Chuck E Cheese

[Keith Talent]

A couple of nights ago I had my kids at Chuck E Cheese (word of advice - eat first) and while I was sitting there wishing they had a hard liqiour licence to combat the growing headache caused by flashing lights/incesant noise/roomful of screaming kids I pondered what the hell kind of restaurant chooses a giant freaking rat as it's mascot. It's not even a clean looking rat, but rather slightly scruffy by design. They even let the massive vermin stroll around the restaurant. Now, I'm not a chef, or even involed in the trade, but even I know the optics of a giant rat strolling around the inside of a restaurant are bad.

My question is; Chuck E Cheese, the most audacious resteraunteurs ever, or just idiots?

[Busboy]

He's a mouse. A mouse that eats cheese. An evil mouse, who has created a special kind of hell and franchised it to strip mall owners across America. A mouse who must die.

Edited January 21, 2004 by Busboy (log)

[Keith Talent]

A mouse? A six foot tall mouse? No way, that's a rat. I studied biology in high school, and I can say for ceratin that mice do not get to be six feet tall. It's a rat.

[Al_Dente]

Don't know the logic behind the rat, but here are some interesting websites:

Rat Wisdom

More Mouse-like

A Little Rat History

[VeryApe77]

In defense of this place The Rock-afire Explosion are one of the best animatronic animal bands of all time.

[Busboy]

A mouse? A six foot tall mouse? No way, that's a rat. I studied biology in high school, and I can say for ceratin that mice do not get to be six feet tall. It's a rat.

What, rats do get to be six feet tall? It's a mouse. A huge, mutant mouse who, like the mice in all the old nursery rhymes, loves cheese.

[Chad]

Al, those links are great. I really like the Rat Wisdom one

But it wouldn't go well with Chuck E's image for him to be scooping mean kids up and giving them the beatings they deserve, and so when in the rat suit you really just have to take it. But there is one thing you can do. Offer your hand to one of these kids to shake, I guarentee you they'll take it, and then bring the brat to his knees in a furry knuckle-grinding grip he won't soon forget.

And yes, Chuck E. Cheese is probably the greatest form of birth control known to man. Thinking about having kids? Spend an hour in a Chuck E. Cheese and see if you're ready.

As for the rat? I've never given it much thought. But it does seem to be an odd mascot. Ok, yeah, he eats cheese. He also spreads disease. I don't think "A Little Bit o' Plague in Every Bite!" is a viable marketing slogan. It would make a cool jingle, though . Inspired by all of this, I'm off to start my own chain of parental hells -- with my mascot Herman the Vermin.

Chad

[Keith Talent]

"Inspired by all of this, I'm off to start my own chain of parental hells -- with my mascot Herman the Vermin."

I'm starting a chain of hot dog shacks with "Pete the Prion" as the spokesperson

[Chad]

In defense of this place The Rock-afire Explosion are one of the best animatronic animal bands of all time.

From 20 Years of Rats and Pizza

Guitarist Jasper T. Jowels may not draw the crowds he once did, but the sex with animatronic groupies backstage makes it all worthwhile

Chad

edit to remove some wandering punctuation

[FistFullaRoux]

All chains need a response restaturant. Sort of an anti-them.

My wife wants to open a bar and grill next to Hooter's. Call it Pecker's and have a woodpecker as it's mascot. You fill in the blanks.

I'd personally open a pizza place next to a Chuck E Cheese, called Big Freakin Cat, and have hourly demonstrations on how a 10 foot cat can destroy 6 foot mice with a blunt object. The video games will all have the sound turned off, and there will be microgreens on the salad bar. Everything on the kid's menu will be made of turkey, and contain no caffiene. It's sure to be a hit with the parents...

[Keith Talent]

My wife wants to open a bar and grill next to Hooter's. Call it Pecker's and have a woodpecker as it's mascot. You fill in the blanks.

Why would I want to eat shitty chicken wings while staring at guys in tight wife beater tees and orange satin shorts?

[FistFullaRoux]

My wife wants to open a bar and grill next to Hooter's. Call it Pecker's and have a woodpecker as it's mascot. You fill in the blanks.

Why would I want to eat shitty chicken wings while staring at guys in tight wife beater tees and orange satin shorts?

Same reason my wife does not come with me to Hooters. They can have theirs, we can have ours.

I've found that to be the secret... Personal time and space.

[tryska]

My wife wants to open a bar and grill next to Hooter's. Call it Pecker's and have a woodpecker as it's mascot. You fill in the blanks.

Why would I want to eat shitty chicken wings while staring at guys in tight wife beater tees and orange satin shorts?

you know i said almost this exact same thing the last time i was asked to go to hooters.

[Keith Talent]

you know i said almost this exact same thing the last time i was asked to go to hooters.

Hooters doesn't have guys serving. If you had gone you would have known that.

[Comfort Me]

A couple of nights ago I had my kids at Chuck E Cheese (word of advice - eat first) and while I was sitting there wishing they had a hard liqiour licence to combat the growing headache caused by flashing lights/incesant noise/roomful of screaming kids I pondered what the hell kind of restaurant chooses a giant freaking rat as it's mascot. It's not even a clean looking rat, but rather slightly scruffy by design. They even let the massive vermin stroll around the restaurant. Now, I'm not a chef, or even involed in the trade, but even I know the optics of a giant rat strolling around the inside of a restaurant are bad.

My question is; Chuck E Cheese, the most audacious resteraunteurs ever, or just idiots?

Oh.

My.

G-d.

You actually called it a restaurant!

I haven't laughed that hard since Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa Cake!

I have had to go to these places to take my son to birthday parties. Just the presence of so many crusty, oozing, snotty children is enough to put me off my feed, then add in the ever present smell of the bleach solution used to disinfect the tables, chairs, trays, toys, games, etc. That is my idea of a f****** nightmare.

And the rat doesn't bother me as much as the staff, which can generally be described as disinterested and disagreeable.

Upon entering, adults and their children are stamped with an invisable, unique code. Adults leaving with children are then checked at the exit to make sure they aren't taking a child they didn't come in with.

The ink on my hand must have washed off when I washed my hands. An employee questioned me when we tried to leave, and I explained it must have washed off when I washed my hands after using the restroom. She told me I shouldn't have washed my hands. I almost threw up on a nearby "Bonk the Mole" game.

Friends don't let friends eat at Chuck E.'s

[fifi]

I just finished kissing the closest pictures of my GROWN children and sent them warm, motherly e-mails. I did not explain that my behaviour was due to a Chuckee Cheese discussion thread. I figured I would let them worry for a while.

Son: Hey, sis. Have you seen the weirded out e-mail from mother?

Daughter: Yeah. What is up with that? OMG... Do you suppose she had some sort of disease?

Son: Hmm... Either that or she has lapsed into some kind of depression or something.

Daughter: Well, should we call her to see if she is ok or just see if she returns to normal soon?

This type of speculation and exchange will go on for some days and dozens of e-mails. Eventually they will cave and I will get an e-mail along the lines of "WTF?" Only then will I tell them that I was just being thankful that they are too old to have subjected me to Chuckee Cheese. (This admission will be rapidly followed by dozens of e-mails between them along the lines of... "Chuckee Cheese???!!!" "The bitch got us again!")

BWAHAHAHAHA! Ain't being a parent fun?

[MRX]

No teacher in their right mind would ever consider entering a Chuckee Cheese's. Still, we have been known to recommend that a parent bring their offspring and 20 of it's closest friends to CC, if they have some how really ticked us off. It is customary for parents to bring envelopes stuffed with twenties during Parent Teacher night - or we teach your kids all of those smart ass comments that they will use on you during their teenage years.

[tommy]

i assumed this place served food, and was going to ask how it was. but i figured i'd look at the website instead. but i didn't find any reference whatsoever to food. is my assumption wrong?

[Suzanne F]

The January 12 issue of Nation's Restaurant News has this item in its "Side Dishes" section:

Brookfield, Wis.

What's the rowdiest restaurant in this Milwaukee suburb? The answer might surprise you.

According to an article in the Milwuakee [sic] Journal-Sentinel, a Chuck E. Cheese's restaurant certainly ranks up there. Police reported that they responded to more than 40 calls to investigate disturbances at the pizza and entertainment center famed for its kids parties. Two assaults and several verbal confrontations headed the list, along with various reports of theft, vandalism and bogus 911 calls made from the restaurant's public phones.

. . .

"The majority of problems come from the adults," Brookfield Police Sgt. Tim Imler told the Journal-Sentinel. "It's not the kids."

[MRX]

Hey Suzanne - weird place for it...the author I mentioned to you at your party is Harold MaGee.

[Suzanne F]

Thanks, MRX. Someone has mentioned something about him having a new book.

We now return you to Chuck E. Cheese, if we must.

[Toasted]

i assumed this place served food, and was going to ask how it was. but i figured i'd look at the website instead. but i didn't find any reference whatsoever to food. is my assumption wrong?

They do serve food. Pizza, hot dogs, grinders, all the stuff kids like.

At the Chuck E. Cheese near us they have a pretty good salad bar too.

They also serve beer and wine which is kind of weird considering it's

a kiddie restaurant.

[Raynickben]

The pizza isn't too bad. It's not like a great NY pizza, not even close, but taste wise it's ok. My husband calls it "cartoon pizza". Alas, the location closest to us no longer serves beer. A pitcher or two really eased the pain.

[Toasted]

If they really cared about the parents they would serve shots.

[Chad]

If they really cared about the parents they would serve shots.

Or rent those Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom tranquilizer rifles. They could sell the darts to parents for a dollar a pop .

<Marlin Perkins voice>"While Jim wrestles the giant rat to the ground, I'll be having Mai Tais with Jenny the waitress and teaching the parents to shoot."

Chad