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Dinner Parties


knews9

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What I didn't disclose was the point around 11am that day when my friend remembered that somebody couldn't have spinach or asparagus. I, well, uh, flipped out. I asked how I was supposed to cook...in California where there was so much lovely spring produce...for Passover where food is the point and you're supposed to eat spring-y things...for so many annoying and even competing desires. I have little patience for people who just don't LIKE a million things. I mean we're all entitled to not like a few things but this got ridiculous.

I am proud of my eventual success, but I sort of took it out on my poor friend briefly the morning of the seder. She listened to my rant and then calmly said she understood this was frustrating. She explained that many people in her family have a lot of control issues, and that food ends up becoming the tool they use to express those desires. She admitted she does the same thing (she's one of the no-wheat people). I can see this, although it's a little hard for me to respect.

Nonetheless, once I'd ranted I was over it and instead got all interested in how to make it all fit together. You can complain about the whininess of your guests, or you can get over it and try to challenge yourself to fit those needs. I try to do the latter, though I admit I don't tend to invite the super-picky over too often. I don't need that every time I cook for friends.

I'm curious as to how this is for those cooking in a restaurant. I think that pickiness is one of the things that makes restaurant cooking much harder than home cooking: you're not only expected to accommodate every little whim, you're expected to do so cheerfully and to make interesting and creative food within the boundaries the diner sets. And then you don't even get thanks for doing so; you don't even get the pleasure of watching the diner as they start to trust you, assuming you succeed.

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Oh, please don't get me wrong.

I am VERY accomodating when it comes to entertaining.  In fact, you could say I'm almost obsessive when it comes to ensuring that everyone has a good time.  It's just that there are times when I want to be able to run the gamut of my repertoire without having to worry about person X being allergic to food Y.  And of course, nothing p**ses me off more so than someone who invites a friend at the last minute without informing me, after the menu and the guest list has been confirmed (but that's a minor detail and we won't go there).

*sigh*

Malawry -- IF only you didn't live away from NYC.  hehe.  I take it you can eat fish/shellfish?  And that eggs are acceptable?  Something to keep in mind the next time you happen to visit the Big Apple.

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i'm up in the air on this one--i love to have people over and love to cook for them, and make a point of asking what restrictions folks have, but i think there is a limit.  i am accomodating and want people to have a good time, but i am wary of good time being equated with having one's every wish fulfilled.  

as for the restaurant aspect, i saw a funny outtake of (blanking on his name, of Les Halles fame)'s show where he is complaining bitterly abt diners' absurd request--hollandaise sauce but no butter, etc. this is a different category but not.

i think, malawry, your friend's comment re control is right on. which returns to teh question of being accomodating and making folks happy--if they will only be happy by controlling the entire night, the dinner party doesn't sound like much of a party at all in the end.

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I like to be accommodating. I agree that the worst is when somebody doesn't even make it possible for me to accommodate them. Gah!  And I agree that last-minute guests are so beyond rude. I actually had it out with one friend recently about that issue...they had no idea that their noncommittal attitude was causing me to go through emotional and technical gyrations when I just wanted to cook them dinner sometime. The whole point of having somebody over is I want to have an opportunity to make them feel nice and show off a little in the process, plus it gives me a chance to challenge myself. It's hard to do that if somebody brings their food issues to the table, or doesn't even bother to let you know whether or not they'll be there.

I think if the seder had involved a single person with all those food issues, then that one guest would have been left off the list if humanly possible...or expected to bring a few dishes if they had to be accommodated. As it was, the person who only eats snow peas and artichokes contributed a pea dish. At least this wasn't my family; I'd be so disinclined to cook for my family if I had to deal with a bazillion issues every time.

Why yes, SobaAddict, I do eat eggs and fish and shellfish. I even eat small amounts of the other stuff these days. *bats eyelashes*

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Cool beans.

This thread brings to mind another dinner party I had for a friend and his wife's going away party (they were moving to Suffern, NY which is this little dinky town in Rockland County, just over the border from New Jersey).  My friend tries to keep kosher but more often than not usually settles for a ban on pork/shellfish and is a diabetic to boot.  His wife isn't Jewish, but she's into organic food of all stripes and won't touch anything processed (this last is fine by me -- I rarely consume anything processed -- well, except for Haagen-Dasz or sorbet).

Dinner went well, can't remember everything but there was this standout shepherd's pie made with ground lamb and topped with a sweet potato crust that was a super hit.  Ditto for the roasted winter root vegetables with the lemon viniagrette.  I'll post those recipes later (still at work....)

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Check out this thread on casual finger foods:

http://forums.egullet.org/ikonboard.cgi?act=ST&f=3&t=3019

Sounds like a fun party. What kind of concept were you looking at?

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I used a mint flavoring that we had around the house...just added some to the dough and tasted to correct. My partner adores mint chocolate chip cookies and is always after me to make them, but I never do...so I did that one time as a special treat. My housemate says her sister in law makes them with chopped fresh mint leaves, but I haven't tried that. I probably will once I can get fresh mint from the farm market.

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The shepherd's pie recipe is from a cookbook at home (I'll post tomorrow -- staying late at work tonight).

Roasted Winter Root Vegetables with Lemon Viniagrette

Proportions I'll leave to your individual taste, but try to use a good mix of vegetables appropriate to the season.  Contrary to the recipe title, you can use any mix of seasonal vegetables; its just for this tryout, I used a mix of root veggies:  peeled sliced parsnips, baby carrots, unpeeled quartered red-skinned and white-skinned potatoes, unpeeled diced sweet potatoes, peeled sliced turnips, and brussel sprouts (halved, with the bases cut off).  You could, if you wanted to, toss in some quartered onions and unpeeled garlic cloves.  Its entirely up to you.

1.  Preheat the oven to 350/375 degrees.

2.  Prep veggies.

3.  Toss veggies with 3 T. good Italian or Greek olive oil, and roast for about 45 min. to an hour, depending on the quantity of veggies, or until the veggies are tender.

4.  Serve immediately, along with the lemon viniagrette on the side.

Serves anywhere from 4 to 8 people, depending on appetites and amount of veggies used.

Lemon Viniagrette:

Juice of 3 fresh medium-sized lemons

1 T. grated lemon zest (OR 1 T. shredded crystallized lemon peel)

2 T. balsamic or white wine vinegar (optional)

1 generous T. Dijon (or other type of) mustard

3/4 c. extra-virgin olive oil

Salt and white pepper to taste

Whisk all ingredients together until smooth.  Season to taste.  Makes about 1 cup of viniagrette.

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The following is from "How to Cook Meat" by Chris Schlesinger and John Willoughby -- good if you like grilled stuff (but the other non-grilled items are great also).

I've only made this once (but it was a super hit at the aforementioned dinner party); without further adieu, here it is:

4 large sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2" cubes

1 c. half-and-half, warmed

Kosher salt and freshly cracked black pepper, to taste

3 T. olive oil

3 lbs. ground lamb

3 t. minced garlic

1/4 c. roughly chopped fresh herbs:  any one or a combination of thyme, parsley and/or basil  (note from soba:  you can also use chervil and savory, as I did)

2 red onions, peeled and diced small

2 carrots, peeled and diced small

1 c. fresh or thawed frozen peas

3 T. catsup  (note from soba:  I used banana catsup, which is a product of the Philippines; you can get it from any Asian or Filipino supermarket)

3 T. A-1 sauce  (if you use the banana catsup (5 T.), you can eliminate the A-1 sauce)

1 t. unsalted butter

1.  Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil.  Add the sweet potatoes and cook until they are easily pierced with a fork but still offer resistance, about 15 minutes.  Drain the potatoes, place them in a large bowl, add the half-and-half and salt and pepper, and mash until the potatoes are smooth.  The mixture should be fairly loose.

2.  Preheat the oven to 400 degrees Farenheit.

3.  In a large saute pan, heat 1 T. of the oil over medium-high heat until hot but not smoking.  Add the lamb and cook, stirring occasionally, until well browned, 8 to 10 minutes.  (If using prepackaged ground lamb, you may need to drain off excess fat at this point.)  Add the garlic and cook, stirring frequently, for 2 minutes more.  Add the herbs and stir to mix well, then transfer the lamb to a bowl and set aside.

4.  Wipe out the saute pan, return it to medium-high heat, and heat the remaining 2 T. oil until hot but not smoking.  Add the onions and carrots and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onions are golden brown, 11 to 13 minutes.  Add the peas, catsup and A-1 sauce and cook, stirring frequently, for 4 minutes.  Add the lamb mixture, stir to combine, and season with salt and pepper.

5.  Spread the lamb mixture in a 3-quart casserole dish. Cover the top completely with the sweet potatoes, swirling the potatoes with the back of a spoon to add some surface texture.  Dot with the butter, place in the oven, and bake until the lamb mixture bubbles and the potatoes are golden brown on top, about 40 minutes.  Serve hot.

This will serve about 6 to 8 people.

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My menu came off well.  I overroasted the asparagus and it turned to mush, but luckily I decided that if I was going to be roasting vegetables anyway, I'd throw in some cauliflower, and that came out great.

Both the beef bourguignon and the souffle recipes came from Cook's Illustrated.  I believe the beef is from Jan/Feb 2001 and the souffles from Sep/Oct 1996.  The souffles are a really handy thing to know, because you can freeze them up to two days ahead and they go straight from the freezer to the oven.  Everyone will wonder how you managed to whip up souffles in fifteen unattended minutes.

As much as I rag on CI and make fun of Kimball, probably half of the stuff I make regularly came from that magazine.

Matthew Amster-Burton, aka "mamster"

Author, Hungry Monkey, coming in May

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Oh, I forgot to mention the cheese, which one of our guests had brought back from France.  It was an extremely stinky Corsican sheep cheese in a small round.  (I tried to look it up but was only able to narrow it down to three or four possibilities;  apparently most Corsican cheese are washed-rind sheep.)  The smell was stronger than the taste, which showed a mild sheepy tang, and it was great on some baguette slices.

Matthew Amster-Burton, aka "mamster"

Author, Hungry Monkey, coming in May

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Tonight I'm making a birthday dinner for our friend Mindy. She always wants the same thing, pasta with black bean sauce. The black beans are Chinese fermented soy beans that look exactly like rat turds (and some people say they smell just like them, too). But they taste great. I learned this recipe from a great local chef named David Estes, who had a very popular restaurant here in Portland about 10 years ago named Eddie Lees, which was neither his or his partner's name, and it wasn't Asian either. His version included shrimp and tomatoes, but we prefer the sauce plain.

I process about a cup of the beans in the Cuisinart, then add them to a bunch of fresh ginger and garlic that have sizzled in olive oil for a few minutes...then flour to make a roux, chicken stock, and a few shots of flavoring (sesame oil, oyster sauce, soy)...simmer until thickened, then stir in an entire bunch of chopped cilantro (I just use the leaves so I don't get a lot of little stem bits, but the stems have good flavor, too) and remove from heat. Serve with long pasta (spaghettini my choice) and Parmigiano.

There's a more complete recipe on my site:

black bean sauce

I roasted some peppers earlier in the week, so I'll probably serve them with braised leeks and arugula from the garden. A simple green salad and bread (just picked up a loaf from our newest killer bakery, Ken's Artisan Bakery).

Jim

olive oil + salt

Real Good Food

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stellabella--did you hear the NPR piece on grits?  you can probably get it on line at www.npr.org

No!  More than likely because my local station has been having fund raising and programming is reduced to about a third :sad:   I will try to track it down...?  Grits are great, though, and not just as a breakfast food--texture and freshness are everything, and combined with the right ingredients they can do just about anything--sweet, savory, I'm sure there are grit desserts.  In fact one of my favorite memories from Laura Ingalls Wilder comes from her first book and an account of the family's first move away from the Minnesota woods to the Western prairie-- before they left her grandmother fed the kids a meal called "hasty pudding"-- boiled cornmeal with pure maple syrup drizzled on top--this sounds so DE-LISH-US.

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edemuth, I like grits too! (As long as it's polenta.) :wink:

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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I have been trying to think of a better name than 'Dinner Party' for when there are only three or four people.  Any ideas?

I cooked a meal for three last Friday.

Olives and a bowl of tzatziki with sparkling Prosecco

Seared scallops on slices of fortunella sausage and courgette with a red spring onion.

Peperoni of Italian red pepper with flash fried squid and basil.

Fresh crab mixed with a sauté of fat pancetta and dill.  Small moulds set up with gelatine and served with a small, mixed leaf balsamic salad.  Very crabby.

Cockles warmed through in a cream and lemon fish soup.

All served with a 2000 Sancerre.

Breast and leg of guinea fowl roasted with potatoes, buttered spinach and a purée of carrot and celeriac.  Sauce of fowl stock and morels, monté au beurre.

Served with a 1975 Ch la Clotte Blanche, Côtes de Bourg - £5.00

Cheese board with a 1955 Warres vintage port.

Sorbet of summer fruits with fresh raspberries. (Don't forget a pinch of salt in your sorbets :-)

Home-made vanilla ice cream with Spanish strawberries.

Desserts with a Canadian ice wine.

Espresso coffee and limoncello.

Did not take any photos this time.

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Steve M, how about "dinner"?

"I've caught you Richardson, stuffing spit-backs in your vile maw. 'Let tomorrow's omelets go empty,' is that your fucking attitude?" -E. B. Farnum

"Behold, I teach you the ubermunch. The ubermunch is the meaning of the earth. Let your will say: the ubermunch shall be the meaning of the earth!" -Fritzy N.

"It's okay to like celery more than yogurt, but it's not okay to think that batter is yogurt."

Serving fine and fresh gratuitous comments since Oct 5 2001, 09:53 PM

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my saturday evening dinner party went well, i think, mainly because i kept it simple and very pared down:

chicken chunks and zucchini sauteed in harissa over spicy couscous w/ dried cranberries.  roasted caulflower with cumin seeds.  lemon curd.  very easy, a crowd pleaser.

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