Romantic Ploys for Foodies

[Carrot Top]

Recently, as the New Year began, it seemed that there was a spate of increased interest in the idea of romance (to put it mildly) in the annals of eGullet.

Bond Girl wrote of a dining and dating adventure and the interesting follow-up, FabulousFoodBabe asked what it would take for us to ditch someone with romantic potential for their ways with food, and it seems that in general the subject is high on the radar here.

Which brought to mind the question: (As Valentine's Day is near, and planning must begin for those with intent towards seduction. . . )

What ploys have you ever implemented or considered implementing in the ways of using food and all that concerns it, towards the final result of getting a date, or finding a sweetheart ?

Cooking a meal is the obvious answer - an invitation to a "home-cooked" meal is always a good ploy in general. But there are more.

In my own experience, I am quite sure that I have been brought close to seduction by several, more Macchiavellian methods (which I greatly appreciate in their subtlety!).

*Being invited to a dinner at the fellow's mother's home. His mother was the most amazing cook in the world. (Probably I should have married her, not him, but life is full of mistakes. . .)

*Being tricked into thinking that a certain man was both a connosieur of fine food AND fine literature as he took to walking by me often with either a good cookbook or a copy of Oliver Twist in his hand as if he was reading it. (Later he admitted this was a ploy - he did not open any of these books, they were merely props in the game of love )

*Being given a handmade bouquet of flowers that was composed of some wooden skewers from the kitchen with brownies and cookies stuck onto them. . .( ) Points for creativity here. . .

*One that was rather ridiculous was when a fellow came into my office and picked up a huge Oreo cookie paperweight that I had on my desk, saying brazenly that he LOVED Oreo cookies and that he HAD to have this one . . .which he then walked right out of my office with, carrying it into his office where I finally had to go to retrieve it and also then get questioned about whether I wanted to date him. . .

The only thing I have ever done as ploy is just plain old cook a meal. I had to, for as a chef, nobody ever offered to cook for me.

A favorite romantic ploy still remains in my mind, undone as of yet. Of course it is rather complicated and I could never really figure out how to do it, but I love the idea.

It's an elevator fantasy, really. But it involves chocolate chip cookies.

Now for those of you who might claim that it is merely an elevator fantasy, I must tell you that you are dead wrong. If there were no cookies involved, the thing would be merely tawdry. Cookies being involved raises the thing to a higher level, I believe. Think about it, do.

Into the elevator I go with my huge stack of cookies. There are too many on the plate. They are precariously balanced.

The elevator stops on the next floor, and presto! Into it enters the object of my affections! He smiles and says something noncommittal. I blurble something stupid back, too shy to really talk to him.

The elevator ascends, then suddenly! It stops with a lurching motion. It goes up and down, up and down, toppling the two of us slightly sideways. Then with a huge creaking noise, it bounces up and down to a sudden stop! The cookies fall everywhere. . .and so do we, as he tries to save the cookies from falling.

Well. You can imagine the rest, if you'd like.

Never could pull that one off, though.

So. . .have you ever thought of or implemented a romantic ploy based upon food in the many ways it could be used? Has it worked? Or was it a dud?

Tell us a tale, if you will. . .

[annecros]

My husband likes to feed me, and I find it incredibly sexy. Particularly ice cream. It turns me on like a light switch, and he knows it.

[jackal10]

Ogden Nash has it:

Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker...

[Carrot Top]

Ogden Nash has it:

Candy's dandy, but liquor's quicker...

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Mmm. Well then. Other than blurting out "Let's go get drunk, baby!" what might one do?

Here's a subtle ploy. . .we all know education is important. Therefore going to an evening wine seminar would be VERY educational. Very important.

And of course one would ignore the part where they say "Spit out the wine".

Oh! Even better would be a visit to a local wineshop offering a tasting, on Saturday afternoon. . .before a movie or something. I've seen people get totally plastered at these things.

Or. . .telling someone that you REALLY need some help deciding whether this certain bottle is worth the price you paid for it or not? Everyone does want to feel USEFUL.

[highchef]

Carrot top, are you sure you're a cook and not a screen writer?

On seduction with food as the weapon, I'd seduce with a varahona brownie. Homemade vanilla ice cream, and for creative purposes, I'd cover it in whipped cream. I'd dust off Frank Zappa ( I'll just borrow him for little while MizDucky!) play with the whipped cream.

To be seduced is another thing altogether. I love sweets, but put some lump crab meat in front of me, perferably on top of a beautifully, perfectly grilled sirloin steak and you've got it made.

Best advice from Frank: Don't eat the yellow snow.

You can eat white snow.

[srhcb]

Or. . .telling someone that you REALLY need some help deciding whether this certain bottle is worth the price you paid for it or not? Everyone does want to feel USEFUL.

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Or the opposite tact, offering advice on an item at the market:

SB: "The morels are excellent. I used them in a stroganoff recipe from Balthazar a couple nights ago."

[srhcb]

Or. . .telling someone that you REALLY need some help deciding whether this certain bottle is worth the price you paid for it or not? Everyone does want to feel USEFUL.

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Or the opposite tact, offering advice on an item at the market:

SB: "The morels are excellent. I used them in a stroganoff recipe from Balthazar a couple nights ago."

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If you're really out to make an impression, (or hard up):

SB: "The morels are excellent. I used them in a stroganoff recipe from Balthazar a couple nights ago for my mother."

[srhcb]

Or. . .telling someone that you REALLY need some help deciding whether this certain bottle is worth the price you paid for it or not? Everyone does want to feel USEFUL.

←

Or the opposite tact, offering advice on an item at the market:

SB: "The morels are excellent. I used them in a stroganoff recipe from Balthazar a couple nights ago."

←

Or .... on another level:

SB: "I wouldn't buy them Polish. They'll make ya fart!"

[SobaAddict70]

I'd like to remind everyone to please keep discussion on this thread on-topic. This is a food forum, not an Internet dating site.

Thanks.

[mizducky]

As I'm reading this topic, of course the first thing that pops into my warped brain is this memorable movie moment:

[in the supermarket vegetable section]

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger.

Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger.

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?

Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.

Actually, if somebody ever used Otter's pickup line on me in a supermarket, I'd probably bash 'em with my pocketbook or something ...

I do know, though, that anybody demonstrating in any way, shape, or form that they're a fellow adventurous diner scores big romance points in my book. They suggest dim sum? They take me to their favorite sushi bar where they're friends with the sushi chef? They show me their favorite little hole-in-the-wall joint that makes outrageously good food? I'm definitely thinking "Okay, this one's got serious potential." And if they demonstrate that they know how to make excellent dinner conversation--that they understand that part of the joy of dining is to use the food and the atmosphere as fuel for the social engine of wordplay--then they've really got my attention.

But as to the appropriately seductive music for such a promising date:

On seduction with food as the weapon, I'd seduce with a varahona brownie. Homemade vanilla ice cream, and for creative purposes, I'd cover it in whipped cream. I'd dust off Frank Zappa ( I'll just borrow him for little while MizDucky!) play with the whipped cream.

←

Well, you know I love Frank, but for purely romantic purposes I think I prefer the devious smoothness of another very favorite group of mine, Steely Dan:

Szechuan dumplings

After the deal has been done

I'm the one

Edited January 22, 2006 by mizducky (log)

[highchef]

As I'm reading this topic, of course the first thing that pops into my warped brain is this memorable movie moment:

[in the supermarket vegetable section]

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger.

Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger.

Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?

Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.

Actually, if somebody ever used Otter's pickup line on me in a supermarket, I'd probably bash 'em with my pocketbook or something ...

I do know, though, that anybody demonstrating in any way, shape, or form that they're a fellow adventurous diner scores big romance points in my book. They suggest dim sum? They take me to their favorite sushi bar where they're friends with the sushi chef? They show me their favorite little hole-in-the-wall joint that makes outrageously good food? I'm definitely thinking "Okay, this one's got serious potential." And if they demonstrate that they know how to make excellent dinner conversation--that they understand that part of the joy of dining is to use the food and the atmosphere as fuel for the social engine of wordplay--then they've really got my attention.

But as to the appropriately seductive music for such a promising date:

On seduction with food as the weapon, I'd seduce with a varahona brownie. Homemade vanilla ice cream, and for creative purposes, I'd cover it in whipped cream. I'd dust off Frank Zappa ( I'll just borrow him for little while MizDucky!) play with the whipped cream.

←

Well, you know I love Frank, but for purely romantic purposes I think I prefer the devious smoothness of another very favorite group of mine, Steely Dan:

Szechuan dumplings

After the deal has been done

I'm the one

←

Yeah, but Frank is so funny, talk about breaking the ice!!

Especially if I tint the whipped cream yellow.....

[BeeZee]

If you're gonna use food for seduction, don't oversell yourself or your cooking ability. I know a guy who thought he'd impress a date by cooking fried calamari like his grandma used to make...until they both got sick from it! I dated a guy who built up my expectations by saying he was going to cook me a "very special dinner"...then had to ask me to help him prepare it...and it was only grilled tuna!

[Busboy]

The one and only time I ever tried to use food to lift a crush into the consummation phase (usually I just relied on booze, charm and bad judgement on behalf of the target of my affections), I kicked the roommate out and cooked the only upscale thing I knew how to make: panfried steak with a shallot-wine pan sauce. For two college kids, it was actally a pretty good meal, and I had the candles and soft music going (I still remember the radio station playing "Psycho Killer" while I was trying to make the post-dinner move.

Sadly, I struck out badly.

I felt better, though, a couple of years later when the lady in question came out.

[Chris Amirault]

For two college kids, it was actally a pretty good meal, and I had the candles and soft music going (I still remember the radio station playing "Psycho Killer" while I was trying to make the post-dinner move.

←

Better run run run run run run away.

[phatj]

My engagement to my wife went as follows:

She came home from work to find the apartment cleaned and with candles burning, and a huge bouquet of flowers on the "dining room" table. I meet her in my best suit, and tell her there's a surprise waiting for her in her closet; she goes and puts on this gorgeous royal blue cocktail dress with matching shoes. These I purchased to match the sapphire and diamond pendant necklace and earrings I had previously purchased for her.

In the meantime, I was putting the finishing touches on dinner: filets mignons with a sauce of shallots in red wine, and scallops in rotini with a pesto sauce. This was a big hit. (I was too nervous to truly enjoy it, unfortunately.)

Then, after dinner, I said, "Oh, wait, I forgot something," and ran off to the bedroom, returning with a jewelry box containing a diamond-and-sapphire ring, with which I dropped to one knee and asked her to marry me. She, of course, accepted.

After that, we headed to downtown Philadelphia to see a string quartet perform Brahms and Mozart at the brand-new Kimmel Center for the Performing Arts.

All in all, a very successful evening.

Edited January 23, 2006 by phatj (log)

[Zucchini Mama]

Well, I have a very humble seduction story. My partner and I courted each other long distance for awhile, and wrote each other letters (yes, on real paper). I put together a little bag of those jelly beans with fancy flavours and sent them off in the mail. Months later, his co-worker told me she had seen him eating a little bag of jelly beans with a dreamy smile on his face. "Are you in love?" she asked. "I guess so", he says.

When I came to visit him he had bought a heart-shaped tube tin and baked biscotti in it to make me heart-shaped biscotti. I wonder where that tube is now, I should dig it out for Valentine's day.

I do think it was a bottle of Beringer Sauvignon Blanc that sealed the deal, though.

Zuke

[Meez]

I still remember the radio station playing "Psycho Killer" while I was trying to make the post-dinner move.

Beautiful. Maybe if it had been "Take Me to the River" things might have gone differently...

In college, if I cooked for a date, I'd usually try to involve chocolate and caffeine at some point, usually in the form of a big coffee drink with whipped cream.

[Tepee]

How could I forget this! Karen, this fits your title to a 'T'. I made this for future hubby 17 yrs ago........for Valentine's.

The Good - or so I thought. Heart-shaped strawberry jam-filled in the middle Lebkuchen cookies. Saw this in an Australian Women's Weekly recipe book and thought this should do the trick, since I really wanted to make an impression. And I had a heart-shaped box to put it in.

The Bad - Ok, waaaaay back then, my kitchen skills were below zero, having been pampered by mom all my live-in-parent's-home-days. But, where there's a will........

The Ugly - The cookies turned out pretty.......pretty rock hard. Apparently, he did his best to finish it (he may have chipped a tooth) and had to hide it as far back in the larder as possible, just in case the rest of his family thought they discovered a good thing, bu-ut...

Still wonder why he married me....?

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And, no...I'm not revealing any fantasy romantic ploys. No private details, pls...I'm Asian.

Edited January 23, 2006 by Tepee (log)

[Carrot Top]

Busboy, you forgot to say how useful knowing how to wash the dishes is. . .

Tepee, your story once again shows the Importance of Cookies.

There is actually one thing I forgot to tell about. . .though I haven't *really* had a chance to try it yet.

Chocolate paint.

A chocolate company sent me a catalogue this year and in it (along with the usual bonbons and truffles and such) were some really thrilling things like Chocolate Voodoo Dolls and Chocolate Body Paint.

The chocolate body paint came with stencils and a paintbrush.

Now how fantastic is that!

A mere can of chocolate paint and a brush is nowhere near as interesting as getting STENCILS with the kit.

I ordered two chocolate voodoo dolls for my kids so that they could try to destroy the voodoo dolls instead of each other, and one paint kit for The Boyfriend of Carrot Top.

For some reason the order was sent wrong and I got three voodoo dolls.

What does this mean?

Well, I gave it to him anyway.

The paint kit would have been more aesthetically interesting, I do believe.

P.S. Just saw the body-paint in TARGET of all places. Being sold WITHOUT the stencils, in the Valentines Day merchandise section.

What is the world coming to?

[StInGeR]

OK I'm sorry to say I have had no romantic ploys BUT I had the ultimate unromantic and ugly ploy and it worked.

I made dinner for first wife one night - gorgeous individual chicken pot pies and I mean they were gorgeous. They were both identical in everyway, shape and form. However written in non-toxic marker in the bottom of hers was "I WANT A DIVORCE", needless to say it worked and six months later I was happily single

[Kent Wang]

I made dinner for first wife one night - gorgeous individual chicken pot pies and I mean they were gorgeous. They were both identical in everyway, shape and form. However written in non-toxic marker in the bottom of hers was "I WANT A DIVORCE", needless to say it worked and six months later I was happily single 

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Did you have a huge grin on your face all throughout dinner?! What was her reaction?

[west2100]

OK I'm sorry to say I have had no romantic ploys BUT I had the ultimate unromantic and ugly ploy and it worked.

I made dinner for first wife one night - gorgeous individual chicken pot pies and I mean they were gorgeous. They were both identical in everyway, shape and form. However written in non-toxic marker in the bottom of hers was "I WANT A DIVORCE", needless to say it worked and six months later I was happily single 

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I think that's absolutely glorious. Your culinary revenge skills are highly sophisticated.

[StInGeR]

[jsolomon]

However written in non-toxic marker in the bottom of hers was "I WANT A DIVORCE", needless to say it worked and six months later I was happily single 

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That is amazing! I may never be able to make chicken potpie for my fiance again, but amazing!

I have tried the wine education thing, and it works okay. I've never dated a foodie before, and I have never had a woman try to woo me to bed unwillingly, so I have distressingly little to add

[Carrot Top]

I have tried the wine education thing, and it works okay.  I've never dated a foodie before, and I have never had a woman try to woo me to bed unwillingly, so I have distressingly little to add

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I dunno. You might try that "get on the horse and lets go calving" idea. A little hibachi grill in in the backpack for the mountain oysters-to be and some of that warm cheap beer, and ooo hoo!

.................................................................

Well, of course another ploy, slightly different, could be to offer to bring fresh bagels by "for breakfast before work starts" some day. Just a friendly gesture, you know. Simple friendship. Bagels. Hot bagels. Cream cheese. A ripe tomato.

Some smoked salmon perhaps?

Forget the weekday. Bring some champagne and make it a Saturday thing.