Potluck disasters

[rooftop1000]

I just might have something for Y'all by Wednesday evening. My first office job in 17 yrs we are having a potluck lunch. I am one of maybe 4 white persons in an extended mail services dept. I have very high hopes for a hell of an international take on Thanksgiving. Now I just have to figure out what to put my baked ziti in that is microwavable.

...I am actually considering browning an apropriately sized pile of mozz so that I can stir the pasta during microwaving and drop the cheese on top near the end. Or maybe 2 small pans or should I whip out a torch in the mailroom...or maybe just make penne with vodka sauce.

[Ling]

Do the torch thing! Kind of dangerous, kind of sexy...

[Kim Shook]

During my college day, I lived in a housing coop in Madison Wisconsin.  While not strictly a potluck, one of the house jobs was to cook the main meal for the household.  One of the cooks developed an unhealthy obsession with all things garbanzo.  Needless to say, after garbanzo bean loaf, salad, soup, pate, stir fry and all other aberrations thereof, I have avoided them to this day. 

On another note, Thanksgiving at my house is potluck.  I invite all my guest with the caveat that no greenbean casseroles with crispy onions or sweet potatoes with congealing marshmallows will be allowed entrance!

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"an unhealthy obsession with all things garbanzo"

If egullet had tag lines, this would be mine. It's 6:50 am on a Sunday morning and I just blew my caffine all over my keyboard!!

[divalasvegas]

Maybe we should start a thread called "strange hambone stories". For I have one too, but it went the opposite way.

Did the whole thing, ate the dinner, we cleaned up and because I had too much stuff to carry home, I asked if I could leave the ham bone in her freezer for a while.

"YOUR HAMBONE!" she screeched at me. "IT IS STILL HERE! DO YOU WANT IT OR NOT?"

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Still LMAO over your line about "Maybe we should start a thread called "strange hambone stories". Why not?

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Heh, you two, I am in the middle of making split pea soup with a very big smoked ham shank.

Not EVHS, but I guess it might be deemed Pure Ham Shank.

You want?

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Okay Pontormo I have to know, what the Hell is EVHS? BTW, I always hated green pea soup because of that well known (red can) national company whose green pea soup was Exorcist vile, but I'd love to have a taste of yours; sounds delicious.

[MT-Tarragon]

Heh, you two, I am in the middle of making split pea soup with a very big smoked ham shank.

Not EVHS, but I guess it might be deemed Pure Ham Shank.

You want?

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Okay Pontormo I have to know, what the Hell is EVHS? BTW, I always hated green pea soup because of that well known (red can) national company whose green pea soup was Exorcist vile, but I'd love to have a taste of yours; sounds delicious.

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I think that's Extra Virgin Ham Shank. Since the shank has been refined in the split pea soup, it's now only pure ham shank.

[WHS]

Cut up kielbasa in a sauce made up of a jar of grape jelly and a bottle of chili sauce. Served in a crock pot where it has been congealing for the last 6 hours.

Chicken "Tahiti"--chicken chunks with pineapple and candied sweet potatoes. Kind of like having dessert for a main course.

I have eaten these things...

[Carrot Top]

Cut up kielbasa in a sauce made up of a jar of grape jelly and a bottle of chili sauce.  Served in a crock pot where it has been congealing for the last 6 hours.

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I have eaten this one too.

Sometimes it is absolutely the best thing on the pot-luck table.

[mizducky]

Heh. In my 20s I belonged to a rather hippie-esque alternative Jewish congregation/havurah in the Boston area, that basically ran on potlucks. Actually, the vast majority of them were pretty darned good--all the members were decent to excellent cooks who took pride in their home cooking. But we did have a number of meals where nearly everyone inadvertently made the same thing--I remember in particular one in which almost everyone brought a dish based on potatoes. All of them tasted quite good, mind you, but even if you were crazy about potatoes it was a bit much. After that we went to a "structured potluck" system where people signed up for making certain kinds of dishes (main dish, vegetable dish, starch dish, salad, etc. etc.)

As for me--well, there was this one time I spent *hours* laboring over making this nouvelle-ish layered vegetable terrine--each type of veg had to be chopped, cooked, and seasoned separately, and then layered in a loaf pan with a rice-and-egg mixture to bind each one ... just way tedious. The finished product did look beautiful, especially when sliced, and so I had high hopes for it. But when I went to taste it: nothing. The blandest thing in the universe. And I had followed the recipe (from a trustworthy cookbook, yet) to the letter. Maybe I just had some especially flavorless veggies. Maybe the author of the recipe had toned down the seasoning because it was meant to be "spa cuisine" or some damn thing. All I know was that I'd just spent literally hours making something I couldn't stand, and it really disappointed me. But I was already at the potluck with it--in fact, had just dished it up, that was why I was getting my first taste of it--so I just slunk away and left it there. Most of it was eaten by the end of the party. I don't know if that meant others liked it more than I, or that others, like me, were just suckered in by how pretty it looked.

[divalasvegas]

OMG, I can't believe I didn't remember this one. It was a company potluck, same company where the "alleged" hambone thievery took place. Anyway it was a crock pot creation of pre-made, store bought "meat"balls. I don't even want to think what was actually used to make those meatballs, all identical and perfectly round, simmered in a mixture of grape jelly, canned cream of mushroom soup and barbeque sauce. Yes, just as tasty as it sounds.

I have no words....................................

[SuzySushi]

That grape jelly sure gets around. Many years ago, a friend gave me an otherwise very good recipe for oven-baked breaded chicken, which I've made many a time. The accompanying sauce recipe -- which I never made -- was composed of grape jelly, bottled chili sauce, and yellow mustard. My friend was as horrified that I never made the sauce -- "That's the best part!" he said -- as I was by the sauce!

[Pontormo]

Heh, you two, I am in the middle of making split pea soup with a very big smoked ham shank.

Not EVHS, but I guess it might be deemed Pure Ham Shank.

You want?

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Okay Pontormo I have to know, what the Hell is EVHS? BTW, I always hated green pea soup because of that well known (red can) national company whose green pea soup was Exorcist vile, but I'd love to have a taste of yours; sounds delicious.

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I think that's Extra Virgin Ham Shank. Since the shank has been refined in the split pea soup, it's now only pure ham shank.

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BINGO!

Sorry, divalasvegas, but I didn't hear back from either you or Karen and by the time I stripped the meat off the shank, the bone was just a paltry little naked thing. About the size you'll find dangling from ear lobes these days, but not at all sparkly. So, I chucked it .

Back in the day when I regularly ate canned or packaged soups for lunch, I think I only did Lipton's for split pea, doctored with cut up hot dogs . It's much better with good ham, carrots, celery, onion, potato, bay leaf, cloves stuck in a second onion and unpulverized split peas with a sliver of butter mixed into each bowl, buttermilk cornbread on the side. I digress. I don't blame you for your prejudice...

Nor the blank drawn by EVHS. Since I didn't know Rachael Ray from the Merman (no cable), Megan Blocker kindly explained that the former always says EVOO on her TV show, and had to spell out its significance to me. It seems to be a favorite inside joke here.

I guess I just wanted to join in the fun.

I went to grad school in a midwestern town known as our nation's capital of the potluck dinner.

It was also a breeding ground for vegetarians. I swear. No, wait, it may have been this zombie thing. At any rate, I went through years upon years of potlucks. And I simply do not have memories of a bad potluck experience, even when most of the guests were vegetarians.* Even at the potluck reception for a vegetarian lesbian commitment ceremony where most of the guests were in Social Work (thank g-d I was allowed to put anchovies in the escarole pie; I just had to make a sign warning the diehards.) The students in Asian Studies ALWAYS brought the best food!!! Unless, maybe I'm blocking out the stuff with Campbell's mushroom soup or Cool Whip

So, because I can only remember things like my virgin taste of spicy cold peanut noodles I HAD to write about hambones, instead.

*Now, the effect of the vegetarian couple on the monthly meeting of the E.F. Glutton Society is another thing, entirely. (Not that there's anything wrong with it.)

Edited November 21, 2005 by Pontormo (log)

[rooftop1000]

I just might have something for Y'all by Wednesday evening. My first office job in 17 yrs we are having a potluck lunch. I am one of maybe 4 white persons in an extended mail services dept. I have very high hopes for a hell of an international take on Thanksgiving. Now I just have to figure out what to put my baked ziti in that is microwavable.

...I am actually considering browning an apropriately sized pile of mozz so that I can stir the pasta during microwaving and drop the cheese on top near the end. Or maybe 2 small pans or should I whip out a torch in the mailroom...or maybe just make penne with vodka sauce.

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So...I would like to take this opportunity to say good bye you have all been wonderful....Yes I am assuming a slow and painful death coming on

Potluck lunch was today. I brought in my giant vat of baked ziti and promptly refridgerated it. Enter the carved turkey, the roast pork, the rice and beans, the tossed salad, the potato salad and an armada of pies, all carefully placed on the table in the back of the office, AT 8 AM. Fast forward 11:30am the turkey is hauled off down the hall to the microwave...I wait about 15 min and head off to nuke the ziti...at some point the pork has joined the ziti and turkey on the microwave line.

10 min in the nuker...stir well add more cheese to the top, punch in another 10 min, sneak out for a cigarette. By the time I got back all was on the table with a line of 20. I joined the line took my plate of salmonella soufle and ate it all. Washed down with Pineapple soda, apple pie, cheesecake, and ice cream.

So food poisoning? probabley. oooh but what kind?

It was all very tasty

tracey

[tryska]

OMG, I can't believe I didn't remember this one.  It was a company potluck, same company where the "alleged" hambone thievery took place.   Anyway it was a crock pot creation of pre-made, store bought "meat"balls.  I don't even want to think what was actually used to make those meatballs, all identical and perfectly round, simmered in a mixture of grape jelly, canned cream of mushroom soup and barbeque sauce.  Yes, just as tasty as it sounds.

I have no words....................................

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oh wow.....a new jar of+can/bottle of to add to my collection....

i made a thread about this phenomena a few months back. Poor marketStEl was the only one willing to play:

http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showto...l=currant+jelly

[tryska]

I should prolly add my potluck nightmare scenario....

picture this - a pristine looking banana pudding. looks yummy - the bananas aren't even browning.

so everyone takes a big scoop.

what does it taste like?

pink oil hair sheen.

the only thing i can think of is that whoever made it decided to het their hair "did" over the bowl of banana pudding.

i never ate anything she brought again.

i'm wary of office potlucks. i know for a fact i have some nasty coworkers who don't wahs their hands. and those people are at every job.

[divalasvegas]

I just might have something for Y'all by Wednesday evening. My first office job in 17 yrs we are having a potluck lunch. I am one of maybe 4 white persons in an extended mail services dept. I have very high hopes for a hell of an international take on Thanksgiving. Now I just have to figure out what to put my baked ziti in that is microwavable.

...I am actually considering browning an apropriately sized pile of mozz so that I can stir the pasta during microwaving and drop the cheese on top near the end. Or maybe 2 small pans or should I whip out a torch in the mailroom...or maybe just make penne with vodka sauce.

←

So...I would like to take this opportunity to say good bye you have all been wonderful....Yes I am assuming a slow and painful death coming on

Potluck lunch was today. I brought in my giant vat of baked ziti and promptly refridgerated it. Enter the carved turkey, the roast pork, the rice and beans, the tossed salad, the potato salad and an armada of pies, all carefully placed on the table in the back of the office, AT 8 AM. Fast forward 11:30am the turkey is hauled off down the hall to the microwave...I wait about 15 min and head off to nuke the ziti...at some point the pork has joined the ziti and turkey on the microwave line.

10 min in the nuker...stir well add more cheese to the top, punch in another 10 min, sneak out for a cigarette. By the time I got back all was on the table with a line of 20. I joined the line took my plate of salmonella soufle and ate it all. Washed down with Pineapple soda, apple pie, cheesecake, and ice cream.

So food poisoning? probabley. oooh but what kind?

It was all very tasty

tracey

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Hi tracey. Glad to see that you survived the Thanksgiving office potluck. You know I'm usually rather uptight about eating stuff that hasn't been properly refrigerated; however, somehow I believe that the potluck faeries magically descend and sprinkle their hygienic faery dust over those various asundry containers of food. Actually I've always been pretty lucky to have work alongside some very good cooks. With that many people cooking and usually just one refrigerator, I expect that certain items are going to be left to linger so I just don't think about it, which of course makes perfect medical sense.

[divalasvegas]

I should prolly add my potluck nightmare scenario....

picture this - a pristine looking banana pudding.  looks yummy - the bananas aren't even browning.

so everyone takes a big scoop.

what does it taste like?

pink oil hair sheen.

the only thing i can think of is that whoever made it decided to het their hair "did" over the bowl of banana pudding.

i never ate anything she brought again.

i'm wary of office potlucks.  i know for a fact i have some nasty coworkers who don't wahs their hands.  and those people are at every job.

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Okay tryska how someone would get their pink oil hair sheen--and I know exactly which product you mean--near banana pudding is now giving me a gaggy lump in my throat. For real.

Yes, those folks who never think of washing their hands ever aren't just a problem because of what they bring (like you, I avoid their dishes entirely) but these are invariably the same people who like to double dip, squeeze chocolates or doughnuts brought to the office to "see if they like what's inside," or as one person did to an entire crock pot of curry chicken I brought, asked me "what was that," I told him and then he proceeded to run his finger through it for a "taste." Since he was an executive vice president, I resisted the urge to end his life right then and there. I did however anal-retentively removed all traces of where his finger touched the food as well as a substantial portion of food that surrounded it. Wow, getting even more nauseaous and ticked off as I write this.

[H. du Bois]

My own potluck disaster had nothing to do with the quality of the food.

One summer during college, I hosted a picnic at my parents' house, to which I asked everyone to bring a side dish to pass (I was grilling the meat). The first guest brought a potato salad. As did the second ... as did the third. From that point forward, it got very exciting - we began betting on whether each next guest would bring a potato salad.

And they did. Every single one of them.

Ellen

[tammylc]

My own potluck disaster had nothing to do with the quality of the food. 

One summer during college, I hosted a picnic at my parents' house, to which I asked everyone to bring a side dish to pass (I was grilling the meat).  The first guest brought a potato salad.  As did the second ... as did the third.  From that point forward, it got very exciting - we began betting on whether each next guest would bring a potato salad.

And they did.  Every single one of them. 

Ellen

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Wow. That's impressive. Was there at least some variety in the style of potato salads? I have at least 2 or 3 quite different recipes...

[tryska]

I should prolly add my potluck nightmare scenario....

picture this - a pristine looking banana pudding.   looks yummy - the bananas aren't even browning.

so everyone takes a big scoop.

what does it taste like?

pink oil hair sheen.

the only thing i can think of is that whoever made it decided to het their hair "did" over the bowl of banana pudding.

i never ate anything she brought again.

i'm wary of office potlucks.   i know for a fact i have some nasty coworkers who don't wahs their hands.   and those people are at every job.

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Okay tryska how someone would get their pink oil hair sheen--and I know exactly which product you mean--near banana pudding is now giving me a gaggy lump in my throat. For real.

Yes, those folks who never think of washing their hands ever aren't just a problem because of what they bring (like you, I avoid their dishes entirely) but these are invariably the same people who like to double dip, squeeze chocolates or doughnuts brought to the office to "see if they like what's inside," or as one person did to an entire crock pot of curry chicken I brought, asked me "what was that," I told him and then he proceeded to run his finger through it for a "taste." Since he was an executive vice president, I resisted the urge to end his life right then and there. I did however anal-retentively removed all traces of where his finger touched the food as well as a substantial portion of food that surrounded it. Wow, getting even more nauseaous and ticked off as I write this.

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OMG you are absolutely right - they do like to poke and prod and double dip and all sorts of stuff. now i'm skeeved out too.

I can't believe anyone would stick their finger in curry chicken meant for a crowd of coworkers. family maybe, but the folks you work with? gross.

[divalasvegas]

I should prolly add my potluck nightmare scenario....

picture this - a pristine looking banana pudding.   looks yummy - the bananas aren't even browning.

so everyone takes a big scoop.

what does it taste like?

pink oil hair sheen.

the only thing i can think of is that whoever made it decided to het their hair "did" over the bowl of banana pudding.

i never ate anything she brought again.

i'm wary of office potlucks.   i know for a fact i have some nasty coworkers who don't wahs their hands.   and those people are at every job.

←

Okay tryska how someone would get their pink oil hair sheen--and I know exactly which product you mean--near banana pudding is now giving me a gaggy lump in my throat. For real.

Yes, those folks who never think of washing their hands ever aren't just a problem because of what they bring (like you, I avoid their dishes entirely) but these are invariably the same people who like to double dip, squeeze chocolates or doughnuts brought to the office to "see if they like what's inside," or as one person did to an entire crock pot of curry chicken I brought, asked me "what was that," I told him and then he proceeded to run his finger through it for a "taste." Since he was an executive vice president, I resisted the urge to end his life right then and there. I did however anal-retentively removed all traces of where his finger touched the food as well as a substantial portion of food that surrounded it. Wow, getting even more nauseaous and ticked off as I write this.

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OMG you are absolutely right - they do like to poke and prod and double dip and all sorts of stuff. now i'm skeeved out too.

I can't believe anyone would stick their finger in curry chicken meant for a crowd of coworkers. family maybe, but the folks you work with? gross.

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Excellent point tryska. That's exactly how I feel. What's amazing are the clueless blank stares I get from people when I say that I prefer to ingest my food by someone who washes their hands and preferably without their saliva!

As for Mr. Squeezy, being that he was an overpaid, inside the beltway, executive vice president, I guess we shouldn't be too surprised.

Oh, and I have another one from my brother. He was at a recent potluck where a similar type of person was assigned the duty of cutting cake. Well this skank, er uh, woman each and every time she sliced a piece or two of cake, instead of using a glass of hot water and paper towel to remove the excess frosting/cake crumbs or even just scraping it she would run her fingers down the dull side of the knife, LICK THEM, and continue cutting the cake! Needless to say, my brother passed on that one.

[saskanuck]

Gross! to the knife/finger-licking and finger-dipping people. What the hell is wrong with them?

It's time for our company food fest/potluck again next week. Which means that there will be creamy dips, ham balls and all sorts of stuff sitting out on our table all day, and our office is a balmy 78 degrees right now.

After it sits out all day, the leftovers are carefully refrigerated for the next day.

I don't eat anything off that table after about 10 a.m if it's something that should be kept cold or hot One time someone brought a whole plate of egg salad sandwiches that people were still eating at about 4 p.m. that day.

Our lunch potluck is a little better, because most people do refrigerate or keep their food cool if required. We'll be treated to my boss' favourite salad: broccoli, cauliflower, bacon bits and sunflower seeds dressed with miracle whip and what tasted like a pound of sugar. Many people just love this, but I think it's revolting.

Edited December 1, 2005 by saskanuck (log)

[divalasvegas]

Gross! to the knife/finger-licking and finger-dipping people.  What the hell is wrong with them?

It's time for our company food fest/potluck again next week.  Which means that there will be creamy dips, ham balls and all sorts of stuff sitting out on our table all day, and our office is a balmy 78 degrees right now.

After it sits out all day, the leftovers are carefully refrigerated for the next day.

I don't eat anything off that table after about 10 a.m if it's something that should be kept cold or hot  One time someone brought a whole plate of egg salad sandwiches that people were still eating at about 4 p.m. that day.

Our lunch potluck is a little better, because most people do refrigerate or keep their food cool if required.  We'll be treated to my boss' favourite salad:  broccoli, cauliflower, bacon bits and sunflower seeds dressed with miracle whip and what tasted like a pound of sugar.  Many people just love this, but I think it's revolting.

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Sweet Jesus saskanuck! And I do mean sweet, considering the ingredients your boss uses in his "salad." I'm not being snobbish, since there are some things I've used Miracle Whip in, but that combo sounds pretty gagtastic to me and he probably used those fake bacon bits too. BTW, I like a nice egg salad sandwich as much as anyone, but don't think I've ever seen that offered on a holiday potluck buffet.

[saskanuck]

Diva, my boss is a she, and she thinks she's a real Martha Stewart. She is really artistically talented, and some of her food is pretty decent. But then she goes and makes things like that salad, and bleurgh.

Most of the people I work with are on low-fat, low-taste, low-carb or whatever diets, so any time there's food around that actually has taste, they fall upon it like a pack of starving wolves.

About the sandwiches; people bring some really weird things to our potluck, especially since some of them can't or don't cook, but want to bring something anyway. Those are the people who should bring nuts, chips or the like.

I'm the person in the group who everyone comes to for recipes, and a lot of people said they are looking forward to what I bring this time. I think I'm making a lemon/ginger bundt cake, a greek feta cheese dip, and possibly an apricot cheesecake if I get time. Not all on the same day, of course.

I like showing off a little at work with my food, I must admit. To egulleters, it wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary, but around here I'm a gourmet chef.

[ruthcooks]

Here's what I do to foil the "double dippers": I cut finger foods into one bite pieces, never serve finger foods without plates, and always put a spoon in everything that can possibly be dipped into. Even if it's someone else's food, I'll sneak in a spoon here and there. And I've never observed anyone double dipping if they can take as much dip as they like and put it on their plates.

[H. du Bois]

My own potluck disaster had nothing to do with the quality of the food. 

One summer during college, I hosted a picnic at my parents' house, to which I asked everyone to bring a side dish to pass (I was grilling the meat).  The first guest brought a potato salad.  As did the second ... as did the third.  From that point forward, it got very exciting - we began betting on whether each next guest would bring a potato salad.

And they did.  Every single one of them. 

Ellen

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Wow. That's impressive. Was there at least some variety in the style of potato salads? I have at least 2 or 3 quite different recipes...

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Dear tammylc:

Nope! We ended up with 8 variations on an American potato salad with mayonnaise theme (hey, it was the 70s!). It made for a memorable meal, though - we all thought it was hilarious. But I learned my lesson - now, if I ask people to bring things, I assign each one a particular task.

Ellen