The Heartland & Our Neighbors (October 17-19 )

[maggiethecat]

The cauliflower at the Grand Rapids Farmers Market was so snowy I had to buy a head. Of course.

When I returned to the kitchen I was feeling uninspired. Crudites don't fly with this bunch. I'm doing scalloped potatoes and leeks, so a gratin wasn't on.

Eureka! Maggie, you Foolish Woman...check the eGullet recipe archive! The Jim Dixon/Amanda Hesser Cauliflower will be making an appearance.

Fresco's lovely daughter Sarah flew in from Toronto this morning.

[Dave the Cook]

Where are those pictures?  Let the rest of us see what fun you're having... so we can become still more jealous!

Yes! We were promised pictures!

And --

-- I think we're owed an explanation for the food coloring. It had better be good.

[Varmint]

Geez Louise, at least we posted pictures every few hours or so last weekend. You're killing us, Heartlanders!!!

[Malawry]

It sounds like you are all having a terrific time together. Edemuth and I will lift glasses to each of you tonight. (We might have trouble crawling out from under the table after all those glasses though!)

[Alex]

Things are hoppin' at Michele's! I just dropped off fresco after heading from the Farmer's Market (yes, they call it that here, too) to Martha's Vineyard (the store) to pick up good Chilean cabs and even better port, then to D & W to get live mussels. He'll be making a curry-seasoned mussel-potato salad. Everyone else was slicing and dicing and coordinating like a professional kitchen. I'm back home about to make Sautéed Corn (the last of the fresh local corn ) and Butternut Squash with Spinach, Bacon, and Basil.

[Varmint]

Dave, we fucked up, didn't we?

It's quiet here. Too quiet.

[Lady T]

Aurora's mixing cake batter.

Prep slaves Klinkster and I (he's way faster) just finished cutting peppers and onions into strips for G-man's sauteeing pleasure in a bit.

I'll be setting piecrust up to chill shortly; won't mix custard until the cake's baking -- better that way; I don't like to make it wait in the fridge.

Michelle's cleaning up valiantly after us.

Too busy for pictures right now, Varmint. Hang tight for a bit...

You don't wanna know, Dave.

Fresco: "Is 'shitload' a defined quantity?"

G-man: "That's a Midwestern term..."

Game, Seth? What game?

[Dave the Cook]

Dave, we fucked up, didn't we?

Yeah, we did.

It's quiet here.  Too quiet.

Yeah, it is.

[maggiethecat]

-- I think we're owed an explanation for the food coloring. It had better be good.

Ahem, Archie:

The food coloring is for Dawn's cream cheese frosting: She intends to pipe a cunning design of (orange) carrots on its top.

MatthewB just opened a beer (Bells's) with a cigarette lighter: Al, his technique might be even slicker than yours...if that's possible.

Tammy just walked in bearing a case of wine.

Dean is recreating the two-tone pepper extravaganza that he had planned to make in Raleigh...until Varmint hid his peppers!

[Lady T]

Klink just started slicing a cold smoked brisket he brought along just for snacking.

Major religious experience in progress.

[tammylc]

Actually, Tammy's case of wine was really a case of Izze - blackberry, pear, grapefruit and lemon. Sorry to get your hopes up. But really... it looks like the wine is completely covered!

And Klink's beef brisket was awesome.

[maggiethecat]

WTN: Klink's Domaine "La Garrigue" 2000 (Cotes de Rhone)is being savoured, along with the Righteous Smoked Brisket, Hungarian paprika sausage and braunshweiger.

Matthew's reading the dustjacket of his newest purchase "The Pleasure of my Company," by Steve Martin.

The music's getting louder, and so is the laughter.

[Lady T]

2:55 p.m.: Mussels steaming for mussel/potato salad; beets boiled and jacketed and being set up by G-man for further use; G-man's lamb salami has joined the heavy cutting board action; Klinkster attending both smokers simultaneously; Matthew buzzing around seeing that beverages are properly distributed to all.

"Well, I got some flour and some sugar here, an' I got some sifting action goin' on..." -- Aurora, doing Rachael Ray imitation.

"You know what gets the red out..." -- Aurora, speculating on the effect or red wine on white rug.

"Eyedrops." -- Lady T.

"Matthew." -- Michelle, smiling radiantly.

[Aurora]

4:23 PM Eastern

The carrot cake is doing nicely in the oven, and we've done a cleanup in preparation for round two which involves Jim Dixon's cauliflower recipe, a custard pie from Lady T, au gratin potatos from Maggie, a salad, and hopefully more brisket.

Unfortunately, because I am not Keller-inclined, I will not attempt to extract keratin from the remaining carrots as a method of coloring the cream cheese frosting that will be used to pipe a carrot on top of the cake. Unfortunately, I will not be making a decorative carrot of any kind. I forgot to pack my pastry bags and tips in the bag of kitchen items that I brought with me, and Alex forgot his at home. I could use the cut-the-corner-off-a-plastic-bag method, but I'm lazy, so that ain't happening either.

There won't be carrots on top, but I don't think anyone in this crowd will care.

Nero just arrived with her boyfriend and a bunch of her pillow things that I really love.

The cake is out, and it looks pretty good. Now, I am off to make the frosting and continue stuffing my face.

[tammylc]

4:47 pm ET

Nero's drinking wine in a can. "It's 13.9!" she cries out from the kitchen. That's about the best thing you can say about it. That, and the cop in the car they passed on the way here assumed they were drinking one of those trendy coffee drinks.

(Tammy, with editing assistance from LadyT)

[tammylc]

Pie's in the oven. Maggie's doing the potatoes for the gratin and carrying on what appears to be four simultaneous separate conversations. At the moment, anyhow. Michelle is giving the puppy (6 months old, approximately 77% wiggle) exercise and attention.

We're about to do a Wine Clip tasting. Be afraid. Be very afraid...

[tammylc]

I just failed a blind tasting using the Wine Clip, mistakenly identifying the non-clipped wine as the clipped one. They did have noticeably different noses, but I guess my palate isn't up to the task of identifying it...

We're now trying to figure out how to apply the Wine Clip to Nero's wine in a can...

[col klink]

We've just found out that Dean doesn't know what he's doing. The Wine Clip was install UP SIDE DOWN.

Thus clearly making the wine taste more like shit than necessary.

From the instructions:

"For most wines, the best results come from facing the black arrow toward the opening of the bottle. However, depending on your taste and the type of wine you are treating, you may find facing the arrow down has a more desirable effect."

[Dave the Cook]

Food coloring: all is forgiven. Cunning carrot decorations are of course exceptionable.

Two-tone pepper thing: Varmint's fuck-up is your gain. Dammit.

Brisket snackies: yum

Steve Martin: Matthew's a fan. Whodathot?

Wine in a can:

[Lady T]

Klink: "But...but...I've never spatchcocked before!"

Guess you never forget your first time...

[Dave the Cook]

What (or who) is getting spatchcocked? I recall no spatchcockables on the menu.

P.S.: Spatchcock.

[Dave the Cook]

Oh, yeah . . .

What-all is on the smoker? And how's it doing?

[Lady T]

5:42 p.m.: The duck whose demise Klink and G-man witnessed early yesterday went to the smoker in a thoroughly spatchcocked state. Lean little guy; doesn't have the usual two cups of duck fat around his anatomy. Came off the fire looking magnificently bronzed.

The magnificent 17 pounds of prime beef came off the fire a bit ago; I think there's a sweet bit of pork finishing up now.

Maggie's roasted cauliflower and escalloped potatoes are cooking now; the rest of G-man's kin have arrived; the party is in full howl now, and Dave, you would weep with joy to see the choreography going on -- "Hot behind you, Maggie! Don't move!" -- as all these people converge in Matt's kitchen to finish the cooking and get the eating going full tilt.

I'd better get out there, or I won't get any of NeroW's ham-and-cheese-pillow pastries. Can't have that.

[col klink]

I just want to give a special shout out to Guajolote, the spatchcock-master. No longer am I spatchcockless, I am now a spatchcocker. Damn, they're easy.

By the way, Nero says that roasted cauliflower doesn't taste like pee.

Where'd my side car go?

[snowangel]

In the spirit of things, here's what's cooking in Minneapolis on an absolutely gorgous day (pushing 80, very sunny).

Ribs are slowly smoking. Thanks to Klink's expert lesson, Weber Kettle had not made it over 250, spending most of it's time at between 200-225.

Cookies (chocolate chip/toffee bit) dough in fridge. First pan will go in just after supper so they are nice and fresh.

Potato salad (vinagettey) in fridge.

Baked beans (bourbon) simmering nicely in crock pot.

Peter just made his favorite appetizer -- tuna salad (tuna, mayo, dash of mustard) to be used as dip with parmesean Goldfish crackers. He (age 7) did it all himself, and for the first time ever, didn't overdo it with the mayo. Previous attempts have been 2-1 mayo-tuna.

We'll snap the ends off the green beans just before cooking. I've been getting the best green beans I can remember in years from the farmer's market. Squeeze of lemon and kosher salt after the're cooked crisp/tender.

Beer and coca-cola (icey cold over ice cubes) for adults and kids respectively. Diana is off in Nebraska with my folks, so she's missing our Saturday festivities.

Wish I was there, or you all were here.

Is wine out of a can better or worse than wine out of a box?