Customers who are real jerks

[jaybee]

That's "tolerate".

After eating a meal I've prepared for them, my friends often say "you should open a restaurant."  Aside from the fact that I would not want to destroy my love for cooking by doing it for a living, I could not deal with the assholes that I know populate the business (as they do much of life).  Twenty years in the ad agency business I could barely contain my disdain for clients who acted like pricks. The stories Basil Dog tells of the way some customers behave, I would have trouble keeping from dumping the table on their laps and throwing them out the door. Can you just shrug it off and say as long as they pay the bill I'll take the money and ignore them?  I couldn't possibly.  Preparing and serving food for someone is such an intimate act, I only do it for people I really like. How do you deal with the anger you must feel when confronted by this element?

[Basildog]

Sorry to butt in before the big man, but i kinda like the jerks, it makes life interesting.I don't want a  room full of them, but 1 or 2 occasionally give the other nice guests something to laugh at.And when you know in the back of your mind that you can kick them out if you like, it does give you the confidence to not take any shit.Eg last week, table of 4 arseholes , late, loud, rude etc etc.One woman whined that there was no icecream on the menu, to which i explained that my ice cream machine had broken in 1/2.Head arsehole tells me that its not his problem, to which i say ,"yes it is, because you want icecream".Woman even wrote in the vistor's book "lovely dinner but no icecream", next to which i wrote"TOUGH!

Again, sorry to butt in  

[Jinmyo]

Also butting in: The jerks are in the front of the house. Who cares? Stay at the grill and mind your own business. They loved it, they hated it. Whatever. It's too good for them anyway. Heh.

[Paulazuchef]

Also sorry to butt in before AB...but I also don't mind the arseholes that much.  They make things more interesting.  I'm a pastry chef  and have to deal with customer's dopey comments all the time.  You can't let yourself be hypersensitive or you'll go crazy.  I just mumble under my breath..."You'll eat it and like it you F---wads".

[bourdain]

These days, I just suck it up and give the bastards what they want. I think customers who are genuinely abusive to floor staff--or to other customers--should be thrown unceremoniously into the street. I recently had the pleasure of actually doing this--physically grabbing someone by the scruff of the neck and hurling them out onto the sidewalk (they had drunkenly abused a table of women customers). I never felt so good in my life.

Hand comes down on shoulder from behind.

Me: "That's it. Get the fuck out. Now."

Customer: "But..but.."

Me: " Shut the fuck up you yellow mutt cocksucker."

Customer then forcibly spun around, frog-marched to the door, a solid push across the sidewalk.

Me: "And stay out!"

Naturally, I apologized to the ladies for my language and bought them dessert.

[akebono]

jeez, i woulda paid to have seen that..

isn't that how "Law and Order" started last week?

-ripped from the headlines inc.

[Basildog]

Out standing!.Way to go Mr Bourdain.

Can i just say how much i enjoyed your books.One thing i noted was your impression of British chefs not lending stuff to rivals when they are in the shit.This may be true in London, but everywhere i have worked, we have lent and borrowed on a regular basis.I'd hate you think we were all selfish bastards.

Thanks for doing such a great job with this Q+A session, much appreciated