You might be a cocktail snob/geek if...

[Cachaca_Dave]

.... while on vacation you stop at random liquor store looking for "souvenirs"

.... you ask for "what's new in glassware today?" at your restaurant supply store

.... and they think you own a bar based on how much you buy, but you don't

.... you cringe when you enter a bar and see a muddler that has chipped varnish

.... you give free advice to fellow shoppers on which spirits are "good" in the store and then complain about them to the store staff when the end up buying Grey Goose and Jack Daniels

.... you bring your own bottle to a bar and offer to pay the house full price for a cocktails made with it (for your own consumption)

..... when returning to the USA you force friends traveling with you to carry your extra bottles to avoid problems with customs and / or

..... you sweat like a drug smuggler wondering if customs is going to bust you this time for being so far over the limit

And yes I have started my own import business because "what's currently available in my country doesn't meet my standards." And I seriously think that Pisco is next on my hit list.

Edited June 27, 2006 by Cachaca_Dave (log)

[Lordof7]

... you only order Jack and Coke out.

(You know, cause you can usually mix your own better.)

EDIT: added:

..... you sweat like a drug smuggler wondering if customs is going to bust you this time for being so far over the limit

Love this one. So true.

Edited June 28, 2006 by Lordof7 (log)

[Alchemist]

You know you are a cocktail geek (I as well don't like snob) when...

...you have three sizes of ice in your freezer an two ice picks and you know how to use them.

...You will talk aboout ice with friends, and perfect strangers for bloody hours, and hours if someone doesn't stop you.

...after making cocktails all week, on you time off you hang out on a web site where they talk about cocktails, or read about cocktails, or go shopping for cocktail accoutramont, or talk about cocktails over cocktails with cocktailians.

...the only way to get you out of the city is to plan a week end with Gary in the country.

[slkinsey]

...talk about cocktails over cocktails with cocktailians.

"slkinsey... this is your life."

[TallDrinkOfWater]

...you've ever asked yourself "what would Audrey do?" (Henceforth known as WWAD)

...you can instantly answer the question "Doc's, Gary's, or Dave's?"

...you've ever spent time wondering a) where you'd put a Kold-Draft machine in your house and b) how you'd justify it to your spouse/SO.

...you're disappointed that your current freezer only goes to -6F.

...you think that, while not the worst thing, a bar's selection of Tanqueray, Tanqueray 10, Bombay, Bombay Sapphire, and Hendricks is predictable, unimaginative, and ultimately disappointing.

...you have more than one type of cocktail stirring spoon so that depending on type of cocktail or shape of ice or size of mixing glass, you can pick the most-appropriate one.

...your simple syrups, homemade grenadines, and various infusions take up more space in the refrigerator than the beer or the milk.

[edit: fixed typo]

Edited June 28, 2006 by TallDrinkOfWater (log)

[divalasvegas]

You know you're a cocktail snob if....................

.................... As you gaze lovingly at your personal collection of premium vodkas--Ketel One, Grey Goose, Chopin, Vox, Belvedere, etc.--AND your "artisinal" vodkas AND your vodkas that you've carefully infused with the finest of ingredients, you die a little inside every time you think of this:

Smirnoff Wins NY Times Taste Test

[cocktailgeek]

You know you're a cocktail snob if....................

....................  As you gaze lovingly at your personal collection of premium vodkas--Ketel One, Grey Goose, Chopin, Vox, Belvedere, etc.--AND your "artisinal" vodkas AND your vodkas that you've carefully infused with the finest of ingredients, you die a little inside every time you think of this:

Smirnoff Wins NY Times Taste Test

←

You know you're a cocktail geek when...

...you don't drink vodka.

If the culinary world were parallel to popular tastes in spirits (i.e. vodka), the hottest restaurants would proudly trot out their latest plates of flavorless tofu with much ado. But before eating, most guests would pour fruit syrup over their dishes, then ooh and aah about how good the tofu is.

[Libationgoddess]

...you pay $20 for a drink at the Pegu Club that costs $3.50 anywhere else.

←

$20.00?? Um, excuse me, NOT in my house. This is the second time I've seen this misinformation printed. Would someone kindly show me where there is a $20.00 cocktail on our menu?? Not in my lifetime. So uttlerly absurd; like offering an XO & coke. Yea, of course if someone orders a "Hedonisim" Manhattan, but that's solely an upcharge for an already expensive spirit, and the guest's perrogative. Regular drinks for $12, Champagne cocktails for $16.00.

Other than that, tickled-pink and proud to say that we are guilty as charged on all of the above-listed infractions; and loving that it is our fucking perogative. I'm certain that I can also pretty much speak for all of my bartenders here as well. God bless America.

What did we do tonight?? Worked through umpteen different versions of a daiquiri variant (give or take 1 tsp here and there) just to get it right for y'all....

Sniffing down our noses just for you, with enormous amounts of love (and everyone's interests / personal beverage needs / requirements) in our hearts, we remain your faithful beverage servants,

XXXOOOOAudrey

[cocktailgeek]

You rAWKK, Audrey!

[mbanu]

...you pay $20 for a drink at the Pegu Club that costs $3.50 anywhere else.

←

$20.00?? Um, excuse me, NOT in my house. This is the second time I've seen this misinformation printed. Would someone kindly show me where there is a $20.00 cocktail on our menu?? Not in my lifetime. So uttlerly absurd; like offering an XO & coke. Yea, of course if someone orders a "Hedonisim" Manhattan, but that's solely an upcharge for an already expensive spirit, and the guest's perrogative. Regular drinks for $12, Champagne cocktails for $16.00.

←

No worries. They were probably including the tip.

Edited June 29, 2006 by mbanu (log)

[slkinsey]

I don't have any more "you might be" items right now. I'd just like to say that I'm now dreaming of a Hedonism Manhattan.

[Cachaca_Dave]

You know you're a cocktail geek when...

...you don't drink vodka.

If the culinary world were parallel to popular tastes in spirits (i.e. vodka), the hottest restaurants would proudly trot out their latest plates of flavorless tofu with much ado.  But before eating, most guests would pour fruit syrup over their dishes, then ooh and aah about how good the tofu is.

←

....When such musings inspire you make doodles like this:

Edited June 29, 2006 by Cachaca_Dave (log)

[donbert]

I don't have any more "you might be" items right now.  I'd just like to say that I'm now dreaming of a Hedonism Manhattan.

←

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. On that note,

...a Hedonism Manhattan sounds appealing to you at 10am.

[slkinsey]

I don't have any more "you might be" items right now.  I'd just like to say that I'm now dreaming of a Hedonism Manhattan.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. On that note,

...a Hedonism Manhattan sounds appealing to you at 10am.

It's always nice to have a super-luxe cocktail for the road before you come home from the bar.

[phlip]

sorry not so great at highlighting parts so i accidentally highlighted the hole above libation goddess comment

.......my point is you may be a cocktail snob/geek if the above mentioned quarter ounce in question is your torment and greatest pleasure

.......youd rather never drink again than drink a vodka tonic or soda even taking into account just how much a cocktail snob/geek enjoys a healthy tipple

[Libationgoddess]

When you "accidentally" run out of peach liqueur on Saturday nights so you have to "86" it.

No peach liqueur = no Sex On The Beach drinks or "Woo Woo shots.

It does seem to arrive quickly from the distributor for the rest of the week, though.

Audrey

[Megan Blocker]

I don't have any more "you might be" items right now.  I'd just like to say that I'm now dreaming of a Hedonism Manhattan.

←

Drool...

[eje]

I don't have any more "you might be" items right now.  I'd just like to say that I'm now dreaming of a Hedonism Manhattan.

←

...If you wonder whether Hedonism plus vermouth and bitters equals a Manhattan or a Rob Roy.

[slkinsey]

...if you keep a few promotional bottles of watermelon Pucker in the back just for the giggles.

[Libationgoddess]

Yea, Rob Roy, of course. I was so deep into my rant at that point that there was just no coming back But I think you get the concept.

Audrey

Edited to acclimate to the increased amount of oxygen to my brain after stepping down from the soapbox

[slkinsey]

I don't know about it being a Rob Roy. I mean, Hedonism isn't exactly Scotch. It's a vatted 100% grain whiskey.

On the other hand, it's certainly not rye either. So I guess that makes it not a Manhattan either.

Whatever. I bet it would be awesome, regardless. But also never to be, I think. You'd probably have to go through a bottle of Hedonism to find out which vermouth and bitters to use, and just how much of each, in order to make the perfect drink.

[malarkey]

talk about cocktails over cocktails with cocktailians.

←

cocktailians!! I love it!

you might NOT be a cocktail geek if...

...you get kicked out of the cocktail geek crowd when they discover you don't like campari or frenet branca.

[donbert]

Whatever.  I bet it would be awesome, regardless.  But also never to be, I think.  You'd probably have to go through a bottle of Hedonism to find out which vermouth and bitters to use, and just how much of each, in order to make the perfect drink.

←

I'm sure we could round up enough cocktail geeks just here in NYC who would be willing pitch in for a bottle in the same of science and an evening of Hedonism not-Manhattans. Who else is game?

[KatieLoeb]

...you pay $20 for a drink at the Pegu Club that costs $3.50 anywhere else.

←

$20.00?? Um, excuse me, NOT in my house. This is the second time I've seen this misinformation printed. Would someone kindly show me where there is a $20.00 cocktail on our menu?? Not in my lifetime. So uttlerly absurd; like offering an XO & coke. Yea, of course if someone orders a "Hedonisim" Manhattan, but that's solely an upcharge for an already expensive spirit, and the guest's perrogative. Regular drinks for $12, Champagne cocktails for $16.00.

Other than that, tickled-pink and proud to say that we are guilty as charged on all of the above-listed infractions; and loving that it is our fucking perogative. I'm certain that I can also pretty much speak for all of my bartenders here as well. God bless America.

What did we do tonight?? Worked through umpteen different versions of a daiquiri variant (give or take 1 tsp here and there) just to get it right for y'all....

Sniffing down our noses just for you, with enormous amounts of love (and everyone's interests / personal beverage needs / requirements) in our hearts, we remain your faithful beverage servants,

XXXOOOOAudrey

←

And this, my friends and fellow cocktailians, is precisely why she's the Goddess.

WWAD. A question I ask myself with some frequency.

When I grow up, I want to be a goddess like Audrey. For now I'll settle for being a Muse.

[Megan Blocker]

...if you keep a few promotional bottles of watermelon Pucker in the back just for the giggles.

←