Most Useless Kitchen Items and Utensils

[robyn]

I dunno. That wire cheese slicer thing is pretty useful for slicing Velveeta.

How about those cold water coffee extractor things? You put a whole bunch of coffee grounds in this big thingy with cold water. Then you keep the extract in the fridge, put a spoonful of extract in your cup, add hot water. This is a very convenient way to make really nasty coffee.

I have every garlic gadget known to man. All but one are pretty useless. The one useful one is this wonderful sculptural stainless steel mushroom that you can use to bash the garlic cloves and then rub your hands with it under the faucet to get the smell off your hands. I wish I could remember where I got it so I could give them as gifts.

What I really want is one of those magic machines that you drop the head of garlic in one end and a perfect 1/16th inch dice comes out the other.

As for garlic gadgets - my husband bought one that actually works. It is a little rubber tube that "peels" the garlic. I think you put the cloves inside - massage the tube - and the peeled garlic comes out. When I say "I think" this is how it works - well I don't know. All I know is when I ask him to peel all the cloves in a head of garlic for something I'm doing - he does it using this gadget - and says it works great. Robyn

[robyn]

The most useless thing in my kitchen?  A cast iron corn-bread mold shaped like fish.  Attractive, yes; but heavy, difficult to clean, and cornbread baked in it doesn't actually look like fish.

OMG! I have one of those, too. I found it in this quirky hardware store in a little town in the Texas Hill Country. I had to have it. What is really dumb is that it only makes 5 "fish". I guess I should have bought two. How do you make batter for and then what do you do with 5 cornbread fish? Well, I guess from what you say I would have 2 pans that make cornbread that really don't look like fish. *heavy sigh*

I got one of those grapefruit cutter things that was on late night TV a few years ago. It has this corer and then these arc shaped cutters on the lid over a bowl. You core the fruit, jam it down on the cutters, turn the lid and, voila! Actually, the damn thing really works. The challenge is finding all of the pieces.

I eat a lot more grapefruit (love to put it in salads) since I discovered the pink grapefruit sections in jars.

As for cast iron skillets - including corn bread skillets - I don't have enough years left to season the things properly. About all I ever made in my cast iron skillets was rust. Robyn

[robyn]

A tiny, wooden, mortar and pestle - received as a gift when I wanted one of those huge, heavy monsters a la Jamie Oliver. It collects dust but I can't get rid of it as the person who gave it to me keeps a close eye on it!

I have a small wood mortar and pestle. It isn't good for much - but you can use it to crush small amounts of things like cumin seeds. Robyn

[robyn]

I did return the Kyocera julienne slicer I bought at Williams Sonoma.  The regular slicer works ok - but the julienne doesn't.

Oh good. Then it wasn't just me.

How does a company like Kyocera make such a no-good product? How can a company like Williams Sonoma actually sell something like that? Doesn't someone try this stuff before they crank up the manufacturing and marketing? Sheesh.

ming seems to endorse it.

Endorsing isn't the same as using :).

I am always on the hunt for the holy grail of gadgets that will overcome my meager knife skills. I wound up buying a Benriner that does a much better job. Robyn

[JAZ]

Working in a cookware store, I see a lot of gadgets. The little fish cooking guides, the garlic peelers, the shrimp deveiners, the egg cubers -- you name it, I've seen it. All I can say is:

VinChilla.

This thing is a wine chiller, priced at about $100. Everyone who comes in to buy one thinks that it's a home model of the chillers you see in some wine shops. But when you read the directions, you find that you fill this thing with ice and water (it looks like a big clunky wine bucket), put your wine in, and it spins the bottle. One of my goals in life is to talk people out of buying this thing.

[robyn]

Garlic baker, anyone?

I love my garlic baker (if only because it reminds me to roast a head of garlic now and then). Robyn

[robyn]

The garlic press that I recieved when I got married has been used all of one or two times. I have moved it to three different houses and two apartments in the last twenty years. I have no idea why.

I have a tea ball, and haven't made tea in years. But since it is  made of non reactive metal, I have found it very useful as a garni holder in soups. It actually works great for this purpose.

I have a top o' the line ricer that I need to put in someone's garage sale. Pain in the ass to use and worse to clean up. What's the point?

I'm feeling like such a schmo, but I'm actually muttering to myself, "Hmmm. I need a tea ball. I couldn't find one when I needed one the other day. Hmmm. I have been eyeing a ricer for months, but my wife says it's too much money. I want a ricer."

The most useless thing in my kitchen? A cast iron corn-bread mold shaped like fish. Attractive, yes; but heavy, difficult to clean, and cornbread baked in it doesn't actually look like fish.

Well - you need a tea ball if you want to make a small amount of tea and don't want to use a tea pot with loose tea for that cup or two. If you don't make small amounts of tea - you probably don't need a tea ball. Just like I always wanted a beautiful espresso machine. But I drink one cup of coffee in the morning - that's it - and I never drink espesso. So I doubt I could justify a $1000 espresso maker.

As for the ricer - if you make only one dish - mashed potatoes - it will pay for itself. If you're on the Atkins diet - forget about it :). My favorite ricer is the one I bought at Williams Sonoma a few years ago. Plastic - goes into the dishwasher and cleans up beautifully. Robyn

[Nick]

Some people have put down the garlic press. For some things it's great. When it came time for me to inherit my mother's stuff there were only a few things I wanted - the cast iron, the spatula, and the garlic press. I don't use the press that often, but when I want the juice and pulp from the clove that's what I use.

Mortar and pestle is okay, but a suribachi is a lot more useful. (Edit - for me it's more useful.)

Edited November 22, 2003 by Nick (log)

[robyn]

I have tons of useless gadgets, given to me by well-meaning relatives who know that we love to cook.  By far the most useless item given to me are the little shaped bread tube things from Pampered Chef - you put packaged bread dough in them, and slice the baked loaves for canapes.  I never even cracked open the box they came in.

None of my relatives has ever given me any of my useless gadgets. I can only blame them on myself :). Most have long since hit the trash - but - like the ghost of Christmas past - they come back to haunt me. Hard to pick the worst - how about the plastic container thing which was supposed to allow you to microwave eggs? About the only good thing I have to say about it is that the eggs didn't explode. Robyn

[GrizzyLemon]

I have always thought electric can-openers were the most useless. They take up space and is there really

someone out there that can't use a hand held?

[Anna N]

I have always thought electric can-openers were the most useless.  They take up space and is there really

someone out there that can't use a hand held?

I agree, for most able-bodied people, they are useless and I refuse to have one. But I do see that for those with arthritis or hand injuries, etc. they can be a real boon. The other thing that makes them appeal to some people is that they don't get lost in the "junk" drawer.

[fsuedu]

gee....there's so many things....i could write a book....but i can tell you the things i would never have bought for myself that i inherited and wouldn't give up for the world:

three odd knives of dubious origin....a carving knife, a paring knife and something midsize that probably had another life somewhere..i've never bought anything that compares to these old warhorses...and the sharpening stones that my daddy used.....

strainers....old wire mesh ones of different sizes/meshes....sift dry ingredients, strain soup, strain fruit juices, make big gallon batches of iced tea.....on and on...i've got enough of them to use different ones for different things.......

the one thing i could have lived without and never missed is any kind of fancy food processor......i want to puree my own stuff (if i have to, i can use a blender...ugh....but a blender is great for slushy drinks), i want to chop my own stuff, and the day has not come when i can't mix up a batch of dough without a machine, thank you very much.....the only good thing a food processor ever did for me was act as a door stop when i was moving stuff.........

[fsuedu]

Grapefruit knives. Plural. Not a fan of grapefruit. My father has a thing for buying odd, often useless gifts for people - and once he's decided something is a successful gift he will often repeat several times.

I use mine to section a grapefruit. Wouldn't give it up.

How do you section a grapefruit without one, at least without losing most of the pulp?

well, depends on how you want to present the thing....i peel the grapefruit and save the peel for zests or candied peel or something, and do the thing where you slice out the sections between the "dividers".....i like this because i can serve both pink and white grapefruit and maybe oranges or something in a pretty dish.....if you want to serve it in the "cup", i guess you'd have to section it with a regular knife....which works just about as well as a grapefruit knife....but a grapefruit knife is a wonderful thing to save your nails opening tab top cans, and is a pretty decent screwdriver for odd spaces

[Ladybug]

I have tons of useless gadgets, given to me by well-meaning relatives who know that we love to cook. By far the most useless item given to me are the little shaped bread tube things from Pampered Chef - you put packaged bread dough in them, and slice the baked loaves for canapes. I never even cracked open the box they came in.

I had one of those awful Pampered Chef bread tubes. Someone gave it to me and I felt obligated to try it. I followed the directions perfectly, but somehow the tube, which you're supposed to bake standing on end, fell over in my oven and spilled pound cake batter all over the floor of the oven. It was a terrible mess. I can't figure out how it fell over - I didn't bump the oven or anything. The texture of the pound cake that was left in the tube (which I actually baked anyway) tasted steamed and too heavy. I threw it out and I also threw the "pan" out.

I repeated to myself, "It's the thought that counts, it's the thought that counts!"

[JAZ]

the one thing i could have lived without and never missed is any kind of fancy food processor......i want to puree my own stuff (if i have to, i can use a blender...ugh....but a blender is great for slushy drinks), i want to chop my own stuff, and the day has not come when i can't mix up a batch of dough without a machine, thank you very much.....the only good thing a food processor ever did for me was act as a door stop when i was moving stuff.........

It's not that I use my food processor often, but when I'm making large quanitites of food, it's a godsend. For instance, It's one thing to grate a cup of cheese by hand, but a couple of pounds? Food processor. Likewise for a couple of heads of cabbage. And it's indispensible for my cheddar-ale spread.

[Squeat Mungry]

Mortar and pestle is okay, but a suribachi is a lot more useful. (Edit - for me it's more useful.)

Nick, this is really interesting to me. Suribachis are beautiful, but how are they more useful (to you) than my granite mortar and pestle? Now I'm thinking I might have to have one.

Thanks,

Squeat

[Katherine]

Mortar and pestle is okay, but a suribachi is a lot more useful. (Edit - for me it's more useful.)

Nick, this is really interesting to me. Suribachis are beautiful, but how are they more useful (to you) than my granite mortar and pestle? Now I'm thinking I might have to have one.

Thanks,

Squeat

I have two mortar and pestle sets that I use all the time, but my suribachi has been used only once, and that time unsuccessfully. I think I finished off the sesame seeds in the blender.

[fifi]

pssst... what is a suribachi?

[Nick]

Mortar and pestle is okay, but a suribachi is a lot more useful. (Edit - for me it's more useful.)

Nick, this is really interesting to me. Suribachis are beautiful, but how are they more useful (to you) than my granite mortar and pestle? Now I'm thinking I might have to have one.

Thanks,

Squeat

Squeat, I bought a mortar and pestle a few years ago and used it once for something I've now forgotten. I almost listed it as my most useless utensil. I've had my suribachi for years and use it for sesame seeds (toasted for gamasio) and other things like coriander.

Katherine, there are probably suribachis that don't work as well as others. Maybe some pottery's think if they scratch up the inside of a bowl they have a suribachi. Mine is pretty utilitarian and was made in Japan so maybe that helps.

Nick

Edit: Fifi, it's a ceramic bowl with scratches inside. Some are scratched better than others and the pestle is made of wood and larger than the ones you use with a mortar.

Edited November 23, 2003 by Nick (log)

[arjay]

Salad Shooter.......gift........used it one time in a row.

[fifi]

thanks

There is a suribachi here.

Is this a good one?

[Nick]

thanks

There is a suribachi here.

Is this a good one?

That would probably work. The ridges in mine are curved (sworled) counter clockwise a little and as I grind clockwise maybe that helps. I'm not sure what they mean at the link when they say, " Hold the top of the pestle with one hand and rotate the lower part with the other." That must be one huge and heavy suribachi. I hold the bowl with one hand and rotate the pestle with the other.

[newsbabe]

My mother-in-law once gave me a banana holder -- yes, a gadget used to hold your bananas. What was she thinking spending actual dollars on that?

[rgruby]

Emeril.

And, I have and use a banana holder. Things I have and don't use include garlic crushers, a shrimp deveiner (would be handy if it actually worked), and I had a "miracle chopper" thing that was pretty much useless. I try and stay away from single-use items when I can, but I've probably got a few of those kinds of things that I used once or twice at most kicking around the deep dark recesses at the back of my kitchen drawers.

Cheers,

Geoff Ruby

[Bux]

I am always on the hunt for the holy grail of gadgets that will overcome my meager knife skills. I wound up buying a Benriner that does a much better job. Robyn

I was thinking of buying a very expensive mandoline when I was told by a couple of chefs who worked at Daniel, that in spite of the fact that they have one of those stainless steel mandolines in the kitchen, everyone just reaches for a Benriner. It was a great purchase.