Comfort Me

1. Epoisse -- without a doubt. I have had dreams where I'm eating it. 2. Gorganzola. I remember having a babysitter (33 - 34 years ago) who knew how to keep me quite. She would bring a big wedge of gorganzola, a box of garlic crisps, and pour me a big glass of milk. I wouln't make a noise all night! 3. Cream cheese. I know it's boring, but I couldn't live without it. Again, starting when I was a kid, I would eat a toasted bagel or bialy spread with a schmear and topped with pepperoncini or other hot pepper. Now I'm hungry for cheese. I've got to walk over to Fox & Obel at lunch and pick up some Epoisse.

I take great pride in the product of my kitchens. I like to use products which are fresh, natural, and unprocessed. That said, I will admit to having a quart bottle of this wonderful quasi-vanilla that I picked up at E & S Sales in Shipshewana, Indiana -- think Trader Joe's for the Amish -- it's where I stock my baking patry, but that's a whole other thread. Anyway, this product is a blend of real vanilla and imitation, and I use it in almost everything. I use the vanilla paste in custards and butter cookies and whipped cream. Prices for vanilla have just gone through the roof. It was getting so I was spending $30 a month on vanilla for a while. So I too did a side by side, blind taste test -- only I did it with pastry cream. I had three friends, blindfolded so they couldn't look for seeds, taste the pastry cream and 1 out of the three liked the artificial blend best and two couldn't tell a difference. For the sake of full disclosure, I had them blind test me, and I thought they gave me two spoons of the same custard. So I'm not going to feel bad about economizing. It means I can spend more money where it will make a difference.

I'm feeling like such a schmo, but I'm actually muttering to myself, "Hmmm. I need a tea ball. I couldn't find one when I needed one the other day. Hmmm. I have been eyeing a ricer for months, but my wife says it's too much money. I want a ricer." The most useless thing in my kitchen? A cast iron corn-bread mold shaped like fish. Attractive, yes; but heavy, difficult to clean, and cornbread baked in it doesn't actually look like fish.

A thin slice of rye bread spread with goose grease and sprinkled generously with fleur de sel! Possibly the very best thing I ever ate in France. I just drooled on my keyboard -- no joke. Now I'm so away-from-homesick for the French countryside. I think I'll go sit in a corner, suck my thumb, and go to my "happy place" -- which right now is the Isle St. Michelle! edit: two currect tipeoes.

Kitty Cocktail In a cocktail shaker with shaved ice combine 2 parts freshly-squeezed mouse with one part rum and one part simple syrup. Stir, strain, and serve garnished with a sprig of catnip.

I think the black caraway seeds are the same used in Israeli and other Middle Eastern cooking. The Eastern Europeans call them charnushka, in Israel they are Nigella. You can get them by mail at The Spice House. You can always call the owners, Patty & Tom Erd, and ask them. They are very, very helpful. Their phone number is (312) 274-0378. If you haven't been to their site lately, GO! It's new, and beautiful, and their product is spectacular!

I have a few hard and fast rules in my kitchen. Most are sacrosanct -- one gets broken regularly, but not my me: The diswasher gets run every night, full or not. The dishwasher gets emptied every morning before I can have my coffee. Dirty Dishes belong in the dishwasher. The diswasher gets run before guests arive for a dinner party. Cleanup occurs after guests depart. I don't go to bed with dirty dishes. Washing the counter takes 1 minutes. Just DO it! I used to have real trouble keeping my kitchen in order. We have a limited amount of cabinet space, very little counter space, and I have a lot of pots and pans and kitchen stuff. And it is not unusual for me to cook for 50 people. In order to get the pan I needed, I'd have to take everything out of the cabinets to get to it, or I'd have to run to the storage locker in the basement of our condo building to get a pan. Last April friends helped me hang pegboard on 16 linear feet of wall space in my kitchen- 128 square feet -- from the chair rail to the cieling. I also took the doors off the upper cabinets. It has really changed our lives. Everything is where it belongs, everything has a place, everything is accessible, and cleanup takes 1/3 the time it used to. All my wisks, spatulas, wooden sppons, plastic wrap, foil, etc. -- even my 6 year-old's lunch boxes -- now have their own places on the wall instead of on the counter. So it gave me more room on the couter to work, which makes cleaning up as you go easier, too. And I don't bang my head on the cabinets the way I used to! O. My. G-d. It's the best thing I ever did! Some of my snooty neighbors didn't like it, but I figure if it's good enough for Julia, my neighbors can just shut their pieholes. Oh -- I've also developed an afinity for those Polmolive pre-loaded, disposable dishrags. I just bought a case of them, which should last me 9 months. They are terrific for those times where everyghing fits into the dishwasher except for 1 pot, or you need to wash the crystal. Lest you think I'm a child-scaring-Joan-Crawford-hanger-wavin'-hand-washing-scary-ass clean freak, I sweep my floor regularly, but I can't abide scrubbing it. It gets scrubbed every two weeks when the cleaning lady comes. My MIL criticized my lack of floor care (not her perfect DAUGHTER'S lack of floor care!) and I chearfully handed her a bucket and said if she wanted to wash the floor we wouldn't stand in her way. She declined and has never said boo about my kitchen floor again. One of the most annoying things about my wife is she apparently is physically unable to wipe off a counter. I think she should see a doctor, or possibly apply for disability. It makes me freakin' crazy! But every time she pulls out a credit card bill and starts itemizing the Prince charges, I just tell her I'll spend less money when she wipes off a counter! I think I'm going to go order one of those egg toppers Steve Klc showed us in Baking & Pastry!

mmmm...two dishwashers....that's livin' large! I want to be you when I grow up. Though I might look for a smaller cutting board. In this instance, size doesn't matter

I may be wrong, but I think Steve Klc makes a semolina cake (similar to tishpishti) I think was made with olive oil, then soaked in a light syrup flavored with orange or rose water? Steve, help me out here. Was I dreaming this? I remember it being good -- there is an al dente texture that is absent many cakes like this -- and the syrup wasn't cloying -- it was there to sweeten and moisten, not to force a diabetic coma.

In the tradition in which I was raised, Judaism, hospitality is a two-fold religious obligation -- one is obliged to extend hospitality graciously as one is obliged to accept hospitality graciously. I take this very seriously. Save for traif (non-kosher) ingredients, there is very little I won't eat. The only two foods I truly despise are eggplant and okra. It's a consistancy thing. A couple of years ago I was a guest in a friend's home for dinner on the Sabbath. At the beginning of the meal she set in front of me a big, piping hot bowl of eggplant soup. (Yes, you read that right.) I have never encountered anything quite that snotty in my life. I resolutely ate every drop in my bowl -- with great effort and pretending it was mushroom bisque, my favorite soup. My hostess promptly took my bowl away, and I was greatly relieved - until she set another bowl down in front of me. I thought I was going to cry. I managed to eat half of it before pushing it back, saying I wanted to save room for the rest of the meal. The next time we were guests at her house -- again for the Sabbath dinner -- she again served the eggplant soup -- this time with okra in it -- and told the rest of her guests she made it especially for me, knowing how much I loved it. I can't do justice to the consistancy of this soup -- it was like chunky snot. My wife quickly changed the subject, fearing I was nearing the edge of sanity! But I ate it. I would rather be uncomfortable than cause my hostess any discomfort. I know I'm a great cook. And I know that most people can't cook as well as I do. Maybe because the way I show people how much I care about them is by cooking for them, I love being invited to a friend's house for dinner. And if it is green been casserole, I'll eat it, and I'll probably enjoy it; because it means they like me. Bless their hearts.

I was at brunch on Sunday when I offered the hostess's mother, think OLD Yankee money, a slice of the most delicious persimmon I had ever tasted. She took a wedge, looked at it, raised the corner of her lip and asked me if I had washed it. I told her I had rinsed it -- and that it was organic. She then proceeded to wash the slice of persimmon under hot water while explaining to me the hazzards associated with eating produce. "Anybody -- just ANYBODY could have touched it." I think she would be terribly disappointed to know I wasn't struck down whith hepatitis A. I got quite a jolly out of it, though I don't think she appreciated my laughter.

I just had an e-mail exchange with my cousin to ask her about timing on the bread. I was totally mistaken in my recollection. She said: >the small breads should stay in the water no time at all. Maybe 5 seconds. >45 seconds is much too long a time. Abba never put more >into the water than he could pull out with his strainer at one >time. Jacob is the same way now. Tell people salt should> go on at while dough is wet.

Oh yeah! Foie Gras! Excellent! On toasted Brioche Nanterre! Scandalous!

Fig preserves are a wonderful thing! They are wonderful on a fruit and cheese tray. Especially with pungent and sharp flavors. I had them recently with a huge wedge (blob?) of ripe eppoisse, a few walnuts, and a piece of crusty bread and I was in heaven. It was so good, I passed on the pastry couse just so I could let the happy flavors roll around in the back of my mouth! Also, I have used fig preserves in tarts during the winter. I roll out the dough for a rustic tart, spread it with a fair amount of fig preserves, sprinkle it with lemon zest and chopped almonds, then top it with dried figs which have been plumped in a little warm port or coffee and halved. Pull the crust up, brush with egg wash, dust with sugar in the raw, and bake. Serve with port or espresso garnished with lemon.

Is that, like, complementary to spiritual punishment? I like the concept of corporeal punishment! If I ever need to break someone's spirit, I'm breaking out the peppers and a teflon skillet! Thanks for a great laugh!

I was at a brunch yesterday and was struck mute by a spectacular, huge basket filled with persimmons! 20 pounds at least! I picked one up and was disappointed -- it was as firm as an apple. My host told me not to be mislead -- that they were a gift from a mutual friend whose mother apparently grows them in her persimmon and pomegranate orchard! He said they were a different variety from the soft-fleshed persimmons I was used to. All I could think about was the one time I bit into an unripe persimmon! My mouth puckered so tight, you'd think I had been sucking on alum! But I bravely cut into one to taste and they were amazing! Think the texture of a firm apple and the taste of a persimmon, though sweeter...much sweeter. And the flavor was more complex, but less competative than other persimmons I have had. My tastebuds started singing! My mind then began to go over the things I could make with them! Chutney for Thanksgiving! Preserves! Pavlova! Filling for a spice cake! Fried pies! I could dice it and include it in stuffing for a leg of lamb. Persimmon pancakes! Persimmon fritters! Does anyone know how they cook up? Do they hold their shape? I must get my hands on enough to try a whole bunch of recipes. Hmmm. I think I have an idea for a article for next fall! I'd better send an e-mail to our mutual friend right now!

i grew out of the "deluxe" once i hit college and had zero dollars. and i never went back. it's the box with the bag of bright orange stuff or nothing for me. in fact, iirc, Foodtown has the bext boxed stuff. even better than Kraft, if you can believe that. the bitch about the box is you need a bit of milk. when you're broke, milk is liquid coke. as i recall, a bit of water worked almost as well, as long as you found a lot of butter. I couldn't help but laugh remembering the times in college when my roommate and I would go through the sofa cussions looking for enough change to buy a box of Kraft mac and cheese and 2 chocolate covered cherries. (My roomate insisted on having dessert!) We, too, used water instead of milk because of lack of funds, though I remember the quality suffering from it! And our course of butter was almost always those pats set out in restaurants! (I would have to start unwrapping pats the minute the macaroni went in the water in order to have 1/4 cup done in time!) My roomate's mother bought me a huge box of powdered milk and told me to use it! I don't know that it made MUCH of a difference, but it made me fond of the woman! My favorite memories from college are of my roomate's mom, who would come to New York from the midwest two or three times a year -- even after her son switched to UCLA! She would rent a VAN instead of a car, because Manhattan didn't have big grocery stores. She would drive me to Jersey where we would shop until the van was full! She'd ask if I wanted au gratin potatoes (the box, of course) and the put 10 boxes in the cart! And she'd always buy a case of mac and cheese! You have never seen anyone so appreciative -- as much for the attention and affection as for the food! We stayed in touch for many years after that, and she always wanted to go shopping for groceries! I was in Australia when she died, but I traveled 36 hours straight to make it to her funeral. And instead of flowers, I contributed $500 to a food pantry in her name. And I do it every year on the anniversary of her death. Dang. Even mac and cheese can make me maudlin! BTW -- I only eat the blue box. It contains memories.

I made similar breads during summers spent with family in Germany. I e-mailed my cousin in Germany to see if she still makes it. My cousin -- torch bearer of the family metzgerei and konditerei -- says the bread is run through "slowly boiling" water to which salt and "Natron" (German baking soda) is added. She said the salt is added to increase the temperature at which the water boils -- or something like that -- and not to add too much -- "It is a bath, not a brine" -- and that the soda is added for appearance. I didn't ask her if Natron is the German word for Baking soda or if it is a brand name. Sorry. I do remember from making it that the rolls didn't spend much time in the simmering water. They went in, spent 45 seconds or so, then were dipped out with a wire strainer. They were then placed on a cornmeal-dusted paking sheet and, when the tray was full, sprinkled with pretzel salt and placed in the oven. Wow -- I just read through the first paragraph. I have managed, through poor writing and grammar -- to be appauled by my own work! I guess I should be re-reading Elements of Style instead of Larouse Gastronomie!

Love: Julia. She's a 6'2", 91-year-old goddess! I'd pay money to watch her sit and pick her teeth. Joan Nathan -- especially her Eastern-European and Middle-Eastern stuff. (I'm turned on by culinary anthropology!) And while her earlier books weren't exactly well written (or tested) her later books have been great. Alton Brown -- I like to learn. He teaches. I'm grateful. Ina Garten -- I like her food. I wish she'd invite ME to the house for lunch! Neutral Anthony Bourdain. OK -- I know most women and a lot of men would give anything to b*** him. But I'm not of the "Unwrapped" generation. I want to see him cook. Maybe then I'll want to b*** him. Can't Abide: Giada. That head is FREAKY! And have you seen the size of those hands? I wouldn't be surprised if she used to be a guy! Paula Dean: Please, for the love of God! Make her shut up! If she's not the most annoying thing to walk the planet, "...then grits ain't groceries in a poor man's basket!" David Rosengarten: No one could possibly love David as much as David loves David. There is nothing wrong with him that a diuretic and a public whipping wouldn't cure. If I wanted to be talked down to, I'd call my mother-in-law, thank you very much. And has anyone seen his new "newsletter"? From the promotional flyer, it sounds like the World Weekly News of Food. What's the snobbiest way to say "sellout"? Michael Chiarello: The Jack McFarland of Food TV. 'Nuff said.

The Honorable William Jefferson Clinton: Oysters Mangoes Fresh Buns Pig in a Poke Secret Sauce Cream Horns All Day Suckers Hot Chocolate Humble Pie Shout laundry towlettes and a Cigar

I've got some pretty good knives, and they are well cared for and razor sharp, but salmon always gave me trouble. A cooking friend turned me onto the Black & Decker Ergo Electric Knife EK600. Problem solved. woodburner Woodburner: Thanks! I'm going to go out and get one. All this reading about gravlax has me salivating. I stopped at my fishmonger this morning and grabbed a salmon. I think I'll make some bialys and gravlax for Sunday brunch. Off topic: Your name. Friends here in Chicago are constructing a communal woodburning oven. (My first love is breads.) Are you THAT kind of woodburner? And if so, can I contact you with questions?

I run a synagogue kitchen, so I have a great deal of experience in converting traif (non-kosher) recipes into pork-free recipes!. For panchetta, substitute beef bacon, also marketed as smoked beef blade. I buy mine as a slab, but it is available in most places near the kosher hot dogs and sausages. You might, depending on where you are located, look for it in Muslim markets as well, as Islam prohibits consumption of pork. When you select a package, look for a fatty one, as the fat is what you need for your dish. Anyway -- drop the required number of slices into a pan of simmering water, return to the simmer, and blanch for three mintutes. This will remove a great deal of the smokey flavor, though not all. (If you blanch it any further, you begin to render the fat, which is counter to what you want to do.) Drain the bacon, chop, and proceed as called for in your recipe.

I made gravlax from Costco salmon for an event I catered -- I rinsed and dried two sides of salmon, painted it with a bit of gin, then added a cure made of salt, sugar, black pepper, and crushed juniper berries. I placed a bunch of dill between the sides of salmon, wrapped in plastic wrap, and weighed the whole thing down and refrigerated it for three days -- turning it twice a day. The salmon was perfect, the texture silky and firm, and the taste was divine. Slicing has always been the difficult part for me. I suspect more than one fish has wanted to sue me for malpractice!

You can preserve the kiwi in the same way you would pineapple. Take two quarts pealed, coursely chopped kiwi fruit, a pinch of salt, and 4 cups of sugar. Place over medium heat and cook, stirring constantly, until the temperature reaches 240 degrees. Remove from the heat. Drain the liquid into a saucepan, reserving the fruit. Bring the liquid to a rapid boil and cook until reduced by half. Add back to the fruit and run the whole lot through a food mill. Use between layers of a cake, as a topping for a sundae, or as a sauce for plated desserts. I like it on buttered toast. Freeze extra for up to 3 months. I know this will sound like I'm daft, but I also made a wonderful kiwi chutney, using less than half the sugar, a bit of vinegar, onions, garlic, chopped coriander, and lots of red pepper. It was stunning with coconut chicken stips as first course. I know fresh kiwi, like fresh pineapple, somehow interferes with gelatinization. Does anyone know if cooked kiwi will gel? I'm sure McGee has something to say about it, but mine is at home right now.

While in France many years ago my hostess gave me permission in perpetuity to cheat on Tarte Tatin. She said that she, too, had had many failures, until someone taught her this method. I make a healthy amount of caramel in the bottom of my skillet. Then I arrange pealed, cored, halved apples on end to firmly pack the skillet. I brush the apples then with butter -- sometimes sprinkling them with cinnamon-sugar, but not always -- and allow them to cook for fifteen or so on the stovetop. Sometimes the apple gods will decide to screw with you and there will be too much liquid. Spoon off some, but not all, of the liquid, then finish cooking the apples in a hot oven. While the apples are cooking, I cut a piece of puff pastry -- yes, not pastry dough -- to the size of the skillet, brush it with egg wash and dust it with pearl sugar, then bake it off in the hot oven until puffed and golden brown. Invert the pastry onto the apples, then invert the whole thing (carefully) onto a platter, and serve with Glace de Fromage Blanc or a dab of whipped creme fraiche.