Alcohol free whisky and vodka!

[Mattmvb]

I just spotted this on The Whisky Exchange blog:

TWE Blog

The Whiskey Exchange is an English supplier of speciality spirits, especially (unsurprisingly) whisk(e)ys. They also have a very useful and interesting blog.

It seems someone's offering them alcohol free whiskey and vodka. I agree with the author, I can just about get my head around the notion of alcohol free whisky, not that I could ever see myself touching it with a bargepole, but zero proof vodka???

I really hope it is an elaborate joke!

Cheers,

Matt

[thirtyoneknots]

I just spotted this on The Whisky Exchange blog:

TWE Blog

The Whiskey Exchange is an English supplier of speciality spirits, especially (unsurprisingly) whisk(e)ys.  They also have a very useful and interesting blog.

It seems someone's offering them alcohol free whiskey and vodka.  I agree with the author, I can just about get my head around the notion of alcohol free whisky, not that I could ever see myself touching it with a bargepole, but zero proof vodka???

I really hope it is an elaborate joke!

Cheers,

Matt

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What, one wonders, would distinguish alcohol free vodka from bottled water?

[Dave the Cook]

Alcohol-free vodka made from French grapes rather than alcohol-free vodka made from Polish potatoes. Duh.

[JAZ]

From the website:

Blue ZERO non alcohol vodka tastes and looks exactly like traditional Canadian Vodka..

Ah, so that explains it.

[thirtyoneknots]

Alcohol-free vodka made from French grapes rather than alcohol-free vodka made from Polish potatoes. Duh.

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Of course, rudimentary principles that I somehow forgot. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

[Mike S.]

Three of the most nonsensical words I've read in a long time: "traditional Canadian Vodka".

[nickrey]

Alcohol free whisky and vodka:

WHY?

[Mattmvb]

Yep, and there was me thinking that Camitz had plumbed a new depth for ludicrous vodka ideas.

I really did think that I'd seen it all when I saw that, but now we have alcohol free vodka.

However, I think I've recently found a new contender - Oval Vodka - as vodkas go it's OK, but the marketing that goes with it is on a completely different planet...

edited to remove gratutious use of exclamation marks!!!!!!!!

Edited June 22, 2009 by Mattmvb (log)

[brinza]

Three of the most nonsensical words I've read in a long time:  "traditional Canadian Vodka".

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It gets better. If you look at the V&V Trading Company Ltd Collection page, where they have close-ups of the labels (because those Bigfoot-style blurry photos of the bottles are useless) we find out it's "Blended Canadian Vodka!" I really have to wonder if these are actually made in the countries that are claimed on the labels. Why go to those lengths for something this dubious?

[haresfur]

Three of the most nonsensical words I've read in a long time:  "traditional Canadian Vodka".

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It gets better. If you look at the V&V Trading Company Ltd Collection page, where they have close-ups of the labels (because those Bigfoot-style blurry photos of the bottles are useless) we find out it's "Blended Canadian Vodka!" I really have to wonder if these are actually made in the countries that are claimed on the labels. Why go to those lengths for something this dubious?

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Blended with what, neutral grain spirits?

[slkinsey]

However, I think I've recently found a new contender - Oval Vodka - as vodkas go it's OK, but the marketing that goes with it is on a completely different planet...

Holy crap that is the biggest load of hogwash I have seen in years.

[drinkslover]

Hi, I'm Tim F from the TWE blog - thanks for linking to me

Some of my readers picked up the ball and ran with it - it turns out that Black Zero et al are from Panama, and their whisky is not, in fact, "Scotish" after all - what a surprise!

For those interested, Chris Bunting from the excellent Japanese whisky blog Nonjatta has done a much better-written piece than my own on Japanese alcohol-free whisky here:

http://nonjatta.blogspot.com/2009/06/hoisu-ky.html

[David Santucci]

However, I think I've recently found a new contender - Oval Vodka - as vodkas go it's OK, but the marketing that goes with it is on a completely different planet...

Holy crap that is the biggest load of hogwash I have seen in years.

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Wow, how amazing that they can maintain that tetrahedral structure at 24, 42 and 56 percent -- must be some kind of golden ratios or something.

[MaxH]

Great thread!

What, one wonders, would distinguish alcohol free vodka from bottled water?

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Price, is my guess.

Given that the traditional difference between vodka and water is alcohol, "alcohol-free vodka" joins a rarified group of earlier product concepts that, if you understand the descriptions, are completely contradictory.

Fat-free half-and-half. ("Half-and-half" is a North-American name for a light cream, as for coffee -- traditionally half milk, half cream. It purpose is to contain more fat than milk. Incidentally the name half-and-half is famously unknown in most English-speaking countries, where recipes specifying it cause confusion.) I gather this is an artificially thickened nonfat milk.

Passive preamplifier. In traditional home audio equipment a "preamplifier" boosts a weak source, such as a microphone. Its purpose is to amplify. "Passive" in electronics means something that does not amplify.

[slkinsey]

My favorite, that will make perfect sense to many but no sense whatsoever to some: Chicken-fried chicken.

[Conal]

Light cream and Half and half are two different products.Light cream is 18% butter fat while H&H is about 10.5. Fat free half and half is an interesting product.I guess certain people felt stirring non dairy creamer into a cup of coffee was too difficult.So some genius had the idea of pre-mixing the crap in a box with skim milk or water for the non dairy versions.mmmm.

[MaxH]

Light cream and Half and half are two different products.Light cream is 18% butter fat while H&H is about 10.5.

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Thanks Conal. Since you're interested, I'll elaborate: the US has five or six formal categories of "cream," each with a range of butterfat content (I recall that within the H&H definition, 10.5% actually is at or near the lower end). "A light cream" is a generic rather than regional label, fairly self-explanatory I hope to people unaccustomed to "half and half." ("Light cream" itself has formal definitions, varying by country). In particular, several years ago on a different and much older food-discussion forum (rec.food.cooking), English speakers outside US (I think Australia or UK or India or all three) questioned the idiom "half-and-half," which may have caused the phrase's addition to a FAQ file of such regional terms in recipes (another famous example is US "Graham crackers," resembling but less fatty than the Commonwealth's "digestive biscuits," for instance).

UK's formal definitions include "half cream" which sounds similar to US "half-and-half" but IIRC has a different, higher, butterfat content.

US "non-dairy creamer" historically was built on powdered hydrogenated vegetable oil sweetened with things like corn-syrup solids. Coffee-Mate ® was a dominant brand. That may have changed lately with the denigration of artificially hardened fats and their trans-fatty acid content, but many people will still associate "non-dairy creamer" with fat content, inconsistent with "nonfat" half-and-half.

I'm sure we can all agree that the point of creams is butterfat, as the point of vodka is alcohol, so a "nonfat" cream of any kind is a close cousin of "alcohol-free" vodka. I hope some enterprising psychologist has studied the mental processes that happily accept such contradictions in terms. (Years ago, more darkly, Orwell described a fictional[ized] totalitarian state with agencies like the Ministry of Truth, "which dealt with lies." Regrettably only partly fictionalized, because some people at that time faced realities not too different. Example: The "We live more joyfully!" propaganda theme, USSR 1938, which saw widespread public acclaim and approval. Since those who spoke up against it disappeared, support prevailed. Today in the US and other places, such contradictory euphemisms seem to be alive and well in commerce.)