Worst coffee in the world

[m(a)ce]

Seattle's Beast. I mean Best.

[GrizzyLemon]

I work for a state agency and we have three large boxes of some coffee called 'brisk'. Nobody knows how old it is, we can't find any dates on it and they won't buy us anymore until we finish it up. Nobody drinks it, because it doesn't even smell like coffee, it smells like dirt when you open up the little bags. We have taken to bringing in our own coffee which means that either it is very good or it's bad, depending on who made it, who brought it, what it was, etc. We have some co-workers who look at the color of the coffee and if they can't see through it, they pour out the whole pot and make a new one using less coffee because the dark stuff is 'too strong for their stomachs'. Then there are those who want to add things to the coffee to make it taste better, anything from salt to cinnamon. Then there are the ones who look at you knowingly and wink and say "hey, the next pot is going to be this new gourmet blend from snobsareus, be sure to get a cup".

[fresco]

Has anyone thought about taking up a collection and buying some decent coffee? Probably cost you each about 25 cents a day. A bargain, considering your present alternative.

[GrizzyLemon]

Yeah, we do have a coffee jar with a sign asking for donations to the "java god", which goes to buy whatever is on sale (usually folgers), which is much better than 'brisk', at least.

[phaelon56]

Barely warm, barely brewed...sipped dejectedly while sitting on the underside of a neon orange and pink bedspread , watching the local news on TV, which is being drowned out by the ancient AC unit whose controls have been so overused that they don't really function anymore.

Frikadella - does that mean it was you in the room next door to me at the Clifton NJ HoJo a few weekends ago?

As for good coffee at work - we found a solution that really works but required stepping up to the plate financially. Four of us who are serious about coffee kicked in just over $80 each and bought a refurbished Saeco Veneto superauto espresso machine from Aabree Coffee. We take turns buying beans. This liottle machine grinds, tamps and dispensed anything from a psuedo espresso shot up to a 10 oz "regular coffee". It's not worth a darn for making real espresso and the steaming power makes it inadvisable for cappas but it makes a GREAT cup of regular coffee and very good Americanos. It needs the bin with pucks of spent grounds to be emptied a couple times a day and I clean it once each week (about a 5 - 10 minute process). I'm really amazied that after six months of constant use (ten to twenty cups per day, sometimes more, five days per week) it still just chugs along. We just take turns bringing in half pound bags of good beans.

[John Whiting]

At a lot of restaurants in Mexico they serve Nescafe. They actually bring you a cup of hot water and the bottle of Nescafe so that you can add as much as you want

Nes is also quite popular in Greece. I wouldn't call it coffee, but it grows on you after a while. I've mostly seen it served as an iced blender drink.

It's also served in Brazil, I'm told, where it is commonly called No Es Café.

[ludja]

too many choices for worst coffee--and I agree, airline coffee ranks up there as the worst...

But a bad coffee 'incident' involved being at a Safeway very early in the am and wanting to get a coffee. The clerk came out to make it, in a huge container and was going to add one 'packet' of coffee for the whole urn. It looked like the amount of coffee you would use to make one or two cups!!!

I persuaded her to use *two* packets. Yipee!

[Moopheus]

Like Alton Brown says, most folks say they hate strong coffee, but they really hate bitter coffee. And brewing with less means more bitterness, less body.

Too true! Most of the time when you're getting that bad coffee at the airport, the hotel, fast food joint, etc., you're getting severely overextracted coffee, which is what makes it taste bitter and weak at the same time. It doesn't help that they're probably starting with cheap crap to begin with.

There is bad coffee I'll admit to kind of liking: the coffee that you get on the highway that comes out a machine with the tea and cocao (but no soup). Hit the extra, extra "creamer" and sugar buttons, and that sludge WILL keep you awake until you're home. It seems in recent years some of the older machines have been replaced with fancier machines that make "cappucino" and "espresso", and the coffee is slightly less rude, but also not so caffeinated.

[fresco]

My impression, and it's just that, is that the coffee served in hotels and run of the mill restaurants in the US is on the weak side compared with coffee in other countries, including Canada. Although it's certainly possible to get see-through coffee in Canada.

[hillbilly]

Worst coffee? Hmm, so many to choose from, but I'm reminded on a daily basis that our office has a coffee service that delivers (right to our breakroom) the worst tasting coffee in the known universe. They have a Bunn machine, and those little foil baggies of coffee. The machine never gets cleaned ( a huge problem right there) since it's a direct line, and who knows when the filter was even looked at. The coffee tastes like a cross between beef bullion and the water green beans get boiled in. Weird. Some days it can be as appetizing as weak vegetable soup with a slightly salted, bitter aftertaste. Yum. The bigger problem is that our company is under contract with this foodservice and we can't bring in any other coffemaking devices. Help!

On the flip side there's a diner within walking distance of my house that has great coffee. A great treat on a saturday morning.

[melkor]

I've found a new low. I got a set of Illy collector cups from their 2001 series, it came with a can of pre-ground coffee which makes by far the nastiest espresso shot in the world. They aren't kidding about the expires in febuary 2003 thing they printed on the bottom of the can. Yick.

[JAZ]

I've found a new low. I got a set of Illy collector cups from their 2001 series, it came with a can of pre-ground coffee which makes by far the nastiest espresso shot in the world. They aren't kidding about the expires in febuary 2003 thing they printed on the bottom of the can. Yick.

I know people who swear by Illy, but I've never tasted any Illy coffee, ground or whole bean, that was better than mediocre.

[laurenmilan]

I know people who swear by Illy, but I've never tasted any Illy coffee, ground or whole bean, that was better than mediocre.

LOL, I've had that experience as well! Maybe it's an "emperor's new coffee" kinda thing - everyone thinks it tastes terrible, but almost no one admits it for fear of looking "unsophisticated."

[phaelon56]

I've had a passable espresso shot from Illy - not great but passable. I suspect the fact that it came from an apparently fresh can of whole bean was probably the reason but a few days after opening the can it had gone noticeably flat. I'm told by folks with a fair knowledge of things Italian that the Illy sold there is very much different (and better) than the export product. I suspect that another issue relating to the abundance of fairly wretched Illy served in this country is preparation. Cafes or restaurants who are buying it because of the name cachet are most likely to be far less knowledgeable about things espresso and most likely to be among those with the worst process and technique. Take an average or even better than average coffee in the hands of an incompetent or uncaring barist, add in a poorly maintained machine.... true caffienated dreck is the inevitable result.

Illy is not alone - some of the best commercial bagged espresso I've ever had was some LaVazza my former GF brought back from a trip to Italy. She went into a grocery store and "bought what everyone else was buying". Several months later we were on the Mass Turnpike and spotted a "LaVazza Espresso Cafe" at the rest stop. They erved me whwat was quite possibly the worst.... absolute worst espresso I've ever had.

[laurenmilan]

Several months later we were on the Mass Turnpike and spotted a "LaVazza Espresso Cafe" at the rest stop. They erved me whwat was quite possibly the worst.... absolute worst espresso I've ever had.

I've been to that one too! Man, with that trip home the last thing I needed was such an undrinkable caffeine supply...

[coughy]

The thing I hate most is getting a bad cup of coffee after a great dinner. We had a beautiful meal last summer and the coffee was terrible. We have yet to go back to the restaurant. What I don't understand is pricey restaurants using cheap coffee.

[QuinaQuen]

Thru out most of the "West Coast", including "Seattle". the worst coffee served at some places even with acceptable food is "Farmer Brothers", the stuff is colored like brown tea water, just tastes like dishwater, but worst. only needs to be tickled with any dairy type product to become biege colored. This is appearently the "Coffee" of choice served at many offices.[ Those without expresso machines.]. I've had the stuff in California, Arizona, Oregon and Washington State. Gives me the shudders. Irwin

One of my co-managers used to work as a door-to-door for Farmer Brothers. He has offered me their best, and it's still foul!

Oh, and by the way, he told me about some of his accounts, and it's not very pretty. Let's just say that it's not adviseable to order coffee at even the most expensive swankiendas in your hometown. Crap ain't just for cubicles anymore, folks.

[birder53]

Bad coffee in the morning is a major problem. I can go without coffee after dinner but not breakfast! Heading out for breakfast can be very risky, especially on vacation. Much to my husband's chagrin, I've insisted on bringing my own cup of coffee to a few breakfast joints that just don't serve good coffee. I prefer to drink coffee from Quick Check than some of the vile brews out there. While this has gotten a few odd looks, no one has thrown me out or taken away my brew. I let them know while I like their food, I can't drink their coffee. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

[stephenc]

Sanka

[sequim]

Starbucks.

I think it is crap and expensive.

You would kill for a Starbuck's if you had to drink what's called coffee in the midwest. I found the same thing in Florida. Now that I think about it, most regular restaurants serve bad coffee, even here in coffee capital, Seattle. And even when they advertise fresh ground, it's been so watered down, it still tastes like Folgers.

[wesza]

Starbucks.

I think it is crap and expensive.

You would kill for a Starbuck's if you had to drink what's called coffee in the midwest. I found the same thing in Florida. Now that I think about it, most regular restaurants serve bad coffee, even here in coffee capital, Seattle. And even when they advertise fresh ground, it's been so watered down, it still tastes like Folgers.

In Seattle and on the whole West Coast "FARMER BROTHERS" has got the Crown for the WORST SLUGE" [lght brown, always translucent] that stull is awful.

I'm amazed that in local Bars where its the preferred Coffee brew for whats called a "Nudge", but it's even welcomed for Irish Coffees or whatever.

Many offices use it for their employees, that attributes to the success of our Expresso places every few hundred feet or less thru our downtown area.

Irwin

Edited January 21, 2004 by wesza (log)

[Lawdawg]

In a museum "snack shop" in Washington D.C...

Teenage girl with the starbucks machine makes me a vanilla latte. Mind you, this is not an expresso machine, it is a press-one-button-and-the-machine-does-everything-because-you-are-too-stupid-to-operate-a-real-machine-without-third-degree-burns-you-moron type machine.

Now, I got a vanilla latte because I was buying two and the girl I was with liked them and I was...you get the idea. Anyway, this coffee counter girl apparently had an obnoxious sweet tooth and squirted at least three or four shots of vanilla into the tepid, tasteless brew that emerged from the machine.

One of the few times in my life I have thrown cofffee away after one or two sips.

[paul mitchell]

Well duh, of course St**b**cks.

[Singapore]

I second on Nescafe. When I went to China in '93, that was the only coffee available. I was forced to turn to Coca Cola for my caffeine fix.

[AzRaeL]

McDonald's CrapCoffee