A long time ago......

[tryska]

i just got flashbacks of Fantasia.

if you add a dancing broom we're all set.

[SobaAddict70]

Maybe a magic singing tandoor that travels back in time for some reason...

Okay, sorry.

Tandoori Bandits.

(*ducks from incoming*)

Soba

[tryska]

Hmnm....if we had a magical tandoori, then yes, we could have tandoori bandits, aka the meat-eating goons, come to steal the treasure for evil fat landlord.

but the problem is that a goan christian girl wouldn't have a tandoor. and they are in mumbai. so he would have to be traveling from a northern village to get there.

[Monica Bhide]

I like Tandoori Bandits --

[balmagowry]

oh yes, and the comic relief: a friend of the muslim chef who owns a small punjabi restaurant will constantly say, when surprised, "oh teri ma ki daal!"

Er, Mongo - sorry, but you're going to have to keep translating as you go. Please? So far the translations have been priceless.

I would like to see an indian version of Clerks, but instead of a convenience store it would be a Chaat shop/dosa joint with Jai and Silent Prasad.

Shades of a project written by a couple of my college friends: "Eight Items or Less; a Supermarket Opera."

[mongo_jones]

oh yes, and the comic relief: a friend of the muslim chef who owns a small punjabi restaurant will constantly say, when surprised, "oh teri ma ki daal!"

Er, Mongo - sorry, but you're going to have to keep translating as you go. Please? So far the translations have been priceless.

i was hoping i wouldn't have to translate this one. it is a play on two different things: a) maa ki daal--a type of punjabi dal (episure made reference to this in a different thread) and 2) the indelicate saying : "teri ma ki ___"--where "teri" means "your" , "ma" is mother, "ki" makes it "your mother's..." and ___ refers to a certain part of the female anatomy; i don't know why i've suddenly turned so delicate. the latter saying is the north indian analogue of "fuck you" but has a greater import because it drags mothers into it. which is not to say that people necessarily freak out when they hear it.

thus "teri ma ki daal" would mean "your mother's daal" but would suggest something else. like most things funny it loses all humor in translation and explanation.

and as for "tandoori bandits"--been done--there was a movie out this winter called "funtoosh dudes in the 10th century" (or was it the 14th?).

[mongo_jones]

he's meeting his goan christian soon to be girlfriend when he gets to possibly mumbai her name is either Florence or Sundranamba. there will be a lovesong (i nominate mongo for lyric wrtiting by the wya - he seems to have a knack for it), there will be singing in the rain.

oh you people! don't traditions mean anything to you? christian women in bombay films are always "rosie", "daisy" or "julie"; she could also be "sandra from bandra", a bombay anglo-indian vamp, who has to always die virtuously in the end.

[Monica Bhide]

personally I prefer Mona Darling

[balmagowry]

thus "teri ma ki daal" would mean "your mother's daal" but would suggest something else. like most things funny it loses all humor in translation and explanation.

Not entirely!!

I know it's tough, but please bear with us ignorant folk. If we fail to extrapolate the idea from your translation, that's our loss - but it's a much greater loss if we don't have the translation to extrapolate from! I've done my share of translating, so I sympathize - I'll never forget trying to translate a really dumb joke into French for the benefit of a Swiss woman who was the only person at table not roaring with laughter - an effort that failed utterly because the premise was based on idiom and accent in a way that simply has no French counterpart... oh dear. Nevertheless, it was possible to get the idea across so that if she didn't exactly join in the hysteria at least she didn't feel completely left out.

Besides, it's good practice for you. When this nouveau bollywood flick plays in the US, someone's going to have to subtitle it!

(Love the new avatar, BTW.)

[Monica Bhide]

We need a recap and get into this persons food habits-- soon -- I am dying to know what he eats

[mongo_jones]

(Love the new avatar, BTW.)

you should have seen what a sweet and benevolent ape that was before i photoshopped its eyes. now it looks more like the nasty cannibal chimps can often be. not that says anything about me of course--i'm sweet and benevolent.

[balmagowry]

(Love the new avatar, BTW.)

you should have seen what a sweet and benevolent ape that was before i photoshopped its eyes. now it looks more like the nasty cannibal chimps can often be. not that says anything about me of course--i'm sweet and benevolent.

'Course you are.

Um... yeah... gee... such a shame I had to cancel out of that Denver gathering.... :shudder:

[Episure]

I went to sleep last night after posting on this site and now there is a thread that has gone into three pages! By any chance are you all holed up together smoking some Indian herb?

What a relief after Mongo_jones' literary posts which leave me wordless.

Here's my bit.

Some remix songs for the forthcoming movie using eguleeters names:

Bague mein kali khili.....

Chowpati jaayenge Bhelpuri khayenge...

Rasik Balma Gauri...

Monica...Oh my darling....

I am sure there are more but it's morning here and you all are more elevated than me. Or Sleeping.

[scott123]

May I suggest a fight scene with one of the bandits getting wacked with a karhai and the other going head first into the tandoor?

For some reason I'm also picturing someone's mouth getting stuff with naan and then getting blinded with crushed chilis.

[tryska]

right so i thought of the tandoori conundrum last night.

what we could have is a riverbank near Sundranamba-Florence-Daisy-Julie's ancestral home on which grows the oldest largest palm tree bearing the tastiest coconuts and sweetest most alcoholic toddy. Why is this? Well because the mud in the riverbank is blessedly magical and is a boon to anything that incorporates it. (i'm fine with losing florence - it's my mom's never-to-be-spoken birthname)

Also it's a shame that Ram isn't tamil. Then he could have some exhaustively long name that he insists on introduicng himself by everytime he meets someone. It could be a running gag culminating in a sign over his new restaurant with him as proprietor.

oh and we could have a great slapstick scene where the meat-eating goons try to steal the tandoor once it's been installed. Involving scooters for towing purposes of course.

Edited April 9, 2004 by tryska (log)

[Jason Perlow]

Maybe a magic singing tandoor that travels back in time for some reason...

Or is like 1000x bigger on the inside than on the outside? With a mysterious Tandoori chef called "The Chef" ? That comes from planet Mulligatawny of the Tikka Lords?

[tryska]

I hope The Chef doesn't have a recipe for chocolate salty balls.

[Vikram]

Damn the time difference (and also my infrequently observed deadlines). I'm catching up with this thread way to late to add to the story (assuming anything can be added to Mongo's outline which is more complete than most Bollywood films by the time they start shooting). I can only make a couple of points:

a) the only possible city they are going to is Bombay. This is not my Bombaycentrism here, but a simple statement of fact - there are no other cities in Bollywood (duh, why do you think is called that). Bombay is the one and only, the ur-city, much like all those Hindi pulp fiction novels are all set in 'Ramnagar'.

b) this is not to say the only urban location for this film can be Bombay. You are all forgetting that other great Indian city called Manhattan. (And judging by the Bollywood films released in the last few years, Bangkok as well). Large chunks of every big budget Bollywood film these days is shot abroad (was there any part of Kal Ho Na Ho set in India?) - now just think how that expands the culinary possibilities. Just Bangkok alone could get the fusion going.

BTW, that just reminds me, one of the hunkiest (and nicest) Bollywood heroes Akshay Kumar was once a cook in Bangkok. I think he was there to learn martial arts and took a job as a cook to support himself. Here's Akshay:

http://downloads.movies.indiatimes.com/hom...ar/gallery.html

And that reminds me of two other Bollywood studs with cooking links. Suniel Shetty, a rather overtly muscle bound action hero, comes from a family in the restaurant business (as any Bombayite/ Mumbaikar could tell from his name) and still runs a couple. And Aryan Vaid, a model trying to become an actor, went to catering college and worked as a chef at the Leela Kempinski hotel for a while, before leaving to start a catering service and only then getting into the modelling business after winning a men's beauty contest. Since Aryan is known for having one of the best bodies in Bollywood, he's an advertisement for cooks and caterers everywhere!

http://movies.indiatimes.com/articleshow.cms?artid=9468565

Vikram

[tryska]

i didn't know we made boys like aryan. hmm.

suniel would make an excellent big brother for our goan christian heroine with 4 names.

[Monica Bhide]

my dsl connection keeps crashing. i will try to add more here soon.

[mongo_jones]

May I suggest a fight scene with one of the bandits getting wacked with a karhai and the other going head first into the tandoor?

For some reason I'm also picturing someone's mouth getting stuff with naan and then getting blinded with crushed chilis.

hey, this isn't a jackie chan movie!

[jschyun]

I hope The Chef doesn't have a recipe for chocolate salty balls.

hehe

[tryska]

[oothappam]

Mongo Jones' PLOT was PERFECT.

Christian women's names in films..in respect to someone else's post---Don't forget that Florence was the name of the Christian girl in Badhai ho Badhai so it's not out of order!

ANd...one last thing........how can you people forget that AMRISH PURI is THE DAD of all dads. HE has got to be one of the dads....... Any scene where you want everyone to get nervous, and be subjected to some scary evil looks..has to have him in it with one of his vicious stares......and anupam kher the other gentler one. OK?

[SobaAddict70]

and as for "tandoori bandits"--been done--there was a movie out this winter called "funtoosh dudes in the 10th century" (or was it the 14th?).

Oh, mongo, you mean to tell me you've never heard of that early 1980's cult sci-fi classic "Time Bandits"? My suggestion was a play on the title of the movie itself.

heheheh, a product of my childhood....

Time Bandits

Don't say I didn't warn you. heheheh

Soba