't say I've been too impressed with Argentine beef in the past, but she seems to think it surpasses the European article.

Jay Rayner finds quiveringly awful food at La Sapinière, Center Parcs Sherwood Forest.

Giles Coren is distinctly unimpressed with everything bar the lamps at Shanghai Blues, with cruel and inhumane post-mortem treatment of his lobster coming in for especially heavy flak.

The Independent's Thomas Sutcliffe thinks he should have kept on going on the road to Leeds and not stopped off at the Box Tree in Ilkley.

The normally uncuddly Terry Durack's sap is obviously rising, as he goes all doe-eyed over London's Glas. Sons of Glyndwr can rest easy, as this is not the second invasion of London by the Welsh, but an establishemnt of a more Scandinavian bent.

Toby Young doesn't recommend Selfridge's Lab Cafe as the best part of the store for picking up company, but finds the 'pick and mix' salad rather worth the effort.

Charles Campion's visit to Urbane, sorry, Aubaine results in a pretty lacklustre impression of an overpriced also-ran. If his description of the food is correct, why are they serving rib-eye when the menu describes it as "alloyaou (sic)", or sirloin? Does trading standards cover French? Anyone know?

Fay Maschler gives a mini-review of five of the Best of British to celebrate St George's Day. What was it that Mark Twain said about patriotism being the last refuge of the scoundrel? That aside, this particular top five contains about as many surprises as Restaurant Magazine's global effort earlier this month.

It's time to put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, as this is Victor Lewis-Smith's last column for the Guardian. Cue weeping and rending of garments throughout the country. Just in case anyone's interested, he reviewed Audrey's Fish And Chip Shop in Bridlington, East Yorkshire.

Go gently, it's my first time... :)

[camp_dick]

<snip>It's time to put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves, as this is Victor Lewis-Smith's last column for the Guardian. Cue weeping and rending of garments throughout the country.

←

So, farewell then Victor Lewis Smith.

With your lame puns

And novel hairdon't.

As a restaurant reviewer, you were a fine TV critic.

Aren 't I hilarious?

That was your catchphrase.

[culinary bear]

E J camp_dick, Aged 17 1/2 :)

[culinary bear]

First up this week we have Gillian Glover's rather weighed dismissal of Malcolm Duck's new outing, Duck's at Kilspindie, in Aberlady, East Lothian. Malcolm runs a half-decent French restaurant in Edinburgh - which translates to 'really good' in the arcane local rating system - and after the closure of 'Ducks de la Gare' at Waverley Station has decided to branch out into the suburbs. Incidentally, his father (born in the late '20s before Walt made his mark) is called, yes, Donald.

Jan Moir dons her sealskins and treks all the way to Orkney to review Hamnavoe. Despite bought-in desserts, she reckons the locals are on to a good thing. Now that la Moir has opened up the island to culinary exploration, expect a McDonalds Drive-Thru to open up at the Skara Brae car park in the near future.

If you'd like to concentrate on the food while reading Giles 'I've just won an award you know' Coren's review of Foliage at the Mandarin Oriental in London, simply skim past the initial six paragraphs of self-congratulatory wanking. Oh wait, most of you do that already.

Fresh from a stint as head chef at Lola's - not that the statement narrows the field down very much - Elisha Carter is now heading up the kitchen at Silk in London, offering Asian, Middle Eastern and Italian food. All on the same menu. Under headings. Oh god. "Yes, I'll have the pho to start, followed by the lasagna al forno and can I finish with the baklava, please? I'm joking, although not as much as I wished I was. Terry Durack, in a moment of magnanimity, agrees with me.

You'd think Scotland was some sort of culinary Mecca (and I can assure you that with a few notable exceptions it surely isn't) but Gareth McLean heads up to Mar Hall in Renfrewshire for dinner and finds that their aspirations exceed their capabality by some margin. Rather like the man who was keeping the seat warm ever since Matthew Fort vacated it.

Cay Tre is the sort of place whose tableside service, in stark contrast to the gorilla with the gueridon of old, delights Jay Rayner. Good ethnic food at a great price, while we up north have to deal with, well, Vernon's.

Marina O'Loughlin goes to the Broadway Bar and Grill, formerly Osia, and finds the place a shell of its fomer self.

Bodeans gets Helen Nicholson's seal of approval, mainly for its meaty attitude and, as a certain pretentious tosser would write, 'Brobdingnagian' portions.

Fay Maschler went to The Ledbury, and finds that the standard is almost there, but not quite. Head chef Brett Graham was Philip Howard's sous at The Square (the Ledbury s part of Nigel Platts-Martin's group) and, while he'll take time to find his feet, Maschler is hopeful that the food will eventually match the rather hefty bill.

Oh, and if anyone can point me in the direction of any Welsh reviews, I'll be very grateful, is it?

[culinary bear]

Gillian Glover vows never to return to The Marque Central, in Edinburgh. This raises an intersting point - if the fire alarm goes off between your starter and main, and you're prevented from even getting your main course, never mind eating it - are the restaurant entitled to charge you the full 2-course set menu price?

Still marooned in Orkney, poor woman, is Jan Moir. The Creel is an entirely missable experience, she maintains. Scampering back to London, she finds that Deep, on Imperial Wharf, is actually worse. Ten points deducted for using the phrase 'deep doo-doo' with sincerity. We're all accustomed to the word 'shit', Jan, even the most blue-rinsed of Telegraph readers.

Giles Coren has obviously taken Terry Durack's notes with him when he visits Silk. In essence, pretty much the same verdict as Durack arrived at last week.

Durack himself reviews Michiaki in London. Toro! Toro! Toro! (sorry)...

In the relentless merry-go-round of restaurant reviewing, I can only assume that there's a Central Department of Assignments, one which sends plain manilla envelopes, ones which self-destruct in five seconds, to various offices in Faringdon Road, Canary Wharf and the like every week. Sometimes there are mix-ups, as we shall see later.

Thomas Sutcliffe rips in to the food but not the reputation of Santa Maria de Buen Ayre, and takes his son, who apparently attends a 'strictly vegetarian school'. The number for Childline is 0800 11 11.

Are there only ten restaurants in the UK? Fay Maschler goes Deep, and considers much of the food ill-judged. Considering that owner Christian Sandefeldt is on the cover of this week's Caterer doing a Richard Corrigan with a zander, it might be safe to say that the pomp and publicity is covering an outfit whch thoroughly fails to deliver.

Charles Campion's Mantra for the week is to avoid overpriced curries...

Marina O'Loughlin encouters a mixed bag at London's Mestizo and a thoroughly horrible one at The Bingham in Richmond.

In a horrific oversight at the Central Department of Assignments, Messrs Rayner and Granleese both review (and fawn over, with justification) New Tayyabs in London's East End. If neither boy will admit to copying, I'm afraid it's lines for both.

Maschler again at Wizzy's in Fulham Road, happy to report that there's a lovely, darling, sweetie Korean restaurant to be found.

Toby Young finds cosmetically enhanced ladies-who-lunch at Lucio's in Fulham, but don't get excited; he certainly didn't.

Edited May 9, 2005 by culinary bear (log)

[kutsu]

Thanks for the update!

[culinary bear]

A bit of a fishy review from Marina O'Loughlin at Deep, reviewed by Jan Moir last week, and, erm, Fay Maschler. Last week. What I find unsettling is that she describes the food as “mostly good” and then proceeds to describe the dishes she has as, variously, “splendid, intriguing”, “perfectly roasted', “fine”, “appealing”, “I liked this a lot”, “used to excellent effect”, and “princely”. “Everything encountered at Deep was as it should be”. So why “mostly good”, Marina?

Giving added weight to my Ten Restaurants in the UK theory is Jay Rayner, this week visiting Glas, reviewed a whole three weeks ago by Terry Durack, and broadly agreeing with the big Aussie. Well, you would, wouldn't you? While we're at the Observer, it's OFM time this weekend...

This is getting remarkably silly now. Jan Moir goes to the Ledbury, reviewed a fortnight ago by Fay Maschler. If all this cyclical nonsense doesn't stop, I shall be forced to turn to the Aberdeen Press and Journal for original coverage. You've been warned. In fact, I might just do that to get away from Moir's use of the word “yumsome”. I mean, really... Actually, as she fawns over the restaurant like a schoolgirl, it might just fit the tone. Would anyone that has a 6'x4' colour poster of Brett Graham, the Ledbury's head chef, be kind enough to forward it to the Telegraph offices? Thanks in advance.

Gillian Glover has two fairly horrible meals at Oloroso and the Point Hotel, one of which I've eaten in and don't wish to eat in again, and the other I had no wish to eat in in the first place. Scotland does have some quality restaurants, you know, it's just that the locals tend to station large clouds of midges at the doors to discourage auslanders from dining there.

Sejal Sukhadwala tried Leon for the first time and had chicken nuggets. No, really. Healthy food can indeed by stylish and tasty, apparently.

Definitely Aberdeen Press and Journal time next week, as Tracy MacLeod goes to, dear god, the Ledbury, praising it in tones slightly less gushing than Jan Moir.

Four paragraphs about the restaurant and its food, the other eleven full of wibblings. Yes, it must be Giles Coren. The condensed message regarding the Garden Cafe – although, to be fair, I didn't really need to condense the relevant passages much – is that it's moderately shit, and that you shouldn't go.

Durack, praise be, doesn't review the Ledbury. He goes to Bray, and samples Heston Blumenthal's 'other place', the Hind's Head, where everything is rather as it should be.

The beguilingly named King Sitric is Charles Campion's choice (they have a choice?) of venue this week, but the food falls way below the promise of “modern Irish” cuisine. Your man Corrigan isn't exactly going to be quaking in his boots.

Fay Maschler went to Lanes Restaurant at London's Four Seasons Hotel, and was appalled – frankly, I'd be as well – by the pricing, for rather dubious food. Nearly fourteen quid for a salad of mozzarella and tomatoes?

Maschler again, this time at Chico Latino, finding it a very poor cousin of Asia de Cuba.

In her mini-review, Marina O'Loughlin manages to avoid reviewing Deep twice in one week and is instead disappointed by the rice at Kurumaya, though she does say thanks for all the fish.

And, just because it's not the Ledbury, here's what we have to put up with from the Paisley Daily Express. I'm going to make it a personal goal to garner at least one very obscure review a week. I wonder if Pig Farmer Monthly has a food column?

[Andy Lynes]

here's what we have to put up with from the Paisley Daily Express.   

←

Glad to see that whoever wrote this has the latest edition of the Bumper Book of Restaurant Review Cliches to hand.

(BTW - Although Robin's Nest was transmitted in the early 80's, it began in 1977, so would more properly be referred to as a late 70's sitcom. Just a small point, but as it took 2 seconds to google that fact, it might have been worth the reviewer checking it for themselves.)

[culinary bear]

Glad to see that whoever wrote this has the latest edition of the Bumper Book of Restaurant Review Cliches to hand.

Oh, there were worse ones to choose from. More next week.

[circeplum]

A bit of a fishy review from Marina O'Loughlin at Deep, reviewed by Jan Moir last week, and, erm, Fay Maschler. Last week.  What I find unsettling is that she describes the food as “mostly good” and then proceeds to describe the dishes she has as, variously, “splendid, intriguing”, “perfectly roasted', “fine”, “appealing”, “I liked this a lot”, “used to excellent effect”, and “princely”.  “Everything encountered at Deep was as it should be”.  So why “mostly good”, Marina?

←

(the following to be read in a definitely-not-snarky tone of voice)

because my measly 600 word count didn't allow me to outline the (few) bits that mostly weren't good and i wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt (unlike, it would seem, the rest of the world).

and, dearest culinary bear, you should forget your worry about the recurrence of certain names in reviews. it's going to happen over and over again. we're usually (or always in my case) sent to cover NEW restaurants of note. and, yep, there are usually only about 10 or so of those at any one time.

x

[culinary bear]

I understand that editing and word counts mean you can't be as comprehensive as you might like to; it just struck me as odd that your summarising statement seemed not to tally fully with the majority of your review (which I did enjoy ). What were the bits you didn't like? I'm afraid I can't pay you your normal rate. The most I can offer is marmalade.

Oh, I know there are bound to be many instances where people review the same place within a small timeframe. When you're working a few weeks ahead of press it's bound to exacerbate that.

The alternative, of course, is to have reviews of visits to obscure fish and chip shops and Little Chefs in a fright wig; I think I know which I'd prefer.

[circeplum]

The alternative, of course, is to have reviews of visits to obscure fish and chip shops and Little Chefs in a fright wig;  I think I know which I'd prefer.

←

how did you know about the fright wig?

[culinary bear]

...because everyone wants to look like Victor Lewis-Smith, didn't you know?

[adt]

I wonder if Pig Farmer Monthly has a food column?

I hope you'll not miss Virgin Trains' in-locomotion magazine.

Not a review, but it does contain an in-depth, penetrating interview with Angela Hartnett. As you would expect from the publication's pedigree, the interviewer takes no prisoners, and has her talking with unprecedented candor about the hell of working with gordon - who is apparently not that bad you know.

She also opines that london needs fewer michelin-starred chefs and more places like st john bread and wine. And talks a bit about her mum.