Deal Breakers

[ianeccleston]

The Deal Maker?  Asked if he likes food, the future Mr. Duck said, “I’m a goldfish.  I eat everything that’s put in front of me.”  On our first date we went for drinks followed by dinner in a nearby restaurant.  I was all set to order when the waitron came and told us the specials.  Duck was one of them.  “I’d like the duck,” I said.  Not realizing that it was the most expensive item on the menu.  Note:  on a first date (or second or third for the matter), I never order the most expensive item on the menu.  But I heard duck, and when it presents itself, I must call the duck.  I offered to split the check, but being the gentleman he was, paid for the entire bill.  And he called the next morning as he said he would.  So five plus years later, we’re still exploring the food world together.

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What a sweet story. We should start a new thread just for "Deal Makers!"

I'm told that my deal maker came on my first date with my wife. Carrot-ginger soup, and pear and blue cheese salad. A success even though the meal was at my studio - the table was just next to the bed. When I had two guest come over one of them would sit on the bed instead of a chair.

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Ah yes, the Deal Breaker: the girl that didn't know what an egg roll was. C'mon. Never even HEARD of an egg roll?

Edited January 23, 2006 by ianeccleston (log)

[Blondelle]

I once went to dinner with what I thought was a perfectly nice man. Trying to impress me he proceeded to order a cara-fay of wine. Needless to say there wasn't a second date. Then there was the man who ordered for us both. Waiter he said "bring us two lobsters with all the trimmings". He then asked me if I would be joining him back at his place latter. When I said...er...no, he called to the waiter to change the order to one lobster. I was NOT amused, and left...lol!

I once broke up with a guy because I saw him eating a banana in a way that just made me cringe.  Like a monkey.  The memory still sets my teeth on edge.  I mean, what teenaged guy would pack a banana in his lunch?  And then sit there in the cafeteria, next to me, yakking away, peeling it like some sort of primate between bites?  I just couldn't look at him any more without thinking of him in a diaper, striped shirt and beret, scratching his pit with one hand and eating the banana in another.  I just ditched him right then and there.  And no, I never told him why. 

Please, please tell me, someone out there on eG., have you ever done this? If I am a lunatic, am I alone?  Many thanks,

Fabby

(I was reading Ya-Roo's story and laughing my butt off, and then recalled the banana incident to my husband and sons.  Mr. FFB told me that when he intends to leave me for a stripper, he will go on an all-banana diet, to make it easier on us all.)

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[Terrasanct]

I love my husband...but I wish I'd known more about his food issues before we got married.

I love to cook and to eat. Of course, or I wouldn't come here. While he does enjoy some food, his list of food that he will eat is much shorter than the list of food he won't. I think I posted this on another thread but it was a long time ago.

He will eat (drink): coffee, alcohol, diet cola, hamburger, fish, pizza, canned chili, clam chowder, Mexican food, chocolate, and bread. Especially bread. He won't eat chicken, sausages, barbecue, pudding, jello, custard (unless I call it something else), most soups, leftovers of any sort except pizza....well, almost anything I want to fix for dinner. He barely tolerates vegetables. Thinks he's allergic to chicken (he's not). He likes fast food a lot.

I hate to make steaks for dinner because he'll cut it into little pieces, inspect every piece, and declare about 3/4 of the steak "gristle." It doesn't matter how expensive the cut or that my steak tastes just fine...

Kind of makes me less than enthusiastic about cooking for him.

It's a good thing he enjoys eating in good restaurants, although we don't go out very often. We got in a big fight last time we went out because I wanted him to try a bite of my foie gras and he said he didn't like it. Since he doesn't like anything he hasn't tried before, that kind of limits his options.

Edited January 24, 2006 by Terrasanct (log)

[SuzySushi]

I may have posted this story on eGullet before, but I once went on a dinner date with a man who had food allergies. I'm generally sympathetic because my sister is severely allergic to milk (not "just" lactose intolerant, but casein intolerant as well -- she needs to read labels carefully or else suffer heavy consequences).

Anyway, this guy was also allergic to milk. And because of this -- this was in the days when soy milk was not widely known-about or distributed -- he topped his breakfast cereal with water.

Me (google-eyed): But, but... how does that taste?

Him (matter-of-factly): It tastes terrible.

End of any possible relationship, right there.

OTOH, I decided to contact my future husband through a dating service after reading in his 25-words-or-less blurb: "Likes sushi and chocolate."

Anyone who likes sushi and chocolate, I figured, can't be all bad!

[heather s]

My husband and I knew we were a match when we found out that we both liked to peel and eat grapefruit segments (plain, no sugar)! We have similar attitudes towards food (like to try new things, but sorry, no offal), like same level of spiciness. Makes for a more pleasant dining experience, right? We both have our quirks ref. foods we don't like (he won't eat "cold" cheese, only melted) and it seems to work out OK.

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I had to reply to this one - reminds me of being on the opposite end of one of these stories!

Picture this: Seventh grade, chillin on the playground after school with friends and my "boyfriend" (the third that year...). I start to eat a grapefruit, whole, peeling it and eating the segments. Very delicately and a little self-consciously at first, but midway through I have juice running down my face and have completely forgotten that I am in middle school. I look up and James, oh James the love of my life! is looking at me with a look of utter disgust on his face. He broke up with me the next day.

[I_call_the_duck]

Ah yes, the Deal Breaker: the girl that didn't know what an egg roll was.  C'mon.  Never even HEARD of an egg roll?

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I don't know what it is about my brother and the women that he dates, but they all seem to have food issues. This one didn't know real Chinese food when she saw it. The first time he brought her home, she got really grossed out by the whole steamed sea bass that my father lovingly prepared. "I'm used to ordering #12 on the menu," she said. It's no wonder I made sure I weeded out the food phobics before I went out with them.

[rooftop1000]

hmmm I havent tried #12 on our takeout menu...I really used to hate when my husband ordered by number those girls speak english! but I got used to it...

My ex boyfriend once ate his chicken fingers with his plate on his LAP in a lobster restaurant in Maine because we were spraying goop all over the place. How do eat a steamed lobster without spraying????

tracey

[Kris]

OMG, Badiane.    What the heck?  Who does he think he is?  What a boorish, obnoxious little piece of sh-t.  That ranks among the top worst internet dating experiences I've ever heard (and I've had my share). 

Now that I've gotten that out of my system, I'm glad you found someone, and he still has his dog.

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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally agree. I was laughing up until the point where he started in about the chocolate stick. What a loser!

As for me, I'm married now. But in my single days, I wouldn't have dated a man who was a vegetarian. Even now, I told my husband that if he became a vegetarian, he'd have to cook for himself.

Edited January 24, 2006 by Kris (log)

[Laughing Goddess]

My ex boyfriend once ate his chicken fingers with his plate on his LAP in a lobster restaurant in Maine because we were spraying goop all over the place. How do eat a steamed lobster without spraying????

tracey

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Tracey, I think the dealbreaker for me would be when he ordered chicken fingers instead of lobster at a lobser restaurant in Maine!!

[Grub]

Beeing mean, condescending, or just plain high maintenance to the waitstaff. It is said that a society can be judged by how it treats its weakest and poorest, and I think the same goes for a person.

Oh, and eating with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth. And most of all, if you've gotta yawn, cover your mouth -- doesn't matter if you've got food in your piehole or not; what are you, a goddamn horse? I hear neighing sounds when I see people do that. I've been tarred with the label "mean" merely for throwing stuff in a woman's mouth when yawning. All I was trying to do, is make her a better person.

[Rebecca263]

Beeing mean, condescending, or just plain high maintenance to the waitstaff. It is said that a society can be judged by how it treats its weakest and poorest, and I think the same goes for a person.

Oh, and eating with your mouth open or talking with food in your mouth. And most of all, if you've gotta yawn, cover your mouth -- doesn't matter if you've got food in your piehole or not; what are you, a goddamn horse? I hear neighing sounds when I see people do that. I've been tarred with the label "mean" merely for throwing stuff in a woman's mouth when yawning. All I was trying to do, is make her a better person.

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Um, MAJOR contradiction between your behavior and your beliefs regarding how to treat people, and being mean/condescending?

[Grub]

Um,  MAJOR contradiction between your behavior and your beliefs regarding how to treat people, and being mean/condescending?    

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I dunno... As one waitress sez in Waiting... "I don't understand what would compell anyone to be a complete bitch to a total stranger!" (let alone the substitute waiter's "I guess we should feel guilty, but you just don't fuck with someone who handles your food" after they all but defecated into the customer's order).

I don't like open-mouthed, not-covering-your-mouth jawning. Is this just an abnormal dislike that only I suffer from? I think jawning like that is just very bad manners. It's like having dinner with a retarded, great white shark on quaaludes.

[Ling]

I think really horrible table manners would kill the relationship for me. Or as many others have mentioned, being rude to the waitstaff.

Other than that, I don't think I'm too nitpicky with guys when it comes to what they like to eat. I don't mind if they can't cook--one of the guys I dated this summer subsists wholly on Subway sandwiches--as long as they appreciate good food. (Which he does. Oh, and he's the hottest guy I'd ever met, so perhaps I'm biased.)

Another guy I dated in the summer that made me think twice was when he pulled out a coupon book on a date. I have nothing against using coupons...but I didn't think that was the most polite thing to do on a date. (Money was not an issue with him either--he bought a $700 000 condo and was planning on installing a jacuzzi and a LCD TV in his new bathroom.)

I think the only deal-breaker for me would be a guy who was really calorie-conscious. That would not work. He would probably be disgusted by my eating habits anyway.

[Milagai]

As for me, I'm married now.  But in my single days, I wouldn't have dated a man who was a vegetarian.  Even now, I told my husband that if he became a vegetarian, he'd have to cook for himself.

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well, there's a saying that "there's a lid for every pot"

in the marriage market and a good thing too.

i could never consider even respecting someone who is

so closed minded about diverse food philosophies (not quirks

and jerks), or who appears to assume that veg food is

about deprivation and lack of enjoyment, rather than

capahle of being awesomely delicious every day, every meal.

vegetarians seem "required" to display a global

attitude of respect and tolerance for every extreme of

non-vegetarianism, so it would be nice if that could be reciprocated

sometimes.

milagai

(feeling grumpy today i guess)

[Philanthrophobe]

My ex had a weird, ferocious, possessive thing about food, which surfaced sometime after we had been married about a year. I forget what I had made, but I served each of us a plate of it and then watched as he added a little soy sauce. Curious, I speared a small forkful to try it, and suddenly he lunged, grabbed my arm, and screamed,

"DON'T F#CK WITH MY FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I know, I know, I should've cut and run immediately, but it was just so damned weird that I almost couldn't believe it happened.

Oh, yeah--and toward the end? He actually complained to his shrink that I wouldn't allot him one whole shelf in the fridge and another in the freezer for HIS food, which was likely as not leftovers from meals I'd cooked.

[MarketStEl]

During college I briefly dated a frat-boy-hockey-player-chemical-engineering-WASP who was so afraid of food it was scary.  Everything about him was white.  White skin, white food, white socks with his black shoes.

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Was one of his favorite dishes Green Bean Casserole?

[MarketStEl]

I am very curious if you eat all fruit with a fork and knife?  I've never seen anyone eat a banana with utensils (except for the one in a banana split).  This sounds like something out of a Sienfeld episode where they were eating Snicker bars (I think) with a knife and fork.

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I've posted about this before...but back when I was in college there was a woman from a wealthy Iranian family in one of my classes. After class, we were eating lunch and she saw someone eating a banana and commented that she had never eaten a banana with her hands before she came to America.

She said in her home in Iran bananas were always served on a plate and were eaten using a knife and fork. Her parents said it was beneath their status/class to eat any kind of food with their hands.

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Aww ... even asparagus dipped in egg yolks?

I grossed Mr. FFB-out with this when we were dating early on -- the asparagus with the fingers thing. He was HORRIFIED, but far too polite to say anything to me about it (and far too wise to say anything for a long, long time thereafter ). The man eats bacon with his fork, still!

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This particular sub-topic reminds me of a letter to Judith Martin, the manners maven based at The Washington Post, that was published in her first collection of columns, Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. My rough recollection (not having the book handy and not wanting to unbury it right now) was that the exchange went like this:

Dear Miss Manners:

What is the proper way to eat a potato chip?

Gentle Reader:

With a knife and fork. A fruit knife and an oyster fork, to be specific. Good Lord, Miss Manners understands the need to educate the public on the finer points of etiquette, but anyone who doesn't have the common sense to grab a handful of potato chips and stuff it in his mouth is beyond her help.

I don't have any relationship-enders to add to this thread, but I do have one of those moments with a friend that caused me to re-evaluate the friendship.

It was my freshman year at Harvard. I had volunteered for the Undergraduate Admissions Committee, which helps the admissions office show students around the campus and the city. I had agreed to host Kansas Citians visiting the school, knowing full well that there was a good chance I'd end up escorting someone I knew from Pem-Day, Sunset Hill or Grace and Holy Trinity Cathedral (Episcopal), where I sang in the choir.

Sure enough, I got a PCD Class of '77 student as one of my first visitors. By this time, I had already found out where the No Name restauarant was (it's the hole in the wall on Fish Pier with no name) and eaten there, sampled just about every restaurant Harvard Square had to offer (hot dog fans note: one of them at the time was a Zum Zum), and in general had a great time exploring the city and doing everything but studying.

This fellow was a coddled sort and somewhat timid. On one day of his visit, I offered to drive him around the area and take him to any restaurant he wanted, and went into descriptions of several.

He asked me for a McDonald's. He was afraid to try anything unfamiliar.

I told him I didn't know where any McDonald's were in or near Watertown (through which we were passing when he dropped the bombshell, and it's true -- I didn't), and we ended up eating at a Howard Johnson's over the Mass. Pike in Newton.

I made no effort to follow up on his visit, and he ended up attending some other school.

[dinwiddie]

I once broke up with a guy because I saw him eating a banana in a way that just made me cringe.  Like a monkey.  The memory still sets my teeth on edge.  I mean, what teenaged guy would pack a banana in his lunch?  And then sit there in the cafeteria, next to me, yakking away, peeling it like some sort of primate between bites?  I just couldn't look at him any more without thinking of him in a diaper, striped shirt and beret, scratching his pit with one hand and eating the banana in another.  I just ditched him right then and there.  And no, I never told him why. 

Please, please tell me, someone out there on eG., have you ever done this? If I am a lunatic, am I alone?  Many thanks,

Fabby

(I was reading Ya-Roo's story and laughing my butt off, and then recalled the banana incident to my husband and sons.  Mr. FFB told me that when he intends to leave me for a stripper, he will go on an all-banana diet, to make it easier on us all.)

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Monkeys eat the whole thing, peel and all. Peeling it down is something that they made up for cartoons.

[SheenaGreena]

once broke up with a guy because I saw him eating a banana in a way that just made me cringe. Like a monkey. The memory still sets my teeth on edge. I mean, what teenaged guy would pack a banana in his lunch? And then sit there in the cafeteria, next to me, yakking away, peeling it like some sort of primate between bites? I just couldn't look at him any more without thinking of him in a diaper, striped shirt and beret, scratching his pit with one hand and eating the banana in another. I just ditched him right then and there. And no, I never told him why.

Please, please tell me, someone out there on eG., have you ever done this? If I am a lunatic, am I alone? Many thanks,

Fabby

(I was reading Ya-Roo's story and laughing my butt off, and then recalled the banana incident to my husband and sons. Mr. FFB told me that when he intends to leave me for a stripper, he will go on an all-banana diet, to make it easier on us all.)

uhh thats how I eat my banana and I do pack one for lunch. Its easy to transport, easy to eat, and tastes delicious. I also hold the handle in my hand and peel it down. I understand that most people do it the opposite way. So whats the correct and polite way to eat a banana?

anywho...........my boyfriend sounds like everything you guys hate (including me, but I still love him).

he hates ALL vegetables except for potatos and corn and when I want to go out to eat he only eats the following:

burger: medium well (gahhhhhhh)

boneless buffalo tenders w/ extra blue cheese

burritos

and whenever I cook korean food at home I have to make sure that I cook it before he gets home from work or he might smell "kimchi" hahaha.

then there are good qualities like driving me an hour or so to portland so we can get french fries at duck fat. or driving 2 hours to get to a diner in vermont so we can get their yummy home fries. Also on one of our first dates he took me to a local korean restaurant so he could try out what I tend to eat. Of course he hated it and he never took me again

despite all of that and being a pain in my ass, I still love him and I don't mind (that much) that he only likes salad with lettuce, carrots, celery, and cucumber.

[Gruzia]

ugh - in college i met a guy who said he was allergic to both garlic and tomatoes - right then I knew it wouldn't last!

recently, I had to work with a girl who was one of those people that chew with their mouth open - we were working together for a month and though the girl was nice, by the end, I was ready to strangle her. seriously, is there anything more annoying than wet smacky chewy noises coming from somebody else's mouth?

[Rebecca263]

  ...anywho...........my boyfriend sounds like everything you guys hate (including me, but I still love him)...

and whenever I cook korean food at home I have to make sure that I cook it before he gets home from work or he might smell "kimchi" hahaha...

... Also on one of our first dates he took me to a local korean restaurant so he could try out what I tend to eat.  Of course he hated it and he never took me again  ...

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Oh, my dear one, we'll be seeing you here again, I'm certain. Methinks it's not exactly LOVE at work here. Unless you can train him to like kimchi. Maybe on his overdone hamburgers, to start.

[FabulousFoodBabe]

uhh thats how I eat my banana and I do pack one for lunch.

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Well, now you know why I said it would never work out between us

[Fresser]

During college I briefly dated a frat-boy-hockey-player-chemical-engineering-WASP who was so afraid of food it was scary.  Everything about him was white.  White skin, white food, white socks with his black shoes.

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Was one of his favorite dishes Green Bean Casserole?

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There ya go stereotyping us again, Sandy!

(munches on crackers and white bread)

The women I've dated have had pretty eclectic tastes when it comes to food. No suprise, I guess--who wants to dine with a fussbudget?

[SheenaGreena]

uhh thats how I eat my banana and I do pack one for lunch.

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Well, now you know why I said it would never work out between us

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should've read back a few posts that you made your banana hating decision when you were younger, i'll give you a break for that one

[SheenaGreena]

  ...anywho...........my boyfriend sounds like everything you guys hate (including me, but I still love him)...

and whenever I cook korean food at home I have to make sure that I cook it before he gets home from work or he might smell "kimchi" hahaha...

... Also on one of our first dates he took me to a local korean restaurant so he could try out what I tend to eat.  Of course he hated it and he never took me again  ...

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Oh, my dear one, we'll be seeing you here again, I'm certain. Methinks it's not exactly LOVE at work here. Unless you can train him to like kimchi. Maybe on his overdone hamburgers, to start.

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jeez, lets hope not! I tried to train him on the kimchi, but it just won't work. This is kinda gross......don't read any further if you are easily grossed out

one time he was feeling really ill and needed to throw up very badly (to make himself feel a little better). He was having a hard time doing so, so I decided to help him out by making him smell a bucket of 6 month old sour kimchi. holy crap did that do the trick. Not only did it work, but he got so pissed off at me. I dont know how it made him ill, because whenever I smell extra sour or old kimchi it makes my mouth water.