El Gordo's worst kosher candy competition

[SobaAddict70]

In the Passover thread, I came across this little gem of wisdom from El Gordo (Fat Guy):

Plus when guests ask what they can bring we usually let them bring entries for our "worst kosher candy" competition. The winner gets the worst kosher candy from the previous year.

What's dis? It has to be something god awful tasting, like fruitcake right?

Just curious here....I'm not even remotely Jewish.

Soba

[Gifted Gourmet]

In the Passover thread, I came across this little gem of wisdom from El Gordo (Fat Guy):

Plus when guests ask what they can bring we usually let them bring entries for our "worst kosher candy" competition. The winner gets the worst kosher candy from the previous year.

What's dis? It has to be something god awful tasting, like fruitcake right?

Some Passover candy is fine ... the Barton's candy offerings are marvelous and are kosher for Passover ... on the other hand, many other types of Passover candy are horrific ... coated with sugar, waxy and tasteless chocolates, etc. Depends on who makes it ....

Koppers makes a line of chocolate coated nuts, etc., which I do enjoy .... last year the worst choice was Manischewitz Fruit Slices ... they had zero fruit flavor and had a hard sugar coating all over them ... this year, I note with no small amount of joy, the fruit slices have the words "New" and "Improved Flavor" emblazoned on the wrappers ... someone must have complained other than yours truly ...

so, sucker that I am, I bought them once again .. when I open them next week, the truth will be apparent I daresay ...

[cakewalk]

Kosher for Passover candy. Well, when we were kids we used to sell the stuff for our Hebrew School, much like kids sell Girl Scout Cookies, etc. It was always a big thing. I think a lot of Jewish kids, all over the States, have had this experience. And the stuff was usually pretty awful (although it rarely stopped us from eating it). I mean, fruitcake would be a step up (especially if it was real cake ). Mostly it was pure sugar with as much artifical flavoring as possible.

[Gifted Gourmet]

And the stuff was usually pretty awful (although it rarely stopped us from eating it). I mean, fruitcake would be a step up (especially if it was real cake  ). Mostly it was pure sugar with as much artifical flavoring as possible. 

Cakewalk does know whereof she speaks .. it is an egregious affront to the tender tastebuds already scalded by the steaming chicken soup ...

[bloviatrix]

Fruit Slices are the absolute worst thing. They have a jellied texture. You chew and chew and chew, and it never breaks down. And then it gets imbedded in your molars. And flavors are no where to be found in nature.

[phaelon56]

I mean, fruitcake would be a step up (especially if it was real cake ). Mostly it was pure sugar with as much artifical flavoring as possible.

Mostly pure sugar would be an improvement from most of the fundraising candy that gets foisted off on us these days (I have co-workers with school-aged kids and I do buy from all to support their efforts) - everything these days seems to be filled with processed corn syrup sweetners.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Fruit Slices are the absolute worst thing.  They have a jellied texture.  You chew and chew and chew, and it never breaks down.  And then it gets imbedded in your molars.  And flavors are no where to be found in nature.

With last year's being the absolute worst candy known to civilized man ever ... how they ever thought they could pass them off on the hapless consumer is beyond me .... like I said, this year one last chance in my house!!!

[cakewalk]

Last Pesach I saw these blue fruit slices. Sort of a turquoise blue. I still can't imagine what fruit they were supposed to be like.

[Gifted Gourmet]

everything these days seems to be filled with processed corn syrup sweetners.

Except that corn sweeteners are not kosher for Passover ... they use other things ... for an equally dreadful effect ...

[SobaAddict70]

Last Pesach I saw these blue fruit slices. Sort of a turquoise blue. I still can't imagine what fruit they were supposed to be like.

Kind of like spearmint colored Listerine?

Could've been maybe blueberry?

You're not talking about something like "fruit rollups", are you?

Soba

[cakewalk]

Mostly pure sugar would be an improvement from most of the fundraising candy that gets foisted off on us these days ... everything these days seems to be filled with processed corn syrup sweetners.

Ah, that's where we "answer to a higher authority." Corn syrup is kitniot (legumes), which Eastern European Jews don't eat on Passover!

[Gifted Gourmet]

You're not talking about something like "fruit rollups", are you?

Soba

Not fruit roll ups .... check these out ....

http://www.manischewitz.com/docs/man_624.shtml

http://www.bissingers.com/category/detail/...l.php?item=3656

Edited April 1, 2004 by Gifted Gourmet (log)

[cakewalk]

Last Pesach I saw these blue fruit slices. Sort of a turquoise blue. I still can't imagine what fruit they were supposed to be like. 

Kind of like spearmint colored Listerine?

Could've been maybe blueberry?

You're not talking about something like "fruit rollups", are you?

Soba

Spearmint listerine is close, although a little more on the blue side than the green side. Maybe they were going for blueberry, but they missed by a long shot! And no, nothing as good as fruit rollups! (Which we used to call "shoe leather" way back when I was a young'un.) The fruit slices are shaped like a half-circle, flat, covered with sugar, and so phosphorescent that you need sunglasses to look at them!

[jhlurie]

Fruit Slices are the absolute worst thing.  They have a jellied texture.  You chew and chew and chew, and it never breaks down.  And then it gets imbedded in your molars.  And flavors are no where to be found in nature.

Hey, I actually like "fruit" slices, although I'll admit I didn't have last year's crop. Have they gotten noticeably worse in the past decade?

Sure they aren't "fruit". But most fruit flavored things aren't fruit. Then again, I know nothing of these new-fangled blue ones. I've had the classic day-glo orange, yellow, red and green.

Me, I'm a kosher Macaroon hater... tastes like sewage.

And Soba... stop confusing the new folks here by giving a guy who already has a nickname a nickname for his nickname!!!

[bloviatrix]

Me, I'm a kosher Macaroon hater... tastes like sewage.

Those are another thing I despise. They're awful. Plus, have you ever looked at the nutritional content? They're loaded with hydrogenated fats. I think I feel my arteries hardening just typing about them.

People, do yourself a favor -- make your own. It's easy. And they're so much better tasting.

[Ellen Shapiro]

As FG's "higher authority" I'd like to make a correction--we always had a "who could bring the most disgusting kosher for Passover candy product" contest as well as the "Grossest Manischewitz wine" category. The wine was saved for the following year's seder (a great honor for the winner of the category) and the candy category winner got all of their glory on the spot. Visually inspecting the candy offerings has never qualified for voting--tasting is critical (though the presentation of the candy is an important factor).

The Koppers candy products are excellent specimens in the edible Kosher for Passover candy category. Most of the Barton’s chocolates are good too. The Manischewitz stuff is terrible—the fruit slices are dreadful (I could only find M fruit slices last year and even I couldn’t eat them--and that’s saying something). There are other brands of fruit slices, however, and I actually enjoy (in a sick and perverse sort of way) the pain/horror of eating them once a year. I’m with Jon though, those canned macaroons are the worst—they bear a shocking resemblance to sawdust.

[Gifted Gourmet]

The Koppers candy products are excellent specimens in the edible Kosher for Passover candy category. Most of the Barton’s chocolates are good too. The Manischewitz stuff is terrible—the fruit slices are dreadful

Many thanks for validating my choices as mentioned earlier, Ellen! I sometimes think it is only me who finds some of the Passover food offerings lacking ...

Koppers and Barton's are in my pantry already and I have even gotten "into" the chocolate covered almonds because there "is nothing interesting left in the house to eat" ....

[JennotJenn]

Reminds me of The Disgusting English Candy Drill from Gravity's Rainbow.

[bloviatrix]

.......there "is nothing interesting left in the house to eat" ....

I just peeked into the freezer. I don't think it's been this empty since....last Pesach. The fridge is equally empty as all the half full condiment jars have been tossed.

Since so much of the Pesach stuff is lacking, I stick with fresh fruit and nuts. But, my mil has a source for amazing butter crunch which I find myself jonsing for.

[Gifted Gourmet]

.......there "is nothing interesting left in the house to eat" ....

I just peeked into the freezer. I don't think it's been this empty since....last Pesach. The fridge is equally empty as all the half full condiment jars have been tossed.

Since so much of the Pesach stuff is lacking, I stick with fresh fruit and nuts. But, my mil has a source for amazing butter crunch which I find myself jonsing for.

One year we were down to a half jar of old mint jelly (presumably destined to be part of a lamb dinner festival here) and a half box of stale yellow cheese crackers ... it was pathetic ...

Tomorrow, purchasing dairy products and produce for the Sunday cooking to begin in earnest ...

Recipe for the matzo butter crunch is on my desk as it is with the Apple Matzoh Kugel ... sugar fix anyone??

[cakewalk]

Also, there's lots of chocolate covered marshmallow stuff. And it has to be the most disgusting marshmallow ever invented. Truly vile. As opposed to melting in your mouth this stuff just sort of ... disintegrates.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Also, there's lots of chocolate covered marshmallow stuff. And it has to be the most disgusting marshmallow ever invented. Truly vile. As opposed to melting in your mouth this stuff just sort of ... disintegrates.

And those chocolate covered gels? orange peels? Is there anything one can't coat with that carwax chocolate veneer?? oh yeah, brisket!!

[bloviatrix]

Actually, Oppenheimer (an Israel company) makes fairly good chocolate covered orange peels.

Do you all remember the big Bartons box with assorted "truffles?" There was one with a pink (raspberry, maybe?) cream that tasted like liquid penicillin. Yuck.

[Kenk]

Sugarless chocolate Yuk.

[Gifted Gourmet]

Actually, Oppenheimer (an Israel company) makes fairly good chocolate covered orange peels.

Do you all remember the big Bartons box with assorted "truffles?" There was one with a pink (raspberry, maybe?) cream that tasted like liquid penicillin. Yuck.

Penicillin, huh? Quite an upgrade in the candy domain!!

Have begun to nibble at the stashed Pesach candy since I read this thread....

not a good thing whatsoever!!