The Ultimate Spilling Food On Yourself Topic

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

I think just coming up with that title is enough, so someone else start.

Jason Perlow · August 28, 2003

Does splattering food on your shirt at every meal count as spilling? I get a stain every time I eat, guaranteed.

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

Yes, that counts. Thank you for your contribution to the thread.

Varmint · August 28, 2003

I find it hilarious when businessmen tuck their tie in their shirt or throw it over their shoulder when they eat. Heaven forbid they pay 4 bucks to get their tie dry-cleaned. Hell, I'd rather have the food land on the tie, as it would be far less noticeable than the food on my shirt. Consider the tie a very narrow bib.

browniebaker · August 28, 2003

At a formal dinner I had strawberry sauce drop from my spoon right into my cleavage. The woman I was talking to definitely saw my faux pas and had the grace to look away quickly so I could do a quick wipe. She had amazing composure, I thought, in not cracking up laughing, which is more than I could have done if I had been in her shoes! I'll never forget her for that.

Stone · August 28, 2003

At a formal dinner I had strawberry sauce drop from my spoon right into my cleavage.

I love strawberries.

tejon · August 28, 2003

I've had many a spill into the cleavage area as well. Let's just say having a napkin in my lap doesn't help much :laugh:

KelMH · August 28, 2003

I once bit into a piece of bread drenched in oil and vinegar, and thus spewed the lethal fluids not only on my dress, but on my dinner companion's crisp white shirt. Painful, but funny.

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

Speaking as a fat guy, I can say from experience that we fat people are, as a pure question of Newtonian physics, more likely to get stuff on our shirts than thin people. Assuming good posture, if a thin person drops something from his fork, it will fall into his lap and presumably napkin. A fat guy's belly, however, will intervene, resulting in a stain. This is also a problem for large-breasted women, I hasten to add.

Carolyn Tillie · August 28, 2003

Speaking as a fat guy, I can say from experience that we fat people are, as a pure question of Newtonian physics, more likely to get stuff on our shirts than thin people. Assuming good posture, if a thin person drops something from his fork, it will fall into his lap and presumably napkin. A fat guy's belly, however, will intervene, resulting in a stain. This is also a problem for large-breasted women, I hasten to add.

I was just going to add that, as a large-breasted woman, I consistently have to purchase new shirts and blouses. Never, dear Fat Guy, have I ever had the problem of any sort of food falling into my lap. Nay, my ample bosom intercedes...

Varmint · August 28, 2003

Then, of course, the problems of fat men with cleavage. Very, very troublesome. :wink:

KatieLoeb · August 28, 2003

First day of seventh grade. New school, new dress. Walking away from cashier at cafeteria my tray is up-ended by an upper-classman. Spaghetti and sauce everywhere. Definitely in my adolescent trauma file. Years of therapy and I'm still not over it. Need I say more? :biggrin:

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

I was just going to add that, as a large-breasted woman

I love the Internet.

Human Bean · August 28, 2003

Since the thread is relatively undefined yet, I suggest a couple of things that you should NEVER spill on yourself, due to their relative inability to be removed:

Turmeric. Bright yellow spice/dye found in Indian food and American prepared mustard (French's for example). It nearly takes an act of (deity) to remove this; I have a polyproplyene cutting board that has persistent stains from fresh turmeric. This seems implausible unless you've dealt with it. It even stains stainless steel knives; if you want to impress your friends with your solid-gold knives, rub them with fresh turmeric - it'll look impressive, but will eventually fade.

Soy sauce. Surprisingly persistent.

Having said that, I wouldn't wish to limit discussion to persistent stains or their removal, though that's welcome of course; I expect (and hope?) that stories of embarassing spills will predominate. :smile:

Carry on.

Jason Perlow · August 28, 2003

What do you guys use to remove stains? Rachel uses SHOUT, with a modicum of success. But some things never come out entirely.

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

What do you guys use to remove stains?

A Chinese dude on 92nd Street.

Jason Perlow · August 28, 2003

What do you guys use to remove stains?
A Chinese dude on 92nd Street.

smartass.

Human Bean · August 28, 2003

smartass.

Indeed. I consulted the Portland, OR phone directory, and didn't see any laundries on 92nd Street. :biggrin:

Maybe the solution for stained ties is not to wear a tie that shows stains - there are lots of patterns where a stain wouldn't be noticeable, and might be an enhancement. :smile:

Not that I wear a tie anyway, so how would I know?

Fat Guy · August 28, 2003

Remind me someday to tell the story of when the Chinese dude from the dry cleaner on 92nd Street and I were dining at Jing Fong on the same night.

tommy · August 28, 2003

What do you guys use to remove stains? Rachel uses SHOUT, with a modicum of success. But some things never come out entirely.

if i may be so bold jason, i'm always impressed at how stain-free your shirts are when i see you at the beginning of dinner. i get stains on my t-shirts from god knows where, and they never come out. and as most of you who've met me know, i've only got about 4 t-shirts.

tonite, i think, i trumped anything jason has ever done: i got 4 stains on the sleeve of my shirt. up by my shoulder. i saw a friend after dinner and brought it up, and he said "dude, i was going to ask you what happened...it looks like you got bit by dracula...twice." they're very nice stains actually. i think i'll leave them.

tommy · August 28, 2003

Maybe the solution for stained ties is not to wear a tie that shows stains - there are lots of patterns where a stain wouldn't be noticeable, and might be an enhancement.

i've always wondered why guys throw their ties up over their shoulders when eating. first off all, it makes you look like a tosser. second, i've always thought that tiny stains on a tie can often be less noticeable than stains on a white shirt. although i still end up looking like this after a spirited meal.

Edited August 28, 2003 by tommy (log)

Jason Perlow · August 28, 2003

So I take it nobody is familiar with Messy Girl dot com?

WARNING: ADULT MATERIAL IN LINK

browniebaker · August 28, 2003

Soy sauce. Surprisingly persistent.

That's why I have a dim-sum outfit, a dress that is all black and hides countless soy sauce stains (and also has no waist-band!). One day my two-year-old saw me putting it on and said "dim sum!"

fifi · August 28, 2003

When it came time to make the "where to lunch" decision, I would swear that the guys would take one look at my white silk blouse and say "chili dogs"!

I actually overheard this conversation... "Why don't we try that new spagetti place for lunch?" "Naaah... Fifi is wearing black."

Suzanne F · August 28, 2003

HWOE refuses to buy any tie that costs more than $10. (Of course, I have to go with him so he doesn't come home with something that looks like it costs < $10.) So by the time the stains start to show, it's cheaper to just replace the tie.

Why on earth do men pay so much money for ties??? :blink:

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