camp_dick

Amused to note, listed two topics below this thread at the mo: Marmite, can't stop eating the stuff...

Never mind Gordo Walnuts and Dat Fuck, what your friend needs to know is that London boasts the finest Indian restaurants in the world and, living near Marble Arch, she's going to become familiar with the bottom of Edgware Road, which is basically Arabian. kitwilliams mentioned Ranoush, which is all well and good (I prefer Beirut, myself) but it's just a minor link in the mighty Maroush chain, which serves very decent Lebanese food from various outlets (and they even have a deli, almost next door to Ranoush). I can't really recommend any Indian places around there, but I'm sure they exist. Personally, I think Baker & Spice is the most pretentious and overpriced concept in the known world and cordially detest the place. In fact, stay well away from self-consciously foodie enclaves such as Marylebone High St or Clifton Road altogether. For fish and chips, you don't need to go to Wandsworth when you're living near the Seashell@ Lisson Grove. Drinks wise, students have subsidised bars which are bound to be a lot cheaper than elsewhere in Central London. Busaba - a Thai style version of wagamama - has a branch on Store St, not far from the ULU on Mallet St.

Today I noticed Walnut's ugly mug blown up big in the window of Threshers and the question occurred to me, can that greedy twat stoop any lower?

Geezer (is it Mr Fenwick?) looks a decade younger in one of those pics (the one in the car park with his suppliers).

Caught the repeat last night. Gordo Walnuts 'fuck' quotient does appear to have gone through the fucking roof. Landlord reminded me of wassisname, the blind geezer who used to be Home Secretary, the one who dallied with - or as Walnuts might say, 'fucked' - that Kim Quim. I notice that no one else has had the decency to hyperlink the Campaign For Real Gravy, but check it out: apparently, Delia Smith is Walnuts' arch-nemesis! There's a TV show I'd watch: 'Gers vs. Canaries, a goalless draw? "Fuck football, Delia, let's wrestle. Naked. In gravy." Ohh, gotta log off...

I'm sure the technology has moved on, but didn't the Roux bros have a place in Finsbury Circus back in the 1980s that served sous vide dishes prepared in a satellite kitchen? (Yes I DO mean it was floating in outer space). Rouxl Britannia, was it??

You're so right! what Heston obviously needs is a diminutive sidekick, Hervé Vichyssoise perhaps? Oh, and a decent hat like Ricardo Monteban.

That's not exactly how Heston tells it himself you sarky clart.

One of those oxymoronic wankers?I'm intrigued by Heston's face furniture: those slightly aerodynamic goggles that simultaneously suggest extreme sports and potentially explosive lab work.

Didn't you do it in order to fill a column in the Sunday paper? If your motive was purely altruistic, for the sake of humanity, I beseech you to share your knowledge!

D'you mean the Bavarian Beerhouse on City Road?

The Beer Acadmey is an educational trust fronted by the ebullient PR guy, Rupert Ponsonby, who can no doubt direct you (there's a phone no.) Otherwise, Brew Wharf looks promising.

WTF?MON, good luck over there. I wouldn't want to be in your boots for all the opium in the world. As others have said, Bray is an oasis of haute cuisine within easy taxi distance of Heathrow, but you'll need to book at either the Waterside or the Fat Duck. Alternatively, you can easily get into central London from Thiefrow and might want to try Le Gavroche or any of the G.Ramsay establishments.

As Sir Matthew of Fortesque says: 'A pub can hardly call itself a pub any more without its menu of chilli-grilled squid, grilled tuna, damned grilled goat's cheese, Old Spot sausages, steak and chips, tiramisu and sticky toffee pudding. There are sub-British, cod-Continental, trashy-Thai. Out has gone real food cooked by real chefs with real skills. In have come cloned dishes from identikit menus produced to a formula by scarcely trained - what? Cooks? Chefs? Hardly. I'm not sure there is a classification for the people currently working in many gastropub kitchens any more. Cooking has been reduced to the lowest common denominator. Technology, centralised production, commercial homogenisation have taken over from style, class, taste and personality'

There ain't no Kenyan food in Southall. The Anand family, who run The Brilliant came to Southall from Kenya in 1957, but are of Punjabi origin.

You're befuddled. Masters Supafish does have tables. I guess the pub you refer to is the Stage Door? Can't think of any other locally where you might scoff your chips. MarkinHouston, you can still make it! This place is onWaterloo Road, behind the Vic. Alternatively, under the bridge by the roundabout is the wonderfully named Fishcotheque. I was also going to recommend the Fryer's Delight as a venerable central London chippy, but when looking for a link found the Time Out top ten. Enjoy!

Jung Chang is Robert Elm's Listed Londoner today. She likes Bar Shu, but says her favourite Szechuan restaurant in London is a place I'd never heard of called Angeles in Kilburn. There's a review in Time Out that says its been going since 2003. Add on: what was the name of the restaurant on the site of Bar Shu that used to do the flambee, with the flaming torches either side of the door?

I recommend you get the bus from Piccadilly Circus - the 12 or 453 are bendy buses on which payment of fares is apparently discretionary - to the Elephant (some twelve minutes) to the mighty Dragon Castle (see thread). Otherwise, Superstar in Lisle Street innit.

Just re-read Coran's review, which says (apropos the menu): 'I couldn’t bear to reveal why I wanted it, I never can, it sounds so smug and self-important, so I’ll just have to try and remember as best as I can (and don’t say, “you should have made notes”, nobody makes notes any more, not even war reporters. It gets you recognised as a stooge, and it’s soooo girlie swot).' This is the same bloke off the telly who appears with Gordo Walnuts, is it not? This read around, I did notice the coda: 'I discovered they are about to incorporate the two opposed menus into a single list, which explains why they didn’t have certain dishes, explains why they didn’t want to part with a (soon-to-be-superannuated) menu, negates my criticism of their two-menu system and makes the old review irrelevant in almost every way.' Quite so.

It's pretty shameful when The Times critic ostensibly needs his subject to supply him with notes before he can write his review, but Coren does actually do a decent job of describing the menu. What is this business about having to ask the the 'other' menu, though? Maybe they've jettisoned the rubbish menu, or perhaps it was just a cunning ruse to appeal to restaurant critics' snobbery by letting them think they're getting some special privilege? I had dinner there last night, the place was packed and everybody seemed to be singing from the same song sheet. Especially when the room was suddenly flooded with the sound of an easy listenin' choir singing Happy Birthday To You! (I am SO going to have my birthday party there: they've got a long table on a screened platform at the back which could easily seat two dozen). The service at Dragon Castle is excellent! I say so, upfront, because it is unprecedented in my experience to be so swiftly recognised and, not only are the staff friendly, their menu knowledge seems pretty good... What's the name of that draught beer they serve in there, BTW? Sunkiss, is it? It's rock solid Cantonese cooking, with a menu that includes abalone (no ta!) and sharks fin at £100+, plus a lot of choice around lobster and crab and, as Coren puts it: 'There were eight or nine kinds of oriental veg (water spinach, Chinese broccoli, gai lan, bok choi, choy sum, king kong, big ming, bling bling… can you tell which of those I was forced to make up?) offered ten or twelve ways, creating a glorious panoply of green options.' We opted for bok choi steamed with garlic and it was wonderful, the best I've *ever* had. I love that they'll do you a range of fish cooked in a range of styles/sauces: my mate ate a pan fried snapper fillet in teriyaki sauce, which he enjoyed, but I found a bit too chewy. Uncle had one of those braised hotpots, which looked like chunky beef stew, and he said was delightful and it must have been nice enough, because he took half of it home in a takeaway container. Standout for me was a sizzling platter of oysters - loads of the luscious molluscs - with ginger and garlic. Reminded me of Jeremy Round, who wrote about food in The Independent in the 80s, before he expired on the floor of a hotel bathroom in Macao after a massive blowout (ordered, no doubt, from the 'other' menu). Jeremy was fond of slipping analogies to fellatio into his copy, I can imagine what he would have had to say about these scrotal little lovelies. I didn't see the bill (thanks, Uncle) so can't tell you if it was unitemised. The dim sum bills I've paid *are* thoroughly itemised, but they won't let you have a copy! Maybe the system was down on the day of Mr Coren's visit, although I note that Ratner also had a problem: 'Still, I can embarrass them into sorting those problems out,' he says. Good luck with that! The dull repetition, in these reviews, of variations on the theme of 'the Elph. is ever so grim' will no doubt change when the area becomes a building site. They're now moving the tenants out of the Heygate, the great big housing estate across the road, where they filmed the anti Heroin ads in the 80s ("I can handle it," remember?) and I think the dear old shopping centre is scheduled for demolition early next year. Of course I don't know the details of their lease, but I'd bet that the operators of Dragon Castle have negotiated an extremely favourable deal, considering what's about to start happening in its immediate vicinity. Access to the restaurant will be improved when they remove the roundabout at the top of Walworth Road, soon. Then they're going to put THIS there! (Right on top of Pizzeria Castello!)

Nice menu but 23 euros for a main course is a bit steep, innit? I mean, I'd hesitate to pay nearly £16 in London, even for 'chard leaf timbale of puy lentils, roast aubergine & Bluebell Falls fresh goats cheese with roast tomato, watercress cream, cannellini beans and braised fennel'. Plus, how come some mains are one euro cheaper? Is it something to do with cheese?

I read the reviews and share ratner's sense of wonder that such a place should be gifted to us here @ Heffalump where, within a couple hundred yards' radius of Dragon Castle, are are least half a dozen mediocre Chinese noodle bars and/or takeaways. I don't really do meat any more, which is what kept me out of Dragon Castle until the buzz compelled my mates to book a table and they needed me to order. + I am stunned by the quality ! Non of the write ups I've read focus on the dim sum, but it's fabulous. What differentiates it from Yau@Cha is naff presentation, with the extraneous garnish of limp lollo rosso - in this heat! - and the half slice of lemon with half glace cherry, like a bloodshot yellow eye. The other marked difference is that many dishes are £1.90 and the most expensive, like that sublime scallop cheung fun, are £3. Dragged a thin friend round there for lunch to check out the vaguely veggie specials. Stuffed crispy yam + aubergine with garlic and chilli were like little cakies in paper cups. Thinking back about the construction of those little darlings, I guess they were maybe chunks of aubergine wrapped in slivers of yam and deep fried. Or else it was a chunky mush in a very slight won-ton wrapper. Sorry, I wasn't paying proper attention to the technicalities as I focused more on the taste and wonderful texture of those babies. Which could maybe have benefited for an acquaintance with dipping in a plum sauce? Crispy spinach parcels are circular ravioli containing spinach wrapped around the inevitable chunk o' prawn, sprinkled with sesame seeds and deep-fried; served with chunky orange mayonnaise. Far freaking out! Flying saucers of oriental deliciousness to be dunked into weird mayo mix! Spring onion and chilli taro is spaghetti-like strands of the corm tied in a bow and steamed. I've never eaten anything quite like it. I guess there's some tool that carves root veg. into spag. strips? Whatever, and however, this is weird, tangy and wonderful! These three dishes cost £2.20 each! We also revisited the (too meaty) taro croquettes and the turnip cake (why not make 'em with mushrooms?) and my stand out favourites, the grilled chive dumplings (crystal wrapper enclosing minced prawn 'n' chive) and that wonderful scallop cheung fun. I could eat those every day and I easily can! The bill was £18.80, inc. tea + service. BTW, the service @ has been notably good, although they weren't exactly rushed on a Tuesday lunchtime. I left the full score! PM me if you need a companion NB: The title of this thread got moderated because apparently the term 'chinky' is not on and no doubt 'snakehead' is right off. Whatever's right and proper, I'll see you @ Dragon Castle for lunch tomorrow, or the day after, when I'll be noodling in that seafood udon direction. Or maybe the soft/hard crab noodle way. Happy days!

Mate of mine just rented in South Central East, that new turquoise cruiser of a building, designed by Piers Gough, that's moored behind the petrol station at the top of Walworth Road, right next door to Dragon Castle. He's a bit cagey about the rent, but apparently there's a glut of rental property around our manor. Other attractions of the Elephant include a hardcore salsa club (by hardcore, I mean strictly rum 'n' coke) and good bus connections to more salubrious parts of town. Such as Camberwell...

Oh, OK, old news then. I guess I've kind of lost interest since I dropped out of the business and more-or-less stopped eating meat. The only reason I was aware of Ian Fenn's review was 'cos they posted it up outside! Those making derogatory remarks about the Elph can fuck right off, though. Its undeniable grimness has so far managed to obscure the fact that it is the geographical heart of London and for more than twenty years it has provided me with a relatively cheap place to live in Central London. Until now, that is, with the development continuing to drive property values through the roof, meaning that my humble abode is apparently worth ten times what I paid for it.

I can't explain why it's taken me so long to get around to it, since it's just around the corner, nor how come it's so far eluded the attention of the critics - with the honourable exception of Mr Fenn, who reviewed it in glowing terms within a few weeks of it's opening back in May, but after a terrific lunch, I thought I'd let you e-Gulleteers into a secret: there's an excellent Cantonese restaurant at the Elephant & Castle! The place itself is a big airy room, a 200 seater, prosaically decorated in standard kitsch, occupying the ground floor of a recently completed student dormitory building (South Bank University is one of the biggest property developers around the Elephant) and is indicative of the changing ethnic balance of the neighbourhood. (A listed Goldfinger office block on the city side of the roundabout was converted into flats in the late 90s - Metro Central Heights - many of which sold to Hong Kong Chinese. The other large group of incomers is Columbian and their restaurant - Bodeguita - is @ the shopping centre. I hope we don't have to wait a generation for the Elephant's first Sino-Latino restaurant!) Most of Dragon Castle's Sunday lunchtime clientele are Chinese, many sporting serious bling (and, apparently, they don't do fake). I specify the Dragon Castle is Cantonese since it isn't competing with, say, Hakkasan, although its dim sum is as good, if not better that Yau@cha, and it's half the price with most dishes costing £1.90! What does seem innovative about this place is its dedication to quality in reproducing authentic Cantonese dishes, with little experimentation. That said, I'll have to restrict my remarks to the dim sum menu, since I've yet to eat beyond it, apart from noodles and the excellent chilli scallops. There's a separate dim sum menu listing forty something varieties and a DIY ordering form, which simplifies things. If a dim sum specialist lives or dies by the quality of his har gow, Dragon Castle is gonna live forever. Their wrappers are neatly pleated and their prawns are whole, not minced. Fabulous, in fact, as were a plate of mixed prawn dumplings and spring rolls. Of course, dim sum is not really geared to those with vegetarian tendencies. As a rule, I don't do char siu, but am told the bao here are PDG. In fact, non of us had anything but praise for all the familiar dim sum staples that we tried, kicking of with wicked woo kok: taro croquettes. Sticky rice wrapped in lotus leaves was a bit too meaty for yours truly, but undeniably unctuous; Vietnamese spring rolls had great bite; cheung fun was oh-so-silky. For me, the standout dishes were cheung fun with scallops (served on a heart-shaped plate;-) and beautiful chive dumplings. Oh, and the turnip cake... Dim sum specials include trotters and tripe for the truly dedicated and there's at least three varieties of congee. There's also a list of lunchtime noodle dishes which, now that I've finally made it through the front door of this place, is liable to distract me from the so-so noodle bar on the roundabout for some lunchtimes to come... Dragon Castle, 114 Walworth Road, 114 Walworth Road, London. SE17 1JL