liuzhou

That ain't gonna happen. I may have low standards, but I have standards.

I'm going to take a wild guess and say it means 'cloves - two of', as opposed to any other number or amount of pre-ground cloves.

Clearly a black hole.

Congratulations are due to Fuchsia Dunlop, whose "Food of Sichuan" has just been published in a Chinese language version - a rare honour here. I've ordered a couple of copies as gifts for local friends who loved the Engish version, but struggled with some language issues. 《川菜》， 中信出版社。

For what it's worth, McD's has been messing around with Oreos for years (I see the ads in the store windows), but I've never seen this application. Spam is not common here - I've only ever seen it in one store, once upon a time. To my great amusement the Chinese name is pronounced Shi-bang!

But I have never been inside a McDonald's and I am certainly not a member.

Bacon and egg ramen. With spinach and chilli.

I use a wok scoop. I'd say the egg is around 75% cooked, but not fully. Next time, I'll take photograph.

I have absolutely no objection to "broke down" and never mentioned it. I railed against unnecessary pronouns. There is a difference between breaking down a chicken and breaking a chicken!

Why not?

There are several ways to transliterate Chinese. I always use Pinyin, the offical Chinese transliteration as accepted by the United Nations, US Government, International Standards Organisation etc. You seem to add a number of Japanese and South-East Asian ingredients (ponzu, sweet chilli sauce, fish sauce, teriyaki) which is fine, but this is about Chinese food. Laoganma doesn't mean anything like Angry Lady. Laoganma means Godmother.

Yes! The Chinese words for golden and yellow are often used together. It describes the egg.

I certainly cook the eggs first, but stop when they are still relatively liquid, remove them, then add them back at the last minute. For a simple egg fried rice I would then fry the aromatics (garlic, ginger and in my case chilli) then add the rice. Only when I deem the rice to be done, do I reintroduce the egg and perhaps scallions or chives and some sesame oil and immediately take off the heat. The egg and alliums cook in the residual heat.

I only buy Thai rice, but restaurants and my friends and neighbours use what I'd describe as medium to long grain.

11 - Chinese Fried Rice contains Eggs, Soy Sauce and Oyster Sauce Well, except when they don't, which is often. Egg Fried Rice (蛋炒饭 - dàn chǎo fàn) is basically fried rice with egg as the protein. Shrimp Fried Rice (虾子炒饭 xiā zǐ chǎo fàn) is basically fried rice with shrimp as the protein. Chicken Fried Rice (鸡炒饭 - jī chǎo fàn) is basically fried rice with chicken as the protein. Etc. The latter two are unusual. There is no chicken in the shrimp fried rice and no egg in the chicken fried rice. One protein is normal. Normally, the egg fried rice is the only one to contain egg. It is the most popular, especially among home cooks. It doesn't usually contain soy sauce. Same for the others. I've never heard of oyster sauce in fried rice until, wanting to do some research, I looked for fried rice recipes on YouTube. What a mess they are! The worst was the guy who fried egg for about five minutes, added rice and pre-cooked shrimp and continued frying for about 20 minutes, then threw in a pint of soy sauce and a bottle of oyster sauce. It must have been inedible. Egg fried rice is nearly always served as a very simple, cheap and filling dish in its own right and not as an accompaniment to other dishes like it's an alternative to steamed rice. It is available in many smaller restaurants, college and factory canteens, etc. Less often in more formal restaurants. More upmarket restaurants will usually offer Yangzhou Fried Rice (扬州炒饭 - yáng zhōu chǎo fàn), a more luxurious dish originating in the city of Yangzhou in eastern China's Jiangsu Province, although there are also those who claim it's from Guangdong, home of Cantonese cuisine. Yangzhou fried rice normally contains ham, preferably Jinhua ham (金华火腿 - jīn huá huǒ tuǐ) from neighbouring Zhejiang Province, although cheaper places and more distant locations often substitute barbecued pork (char siu) or Chinese sausages. In addition, it will have more vegetables than egg fried rice which often only has scallions. Shrimp or other seafood items are often featured with the ham, but rarely eggs. Never soy sauce and oyster sauce is unthinkable! I have often been served Yangzhou fried rice at banquets, but it comes as a prized dish. You don't go slapping your sweet and sour dayglo pork all over it! There is a recipe here in Recipe Gullet. Many western restaurants seem to see fried rice as a dumping ground for any ingredient they have too much of. I'm happy to do this at home for myself, but it is not what you will normally find in Chinese restaurants or most family homes. Fried rice is treated with respect.

鲜肉香菇包子 Pork and Shiitake Baozi (steamed buns), with chopped chilli dip. It may look like I was mean with the dip, but that stuff is potent.

All my local restaurants are Chinese. I can't go to them all! But I'm all for supporting local businesses and the Chinese catering industry in western countries has been hit harder than most.

A cooker is a machine on which a cook cooks. It would help if you told us what you can cook? Can you boil an egg? Rice? What do you eat? Who cooks for you now? Can you ask them how to cook at least one dish?

To wash down your Jamón Ibérico, obviously!

Although I do have a dedicated meat mallet with the spiky metal hitting surface, I haven't unpacked it since I moved home four years ago. Instead, I use this rubber mallet which wasn't designed for food use. I bought it in a hardware store. It does the job without tearing the meat.

I want this now! No chance!

Not a full appliance, but I've never used that attachment on the right. Supposedly for peeling garlic. I only use single headed garlic the skin of which just falls off if you so much as give it a sideways glance.