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Smackdown 28: Culinary Limericks Revisited

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<table><tr><td valign="top" width="195"><img align="left" src="http://egullet.com/imgs/golden_gully.gif" width="185" height="290" hspace="5"></td><td>Thanks to all who dropped down the rabbit hole and entered the powerful alternate universe called Limerickland. The entries were so uniformly good that I think that this competition will become an annual event.

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Third Prize: Carrot Top, who combined the culinary and concupiscent:

<blockquote>There once was a poulterer from France

Who wore goose feathers rather than pants

Each morning he woke

And as the dawn broke

He engaged all his geese in a dance.

His concept was "Poulet Heureux"

(Gastronomic confreres: furieux!)

But his roasts were so succulent

They brought all un-buckle-ment

"Delicious!" they cried, curieux.

One chill morn he suffered priapsis

While roasting a fat goose while capless

His feathers they crisped

No more joyous bliss!

Tout fini! Et son nom est "hapless."

<div align="center">* * *</div></blockquote>

Second Prize: moosnsgrl. This is an especially elegant entry:

<blockquote>To find a good wintertime melon

Would require the skills of Magellan

How much easier t'would be

To eat seasonally

And just buy what the farmers are sellin'.

<div align="center">* * *</div></blockquote>

And finally, First Prize: Simon_S, the silver-tongued Irish organist.

<blockquote>This Paddy’s learned much from eGullet:

Like “What’s rouget?” Oh, simply red mullet!

As an offer of thanks

Here’s a class for the Yanks

About Guinness and how you should pull it.

There’s a rule that you must take to heart:

Tilt the glass, pour the draught, but leave part.

Please don’t finish the fill

Till all’s settled and still,

That’s the secret behind the “black art”.

<div align="center">* * *</div></blockquote>

Here are you well-earned Golden Gulleys. Revel in them!

<div align="center">* * *</div>

(There are less virtual but equally fabulous prizes for winning the Smackdown; they'll be on their way shortly.)

<div align="center">+ + +</div>

To catch up on your reading, follow the link to Smackdowns Past. Pour yourself another cup of coffee. Heck, bring on the bonbons, brik or bacon -- it’s dangerous to read on an empty stomach.</td></tr></table>

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A wannabe named moosnsqrl

Is surely the luckiest girl

For with Carrot Top and Simon

She enjoyed some rhymin'

And for it was given a pearl.

Thanks. I am not worthy (clearly, from the preceding lines).

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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What a fantastic way to start a rainy Friday morning.

Thanks to all, I feel truly honoured. To celebrate my first (and most probably last) Golden Gully, I think I'll take him out to dinner. I hope he can hold his liquor!!


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This HAS been fun!!! I've thoroughly enjoyed all the poetry, the ideas, the thoughts brought to life.

Some have been perfect of meter and rhyme, some light and refreshing, and a few have sent me vaporing away for my smelling salts and best cambric hanky.

But several have had such scan and such flow, along with a witty, completed story, presented rounded and full---plot and purpose just five lines in the telling.

I raise my second-in-my-life glass of Guinness to all participants, and salute the three winners who carried the day.

One BIG applau from the Heartland!!

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Someone please stop me!

There was an old man from Nantucket

Who gathered bivalves in a bucket

When he wanted to eat

He grabbed a Wellfleet

And then he proceeded to shuck it.

Judy Jones aka "moosnsqrl"

Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly.

M.F.K. Fisher

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I'm very late to this thread...

But it's great to see that literary geniuses still roam the the green pastures of Ireland. And as someone who worked in Guinness years ago, it is so nice to read such a succinct ode to the perfect pint.

Maith an buachaill, Simon!

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