Stupid Cook Tricks

[johnsmith45678]

In the years I spent cooking in restaurants, I developed, honed, and perfected several skills while killing boredom during slow times. I can:

- Spin wait trays (including the big oval ones) on my middle finger indefinitely. I can also spin other objects.

- Snap towels so hard that their ends "explode" or draw blood.

- Poke two small holes in both ends of an egg through which I can drain it completely.

So, what are your stupid cook tricks?

[Luckylies]

lighting things on fire with a blowtorch.

[melkor]

lighting things on fire with a blowtorch.

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That's not stupid, most things taste better after you light them on fire.

[Mikeb19]

- Snap towels so hard that their ends "explode" or draw blood. 

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We used to have 'duels' with towels.... We'd go into the walk-in cooler to duel. The rules were that you had to have your sleeves rolled up past your elbow, and you must start with your towel at your side. You'd then draw your towel and snap the other guy. First person to draw blood wins... We had one cook who needed to go to the clinic and get 15 stitches after he got hit pretty hard with a towel. My buddy also broke a soft-drink hose with a towel and sent syrup flying all over the storage room...

[coquus]

I suppose mine aren't that unusual, tong spinning, flipping type stuff. I like to stab dupes using my tongs, sometimes it takes a couple tries.

[johnsmith45678]

Oh yeah, we used to get a lot of bruises from our towel fights.

I thought of another stupid cook trick I got really good at - sliding full plates, glasses, etc. across tables, bars, passes, etc. so that they come as close to the edge as possible without falling off it.

[moosnsqrl]

The "bacon toss" - to see who could get a slice of bacon to stick on a clock face from approximately 20 paces. It really took some practice and some skill. I'm not proud but . . .

[johnsmith45678]

The "bacon toss" - to see who could get a slice of bacon to stick on a clock face from approximately 20 paces.  It really took some practice and some skill.  I'm not proud but . . .

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That's sort of similar to the skill contest we had of trying to get just about anything to stick to a wall, if thrown hard enough.

[jgm]

The "bacon toss" - to see who could get a slice of bacon to stick on a clock face from approximately 20 paces.  It really took some practice and some skill.  I'm not proud but . . .

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Were there extra points for sticking it at high noon?

Gawd, you must have been bored.

[Mikeb19]

Oh yeah, we used to get a lot of bruises from our towel fights. 

I thought of another stupid cook trick I got really good at - sliding full plates, glasses, etc. across tables, bars, passes, etc. so that they come as close to the edge as possible without falling off it.

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Lol. Sounds like we are pretty similar... I used to drive my chef crazy when I'd slide a pan full of sauce across the pass just to the edge of the counter....

Another thing we'd do is have competitions to see who can throw an empty garbage can the furthest... Or one guy would take a 14" pizza knife, hold it like a sword, and another guy would throw lemons or tomatoes at him - and he'd slice 'em up in mid-air. We'd also play baseball with a pizza paddle and pieces of dough. Disclaimer - all that stuff occurred a while back, before I became a real professional... It didn't help that our supervisor was the kind of guy that would encourage fist-fights on shift because he thought it was funny (he later blew up his hand on shift with a home-made bomb, firebombed the dish pit causing the fire alarm to go off, and tried to fight a FOH manager...).

[Ross.ucf]

Disposable pie tins will make an excellent frisbee. Fun on a busy Fri/Sat night rush

[Grovite]

The "skillet toss" from your station to the sink. We'd see who could get it to "swish" without hitting the back of the sink...of course whoever happened to be walking by would get nailed, which was always good for entertainment.

[johnsmith45678]

Another thing we'd do is have competitions to see who can throw an empty garbage can the furthest...  Or one guy would take a 14" pizza knife, hold it like a sword, and another guy would throw lemons or tomatoes at him - and he'd slice 'em up in mid-air.  We'd also play baseball with a pizza paddle and pieces of dough.

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Heh, yeah, we also did the "sword" thing, except using an 8 or 10 inch chef's knife. One time another guy who happened to walk behind the "batter" came inches from getting badly sliced. Did the baseball thing too.

[johnsmith45678]

The "skillet toss" from your station to the sink. We'd see who could get it to "swish" without hitting the back of the sink...of course whoever happened to be walking by would get nailed, which was always good for entertainment.

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Oh yeah, and other things like throwing things away by lobbing them into the garbage can on the other side of the kitchen.

I think there's a shot of Bourdain doing the skillet toss into the sink in an episode of A Cook's Tour.

[Teri Everitt]

I rule at garbage bag basketball.......I suck at actual basketball though.

A friend at pastry school could fold a side towel to look like a chicken. I had him show me 3 times and I still can't do it.

[McDuff]

I used to work with a guy who had a solo act of flinging a rib cap down the line to see if he could hit the empty tomato box I ditched my dirty saute pans in. The whole thing was accompanied by the cry of "Greasy F---ing rib cap comin' down!", and with a fork and tongs he would fling it. What a mess when he missed, skidding across the already dirty floor coming to rest under the dishwasher. But then, he earned immortality by getting behind on a rib on NYear's Eve, and dropping the whole stone cold raw piece of meat into the fryalator. He could blanch anything in the fryolator and finish it in the microwave or under the salamander. Talented guy.

[maggiethecat]

A friend at pastry school could fold a side towel to look like a chicken.  I had him show me 3 times and I still can't do it.

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Side Towel Chicken Origami

Hey, that's not stupid: that's art!

[ghostrider]

But then, he earned immortality by getting behind on a rib on NYear's Eve, and dropping the whole stone cold raw piece of meat into the fryalator. He could blanch anything in the fryolator and finish it in the microwave or under the salamander. Talented guy.

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"Blanch in the fryolator." Now that's a phrase to conjure with. Nice one.

[chiantiglace]

Putting mentos in peoples diet colas

wrapping pie dough loosely around ice to watch it scare the fry cook.

Collaborating together an options list of "How to get the Exec. Chef laid" up on the walk in door.

Saving up the used fryer oil containers on the back deck and once a week having a competition to see who could get the most into the dumpster from ontop of the back deck 50 feet away.

Giving hostesses chocolate truffles made from unsweetened chocolate.

Spraying down the floor and comming in with your old worn down gym shoes just to see who can pull off the best sliding moves.

locking people in the walk in.

[SummerSun]

Secretly adding citric acid powder to the line cooks drinks...that's always fun!

[johnsmith45678]

Oh yeah, keeping your balance on super-slippery wet floors -- how could I forget that one? Also being able to slide really far and fast and gracefully on them!

[Teri Everitt]

A friend at pastry school could fold a side towel to look like a chicken.  I had him show me 3 times and I still can't do it.

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Side Towel Chicken Origami

Hey, that's not stupid: that's art!

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Thanks Maggie!

I think we all know what I'll be doing tomorrow if I get any down time at work!

[emilyr]

A friend at pastry school could fold a side towel to look like a chicken.  I had him show me 3 times and I still can't do it.

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Side Towel Chicken Origami

Hey, that's not stupid: that's art!

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My uncle used to do the banana trick at the bottom of this blog. I couldn't figure it out for the longest time. Now I do it for kids I babysit for or little cousins!

[Kent D]

I know that some of these have appeared in "Kitchen Confidential", or similar, but I'd read a whole book of these...well, okay, a whole article or forum thread...Makes me wish I had pursued a career in the commercial culinary arts.

[racheld]

Side Towel Chicken Origami

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AWWW---I was expecting a little round one, with a cute beak and everything.

I just never catch on to crafty stuff, like napkins and paper, but that owl/dove call thing---I can do that. And I can make a turkey call with just a straw and the lid from a McDonald's coke.

This thread sounds like that one about the dishwashers wheeling each other around the parking lot in the BIG bread-mixing bowl.