Foods or Dishes About Which You Are a Purist

[hummingbirdkiss]

guacamole I am a purist with it ...so pure I seldom eat it unless I make it!

the only thing I want in there is ...

perfectly ripe (not over ripe or under ripe) avocados

1-2 cloves of fresh fat juicy garlic

a squeeze of Mexican lime just a hint

salt and fresh cracked pepper anything else makes it "dip" to me...

and it must be done by hand in a molcajete...starting with the garlic going slow adding each thing one at a time until it is just right

I could roll like a puppy in stink for perfect guac!

[Chris Hennes]

perfectly ripe (not over ripe or under ripe) avocados

1-2 cloves of fresh fat juicy garlic

a squeeze of Mexican lime just a hint

salt and fresh cracked pepper anything else makes it "dip" to me...

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Can you describe how a Mexican lime differs from a Persian (or even Key) lime? I've never had one, nor seen them in stores, but I'm a hug fan of guacamole. Of course, I like mine a bit different : I like to add red onions, jalapeño and a little cilantro to the mix. Do you crush it all up, or try to leave some of the avocado pieces large? I like mine more "chuunky-style". I am really hungry for guac now...

[eje]

Now, see...

I'm a guacamole purist, as well.

However, onions, chiles, cilantro, tomatoes, and salt are all that should be in it.

No lime, no garlic. Black pepper? That's just weird.

edit - Anyway, that was my point above. Once you go down this road there's always someone who's going to out purist you. And for the record, I used to think Guacamole was supposed to have cheese in it. But, then I am from Wisconsin...

Edited February 11, 2008 by eje (log)

[jsmeeker]

I'll add one (though I may have a few on my list)

Buffalo wings.

Buffalo wings employ the following characteristics.

1. They have bones in them

2. they are deep fried

3. they use a hot sauce bases sauce. (really, Frank's)

Boneless wings? What weird mutant animal do they come from?? Baked? Ughhh... No.. BBQ Sauce? Honey glazed? Asian soy garlic? Gimme a break.

I'll echo what others have said about cocktails. (bitters in Manhattan, gin in a martini, etc.) But I say the "-tinis" are OK. They can be fine cocktails. But ifyou want to argue that they should NOT be suffixed with "tini", that's cool. I wont argue with that.

[Dr. Teeth]

Bolognese sauce has milk in it. It's not just red sauce with crumbled hamburger. So stop looking at me like I'm a moron when I ask how it's made, you art school reject.

Batter dipped french fries are the devil's work. Those who make them should be caught and punished.

[rooftop1000]

Skippy peanut butter (smooth) Strawberry jelly (cheap kind is fine)

on WHITE BREAD soft, squishy, fresh, bagged supermarket white bread

you can screw with just about anything but that

thank you

Tracey

[Lilija]

I'll add one (though I may have a few on my list)

Buffalo wings.

Buffalo wings employ the following characteristics.

1. They have bones in them

2. they are deep fried

3. they use a hot sauce bases sauce. (really, Frank's)

Boneless wings? What weird mutant animal do they come from??    Baked?  Ughhh...  No..      BBQ Sauce?  Honey glazed?  Asian soy garlic?    Gimme a break.

I'll echo what others have said about cocktails.  (bitters in Manhattan, gin in a martini, etc.)    But I say the "-tinis" are OK. They can be fine cocktails.  But ifyou want to argue that they should NOT be suffixed with "tini", that's cool.  I wont argue with that.

←

I agree here, too. I like some of the "tini" style mixed drinks, like a nice espresso or chocolate flavored one. Once, I had one made with Cuarenta y Tres that was like a creamsicle in a glass, deee-licious...nothing tini about it.

As far as boneless "wings" even my 9 year old regards them with disdain. He calls them "hot nuggets", pronouncung the nugget part with an "ugh". He's a pretty strict wing purist. We just had a talk about this a few days ago. Wings have bones, period, and in no circumstances should they be hickory or mesquite, or applewood smoked flavored.

[hummingbirdkiss]

perfectly ripe (not over ripe or under ripe) avocados

1-2 cloves of fresh fat juicy garlic

a squeeze of Mexican lime just a hint

salt and fresh cracked pepper anything else makes it "dip" to me...

←

Can you describe how a Mexican lime differs from a Persian (or even Key) lime? I've never had one, nor seen them in stores, but I'm a hug fan of guacamole. Of course, I like mine a bit different : I like to add red onions, jalapeño and a little cilantro to the mix. Do you crush it all up, or try to leave some of the avocado pieces large? I like mine more "chuunky-style". I am really hungry for guac now...

←

Chris ...I think it resembles a Key lime they are tiny and taste different than other types ..usually you can get a huge bag for cheap at Mercados...but closest to the Mexican lime I find is the Key lime ...and...nope as soon as you add cilantro ..onions ...and jalapeno you are talking dip to me ..I love all those things but not in guacamole! ...mmmmmmmmmm the most seductive and wonderful food on the planet needs very little to make it right as far as I am concerned!!!

when I make it I use the mortar and pestal and when it is done it is not smooth smooth but not really chunky either coarse may be the best word for it I guess?

I will eat and enjoy "avocado dip"...but I adore and will go to great lengths to have perfect guacamole ...it is all about enhancing not distracting from the avocado to me ..my favorite fruit on the planet!

[hummingbirdkiss]

Now, see...

I'm a guacamole purist, as well.

However, onions, chiles, cilantro, tomatoes, and salt are all that should be in it.

No lime, no garlic.  Black pepper?  That's just weird.

edit - Anyway, that was my point above.  Once you go down this road there's always someone who's going to out purist you.  And for the record, I used to think Guacamole was supposed to have cheese in it.  But, then I am from Wisconsin...

←

NO ONIONS IN MY GUAC!!!! LOL NO NO NO!!!!

you are right being from Wisconsin does make you think wierd things ..I know that my husband is from Racine!!!

[maggiethecat]

Batter dipped french fries are the devil's work.  Those who make them should be caught and punished.

←

Well, my Lancashire grandmother has passed on to the great chippie in the sky, so you can't make her stand in the corner. Come to think of it, even if she was with us, all 5' nothing, 98 pounds of her, you'd quail and run to avoid her fury.

She called them Dabs. They were slim potato wedges in a flour and water batter, deep -fried. In a long life of eating everything not clamped down, and mostly avoiding naughty erotic behavior when I want to swoon or howl in public places like restaurants, , Dabs made me act that way when I was a sheltered virginal 9.

Nana, if you're reading this in your perfume and fur-strewn afterlife, be gentle. Dr. Teeth knows not what he says.

[Busboy]

None of you are purists unless you refuse to eat the evil variations of the foods about which you claim purism even though they taste good. Otherwise you're just picky and/or normal. If you are dying...dying...dying to drink that appletini but won't because it's not made with gin, vermouth and bitters you may be a purist. If you think the whole concept exists just to sell foul-tasting yet ludicrously priced liquor combinations to jejune hipsters trying to work up enough courage to go home with one another, and would rather go sober than swallow a mouthful, you are merely a fine citizen and possibly a gourmet, but not a purist.

Crinkle cut French fries are a gift from God, by the way, particularly on hot summer nights after many beers when consumed on a boardwalk or in a bowling alley while lying about one's sex life or discussing how to improve it. And real purists would call be sure to call them "frites" and specify that they be twice-cooked.

I am, you may have gathered, no purist, btw. Not that I would ever eat a pizza whole wheat crust.

[eje]

NO ONIONS IN MY GUAC!!!! LOL NO NO NO!!!!

you are right being from Wisconsin does make you think wierd things ..I know that my husband is from Racine!!! 

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I won't tell Diana Kennedy about your guacamole if you don't tell Rick Bayless about mine.

;-)

[MaxH]

Bolognese sauce has milk in it.  It's not just red sauce with crumbled hamburger.  ...

Word to the wise, Dr T: I wouldn't go there. Not because you aren't right (you are) but because "Bolognese" meat sauce has become such an international catch term, a genre. Like "Xerox" for photocopying. You can travel all over Europe -- for that matter, even the US -- and taste dozens of "Bolognese" meat sauces. All different, many of them good, and none like the Real Enchilada. It's a common café or fast-food offering. (This should be taken as an honor to the original ...)

Also for you young folks who don't remember 35 or more years ago (when it was still an ethnic niche item and not yet universal), "pesto sauce" wasn't widespread US language until the famed mainstreaming circa 1980 (celebrated by cover photos, with linguine, in leading US food magazines, and comments by columnists -- I could show them to you). Earlier, one common term was pasta "al pesto," referring of course to the tool, which everyone understood who made it. "Pesto sauces" are a simplification of that. (Earlier still, the original Gourmet Cook Book wrote of Genoa garlic and herb sauces, no "pesto" mentioned.)

[MomOfLittleFoodies]

None of you are purists unless you refuse to eat the evil variations on the any things even though they taste good. 

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I guess I'm a purist with the sushi then. I only made the mistake of buying that brown rice sushi once.

[mizducky]

Okay, so maybe I'm not a "pure" purist. Maybe I'm just a crank about certain food items.

I'm not a martini drinker by habit, but when I want one, I want the gin/vermouth/olive creation. Maybe it's just my general aversion to overly sweet things, or my aversion to mistaking the form for the substance, but there's something about the tendency of some bars to just sling any old combination of (usually sickly-sweet) booze in that inverted-cone glass and call it a martini. Dude, it ain't about the glass, it's about the contents. Not that you'd catch me drinking any of those sweet concoctions regardless of the container.

About pizza, I can be pretty schizophrenic. I have eaten my share of frou-frou goat-cheese pizzas and low-down everything-but-the-kitchen-sink-topping "garbage pizzas" and Chicago-style pizzas, and found some of them right tasty. But in my head, "real" pizza is New York style. Though I suspect many native Italians would, in turn, doubt the "realness" of even the New York style.

Similarly, I find it challenging to be a purist about Mexican food in Southern California, due to the wide variety of things called Mexican food here. There's corner-taco-shop/taco truck Mexican. There's barrio Mexican. There's surfer-dude carbo-loader Mexican. There's haute-cuisine Mexican. And there are still further variations. All of these have their own "pure" ideal forms that can be quite enjoyable. Many bear only a passing resemblance to one or another authentic regional cuisine from within Mexico, if that. But I do know one thing--anything from a franchise chain, whether it be fast-food or fast casual or what-have-you, is beyond the pale as far as I'm concerned. Especially if the words "Fresh" and "Healthy" are emblazoned anywhere on the store signage. I'm all for fresh, heathy food--except when it's marketing code for "prettied up, de-hotted and de-souled for squeamish gringos."

Bagels? I can roll with most savory additions, but bagels with raisins, blueberries, cranberries, or anything else sweet is just NO. Rule of thumb: if it would clash with nova lox and sliced raw onion, it doesn't belong in a bagel. And take those franchise chain steamed-not-boiled bagels out back and incinerate them, please.

[annecros]

Real grits, boiled. With a pool of real butter.

Full Fat Milk, Ice Cream, Cream, Butter, Sour Cream, Cream Cheese, etc. etc.

Southern peas must be served with rice.

No hot sauce in the boiled peanuts, an abomination.

Meringue on the banana pudding, no whipped cream or cool whip. Also, must use 'Nilla Wafers.

Skin on my fried chicken, dammit.

Old Bay in a Low Country Boil.

Southern Greens must be cooked with a smoked hock. Keep your turkey wing away from my pot.

Eggs must be fried in butter.

Okra must be fried in bacon fat. Ditto cornbread.

Key Lime Pie does not have meringue! Ever.

[hummingbirdkiss]

NO ONIONS IN MY GUAC!!!! LOL NO NO NO!!!!

you are right being from Wisconsin does make you think wierd things ..I know that my husband is from Racine!!! 

←

I won't tell Diana Kennedy about your guacamole if you don't tell Rick Bayless about mine.

;-)

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Ok deal!!! I learned to make guacamole in Santa Fe from a friend who is Mexican and Navajo ..she smacked me when I reached for the cilantro and asked about (GOD FORBID) sour cream!! of course I was born and raised in Providence RI so what did I know?

I so adore it the way I make it..the way she taught me... the time it takes to find the perfect fruits... the smell of the garlic and lime ...the feel the mortar and pestel ..of the avocados .....yes I am a complete purist and love it exactly how she taught me ..I have never actually read directions of how to make it but I imagine there are tons of recipes...some people I know put tomatoes in this...she told me this was the only way ..in her kitchen with all the windows open... on top of a mesa with the smell of sage in the air ...to this day I believe this is pure ..simple ..magnificant guac and anything else is avocado dip!!!

the other thing I am a purist with is pinto beans ..they need to be fresh ..this past years crop ...I like cooked with only a small pinch of epazote and a tiny piece of fatty bacon ...they need to be cooked perfectly with the beans intact, tender and the sauce almost caramel color ...

clam chowder Rhode Island makes it differently and anyone from there knows that ...even different from Mass or anywhere else on the East Coast...I like Rhode Island style clam chowdah ...not the thick stuff you get other places ...thin but creamy made simple with salt pork, heavy cream, tons of clams, lots of fresh cracked pepper and a few potatoes.(still intact) ..that is it ..pure and simple with the clams as the main feature of the dish heaven in a bowl!

.... out here on the west coast people make it so thick you can almost stand your spoon in it drown it with of all things dill!!! and think it is better that way..I dont get it then put celery and a bunch of other crap in it? creamy clam broth should be the base not cement!

[hummingbirdkiss]

PS I guess I am not a real food purist either..just a bitchy eater! ..... I eat everything I just get a tiny bit bitchy (ok a lotabit bitchy) if it is not "right" in my mind

[slkinsey]

None of you are purists unless you refuse to eat the evil variations on the any things even though they taste good.

Hmm. That's a tough one. I guess I feel like the things beyond the scope of some of my quasi-purist tendeicies don't taste good. Honestly, I couldn't imagine drinking a vodka "martini" and I'd rather have nothing than a Domino's pizza. Is there anyone who really won't eat something that tastes good to them because of some kind of foodie purism?

[jumanggy]

Probably a very old mama from Naples! (kidding)

[Chris Hennes]

I guess I'm not a food purist at all: more like a linguistic purist. I'm not sure I go so far as to not order something whose name I disagree with, but as my wife can attest, I will complain about it all night . For example, my "martini" objection is not an intrinsic objection to the vodka martini... I happen to like them. But I always order it as a "vodka martini" because as far as I am concerned, a simple "martini" is, by definition, made with gin. Similarly, I have no objection to waffle-cut fries, but if I order "french fries" I expect long sticks of potato, not waffle-cut.

Apparently, guacamole would get us into trouble, since as far as I am concerned, a mashed-up avocado with a little lime is not guacamole: it's just an avocado. Tasty to be sure, but if I ordered guac and got that, I would be... perturbed.

[hummingbirdkiss]

"Apparently, guacamole would get us into trouble, since as far as I am concerned, a mashed-up avocado with a little lime is not guacamole: it's just an avocado. Tasty to be sure, but if I ordered guac and got that, I would be... perturbed. "

"Just an avocado" ..sigh that is such a sad phrase ......ok I give up on this

....but in my heart of hearts

you are making dip when you add all that stuff

Edited February 12, 2008 by hummingbirdkiss (log)

[Sherry B]

Poutine.

It's made with fresh, never frozen french fries. The cheese is real cheese curds, the squeaky kind; NOT mozzarella.

The gravy is authentic gravy, (could be roast beef, could be turkey, both are nice), slightly thickened with flour. This gravy has never been in a can, nor has it started as a powder.

As for foie on poutine, well.....

Lasagna.

It needs to be made with noodles that have been boiled. NOT those pasty abominations that 'cook' in the oven. *shudder*.

Chicken and/or Turkey.

Not pink, not rare. Not happening.

[hummingbirdkiss]

I have never even considered rare turkey or chicken ? I do not care for turkey because it is frankly strange tasting to me but I wonder if like duck I would like it better rare? (when I discovered rare duck my eyes rolled back in my head it was so good!)

dont mean to be off topic but I never considered the possiblity..

rare poultry? can someone lead me to this topic if there is one? ..this place amazes me with all the things I learn

Edited February 12, 2008 by hummingbirdkiss (log)

[rooftop1000]

Ok one more.... Lasagna contains

noodles

Ricotta cheese

eggs

Mozarella cheese

tomato sauce

and can have meat and seasonings in it

No BECHAMEL...my grandmother wouldnt even know what bechamel is

tracey