You know you are in a bad restaurant when....

Carlovski · December 2, 2003

Any item is descibed as 'The Chef's' - who the hells else is it?
The salad dressing (indeed anything else on the menu) is described as special, or secret
You can pay extra to have it on a 'sizzler'
The waiter/waitress tells you their name

Any other good signs?

beans · December 2, 2003

edited to add:

Any item is descibed as 'The Chef's' - who the hells else is it?

:laugh:

The waiter/waitress tells you their name

:hmmm:

Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.

Do a search, there have been a few similar discussions kicked around eG about things of this nature.

Edited December 2, 2003 by beans (log)

KatieLoeb · December 2, 2003

Unclean restrooms. If that's what the public spaces look like, I shudder to think about what's behind those kitchen doors :blink:

guajolote · December 2, 2003

... a roach runs across your table

Varmint · December 2, 2003

They ask you if you'd like to supersize your order.

beans · December 2, 2003

... or across a bartop

Carlovski · December 2, 2003

The waiter/waitress tells you their name
Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.
.

Good point. What I meant to moan about is the pre canned greetings masquerading as warm and friendly service.

beans · December 2, 2003

The waiter/waitress tells you their name
Their management forced friendliness, warmth and kind attentiveness to your every need translated into providing something to call them is no indication of the food that is being served. Ahem.
.
Good point. What I meant to moan about is the pre canned greetings masquerading as warm and friendly service.

Meh.

:laugh:

AzRaeL · December 2, 2003

It's Saturday Night,

dinner time

and you're the only customers.

bilrus · December 2, 2003

The staff are all wearing nametags.

The staff are all wearing "Flair".

Vinyl tablecloths.

The menus are laminated and have food bonded to them.

The condiments come in squeeze packets.

fresco · December 2, 2003

You suddenly remember seeing it in late night TV ads featuring a lot of people with bad fake accents and boasting many, many famous menu items, all for prices ending in .99.

bilrus · December 2, 2003

These are the same ads that feature wide camera shots that quickly zoom into the owner of the establishment smiling and shaking hands with 'Customers' for an uncomfortably long period of time.

Ads that are generally written, produced and shot by the local cable company ad sales rep.

Edited December 2, 2003 by bilrus (log)

Carlovski · December 2, 2003

The condiments come in squeeze packets.

That's the sure fire sign!

I have a certain fondness for the vinyl tablecloths though.

malcolmjolley · December 2, 2003

Items are served in a basket.

bloviatrix · December 2, 2003

... a roach runs across your table

...is sitting on the butter

bilrus · December 2, 2003

Items are served in a basket.

Unless the items are good bread or hot donuts at brunch.

And that's another one - bad bread.

Lady T · December 2, 2003

... a roach runs across your table

...and avoids your plate.

:wacko:

vengroff · December 2, 2003

the big draw is the all you-can-eat sushi bar.

fresco · December 2, 2003

The menu is described as "continental" and includes dishes from at least three unrelated cusines (usually French, Italian and Greek).

beans · December 2, 2003

:angry:

Wow. Tough crowd! :laugh:

The restaurant I work for used to serve fresh from the oven hot bread in a basket; we all wear name tags; tell our guests our names and serve Hellman's mayo in packets on the pool patio (no glass permitted with bare toes being a concern with boaters/bathingsuit clad patrons).

:wacko:

mongo_jones · December 2, 2003

the words "made from scratch" are on the menu; especially, if in close proximity to "chef's special sauce". the latter always brings unpleasant images to mind. "just like mom makes/made it" is another ambiguous recommendation.

beans · December 2, 2003

Lights dimmed low enough to mask grease spattered dining booths. (one fondue place comes to mind)

Use of paper plates.

"all you can eat" anything

bleh.

fresco · December 2, 2003

The name of the restaurant is some sniggering euphemism (Mother Tucker's comes to mind) and the drinks list is littered with more of the same (sloe screw, etc.)

tryska · December 2, 2003

hey now..some of the best bbq joints i've ever been in sport many of the aforementioned characteristics.

Edited December 2, 2003 by tryska (log)

FistFullaRoux · December 2, 2003

... a roach runs across your table
...is sitting on the butter

Is UNDER the butter :unsure:

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