You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

[Carlovski]

• Any item is descibed as 'The Chef's' - who the hells else is it?
  
• The salad dressing (indeed anything else on the menu) is described as special, or secret
  
• You can pay extra to have it on a 'sizzler'
  
• The waiter/waitress tells you their name
  

Any other good signs?

[beans]

edited to add:

Any item is descibed as 'The Chef's' - who the hells else is it?

The waiter/waitress tells you their name

Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.

Do a search, there have been a few similar discussions kicked around eG about things of this nature.

Edited December 2, 2003 by beans (log)

[KatieLoeb]

Unclean restrooms. If that's what the public spaces look like, I shudder to think about what's behind those kitchen doors

[guajolote]

... a roach runs across your table

[Varmint]

They ask you if you'd like to supersize your order.

[beans]

... or across a bartop

[Carlovski]

The waiter/waitress tells you their name

Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.

.

Good point. What I meant to moan about is the pre canned greetings masquerading as warm and friendly service.

[beans]

The waiter/waitress tells you their name

Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.

.

Good point. What I meant to moan about is the pre canned greetings masquerading as warm and friendly service.

Meh.

[AzRaeL]

It's Saturday Night,

dinner time

and you're the only customers.

[bilrus]

The staff are all wearing nametags.

The staff are all wearing "Flair".

Vinyl tablecloths.

The menus are laminated and have food bonded to them.

The condiments come in squeeze packets.

[fresco]

You suddenly remember seeing it in late night TV ads featuring a lot of people with bad fake accents and boasting many, many famous menu items, all for prices ending in .99.

[bilrus]

These are the same ads that feature wide camera shots that quickly zoom into the owner of the establishment smiling and shaking hands with 'Customers' for an uncomfortably long period of time.

Ads that are generally written, produced and shot by the local cable company ad sales rep.

Edited December 2, 2003 by bilrus (log)

[Carlovski]

The condiments come in squeeze packets.

That's the sure fire sign!

I have a certain fondness for the vinyl tablecloths though.

[malcolmjolley]

Items are served in a basket.

[bloviatrix]

... a roach runs across your table

...is sitting on the butter

[bilrus]

Items are served in a basket.

Unless the items are good bread or hot donuts at brunch.

And that's another one - bad bread.

[Lady T]

... a roach runs across your table

...and avoids your plate.

[vengroff]

the big draw is the all you-can-eat sushi bar.

[fresco]

The menu is described as "continental" and includes dishes from at least three unrelated cusines (usually French, Italian and Greek).

[beans]

Wow. Tough crowd!

The restaurant I work for used to serve fresh from the oven hot bread in a basket; we all wear name tags; tell our guests our names and serve Hellman's mayo in packets on the pool patio (no glass permitted with bare toes being a concern with boaters/bathingsuit clad patrons).

[mongo_jones]

the words "made from scratch" are on the menu; especially, if in close proximity to "chef's special sauce". the latter always brings unpleasant images to mind. "just like mom makes/made it" is another ambiguous recommendation.

[beans]

Lights dimmed low enough to mask grease spattered dining booths. (one fondue place comes to mind)

Use of paper plates.

"all you can eat" anything

bleh.

[fresco]

The name of the restaurant is some sniggering euphemism (Mother Tucker's comes to mind) and the drinks list is littered with more of the same (sloe screw, etc.)

[tryska]

hey now..some of the best bbq joints i've ever been in sport many of the aforementioned characteristics.

Edited December 2, 2003 by tryska (log)

[FistFullaRoux]

... a roach runs across your table

...is sitting on the butter

Is UNDER the butter