While I can't disagree with most of the points (funny, too!), I have to say I'd prefer Bourdain in a foxhole too -- he strikes me as someone who'd go totally berserk on the enemy. Then again, he could go nuts and break a truce or something, and, as Shane Torres said, get everyone killed.
Is this a new game? Who'd you rather be in a foxhole with -- Channing Tatum or Chris Pine? Kevin Bacon or Kiefer Sutherland? Mario Batali or Bobby Flay...?