Patrons with Tea bags

[grayelf]

Prasantrin, you and Lonefoodie bring up an interesting point. What is  considered acceptable in North America may not be (and vice versa) in other parts of the world.

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I know this is supposed to be just about tea - but here in China so many people bring their own food to restaurants that they've started putting up notices about it in many (cheaper) restaurants.

But, I've still seen people sit down (usually with a friend who is eating the restaurant food) and pull out their own biscuits, drinks, and snacks and happily chow down!!

It still slightly boggles my (Western-orientated) mind!

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Going OT with you :-): we were in a coffee shop on Irving in San Francisco this past weekend where a "patron" was sitting the entire time we were there using the resto's free WiFi and as we were leaving hauled out a big ol' bag o' her own food and started noshing -- no evidence of having purchased so much as a... tea bag!

Edited April 24, 2008 by grayelf (log)

[RachelAnn]

As a server, I agree with the corkage analogy by which someone might pay a fee to bring in their own tea, because it is a little annoying to spend time that might be allocated to other guests preparing something that is not being paid for. However, I make my living by accommodating people, and I think that many guests would feel taken aback by being charged for hot water service. Servers live on tips, as our paychecks are usually for $0 (because of the taxes taken out of our declared tips). To me the extra effort of accommodating a guest and getting a decent tip versus the risk of them balking at the charge and tipping me badly is well worth getting them some hot water and honey or cream, despite the fact that my restaurant carries s variety of high-quality loose leaf teas. Furthermore, some people follow certain diets or have mandatory dietary restrictions; I would never feel comfortable charging a guest for tea in this type of situation, nor would I question if health restrictions were why they were doing this. If someone brings their own tea into my restaurant, I have no right to ask whether it is for health reasons or for personal preference. My message to people who bring in their own tea to a restaurant: be polite about asking, and tell the server what you need with the tea so they don't bring out cream or honey unnecessarily. Also, when tipping, consider the extra service you received that was not reflected on the bill. This type of behavior is karmatically rewarding, as you will get better (anticipated) service when you go back.

[Sukie]

I have regular patrons of 12 years who only *want* hot water with lemon (wife) and hot water with orange (husband) at the end of their meal (and when the resi comes in, the bus staff is notified and they know, upon hearing their name, to cut up 1 lemon and 1 orange in wedges and place it artistically on a bread plate for presentation). Of course, they are never charged...

They also like to bring their own wine, and while we charge others corkage ($15), they, after 12 years of patronage, are *never* charged.

They also like cookies with their, um, water, and since it's not on the menu (we bake 'star' cookies to garnish the ice cream), we don't charge them for that either...

lol....writing that all out is, like, what do they pay for???

well...plenty, I guess, because there check is always good.

But to answer the original question....no, we'd never charge if you ask for hot water for your own tea bag. I could seem tacky, but really, it's no big deal and hardly anyone does this anyway.

Plus, from a servers perspective, taking care of our regulars/special requests usually goes a long way towards the tip (at least in our small, family oriented restaurant of locals/regulars).

[dividend]

Here's a couple of scenarios.

Scenario 1: I'm making the 3 hour drive back from our lake house with my brother and his freind. Halfway home, we stop for gas and a quick dinner. They insist on a fast food place that I can't stand. Said place shares a parking lot with another fast food place which is an occasional guilty pleasure of mine. I get a meal to go, and carry it to into the other restaurant to sit and eat with them.

Scenario 2: I pack a bento lunch almost every day for work. My best friend, who I carpool with, like to go to Burger King for lunch EVERY day. I like to get out of the office for my lunch hour instead of eating at my desk. So I go with him to Burger King, and sit and eat my packed lunch while he eats his value meal.

How horrendously gauche am I being in either of these situations? Do the rules of etiquette being bandied around in this thread even apply to fast food places? I mean, I would never bring my own lunch into a sit down restarant.

[Sukie]

I think a tea bag or red pepper flakes are one thing, but anything beyond that...such as water bottles, soda...or heaven forbid what you are describing...actually bringing a meal...is way beyond tacky.

It's just downright 'wrong'!

I once had a walk-in of a man, a child and a Chinese woman and the Chinese woman proceeded to produce a pizza slice that she purchased from across the street and chow down! Even worse, right over the paper plate that came from said establishment!

never, never had I ever seen someone do this...I was definately caught off guard!

I had to at least dispose of the paper plate so the absolute 'tack meter' would go down in view of the rest of the customers.

Next time (and hopefully there won't be one) I am prepared to fully dispose of it.

I should mention we are a 3 star with a funky, casual atmosphere.

[Sukie]

Another good point/idea brought up in this thread was about 'requesting' your tea, gin, spice etc. to be ordered and stocked by the establishment so you could purchase it when you come. I've had no problem doing this for our regulars and have...

Case point: the only customer I have ever known to order a Negroni...with an orange slice, not a twist, which he gives to his wife....(and always has 2...just automatically bring the second), one day began talking about Hendricks Gin. We have been ordering it for him ever since and now have a few other customers that drink it too.

Another suggestion (like with the tea) was to just bring a box of your favorite so they have the stock of it for you when you're there.

Well, my regular hot water with lemon/orange couple were in the past weekend with the family and he did just that....

When they don't bring a bottle of red (always red...always a cab) they enjoy cocktails. Her: a seabreeze in a large bubble stem glass....lots of ice and lime *on the side*. Him: Flavored vodka on the rocks. He's liked the orange and the raspberry in the past, but the last few times I've seen him he's been asking for Mango.

Lo and behold, this weekend, he asks again and when we say no, not yet, he says....ok, I've got some for you. He goes out to his car, comes back with a bottle of Finlandia Mango and says "keep this behind the bar...I'll have some tonight and then use it, sell it to your other customers"

Way cool of him

and now when we are done with this one, I'll be sure to keep it in stock for him.

[Sukie]

Do the rules of etiquette being bandied around in this thread even apply to fast food places?  I mean, I would never bring my own lunch into a sit down restarant.

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was thinking more about this this afternoon, and I feel I didn't address the 'fast food' situation, or at least acknowledge specifically how you wouldn't do this at a 'finer' restaurant.

So, I appreciate the difference you are trying to make here...and do see a 'slight' difference...and, honestly, while I would never do it, I'm am not sure what etiquette surrounds an establishment as that. Especially when nowadays some chains are connected...ie..Dunken Donuts and Basken Robbins...or Taco Bell and Pizza Hut....yes...I've seen a few like that...

So, I would be interested in what employees of such places would have to say about it...

hmmm....on the other side of the coin....I do remember once some really super regular bar customers of mine (so regular they are 'family' to the restaurant and friends now too) came in late on Sunday night and pulled out a bag of Mickey D's.

Even tho the kitchen was closed and it was now a 'bar' atmosphere, I was completely appalled and told them so. They tried to cover it up with 'well, we were hungry and we knew the kitchen was closed' and just honestly are so close with the restaurant...it's like their second home....just didn't think anything of it. But after thinking about it, they apologized, realized the faux pas, and would never do it again.

[prasantrin]

How horrendously gauche am I being in either of these situations?  Do the rules of etiquette being bandied around in this thread even apply to fast food places?  I mean, I would never bring my own lunch into a sit down restarant.

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I think it's still bad, no matter what kind of restaurant it is.

That being said, I have done it very occasionally. I bring other food into Starbucks. I hate Starbucks food (and their beverages), but it's one of the few non-smoking places where I can sit and do my work for as long as I want. So I buy some tea, and when I get hungry, I eat my non-Starbucks food surreptitiously.

Lately I've noticed more signs at restaurants (fast food and otherwise) that request customers not bring outside food onto the premises. I wonder if it's not only for business reasons, but also legal (if a customer gets sick from eating outside food on their premises, could they be held partly responsible?).

I still bring my own Sigg bottle to my favourite burger place, though. It's only got water in it, and though they sell water, it's such a waste of plastic.

[Jenni]

I can't drink black tea (gives me a headache), so when my family and I go out somewhere and think we might stop for a cuppa at some point, I always take a few of my favourite herbal teabags. My parents buy drinks off the menu (usually tea or coffee), my brother gets a soft drink and I ask for a cup of hot water. Since the rest of my family are buying things, usually we are never charged for my water, and often they offer to take my tea bag out to the kitchen so they can pour boiling water on to it, rather than leave me to dunk with warm water. I really don't see a problem with that.

On a similar note, I do sometimes take my own food out to eat whilst the rest of my family buys food. Never at proper restaurants, gosh no, but at little cafes and the like. I have good reason too, because I'm vegan and it's really hard to get definitely vegan food out at most places. Again, since the rest of my family are buying meals, I see no problem with me sitting quietly and eating my own packed lunch. As I said above, I would never do that at a proper restaurant, but if we're going out to a zoo/ museum/ park/ whatever that has a little place that serves food, or if we're in the city and everyone else wants to stop for a sandwhich or a salad, I'm quite happy to whip my own meal out. I'm only doing it so I'll be guaranteed to have something I can definitely eat.

[chuchelo]

Slightly off-topic but I'll ask anyway.

Why do so few restaurants serve good tea? Which means no tea BAGS, no mugs. Real tea pot. BOILING water. In some restaurants, the teabags are of decent quality (Harney's, for example) but sadly, even then the water is warm at best and very, very rarely boiling as it should be.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a coffee and then be served some tepid water and a teaspoon of instant coffee in a foil packet. Why are restaurants (even excellent restaurants) happy to provide mediocre or poor tea service?

[Beebs]

Slightly off-topic but I'll ask anyway.

Why do so few restaurants serve good tea? Which means no tea BAGS, no mugs. Real tea pot. BOILING water. In some restaurants, the teabags are of decent quality (Harney's, for example) but sadly, even then the water is warm at best and very, very rarely boiling as it should be.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a coffee and then be served some tepid water and a teaspoon of instant coffee in a foil packet. Why are restaurants (even excellent restaurants) happy to provide mediocre or poor tea service? 

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I used to work for a wholesale company that catered to restaurants. The answer that we frequently got whenever we tried to upsell a higher quality of tea than what they were using was that they don't do a lot of tea, they do mostly coffee, that a proper tea service requires more effort from the server, and they didn't want to spend extra cash to upgrade on something that was fine for what they do. Yup, there are plenty of arguments why they SHOULD serve better tea, but that's a whole different topic.

I've essentially given up on getting good tea at restaurants and settle for coffee instead. It's easier to find good coffee at most establishments; I'll have my tea at home.

[chuchelo]

I've essentially given up on getting good tea at restaurants and settle for coffee instead.  It's easier to find good coffee at most establishments; I'll have my tea at home.

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I don't drink coffee, so that leaves me out in the cold. And guess what? My husband has stopped ordering coffee after a meal because he feels like it's rude to drink something while I'm not drinking anything after dinner, in other words, because I don't want to drink tepid tea. I don't mind him ordering but he's just stopped. So when a restaurateur thinks it's too pricey to make good tea, he might want to think about how many coffee orders he's also losing, particularly at two-tops.

[baroness]

As a fellow coffee-shunner, I totally agree.

The tea-indifferent restaurants are losing coffee/tea AND dessert sales.

And isn't dessert one of the most profitable items on the menu?

[Tiger Black]

Since when should it be assumed that the only competent palate is in a toque?

I'm neither assuming that nor saying it's true. But the implication of "correcting" the chef stands on its own. Think how insulted you'd be if someone came into your place of business and "corrected" whatever it is you do.

There is bad food, bad coffee, bad tea, and poorly-seasoned food in many restaurants, but come on, the solution is not to bring in outside ingredients so that you can fix it yourself. The restaurant is not your home. The socially-acceptable responses are to say something and hope that something changes (it probably won't), live with it, order around the problem items, or go somewhere else.

What I was saying, but far more eloquently. If you don't like the way the chef seasons the food, then you don't like the restaurant. Don't go back. Problem solved. And I would also state that if one complains about the seasonings, one should do so politely, not just for the sake of the chef's fragile ego, but because it isn't the server's fault and misdirecting your displeasure at them accomplishes nothing except pegging yourself as a high maintenance customer.

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Yes, this. No offense to the person who originally posted about bringing in their own spices, but I literally recoiled from the screen as I read that. I think that is awfully rude. I also wonder...there aren't all that many dishes that require red pepper, are there?

[Naftal]

Slightly off-topic but I'll ask anyway.

Why do so few restaurants serve good tea? Which means no tea BAGS, no mugs. Real tea pot. BOILING water. In some restaurants, the teabags are of decent quality (Harney's, for example) but sadly, even then the water is warm at best and very, very rarely boiling as it should be.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone order a coffee and then be served some tepid water and a teaspoon of instant coffee in a foil packet. Why are restaurants (even excellent restaurants) happy to provide mediocre or poor tea service? 

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I used to work for a wholesale company that catered to restaurants. The answer that we frequently got whenever we tried to upsell a higher quality of tea than what they were using was that they don't do a lot of tea, they do mostly coffee, that a proper tea service requires more effort from the server, and they didn't want to spend extra cash to upgrade on something that was fine for what they do. Yup, there are plenty of arguments why they SHOULD serve better tea, but that's a whole different topic.

I've essentially given up on getting good tea at restaurants and settle for coffee instead. It's easier to find good coffee at most establishments; I'll have my tea at home.

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I've essentially given up on getting good tea at restaurants and settle for coffee instead.  It's easier to find good coffee at most establishments; I'll have my tea at home.

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I don't drink coffee, so that leaves me out in the cold. And guess what? My husband has stopped ordering coffee after a meal because he feels like it's rude to drink something while I'm not drinking anything after dinner, in other words, because I don't want to drink tepid tea. I don't mind him ordering but he's just stopped. So when a restaurateur thinks it's too pricey to make good tea, he might want to think about how many coffee orders he's also losing, particularly at two-tops.

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As a fellow coffee-shunner, I totally agree.

The tea-indifferent restaurants are losing coffee/tea AND dessert sales.

And isn't dessert one of the most profitable items on the menu? 

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Hello-I find these points really interesting. I think it is relevent to point out that a recent article in an on-line food magazine suggested that one of the best ways to experience a fine restaurant (on a limited budget) is to sit at the bar and order two appetizers and dessert. This relates,I think, to the dessert with coffee/tea service issue.

[andiesenji]

I posted in this topic early on about the local café where I regularly am served a carafe of near boiling water so I can use my own tea bags. I had a late lunch there yesterday and was joined by the owner and his daughter and asked them if it had ever bothered them that I brought my own tea bags.

They both exclaimed that not only did they not resent it, they had both learned some interesting things about the teas I had brought in and shared with them and they had all joined the TeaMail group and had become enthusiastic tea drinkers, especially the owner's wife, who received a gift of one of the automatic tea brewers from Adagio for Christmas.

The owner said he would like to offer premium teas but did not have enough tea drinking patrons to make it feasible to stock even a modest selection, particularly in these chancy times.

I would never presume to bring my own tea into a shop that sold teas or served other than the no-name stuff that isn't worth drinking.

I also have no problem with requesting properly heated water in places that do offer premium teas because there is no point in paying for it unless it can be brewed properly.

Servers who fail to appreciate the fact that brewing temperature is critical to the enjoyment of the product should not be serving tea.

[chuchelo]

The owner said he would like to offer premium teas but did not have enough tea drinking patrons to make it feasible to stock even a modest selection, particularly in these chancy times. 

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How does he know that he doesn't have enough tea-drinking patrons? Do people announce themselves as they cross the threshold?