Competition Round Two: Tom Swifties

[maggiethecat]

... she said wantonly.

We'll be announcing the winners of the first Golden Gully awards this week and publishing the full archive of submissions at the end. In the meantime, let's get started on the next topic:

The Tom Swiftie is an adverbial pun. Edward L. Stratemeyer, in the original Tom Swift books, had his Boy Hero use adverbs that mirrored what he was saying.

One line, EGullet wits! And Tom Swift wants something about food. Greedily.

Swifties are meant to be bad, so go ahead, be shameless. Like so:

"Pass the grapes!" said Veronica soulfully.

"You call that good chocolate?" she snickered.

"I don't have to do this for a living," said the pastry chef tartly.

"Leftover schnitzel tonight," she revealed.

"Too much vermouth in my martini," he said dryly.

Ignore what Elmore Leonard says. Love those adverbs! And win that T-shirt.

As before, just post your submissions here. They'll be held in a queue, read by the judges, and released when we announce the winners.

Friday at midnight: your deadline.

[snowangel]

Tom Swifties. I have not had a "witty" week. All of the kids have colds and are whiny. But, here goes:

"Why Klink, let me count the ways...brisket, kielbasa, ribs, pork shoulder..." murmurred Batgrrrl smokily.

"Waiter, I ordered this steak black and blue, not well done" beefed Jinmyo rawly.

"A cornichone. Just an expensive dill pickle if you ask me," sneered Bertha sourly.

"Honey, don't forget to butter and flour the cake pan" said Mom dryly.

"Darling, but that salad is a 3-day garlic commitment; eat it and you sleep alone" informed his beloved odoriferously.

Edited April 26, 2003 by snowangel (log)

[maggiethecat]

It's Friday, so that means the Deadline Cometh. Midnight, Adverbial Punsters!

Midnight in a time zone of your choice.

[foodie52]

"Life is short...eat two desserts first", he said expansively.

[foodie52]

"Hollandaise....how I hate it," she said, brokenly.

[foodie52]

She icily admonished the waiter, "Sorbets are served between courses."

[foodie52]

"God, I hate souffles," she said flatly.

[foodie52]

"Hot dogs? I don't give a damn...." she said frankly.

(Think about this one.....)

[foodie52]

"You always complain about my coffee," he observed bitterly.

(Had enough yet, Maggie?)

[foodie52]

"Your knives need sharpening,"she said pointedly, her steely eyes flashing.

[foodie52]

"Why does your fruitsalad always contain canned pineapple?" he asked dolefully.

AND:

"Que syrah, syrah", she murmured fruitily.

That's my last one, I promise.

Good night

[Xanthippe]

"I loathe flaccid bacon," she stated crisply.

"You call that a knife-sharpening job??" the Executive Chef asked cuttingly.

"I need those green beans prepped now!" the sous chef barked snappily.

"Whasshhh good to eat at thishh place?" the drunk at the Jamaican restaurant mumbled jerkily.

"Give me an extra dollop of that chipotle salsa, honey," the vamp purred smokily.

"I enjoy a good Gewurztraminer with my strudel," she said spicily.

"Ouch! I nicked my knuckles when I grated that rhizome," he winced gingerly.

[Richard Kilgore]

"The souffle collapsed," Chef Tom said flatly.

"Bourdain's on tour," Fat-Guy said tonily.

"Where have all the flour's gone?", the pastry chef sang folksily.

"Where does Maggie get off grilling fish," the chef said catily.

[snowangel]

A couple more:

"But mommy, why can't we eat the big goldfishy fish in your garden pond?" asked Peter coyly. (assuming homonyms apply, but then again, just about anything probably goes with egullet )

And, finally, because one so rarely uses the adverb in the following:

"I can't believe you'd serve me fries fried in lard," his vegetarian friend protested unctiously.

[MySiuMai]

"Emeril's whiskey sure packs a punch," said the bamboozled broad wryly.

[jhlurie]

"Come here, sugar" the Candyman said sweetly.

Actually that one's kind of creepy.

Next time maggie, lets try a captioning contest.

[Tani]

I know it's past the deadline but I'm hoping you haven't judged them all yet -

"You have the last piece, Clarice. Your appetite is definitely bigger than mine", Dr. Lector admitted manfully.

[Marlene]

"Not quite to my taste" he said sourly.

[eatingmike]

Michael judiciously savored every bite of his matzo ball.

[eatingmike]

The blonde teasingly nibbled her amuse-bouche as her date precipitously declared, "it sure is warm in this joint!"

[eatingmike]

"These ribs are skimpy!", he said disparagingly.

[eatingmike]

"I wanted my eggs sunny side up, and these are over-easy!", he flippantly told the waitress

[eatingmike]

"No one really sucks the heads on these crawfish, do they?", she wondered fallaciously.

[Fat Guy]

The third place winner was announced today in The Daily Gullet. Second and first place winners will be announced on Wednesday and Friday of this week. Once all the winners are announced, the honorable mention entries will be published here on this thread. Congratulations to our third place winner!

[Holly Moore]

"The third place winner was announced today," proclaimed Fat Guy showily.

Edited May 5, 2003 by Holly Moore (log)