I know

[jsolomon]

I went to one of the few restaurants in my town that even comes close to a proper dining experience. The food was very good. Their in-house beer was also without smirch.

But, in a 50 minute quick meal (we were catching a movie afterward), I think my table got visited by 4 different servers nearly every 3 minutes.

Is it valid to complain if the servers seem to hover?

[FabulousFoodBabe]

Is it valid to complain if the servers seem to hover?

←

You bet it's valid! What you describe sounds painful and intrusive. And annoying.

When it's happened to me, if I can't keep them at bay by saying stuff like, "may we catch your eye when we need something?" I make sure the manager knows when we leave.

[Chris Amirault]

How about saying, "I really appreciate the fact that y'all want to help me out, but I feel quite comfortable asking for assistance if I need it. Don't worry about coming over; I'll get you if I need you, ok?"

[Pontormo]

One bowl just isn't enough.

What's the best way to ask for more gruel?

--Oliver

[jgm]

This is an interesting issue that you raise. I've been in a similar position more than once, and I simply have not known what to do about it.

Case #1: New restaurant in town. Understandably, the staff is excited and enthusiastic. But how do you tell a waiter, who is trying to do his job well, that you don't need to speak to him every 3 minutes? We didn't have the heart to complain to his manager, because he genuinely was trying to serve us well. Obviously, he was new on the job. But the whole experience was not a good one, and we'll probably not go back. (The food was mediocre.)

Case #2: Local casual dining (not fast food) restaurant. Two of their best offerings are their hamburger and their salad with house dressing, and I ordered both. Other than a beverage, that's all I ordered. Our waiter disappeared from our area shortly after taking our order (and was seen making multiple trips to take out the trash), and someone else brought our food - everything but the salad. I reminded that person that I had also ordered a salad. I received a blank stare. Much later, our waiter visited, and again I asked for the salad. Several minutes later, another waiter asked how we were doing, and again I asked for the salad. A few minutes after that, I motioned to the nearest waiter and said something to the effect of "I'm gonna get ugly about it if I don't have my salad before I finish my burger." (That's a paraphrase, you understand.) Within a couple of minutes, our waiter appeared with my salad, and apologized all over himself. To save space, I will just say that he revisited the table many, many times, and tried many, many times to get me to accept a free dish of ice cream, which I told him many, many times I did not want. The whole thing culminated in my looking him in the eye, and saying "Just bring the f***ing check. And NO ice cream. OK?????"

In case #2, we went from egregious neglect to egregious overkill, and although I felt my entire meal probably should have been comped, it was not. It was not lost on me that the first several messages about the salad did not make it to our waiter, and that he genuinely felt bad about it. But good grief!

Does one address these issues directly with the waitstaff? "Do you realize your behavior is quite obnoxious?"

Or do you approach the manager, and probably get a well-meaning kid in trouble -- or worse?

[alexw]

personally, I would merely say.

"if I wanted your company for the whole meal I would have invited you instead", when they look a little dumbfounded at you, then request the floor manager and not leave it until your way out.

Alex.

[*Deborah*]

Usually a little bit of delayed response while you finish your conversation with your dining companion, and a bit of a blank look, are enough to get the message across without being snippy...