Animal fat

[andiesenji]

I am reminded of the daughter of one of my neighbors. When she visits her mom she won't eat the stuff her mom cooks, (pork chops, ribs and etc.,) as it is "too fat" but will open a can of Dinty Moore beef stew and heat that and eat it.

She also will stop at Krispy Kreme and bring a half dozen doughnuts, which she eats herself, as her mom has diabetes and won't touch them.

She doesn't see now foolish she looks.

[TheFoodTutor]

Once, when I was a cocktail waitress in a bar, I stopped by one of our little dishes of mixed nuts and picked up a couple of filberts, brazil nuts and almonds to toss in my mouth for a snack. A coworker of mine was sitting at the bar, getting ready to eat her dinner, and when she saw me eating a few nuts, she gasped and said, "OH! I don't know how you can eat those nuts! They're so fatty!" What was really ironic was that I looked at what she was eating for dinner: A huge plate of nothing but french fries and ketchup. We're talking about at least 500 calories worth of plain old fat and carbs with little or no nutritional value whatsoever.

That sounds about as logical as eschewing braised short ribs for Trader Joe's taquitos, all right. Where do people pick up this stuff?

[SKinCA]

It's tough to live in a "mixed marriage". I have one and food can be a constant source of turmoil when one has a different idea of eating from the idea held by one's spouse.

My husband really thinks that he's "eat to live" and not "live to eat". I think he's deluding himself into believing that - but that's a whole other thread. But the end result is that he's just not that into food.

I sometimes think that battles over food may not be battles over food at all, but over something more elemental. Someone upthread mentioned control issues and I think that's worth looking into.

Why don't you suggest that you and wife split the cooking duties? You can promise to eat whatever she makes without complaining and she can promise to do the same for you. She can go ahead and pick fat off as much as she wants - she just can't talk about it! And you can add fat to her offerings, you just can't comment on them. And I think it's critical that you both try not to predjudice your daughter in her eating habits at all - kids instinctively balance their own diets, given half the chance, in my opinion.

And if you'd like to branch out in your cooking, your wife may not be the right person to share that interest. I have food friends to talk about food so I don't have to talk to my husband about food. I know he just doesn't care that much about it. When I try out new things, I try them out on my food friends.

It took me a really long time to come to terms with my husband's real lack of interest in food in all its glorious permutations. But that's what eG is for - it's my surrogate food spouse!

This was kinda rambling. Just my 2 cents. Good luck!

[oraklet]

Joseph Mercola, to put it politely, is a crank.

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I have to concur.

Dude's received warning letters from the FDA.

Edit to add: more stuff from quackwatch.org

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all right, the methods used by mr. mercola to promote his products may not be legal - but he may be right about the facts. see for yourself:

http://www.google.dk/search?hl=da&q=the+ch...erol+myth&meta=

[oraklet]

To give you a sense of my wife's diet, I offer up here a list of Good -vs- Bad foods in her book:

WILL EAT:

Hummus

Baba

Pita bread

Falafel (baked, not fried)

Pesto sauce (canned)

Pasta

Cream sauce

Rice (brown, white)

Risotto

Salmon, tilapia, whitefish

Broccoli

Spinach (salad)

Yogurt

Guacamole

Mashed potatoes

WILL NOT EAT:

Tomatoes (fresh, canned, chopped, sliced, etc... all are bad).  May occasionally eat tomato sauce on pasta.  Pesto sauce would be preferred.

Peas (too smelly)

Carrots (bad texture)  Will drink carrot/apple juice out of the juicer.

Eggplant (OK only in baba gannougj)

Cauliflower (no nutritional value.  tastes bad)

Beans (Navy, black, kidney, lima, etc... tastes bad)

Green beans (tastes bad)

Zucchini (except when made into bread)

Fatty meats (see multiple descriptions previously listed)

Catfish (weird psychological aversion)

Greens (collard, mustard, etc... tastes only of vinegar)

Pears (weird texture)

Peaches (too fuzzy)

Squash (needs too much butter/sugar before it tastes good... defeating nutritional value).

My wife's eating habits are affecting the kids.  They love all the starchy foods (so do I) and are avoiding most green vegetables (except broccoli which gets served 4 times a week).

I don't want to turn my kids into a super-carnivore like their grandpa (3 eggs + 4 slices of bacon every day).  I just want them to try a lot of stuff... including animal fat once in a while.  It's not like I sit around and eat pork rinds all day. I've got some sense in me that tries to offer a well rounded meal.  I come to eGullet and get humbled every day when I see what others served for dinner.  My stuff looks like crap and is pretty basic.  I'm hoping to elevate my skills this year and 2 out of my 3 guests for dinner each night are finicky (God bless my 3 year old boy... He will eat most anything!!).

I'm not buying a preconceived aversion to spices either.  Lots of kids in India eat curry every day.  Why can't mine eat pepper? 

Harrumph.

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as others have said, there may be several things in this: habits formed in childhood, control issues, or even, perhaps, that your wife is a super taster?

anyway, some of the texture problems can be solved by different cuts and preparations. i actually hate chunks of boiled carrot but adore them when cut into batonnets or juliennes. cauliflour is almost a whole different thing, taste wise, when roasted in bits or slices as compared to boiled. and spices may be sneaked into meals where they're not seen as offensive as in their usual "surroundings". all of these tricks have worked wonders with my kids. fat - well, i can't think of any tricks there, except that once the 6-year old tasted pork fat on a grilled top class chop, he surrendered. but it's a tough one, no doubt.

good luck

[Gary]

I've tried the technique of slicing and dicing veggies into julienne. The amount of work -vs- the amount eaten (by my wife) doesn't justify the effort. We agree that "juicing" carrots and apples is good so at least she gets her veggies in a liquid form. I doubt it has much in the way of fiber but at least the vitamins get in her gut.

I'm gonna have to learn to avoid the "shock value" fat exhibits. I'll sneak it in elsewhere. The list of "OK foods" is pretty limited so my trick bag is nearly empty.

Maybe my next diversion will be a deeper dive into flavors (sherry, garlic, onion, curry, etc). The broccoli recipe in the New York Times got me started.

[kellycolorado]

I've tried the technique of slicing and dicing veggies into julienne.  The amount of work -vs- the amount eaten (by my wife) doesn't justify the effort.  We agree that "juicing" carrots and apples is good so at least she gets her veggies in a liquid form.  I doubt it has much in the way of fiber but at least the vitamins get in her gut.

I'm gonna have to learn to avoid the "shock value" fat exhibits.  I'll sneak it in elsewhere.  The list of "OK foods" is pretty limited so my trick bag is nearly empty.

Maybe my next diversion will be a deeper dive into flavors (sherry, garlic, onion, curry, etc).  The broccoli recipe in the New York Times got me started.

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Gary,

You're wife's diet sounds somewhat lacking in protein, vitamin D, vitamin A, zinc, vitamin C... not sure what else. Probably omega-3 fatty acids... Maybe she will like more things with the garlic and onions? They make everything taste better. :)

re: Mercola- I think he may be a tad overzealous but I like his emphasis on raw milk cheese, free range meat, wild salmon and coconut oil. A lot of his ideas are shared by a growing number of people especially regarding the healthy fats.

[JennyUptown]

I'm not crazy about the texture of fat on a piece of meat, so I'll leave it on the plate. I love bacon (who wouldn't?), but I prefer it well cooked so that the fat gets crispy. Chicken skin on a nicely roasted bird? Bring it on. But there's something about the chewiness of a hunk of fat on something like a pork chop or steak that just doesn't work for me.

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Ditto all of that. My fat-thing isn't related to calories or anything. It's that texture...the way it kind of clings to the inside of my mouth.

But bacon, crispy chicken skin (especially if it's from Palena here in DC! ), all of that is good with me.

[Gary]

Divorce proceedings are starting. My wife filed for divorce on Sept. 1st. Can't quite figure out the real reasons why. Maybe she's got a mid-life crisis. Maybe she's been too deeply changed by her immersion into the world of alternative medicine and holistic healing. She said that she has "changed" and that she wants "more". As if a good dad, good provider, devoted family guy like myself isn't enough.

I started on e-Gullet and LOVED the thread about "Self improvement through pastry and baking". I got hooked to this great community. Marital problems started flaring up and I completely suppressed my cooking desire... doing anything to please my wife. That mindset ended the day she signed off on the divorce complaint.

As of Sept. 1st, I have baked two trays of brownies and one batch of chocolate chip cookies. It is making me happy. It is making my wife fat. It is just a way to occupy my time before we have to tell the kids and start dealing with their emotional rollercoaster ride.

I've been through counseling. My wife won't go. The next step in my therapy is cooking... and LOTS of it. Thanks to everyone for providing the inspiration.

[EllenC]

Gary,

I am so sorry to hear things didn't work out. I have been through this kind of divorce and it is a very hard thing. I am praying for you and your family.

Speaking of Brownies and therapy, however, I have an outstanding recipe for gooey caramel brownies that totally rocks. I will post it when I get home. Very theraputic.

Good luck and keep cooking!

Ellen

Edited September 9, 2005 by EllenC (log)

[LynDel]

Oh Gary, I'm sorry to hear this. I think your wife's list is bogus and I think, as others have already mention, she can cook for herself.

I'm sorry she wasn't more willing to work with a counselor.

For what it's worth, I struggle with weight and cholesterol. That supposed unacceptable list your wife created is a crock. I eat all those things. Though I laugh that she'll keep the cream sauce. Alfredo sauce was one of the first items I stopped eating. My husband is a wonderful cook and though I can't always eat as much as I want, I certainly have a portion of it all. Except the fried food. My husband fries himself food and I get myself an alternative snack. Short ribs, foods cooked in olive or vegetable oil, all fish, I eat it all. For me it's about portion control.

Though I had to learn a lot from working with my nutritionist and I think your wife needs to become better informed about nutrition. Cooking Light magazine and the American Heart Association Healthy Heart Cookbook have wonderful recipes and appropriate substitutions.

[Gary]

EllenC,

Thanks for the kind words. Please post the brownie recipe ASAP. I don't drink, smoke or swear. Chocolate is the biggest vice in my life right now.

Gary

[EllenC]

Gary,

I don't drink or smoke either and chocolate is pretty big with me too. I hope you like this one. I posted it in RecipeGullet here. But for your convenience, here it is:

Gooey Caramel Brownies

8 oz sweet baking chocolate

1/2 cup butter

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1 cup sugar

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 eggs

1 package (14 oz.) vanilla caramels

1/4 cup cream

1 pkg (6 oz.) chocolate chips (1 cup)

1 cup coarsely chopped pecans

Heat oven to 350. Put foil into a 13x9x2 inch pan and grease the foil. Heat chocolate and butter in pan over low heat, stirring frequently, until melted. Off the heat, stir in dry ingredients, vanilla and eggs. Spread in pan. Bake 15 minutes.

While the brownie is cooking, heat caramels and cream over low heat, stirring frequently, until melted and smooth. Spread caramel mixture over brownies. Sprinkle with chocolate chips and nuts.

Bake 10 to 15 minutes of just until brownies begin to pull away from sides of pan. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Cut when cool.

Let me know what you think.

Ellen

[Werdna]

Show her some of these articles:

http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/full/80/5/1102#FN2

http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/full/80/3/...ournalcode=ajcn

Not only is fat-phobia unnecessary, it can be downright dangerous to restrict it too much