Chinese take-out

[eatingwitheddie]

Home delivered Chinese take-out is comfort food. Any memorable stories or comments? Anyone pull a cat out of the bag?

[Simon Majumdar]

Chinese food in the Uk always used to be delivered in those practical but unglamorous foil trays ( now of course, well in my local place anyway, we get those rather useful tupperware trays that are handy for putting other stuff in after you have cleaned them )

The first time I went to the US way back when. I arrived in Houston to be met by my Aunt and Uncle ( he had the sleeves of his jacket rolled up, so I am guessing this was c1980, but bizarrely can't remember exactly ) who announced that they were getting take out from their favourite Chinese place on the way home. The excitement at eating Chinese direct from those square little boxy cartons, just like I had seen them do on Starsky & Hutch, was palpable. Doubly so as they came with free chopsticks. Unfortunately the food was vile, but, heck, what great packaging. If only I had had one of those Paul Michael Glaser Cardigans as well.............

Oh, I did get a deep fried mouse once in a Glasgow carry out as well, but that is a whole 'nother story

S

[eatingwitheddie]

Oh, I did get a deep fried mouse once in a Glasgow carry out as well, but that is a whole 'nother story

OK you wet our appetites....let's hear this one!

[Anna N]

Not quite on topic and not quite off - our now-defunct local Chinese takeout tried to please all of the people all of the time and offered English fish and chips on the menu - worst fish and chips I have ever seen or smelt in my life. But they made the most amazing Chinese chicken wings - miss those like crazy.

[Simon Majumdar]

OK

Imagine if you will, a cold grey damp night ( is there any other sort in Glasgow? ) in 1983. I had been in Glasgow to visit a girlfriend whom I had met at a university party and got on with quite well ( for that read she had not yet called the police ) and we had been out for a meal ( grim old style Italian trat with equally grim old style Italian food ) Half way through the meal we get into a heated argument about whether it was moral to buy South African apples ( I am not kidding, but in my defence, I was 19 and these things matter when you are that age ) and I storm off in a huff, forgetting of course that I have no idea where I am and, much more importantly where her student house is. I also stormed out without eating nary a breadstick.

End result. I decide to go to the train station and catch the milk train back down to London and en route find the only place that was still open, a Chinese take Away with the bizarre name ( and I remember this as there was a place with the same name until recently on Gerrard St in London which always reminded me of this incident) of The Man Lee Hong.

Minutes later with a spring roll, egg fried rice and something in lemon sauce ( price £2.50 - I should have known ) I sat in the station and ate my miserable meal feeling equally miserable. My first bite of the spring roll revealed the back half of a mouse in all its glory, deep fried. Where was the other half? In my mouth.

I was immediately violently sick on the platform, just as the train pulled into the station. I threw the whole meal in the bin and climbed on board

The trip back down to London was an horrific combination of bouts of vomiting followed by bouts of self pity at my empty stomach and even emptier heart

Oh, and I never saw her again

S

[eatingwitheddie]

OK

Imagine if you will, a cold grey damp night ( is there any other sort in Glasgow? ) in 1983.  I had been in Glasgow to visit a girlfriend whom I had met at a university party and got on with quite well ( for that read she had not yet called the police ) and we had been out for a meal ( grim old style Italian trat with equally grim old style Italian food )   Half way through the meal we get into a heated argument about whether it was moral to buy South African apples ( I am not kidding, but in my defence, I was 19 and these things matter when you are that age ) and I storm off in a huff, forgetting of course that I have no idea where I am and, much more importantly where her student house is.  I also stormed out without eating nary a breadstick.

End result.  I decide to go to the train station and catch the milk train back down to London and en route find the only place that was still open, a Chinese take Away with the bizarre name ( and I remember this as there was a place with the same name until recently on Gerrard St in London which always reminded me of this incident) of The Man Lee Hong.

Minutes later with a spring roll, egg fried rice and something in lemon sauce ( price £2.50 - I should have known ) I sat in the station and ate my miserable meal feeling equally miserable.  My first bite of the spring roll revealed the back half of a mouse in all its glory, deep fried.  Where was the other half?  In my mouth.

I was immediately violently sick on the platform, just as the train pulled into the station.  I threw the whole meal in the bin and climbed on board

The trip back down to London was an horrific combination of bouts of vomiting followed by bouts of self pity at my empty stomach and even emptier heart

Oh, and I never saw her again

S

Oh the things we do for love (and sex)!

[eatingwitheddie]

In our Bklyn neighborhood someone opend a take-out oriented toward the black Muslim community. It seemed to conform to halal dietary laws and named itself 'No Pork-Long Life Restaurant.' Apparently they were astute about the marketplace and a competitor quickly sprung up nearby. Imitation is truly the sincerest form of flattery for they called themselves: 'No Pork-Long Line Restaurant.'

Funny thing, 'Long Line' is now out of business - but 'Long Life' lives.

[Jinmyo]

Simon, I don't know whether to cry or laugh. So I'll laugh.

[Louisa Chu]

My first bite of the spring roll revealed the back half of a mouse in all its glory, deep fried.  Where was the other half?  In my mouth.

Good story. But here's the problem with it. You mean to tell me that some cheap, greasy chopstick Chinese joint rolled an egg roll with a mouse in it? Or that somehow it burrowed in and got deep fried with no one noticing? My problem with this story is being too intimately familiar with cheap Chinese takeout joints is that they would have filled those suckers with cheap veggies, miserly portioning out any meat - mice included. But still a great visual.

[Simon Majumdar]

I always assumed that they bought the rolls in from some place where they were mass produced as opposed to making them in the place.

I think you are giving too much credit to the take outs of Glasgow if you imagine a place like this had someone dilligently making spring rolls in the back room.

[Louisa Chu]

I guess I was - but then again I have a great deal of fondness for all things Glaswegian.

I still challenge this as urban legend. An original variation but it smack of urban legend nonetheless.

[Simon Majumdar]

I guess I was - but then again I have a great deal of fondness for all things Glaswegian.

I still challenge this as urban legend. An original variation but it smack of urban legend nonetheless.

Short of a time machine, not sure what else I can do to help persuade you. But I am glad you can throw doubt on one of the more painful experiences of my life

S

[Louisa Chu]

Sorry - it's just my manner.

[NeroW]

Simon--

My first bite of the spring roll revealed the back half of a mouse in all its glory, deep fried. Where was the other half? In my mouth.

That's horrid. Horrid. My father attests to this day, no matter how we scream "Urban Legend" at him, that he found a rat's tail in some Dee-troit Chinese chicken wings. Got to love the D.

I think you are giving too much credit to the take outs of Glasgow if you imagine a place like this had someone dilligently making spring rolls in the back room.

LOL.

[Simon Majumdar]

Sorry - it's just my manner.

Don't worry about it.

Although the mouse thing is definitely a true part of my sordid past, it is probably one of the better things that has happened in my love life

In fact if I had to choose between the rest of the mouse and being married to my splenetic harridan of an ex-wife, I would be chomping on the tail end right now, ahem!

S

[maggiethecat]

splenetic harridan

Hey! I thought that my husband coined that phrase!

Oh well, we harridans can be cute and cuddly on occasion. The softer side of harridanhood.

[tommy]

growing up, i was fed canned, and sometimes frozen vegetables. fresh veggies didn't seem to make their way into my world. and when they did, they were overcooked to the point where they just weren't good.

i remember distinctly, when i was about 20 yrs old, sitting in a friend's room in a frat house in college...we ordered chinese food. i didn't know much about chinese food (well, even less than i do know). but, the dish was beef and broccoli. i recall having a piece of broccoli. it was firm, crunchy, and covered in a slightly sweet and slightly salty sauce. from that point on, i realized that i actually *liked* broccoli.

i credit my love of most vegetables to my introduction to what was probably mediocre chinese take-out. thank god for mediocre chinese takeout.

[tissue]

splenetic harridan

Hey! I thought that my husband coined that phrase!

Oh well, we harridans can be cute and cuddly on occasion. The softer side of harridanhood.

What's a harridan?

[maggiethecat]

Quick Google:

1. A scolding, vicious old woman. 2. A worn-out strumpet; a vixenish woman; a hag. ...

I don't believe, however that one must be old to be a harridan.

Edited January 24, 2003 by maggiethecat (log)

[maggiethecat]

thank god for mediocre chinese takeout.

Yes. Nutritious, cheap, and Back in the Day, as close to exotic cuisine as most of us knew.

That first egg roll! What a Thing! I'd never eaten anything like it. Who knew cabbage could taste that good?

[Simon Majumdar]

Quick Google:

1. A scolding, vicious old woman. 2. A worn-out strumpet; a vixenish woman; a hag. ...

I don't believe, however that one must be old to be a harridan.

That was her.

When did you meet my ex??

It is as if you have painted a picture with words

Back to mediocre take out

S

[herbacidal]

I always assumed that they bought the rolls in from some place where they were mass produced as opposed to making them in the place.

I think you are giving too much credit to the take outs of Glasgow if you imagine a place like this had someone dilligently making spring rolls in the back room.

To the best of my knowledge (being Chinese and having worked in a takeout),

most places do make their own egg rolls, or did as of the early 90s in Philadelphia.

[eatingwitheddie]

I always assumed that they bought the rolls in from some place where they were mass produced as opposed to making them in the place.

I think you are giving too much credit to the take outs of Glasgow if you imagine a place like this had someone dilligently making spring rolls in the back room.

I've almost never seen a Chinese restaurant or take-out that doesn't make their own eggrolls and dumplings. The price differential is too great and the profit margins are too small.

[Louisa Chu]

So Simon it was one of those amicable divorces I see.

And herblau and eddie, I know that's generally true in the States - being Chinese and of a restaurant family and a veteran of infinite horizons of egg rolls myself - but I know for a fact that some of the little Asian traiteurs here in Paris buy their stuff mass produced.

Don't know about Simon's Glaswegian takeaway of choice of course. Are you sure it wasn't some kind of delicacy they were trying to cheer you with? Like those mice fattened in jars?

[Simon Majumdar]

Only you guys could discuss the horrors of my love life through the gauze of the origins of spring rolls

S