Ridiculous substitutions

[racheld]

My best friend works in a "crystal store"--one of those candles, cards, clairvoyant-on-call places. She is also a vegetarian, and her husband says that she is at a disadvantage---she has to model little tofu chickens to sacrifice.

[racheld]

Bottled lemon and lime juice subbed for fresh squeezed.

←

Are they not reminiscent of passing by a road-kill skunk on the highway?

[jgarner53]

Frozen non-dairy whipped topping in place of whipped cream. Especially on something as special as a birthday cake. Just eat the damned cream! It's your birthday!

In flipping through the new Cooking Light (which I'm willing to do except for baking), they have a whole article devoted to the birthday cake. One imposter for buttercream (Betty Crocker style bc, not Italian meringue buttercream) thickens it with a cooked flour/milk mixture (like a roux, but without the butter). If I wanted faux bechamel on my cake,...well, I wouldn't.

Life is too short to eat dietized versions of real desserts.

[Lone Star]

Dehydrated miced onion is the worst.

[Basilgirl]

Dehydrated miced onion is the worst.

←

Agreed, but it is a vital component in my Mom's French Dips she made me as a kid (and which I still make today - I almost panicked a few weeks back when I could not find them in the depths of my spice cabinet. Thankfully there they were.)

[Lone Star]

It is a vital ingredient for the "Dilly Bread" recipe I make every Thanksgiving too! I usually go and buy a new jar every year just for the few teaspoons I need. How long is it good for anyway?

French Dips...mmmmmm

[Basilgirl]

Well, I've had my dehydrated onions for a long time now. I guess they just lose their potency over time, like herbs? Maybe it's time to invest in a new jar.

By the way, my sister made Swedish meatballs once using dehydrated onions, but she didn't read the label and used the full amount of fresh onions called for. One of my earliest memories from childhood was her crying about her onion balls.

[Mabelline]

Holy onionoli, they've found onions in Egyptian tombs! What's the matter with reconstituted onions. There are certainly a lot of recipes (particularly from cultures that used these ingredients pre-refrigeration) where re-usable onions fit the recipe.

[FoodMan]

Cool Whip is evil, it tastes nothing like whipped cream.

The same goes for that crap in a jar that smells like butt (it does!) and goes by the name "chopped 'FRESH' garlic". I can smell that crap a mile away when a certian relative of mine decides to add it to poor innocent rice pilaf.

I use the powdered garlic and onion in rubs but nothing else. They DO NOT belong on salads/stews/sauces/soups/croutons/garlic bread to replace the very cheap real thing.

I also agree about the bottled citrus juice. People, limes are 10 for a dollar, all u have to do is squeeze. They don't even have seeds in them.

Elie

[NulloModo]

I've found bottled citrus juice to be about the same as fresh, at least where lemons and limes are concerned. Then again, I'm not drinking it straight, if i were it might change.

I've also found the chopped fresh garlic to be pretty much the same as actual fresh, just much less potent so you have to use a lot more, maybe it depends on the brand.

There is one really poor sub that comes to mind for me though, just reminded it from cafeteria duty today - foods that should be deep fried which are baked instead. Baked potato chips, tortilla chips, chicken nuggets, french fries, corn dogs, buffalo wings, etc, blech on them all.

[andiesenji]

Dehydrated miced onion is the worst.

←

I dehydrate onions, garlic and shallots as well as green onions and leeks, with great results.

Of course mine do not contain any preservatives or dessicants. I just slice or chop them and put them into the dehyrdrators.

[Chris Amirault]

I also agree about the bottled citrus juice. People, limes are 10 for a dollar, all u have to do is squeeze. They don't even have seeds in them.

←

Getting a cheap weekly lime supply is one of the main reasons we shop at Southeast Asian shops every Saturday, and Rose's Lime Juice (for mixed drinks) is the only non-squeezed citrus in our house.

But I know that some folks get the other crap because up here it's actually a lot cheaper than the real thing. Elie, in northeast supermarkets limes can be two for a buck, and lemons three for two bucks -- with no guarantees that they actually contain juice!

[potsticker]

there is no other for real butter. mmm. stupid lower cholesterol country crock. it really is a crock!

[fifi]

I have a family favorite for yellow summer squash that I stumbled on many years ago that absolutely has to have the dehydrated onion flakes. The flavor relies on toasting the flakes in butter before you put the squash in the pan. Yes, the stumbling part of the discovery is that I wasn't paying attention and inadvertantly browned the onion but soldiered on anyway.

Onion and garlic powder are a necessary component of many rubs and seasoning mixes that I make. Actually, the term should be granulated, not powder. I have finally learned that onion powder turns into a buliding product with impressive compressive strength in no time in our climate.

I have been known to use a bit of granulated garlic when I want just a touch of background flavor in a soup or stew and I am feeling particularly lazy. (A common occurence.) But not when the garlic is one of the stars of the dish.

I am not sure what the bottles of lemon and lime juice taste like but it isn't fresh squeezed. However, I can sympathise with folks that run into exorbitant prices for the fresh fruit. I think I would have to look for windows of opportunity (sales), buy up a bunch, have a squeezing party and freeze it.

Gad . . . I remember the WW substitutions back in the early 70s when my mother got on that kick. She actually did the whole Thanksgiving dinner one year. She would serve something, tell us about the subs, chirp something like "It tastes just like . . ." About the third time she did this we all screamed in unison "NO IT DOESN'T." We all had a good laugh and things went back to normal forever.