Irritating Server Habits

[phaelon56]

"Anything else?"

Well yes, I've been trying to catch your eye for the last half hour to get the bill. I'd really quite like to reward the establishment for the fine meal I was provided.

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That's my #1 pet peeve and I remain baffled as to why they let so many people linger forever before even asking if we're ready for a check. More often than not they flunked Add-On Sales 101 because if I've waited 20 or 30 minutes for the check I've either lost interest in coffee or dessert or decided to go elsewhere for it.

My elderly father (84 years of age) has a pet peeve that isn't an issue for me but I can understand why it pains him. He's a strictly meat 'n potatoes guy who thinks of black pepper and ketchup as exotic condiments. When he goes out to eat all he wants is the basic food items on the plate - no more and no less.

Invariably... when he asks that there be no garnishes on the plate... i.e. no parsley sprig, no lemon wedge, no piece of curly lettuce under the fish, no little cup of tartar sauce etc..... they just can't get it right. He'll ask for this politely, explain it twice and watch while they nod their heads and say "Yes we can do that for you.".

Then the meal comes out with a piece of fried haddock on the plate - accompanied by a parsley sprig, a lemon wedge, a paper cup of tartar sauce and sometimes even a pickle wedge or a piece of lettuce. Is it that difficult?

(Note: on the occasions where he gets irritated enough to ask why they didn't accommodate his request the answer is almost always "The chef said I have to serve it this way" or "That's how it came from the kitchen").

[jaynesb]

I went to a mid-town NYC restaurant tonight. It's well-rated by one of the main restaurant guides and I'd heard good things about it. The place takes special pride in their wines and what they are doing to promote wine.

I'm hardly someone who knows a lot about wine and handling/serving wine but I do know what I've liked and found something we felt we would enjoy. The following server behavior seemed a little suspicious to me. What do you think?

1. Did not put cork right down on table. Sort of passed it along side of body after he took it off the corkscrew. For a minute, I thought he was putting it in his pocket. Then he put it on the table.

2. Each time he poured wine in our glasses, he wiped off the mouth of the bottle with his hand (yes, his bare hand!) My husband said not to make such a big deal out of it but it seemed kind of gross to me. I've seen napkins used for drips but this seemed just plain wrong not to mention gross. After I saw him do it to us, I watched him serve other tables and he had the motion down. Just lightly pass his hand around/over the bottle to catch drips. When he wasn't pouring wine, he was taking orders, entering then on the computer, and offering to grate cheese, etc.

After I got sufficiently bothered, I moved the bottle to a place where we could do our own pouring.

Am I over-reacting or should I have said something to someone at the restaurant?

jayne

[Ted Fairhead]

My favorite server story was when my wife and I were returning from a weekend at the beach. We stopped at a fast food joint because that was all there was on route 50 back to Virginia at that time, and we were extremely tired.

It was a "Sambo's", (I believe they changed the name as being grossly un-PC) which had an open kitchen. We ordered sandwiches from the slick plastic laminated menu with pictures of each of the offerings.

When it was prepared it was passed to a kid who was obviously brand new to this establishment. I heard him questioning another staff member how the plate should look and they replied, "Just look at the picture!"

He studied the menu then moved thing around on the plates and as a final touch, BIT OFF a couple of pieces of parsley from a large bunch and proudly garnished the sandwiches!

[Busboy]

I went to a mid-town NYC restaurant tonight. It's well-rated by one of the main restaurant guides and I'd heard good things about it. The place takes special pride in their wines and what they are doing to promote wine.

I'm hardly someone who knows a lot about wine and handling/serving wine but I do know what I've liked and found something we felt we would enjoy. The following server behavior seemed a little suspicious to me. What do you think?

1. Did not put cork right down on table. Sort of passed it along side of body after he took it off the corkscrew. For a minute, I thought he was putting it in his pocket. Then he put it on the table.

2. Each time he poured wine in our glasses, he wiped off the mouth of the bottle with his hand (yes, his bare hand!) My husband said not to make such a big deal out of it but it seemed kind of gross to me. I've seen napkins used for drips but this seemed just plain wrong not to mention gross. After I saw him do it to us, I watched him serve other tables and he had the motion down. Just lightly pass his hand around/over the bottle to catch drips. When he wasn't pouring wine, he was taking orders, entering then on the computer, and offering to grate cheese, etc.

After I got sufficiently bothered, I moved the bottle to a place where we could do our own pouring.

Am I over-reacting or should I have said something to someone at the restaurant?

jayne

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I'm not sure what you mean by "suspicious" unless you're suspicious that the waiter didn't know what he was doing. The cork thing is insignificant; though a traditional part of wine service it doesn't really reveal anything (unless you think they're serving bootleg Burgundy and you want to check the cork's stamp) and can safely be glossed over. Wiping the bottle with a bare hand, however, is gross. You would have been withing your rights to mention something about that.

[rockandroller]

Yeah, that bare hand action is really gross and you should have said something to the manager. I would write them a letter.

[jaynesb]

I went to a mid-town NYC restaurant tonight. It's well-rated by one of the main restaurant guides and I'd heard good things about it. The place takes special pride in their wines and what they are doing to promote wine.

I'm hardly someone who knows a lot about wine and handling/serving wine but I do know what I've liked and found something we felt we would enjoy. The following server behavior seemed a little suspicious to me. What do you think?

1. Did not put cork right down on table. Sort of passed it along side of body after he took it off the corkscrew. For a minute, I thought he was putting it in his pocket. Then he put it on the table.

2. Each time he poured wine in our glasses, he wiped off the mouth of the bottle with his hand (yes, his bare hand!) My husband said not to make such a big deal out of it but it seemed kind of gross to me. I've seen napkins used for drips but this seemed just plain wrong not to mention gross. After I saw him do it to us, I watched him serve other tables and he had the motion down. Just lightly pass his hand around/over the bottle to catch drips. When he wasn't pouring wine, he was taking orders, entering then on the computer, and offering to grate cheese, etc.

After I got sufficiently bothered, I moved the bottle to a place where we could do our own pouring.

Am I over-reacting or should I have said something to someone at the restaurant?

jayne

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I'm not sure what you mean by "suspicious" unless you're suspicious that the waiter didn't know what he was doing. The cork thing is insignificant; though a traditional part of wine service it doesn't really reveal anything (unless you think they're serving bootleg Burgundy and you want to check the cork's stamp) and can safely be glossed over. Wiping the bottle with a bare hand, however, is gross. You would have been withing your rights to mention something about that.

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Thanks for the reply. I'm thinking of giving the restaurant a call today about it. It just seemed so gross to me. I'm glad to hear that it wasn't some kind of acceptable, yet rustic, way of wiping the bottle.

jayne

[LittleChef22]

Calling me "dude".

Sitting down at the table when taking my order. (This usually only happens when I am dining alone)

Avoiding eye contact. (If you are that shy, why are you in a person-oriented job?)

Bringing out your salad/starter and then bringing out your entree a minute later. Or worse, waiting forever to get your salad and the waiter/waitress brings them both out together.

The check comes to $14.59. You put a $20 in the check book. The server returns with a $5 bill and $0.41 in change. Ummm ... you'd better hope I have some $1 bills in my wallet or you're getting a $0.41 tip.

Just a few to get started. 

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I agree with a lot of those. I hate it when you are at a nice place and they bring your main course out too soon. The whole point is to enjoy the atmosphere.. I don't want to be rushed. I also hate when they are ALWAYS around and don't let you talk to the person you're with.

[Norm357]

My favorite server story was when my wife and I were returning from a weekend at the beach.  We stopped at a fast food joint because that was all there was on route 50 back to Virginia at that time, and we were extremely tired.

It was a "Sambo's", (I believe they changed the name as being grossly un-PC) which had an open kitchen.  We ordered sandwiches from the slick plastic laminated menu with pictures of each of the offerings.

When it was prepared it was passed to a kid who was obviously brand new to this establishment.  I heard him questioning another staff member how the plate should look and they replied, "Just look at the picture!"

He studied the menu then moved thing around on the plates and as a final touch, BIT OFF  a couple of pieces of parsley from a large bunch and proudly garnished the sandwiches!

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I loved the Sambos in Panama City Fl when I was a kid. The place is now a Howard Johnsons and just not the same.

[artemisanne]

What this thread seems to be pointing out is that bad service is everywhere, and a lot of us are really turned off by the cutesy overly-familiar stuff that is becoming more prevalent all the time.  What we really want is professional service.

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My feelings exactly.

Do not SIT DOWN at my table!

Do NOT interrupt the story, conversation, argument! or lament.

Do NOT ASK "How does it taste?"

[turkeybone]

Do NOT ASK "How does it taste?"

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Not picking on you, but this brings up a question. What is an acceptable way to say "hey Im back to check and make sure theres no rusty nails in your food"? It seems like many ways of presenting oneself for the "check up" are either too narrow or too broad, or somehow too informal. There has to be some universal standard that we can all agree on?

[jsmith]

Do NOT ASK "How does it taste?"

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Not picking on you, but this brings up a question. What is an acceptable way to say "hey Im back to check and make sure theres no rusty nails in your food"? It seems like many ways of presenting oneself for the "check up" are either too narrow or too broad, or somehow too informal. There has to be some universal standard that we can all agree on?

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Is everything ok? I don't get bothered by "How does it taste?" either, so maybe this one is bad as well.

[rockandroller]

I've never heard or used "how does it taste" though I have heard the "suggested spin" line, "Is everything tasting great for you?" which I think is stupid, but it doesn't really bother me. I usually just asked "How is everything?" Or, if it was a nicer place or seemed a more upscale table, "Is everything to your liking?"

[cax77uk]

It's seems to me that throughout these posts there is one common denominator, and that is servers who are incapable of reading there guests.

Yes sometimes it is ok to sit with guests.

Yes sometimes it is ok to clear some plates before others.

The key is reading your guests when they arrive and asking the right questions to be able to ascertain and exceed their needs.

I do not know any large franchise that does not encourage their foh employees to read their guests. it all comes down to poor man management.

Hospitality is not rocket science and there are no definitive rights or wrongs. It is about tailoring the service to the guests needs.

End rant

RM

[Susie Q]

What this thread seems to be pointing out is that bad service is everywhere, and a lot of us are really turned off by the cutesy overly-familiar stuff that is becoming more prevalent all the time.   What we really want is professional service.

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My feelings exactly.

Do not SIT DOWN at my table!

Do NOT interrupt the story, conversation, argument! or lament.

Do NOT ASK "How does it taste?"

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or ask "Are you still working on that?"

[Jaymes]

1. please do not touch the rim of my glass ..there is so much space on most glasses that there is no excuse for touching a spot where my mouth goes! It makes no sense to do this and I have seen even "upscale" servers do this with out a thought.

I understand the faux pas about touching rims and plates, etc, but if it's really that big a deal how can you deal with the obvious issues of cooks and chefs touching your food (probably repeatedly) with their bare hands? Is it OK because it is out of sight/out of mind, or OK because it's their job and they are seemingly going to be more concerned with sanitation?

I mean, yeah, it's kind of gross, but really, what do you think you will "catch" if you drink from a fingered glass? I mean, you ever seen the "clean" water that comes out of the dishwasher sometimes? It's scary at some restaurants.

Not trying to pick on you, and I'm not trying to justify behavior of bad servers, just seems weird to me...

Well, it doesn't seem "weird" to me.

I sit there and watch the servers bussing other tables and they pick up all the used dirty glasses at all the other tables by sticking their hands down into the glasses. They handle used plates and silverware with bits of food clinging to them. And then they pick up the glass I'm supposed to use and set it down in front of me. Whatever you call it, it's lazy, dirty, nasty, careless, thoughtless, whatever, not to mention completely unnecessary to handle my glass by the rim.

Obviously I know that the cooks in the BOH are handling the food. I can certainly hope that they wash their hands frequently. And even if they haven't, it's highly unlikely they've handled used glasses, silverware, plates, etc., from the last thirty people they've waited on.

And as to what I think I might "catch" if I "drink from a fingered glass," I think that if the person that just left the table next to mine had a really bad cold and if my server picked up his glass by sticking her fingers down into it, or grabbed the used silverware and plates and picked up the napkin that the customer just blew his nose into and THEN "fingers my glass," I think I might catch a miserable snotty cold.

I mean, just handle my glass down toward the bottom. Is that really too much to ask?

Jeeze.

Edited September 11, 2007 by Jaymes (log)

[SundaySous]

1. please do not touch the rim of my glass ..there is so much space on most glasses that there is no excuse for touching a spot where my mouth goes! It makes no sense to do this and I have seen even "upscale" servers do this with out a thought.

I understand the faux pas about touching rims and plates, etc, but if it's really that big a deal how can you deal with the obvious issues of cooks and chefs touching your food (probably repeatedly) with their bare hands? Is it OK because it is out of sight/out of mind, or OK because it's their job and they are seemingly going to be more concerned with sanitation?

I mean, yeah, it's kind of gross, but really, what do you think you will "catch" if you drink from a fingered glass? I mean, you ever seen the "clean" water that comes out of the dishwasher sometimes? It's scary at some restaurants.

Not trying to pick on you, and I'm not trying to justify behavior of bad servers, just seems weird to me...

Well, it doesn't seem "weird" to me.

I sit there and watch the servers bussing other tables and they pick up all the used dirty glasses at all the other tables by sticking their hands down into the glasses. They handle used plates and silverware with bits of food clinging to them. And then they pick up the glass I'm supposed to use and set it down in front of me. Whatever you call it, it's lazy, dirty, nasty, careless, thoughtless, whatever, not to mention completely unnecessary to handle my glass by the rim.

Obviously I know that the cooks in the BOH are handling the food. I can certainly hope that they wash their hands frequently. And even if they haven't, it's highly unlikely they've handled used glasses, silverware, plates, etc., from the last thirty people they've waited on.

And as to what I think I might "catch" if I "drink from a fingered glass," I think that if the person that just left the table next to mine had a really bad cold and if my server picked up his glass by sticking her fingers down into it, or grabbed the used silverware and plates and picked up the napkin that the customer just blew his nose into and THEN "fingers my glass," I think I might catch a miserable snotty cold.

I mean, just handle my glass down toward the bottom. Is that really too much to ask?

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Waiting tables it used to drive me nuts when the other servers would throw my bleach rag back into the bucket of bleach water. I think many of them thought those rags were only used to clean your station before you went home.

[gfweb]

1.

I mean, just handle my glass down toward the bottom. Is that really too much to ask?

Jeeze.

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Completely agree!

[Shannon_Elise]

I bartended at a smallish Cali-Mex? style and when we were slow or I was bored I would take tables. (Full disclosure. I'm a much better bartender than a server). But I would try and not do everything that pissed me off as a customer. Especially the "do you need change?". I just said "I'll be right back with your change." Most people, if they didn't need change would say "Oh, I don't need any. Thank you."

I had to do the same script that everyone else did. Though if the manager was goofing off in the back office I didn't follow it. We were supposed to say "Hi! My name is Shannon and I'll be taking care of you today. Have you ever dined here before?" Take care? It's a restaurant, not a hospital. Okay, so I rarely introduced myself either. Honestly, I never really care what a server's name is (different if its the bartender as I am in much closer proximity to them for the period I am eating/mostly drinking) and I refuse to yell "Bartender!"

I much prefer bartending to serving. I never worked as a server before bartending though. So I have a lot more pet peeves as a bartender to other bartenders than I do to servers. Mostly because when I go out, I sit at the bar if they serve food there.

My pet peeves:

Not washing hands in the bathroom

Grabbing the glass by the rim

Water/pop glass remaining empty for an EXTENDED period of time

And I usually tip wayyyyy too much because I feel for them. Unless they were rude. There is no excuse for being rude or snotty.

[prasantrin]

Last Night I ate at a popular, and highly regarded and reviewed sushi restaurant outside Chicago.  It wasnt overly busy, but The service, was extremly lacking.  Now I dont know what it is, but 9 times outta 10 when I go to a sushi joint, the service is bad.  It doesnt matter the caliber of the restaurant either, they all seam to be the same.  One of my pet peeves is when Dishes come out to the table, one at a time, so you dont wanna be rude to your guests and start eating until they all have theyre food.  Last night I dined with 4 friends, and it took 5 minutes for the dishes to "trickle" out to the table, so I recieved my sushi first, while they patiently waited.  Also, the appetizers came, 10 minutes after the entrees, and one of the rolls was not what I ordered.  This is a very highly regarded establishment, and the sushi was undoubtedly phenominal, but the service was horrid.  Does anyone find that when they eat at sushi restaurants as well, that the entrees are staggered in coming out, and the service extremly lacking?  or is this just me?

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Japanese restaurants (in Japan) often serve that way. I don't think it's considered rude in Japan. They want you to eat each dish as it's prepared (at its freshest), regardless of whether everyone has their food or not.

My pet peeve is when the waitstaff keeps checking their watches, as though we are taking up too much of their prime-time space (i.e. lowering their tips/hour). That happened to me recently at Frontera Grill in Chicago, and I was unimpressed. I left a better tip than the guy deserved (to help make up for the slower turnover of our table), but I was still pissed off.

[AdamD]

This didn't annoy me, but I found it very unusual.

I was at some chain like Applebee's or something with 3 others and the server actually squatted down near the table and was below our eye level. (Odd?)  Then he took our orders without writing anything down. Everything came out just right when the food was delivered.

Unusual, huh?

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This is a technique that is taught to servers as a way to get bigger and better tips. By getting down on the customers level you are supposed to be connecting with them etc. Once someone feels connected they will have a harder time leaving a crappy tip hence they get better tips. Typically it works best where the table or booth arent overly high, so they are more or less at eye level with you.

Edited September 22, 2007 by AdamD (log)

[Busboy]

Last Night I ate at a popular, and highly regarded and reviewed sushi restaurant outside Chicago.  It wasnt overly busy, but The service, was extremly lacking.  Now I dont know what it is, but 9 times outta 10 when I go to a sushi joint, the service is bad.  It doesnt matter the caliber of the restaurant either, they all seam to be the same.  One of my pet peeves is when Dishes come out to the table, one at a time, so you dont wanna be rude to your guests and start eating until they all have theyre food.  Last night I dined with 4 friends, and it took 5 minutes for the dishes to "trickle" out to the table, so I recieved my sushi first, while they patiently waited.  Also, the appetizers came, 10 minutes after the entrees, and one of the rolls was not what I ordered.  This is a very highly regarded establishment, and the sushi was undoubtedly phenominal, but the service was horrid.  Does anyone find that when they eat at sushi restaurants as well, that the entrees are staggered in coming out, and the service extremly lacking?  or is this just me?

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Japanese restaurants (in Japan) often serve that way. I don't think it's considered rude in Japan. They want you to eat each dish as it's prepared (at its freshest), regardless of whether everyone has their food or not.

My pet peeve is when the waitstaff keeps checking their watches, as though we are taking up too much of their prime-time space (i.e. lowering their tips/hour). That happened to me recently at Frontera Grill in Chicago, and I was unimpressed. I left a better tip than the guy deserved (to help make up for the slower turnover of our table), but I was still pissed off.

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See, I don't get this. Why would you tip more to a waiter who was rude to you (and I'm assuming you're reportage is correct and the guy wasn't just innocently checking to see if it was time to take his asthma medication or something)? Tips should encourage better service, not reward worse service.

[prasantrin]

See, I don't get this.  Why would you tip more to a waiter who was rude to you (and I'm assuming you're reportage is correct and the guy wasn't just innocently checking to see if it was time to take his asthma medication or something)?  Tips should encourage better service, not reward worse service.

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He did it three times on three different table checks. He must have to take his medication fairly often if it was for that reason...

It was my understanding, that at least in the US, you tip regardless of the service. And if there there is a problem, then you bring it up with the management. I would have talked to the management at that time, but I didn't want to do it in front of our guest. Then I had planned to write a letter, but I just haven't gotten around to it (I haven't even unpacked since coming back to Japan, and that was 3 weeks ago).

[Busboy]

See, I don't get this.  Why would you tip more to a waiter who was rude to you (and I'm assuming you're reportage is correct and the guy wasn't just innocently checking to see if it was time to take his asthma medication or something)?  Tips should encourage better service, not reward worse service.

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He did it three times on three different table checks. He must have to take his medication fairly often if it was for that reason...

It was my understanding, that at least in the US, you tip regardless of the service. And if there there is a problem, then you bring it up with the management. I would have talked to the management at that time, but I didn't want to do it in front of our guest. Then I had planned to write a letter, but I just haven't gotten around to it (I haven't even unpacked since coming back to Japan, and that was 3 weeks ago).

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Ahhhh -- that explains it.

Tipping is a hotly debated issue -- here's one topic -- but whatever your baseline percentage, it's certainly acceptable to adjust downwards for sub-par service (and only fair to adjust upward for exceptional service). Personally, I wouldn't stiff a waiter just for ostentatiously checking his watch, but I'd knock a few bucks off his tip.

Actually, to be honest, after the third check and the fourth glass of wine, I'd probably say something snotty like "are we keeping you out late?" and play it by ear from there.

[phlox]

What this thread seems to be pointing out is that bad service is everywhere, and a lot of us are really turned off by the cutesy overly-familiar stuff that is becoming more prevalent all the time.   What we really want is professional service.

←

My feelings exactly.

Do not SIT DOWN at my table!

Do NOT interrupt the story, conversation, argument! or lament.

Do NOT ASK "How does it taste?"

←

or ask "Are you still working on that?"

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HATE!

When I go to clear a table, I say ONE THING: "May I clear?"

That's IT. Even worse than 'are you still working on that?' is, 'still picking?' Crazymaking.

[jace]

Starters like soup or salad with no utensils. (this usually happens when I eat at the bar)

Serving a course when I've gone to smoke.

Dirty or cracked wine glasses or plates.

Forgetting proper condiments.

Telling me that what I want on the menu isn't available. Somethings I understand, like they had to 86 the fish special. But when I want a glass of orange juice, I don't give a damn what time it is, I want fucking orange juice!!!

These are just when I go to dine. I have a whole list of things that irritate me as a professional cook that servers have a bad habit of doing.

The worst is:

"Do you have table 46 working?"

"No. Did you fire it?"

"No. I just thought....." (insert excuse here)

"We don't fire ANYTHING without a FIRE TICKET!!!!!"

Do FOH cats think us cats on the line are psychic? WTF?! DO YOUR JOB!!!!!

One thing always puts a smile on my face though. I love it when servers cut themselves cutting lemons or bread or something retarded like that. Shows how inept they are at even the most mundane of tasks.

Yeah, I'm a dick.....................