Why do restaurants allow this?

[rancho_gordo]

Why resent them for doing their job?

Or maybe the question should be , "Why reward them when they do their job so poorly?"

I can eat a frozen dinner with the TV on if I want that kind of a meal.

[whippy]

I find the 'do you need change' question offensive and don't frequent places that ask it.  I am a heavy tipper, but if I wanted the waitron to keep the change, I'd say so.  I only ever get asked this question in the US, by the way.  If a restaurant tried this in Asia or Europe (or Canada or Mexico, for that matter), they would be considered staggeringly rude

staggeringly rude is calling me a "waitron". think about it.

it's interesting that there's such an adversarial stance that underlies this thread. in my little "three ring binder" cafe we like our customers and our customers like us.

maybe it's a matter of class.

i'm glad i don't have to work in an environment where the superficial text of a question holds more sway than the care with which it is said.

peace out. whippy.

Edited April 18, 2004 by whippy (log)

[tommy]

i'm glad i don't have to work in an environment where the superficial text of a question holds more sway than the care with which it is said.

good point. in following this thread, i find myself a bit at a loss in understanding how people can take this comment universally offensive, as if no other factors are considered. i won't even start in about how people who are offended are often those who are looking for a reason to be offended. that discussion is probably best left for forums.armchairshrink.com.

[beans]

Why resent them for doing their job?

Or maybe the question should be , "Why reward them when they do their job so poorly?"

I can eat a frozen dinner with the TV on if I want that kind of a meal.

rancho --

Gripe if you must, but initiate that discussion without the benefit of quoting one of my posts out of context. What you surgically removed with precision was a part of a post expressing servers are doing their job and doing it well with suggestive selling. That is the goal of every restaurant manager and owner out there. It is their job, so why fault them for trying? A simple 'no thank you' will suffice!

Just about every six months a similar thread with similar sentiment pops up with those that want to dog pile onto 'all service sucks.' The server is presumptuous if they provide seven singles when they return change. The server sucks if they even ask if change is needed, while not looking through the bills. The server is stupid if they instead provide a five and two singles.

Geesz, I couldn't agree more with tommy! Work a day in the shoes of a server or restaurant owner and then some may possibly understand that they are not mind readers to one's psychological baggage that they cart around outlining how is best to be served and why! For heaven sakes, hasn't anyone ever tipped big to the poor fella/gal that had to put up with you?

[tommy]

and then some may possibly understand that they are not mind readers to one's psychological baggage that they cart around outlining how is best to be served and why!

not only one's, but to everyone's. as if all people are the same.

[Pan]

For heaven sakes, hasn't anyone ever tipped big to the poor fella/gal that had to put up with you?

Yes.

[rancho_gordo]

Gripe if you must, but initiate that discussion without the benefit of quoting one of my posts out of context.  What you surgically removed with precision was a part of a post expressing servers are doing their job and doing it well with suggestive selling.  That is the goal of every restaurant manager and owner out there.  It is their job, so why fault them for trying?  A simple 'no thank you' will suffice!

I think we have a fundamental difference of opinion on the dining out experience. I think their job is to wait on me and my job is to compensate them. It's that simple.

I think there might be a lot of regional differences as well. I rarely get the sales lines discussed in this thread and it's when I do that it's jarring. You'll might think it's just my old fart friends, but when I mentioned this, they tend to roll their eyes and say, "I hate when they do that!"

I'm the type of person who cringes when I have a difficult member of a dinner party. I send the waiters away if people can't get it together to order their frigging meal. I'm polite, I listen, I tip well (unless it's really bad) and I understand if someone spills hot soup on my head. Well, I would understand if it happened. I couldn't care less if the server can't remember who ordered what. At the same time, I don't want a new friend and I don't want the stress of being "sold" more than I want. I figure the restaurant had their chance with the menu and the specials. And I perceive the change thing as tacky. And in the end, my dining experience is all about me, not the waiter.

Just about every six months a similar thread with similar sentiment pops up with those that want to dog pile onto 'all service sucks.'  The server is presumptuous if they provide seven singles when they return change.  The server sucks if they even ask if change is needed, while not looking through the bills.  The server is stupid if they instead provide a five and two singles.

That's not what I said, either. But that the fact that some people, not just me, perceive this as a problem suggests it is a problem, reasonable or not. But I do have a hunch it's a regional thing. It's just rare to be pushed beyond a special here.

Geesz, I couldn't agree more with tommy!  Work a day in the shoes of a server or restaurant owner and then some may possibly understand that they are not mind readers to one's psychological baggage that they cart around outlining how is best to be served and why!  For heaven sakes, hasn't anyone ever tipped big to the poor fella/gal that had to put up with you? 

Since I have, for a very long time at one point in my life , I don't quite know how to answer this.

[ghostrider]

Often the people sitting at the table are splitting the bill and will need some change to complete the transaction amongst themselves. 

The server has no way of knowing this, and the offer to bring change may imply nothing more than a thoughtful inquiry having nothing at all to do with a tip.

Considering the math involved in this particular transaction, I'm inclined to agree.

What evidence do we have that the server wasn't simply trying to ask, "Do you need something smaller than a ten & a twenty back?"

Mayve the server isn't terribly articulate. Maybe English isn't his/her native language.

There are SO many reasonable explanations for the question, as opposed to the one self-serving explanation, why harp on it?

P.S. I too always tip in cash even when paying with CC, for the reasons noted above, unless I've been dissatisfied with the service.

Edited April 19, 2004 by ghostrider (log)

[beans]

Just about every six months a similar thread with similar sentiment pops up with those that want to dog pile onto 'all service sucks.'  The server is presumptuous if they provide seven singles when they return change.  The server sucks if they even ask if change is needed, while not looking through the bills.  The server is stupid if they instead provide a five and two singles.

That's not what I said, either.

Nor did I attribute you with same.

The beginning of a new paragraph is the beginning of a new thought -- in this case my personal rant that servers cannot possibly be all things to all people all of the time.