What would mythical and extinct animals taste like

[Kent Wang]

I've often wondered what dragon would taste like, probably similar to crocodile. Unicorn, probably similar to horse. Would you eat them if you had the oppurtunity? I know I would.

What about angels? They're not humans so it's not cannibalism and they'd certainly be disease free. There is a joke told by a Frenchman in Apocalypse Now (Redux) that goes:

Frenchman 1: "What's that flying in the air?"

Frenchman 2: "An angel."

Frenchman 1: "Let's eat it!"

I'd also love to go back in time and try some dinosaurs, especially the brontosaurus ribs from The Flintstones.

[jackal10]

Like chicken, of course...

[Adam Balic]

Unicorn, probably similar to horse.

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According to Marco Polo, Unicorn most likely tasted exactly the same as the sumatran rhinoceros

"They have wild elephants and plenty of unicorns, which are scarcely smaller than elephants. They have the hair of a buffalo and feet like an elephant’s. They have a single large, black horn in the middle of the forehead. They do not attack with their horn, but only with their tongue and their knees; for their tongues are furnished with long, sharp spines, so that when they want to do any harm to anyone they first crush him by kneeling upon him and then lacerate him with their tongues."

Closer to Europe, it most like tasted like Giant Sable Antelope or Oryx.

[anzu]

Like chicken, of course...

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According to this site, the dodo was a distant relative of the pigeon.

So dodo may well have tasted more like pigeon than like chicken.

[Adam Balic]

Since one of the Dutch words for them was "walghvogel" ('disgusting bird') it seems unlikely that they tasted very good.

[moosnsqrl]

I saw a made-for-TV movie years ago wherein the bad guys were a secret society of the very wealthy who paid scandalous sums of money to poachers to hunt endangered species, then met periodically to dine on them. They were particularly proud to consume the absolute last known anything. Needless to say, the good guys caught them but not before they had annihilated several species.

Not that I think you're a "bad guy" for posing the question or wondering, mind you.

[sandercohan]

Hmm...

I would imagine that Tyrannosaurus or Dragon would taste like really gamy duck. It might work out. To make a confit, you'd have to use a swimming pool, but as long as we're talking hypotheticals....

I agree, Unicorn would probably taste like horse, but with the added effect of being a really awesome cold remedy or something.

I've got a 20-sided die around here somewhere....

sander

[Pontormo]

What about angels?

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Angels don't have bodies.

No meat on those bones and no bones, so it would be impossible to eat them.

Cf. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274), Summa Theologiae, First Part, "Treatise on the Angels," Question 50: Of the Substance of the Angels Absolutely Considered (In Five Articles)

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As for dragons, who says they're mythical?

They're very, very real.

Edited March 7, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[Pontormo]

I saw a made-for-TV movie years ago wherein the bad guys were a secret society of the very wealthy who paid scandalous sums of money to poachers to hunt endangered species, then met periodically to dine on them. 

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Sounds like it was based in part on a feature film, The Freshman, starring Matthew Broderick (sp?) and Marlon Brando. Very funny.

Edited March 7, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[k43]

(1) Solyent Green

(2) An archaeologist who tasted a long-frozen wolly mammoth said it tasted like mud.

(3) Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary:

ICHOR, n. A fluid that serves the gods and goddesses in place of blood.

Fair Venus, speared by Diomed,

Restrained the raging chief and said:

"Behold, rash mortal, whom you've bled –

Your soul's stained white with ichorshed!"

[srhcb]

What about angels?

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Angels don't have bodies.

No meat on those bones and no bones, so it would be impossible to eat them.

[

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Well I think angels would be positively ethereal!

SB (although probably not very substantial)

[Patrick S]

What about angels?

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Angels don't have bodies.

No meat on those bones and no bones, so it would be impossible to eat them.

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Well, the scriptures often seem a little inconsistent on this point. Certainly there would seem to be instances, like in Genesis 6, where angels appear to be doing things, like impregnating earthly women, that would seem to require a body, or are actually described as having ordinary-appearing bodies and being mistaken as normal people. I dunno.

[srhcb]

How about angels deep fried on a stick?

SB (three threads, one answer)

[Pontormo]

Shame on you!

P.S. If they can't dance on the head of a pin, how you gonna get them on a stick?!

Edited March 7, 2006 by Pontormo (log)

[Bill Miller]

I think the brontasaurus might taste the best--maybe like pork, due to its diet. You are what you eat. Some say T-Rex is a close relative of the bird, so it might taste like a hawk or an eagle (flesh eating), or maybe a carrion--how disgusting!

[srhcb]

Shame on you!

P.S.  If (angels) can't dance on the head of a pin, how you gonna get them on a stick?!

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Deep Fried Angels on a Stick (serves 4)

Mice in Place

4 Sticks

1 Qt Angels

2 Eggs well beaten

2 Cups Panko Crumbs

Salt & Pepper to taste

Oil for Deep Frying

Dip Stick in Egg, then in Angels, then into Panko Crumbs seasoned to taste

Repeat procedure until approximately 1 Cup of Angels adhere to the Stick

Repeat with remaining 3 Sticks

Deep fry until golden brown

SB (They're Empyreal!)

[TongoRad]

I saw a made-for-TV movie years ago wherein the bad guys were a secret society of the very wealthy who paid scandalous sums of money to poachers to hunt endangered species, then met periodically to dine on them. 

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Sounds like it was based in part on a feature film, The Freshman, starring Matthew Broderick (sp?) and Marlon Brando. Very funny.

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Awesome flick. Seeing Bert Parks sing "Maggie's Farm" is one of the most brutally funny things I have ever seen.

Anyway- I hear that an esquilax tastes like rabbit

[mizducky]

There's a whole Japanese anime/manga series about the dire consequences of eating a mermaid. It's been a long time since I saw any part of it, but IIRC the stories revolve around a young man who inadvertently becomes immortal from eating mermaid flesh, and then spends the next several hundred years as a lonely wanderer, seeking some way to make himself normal again. I have no memory of what, if anything, was said of the flesh's flavor. Myself, I suspect it would taste a bit fishy.

[zilla369]

How about Sea-Monkeys? Maybe we could alginate them together into SeaMonkeySteaks. I think I'd like that. I've been mad ever since they wound up not wearing cute little crowns in my fish tank. And, come to think of it - those lazy bastards never did build that cool underwater civilization (as was depicted in the ad.)

But in the end I imagine they'd taste much like brine shrimp *ho hum*

[mike_r]

I've got a 20-sided die around here somewhere....

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whew, thought i was the only one...think i should start a thread on what our d&d characters have eaten in games?

(j/k. that's horrifyingly nerdy. im sorry.)

anyway...what about medusa's snakes, done up like unagi?

i'd like to try some ankylosaurus flank, grilled, or maybe the legs braised for a week in some kind of cretaceous wine...those guys didn't move around a whole lot, so they're bound to have some fatty goodness going on...

[Lilija]

What no recipes for angel's wings? Surely they'd take nicely to a teryaki or miso glaze... They *must* have wings...and I bet they're tender as hell.

Edit: I could populate an entire thread, myself, on the stuff my chars have eaten in D&D, and various other Role Playing Games. I'm *that* nerdy.

Edited March 8, 2006 by Lilija (log)

[Terrasanct]

What about phoenix? If you wait long enough, it cooks itself!

[srhcb]

Got a recipe for Heffalump?

SB (serve with plenty of honey!)

[racheld]

...eating a mermaid.  Myself, I suspect it would taste a bit fishy.

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Maybe only from the waist down...uppers maybe chicken (of the sea?).

Unicorns taste of hope and moonbeams; dodos, of the short clumsy dreams of what might have been, and T-Rex of ancient leather, much like the smell of money from an old man's wallet.

The minotaur probably had the flavor of already-peppered steak, tough and fiercely sinewed, running redly warm even before the sizzle. There'd be a mouthfeel of jubilant combat, with an aftertaste of puzzlement and isolation.

Dragons, and there do indeed be, have the ancient taste-echoes of flight and fight, with the oldpenny tang of tarnishing armor, the sense-memory of valorous knightflesh and the terrified, fleeting breath of sacrificial maidens. The whole dragon-slaying thing has been carried out in an erroneous manner for far too long. What knighthood needed was a slew (the number, not the past tense) of those pet-catcher sticks with the little noose on the end...snagged snugly around the scaly neck, the resulting backfire would provide a barbecue effect sufficient to char-broil the beast from the inside out. A little salt, some potato salad, and the neighboring kingdoms could troop over with frisbees and sixpacks of mead.

And Nessie, that Grand Old Dame of the lake, would be fishy and have the lingering aftertaste of plaid and sheepdip.

Fairies, though not even remotely considered to be either mythical, extinct, nor edible, DO have the loveliest scents. Their presence is heralded by the aroma of baking cookies, sparks and sunshine, with a bit of clover and a finish of green silence.

And the smaller fire-dragons are very peppery and crunchy, kind of like armadillo nachos.

Edited March 9, 2006 by racheld (log)

[Jensen]

(2) An archaeologist who tasted a long-frozen wolly mammoth said it tasted like mud.

Doesn't most freezer-burnt meat taste like that?