Waiters kneeling down at the table

[davebr]

One of my new waiters kneels down at the table to talk to the people and I dont really like it. Whenever I have any employee change the way they do things I have a reason behind it. I cant figure out why I dont like it, I just dont. Am I being weird? Should I allow it or not and why?

[Gifted Gourmet]

I have a feeling that the answer to your question is right in here:

Waiter tip tricks ...

article from Cornell ...

Nonverbal server behaviors that communicate liking for the customer, such as lightly touching the customer and crouching next to the table when interacting with the customer, substantially increase the tips restaurant servers receive. These findings suggest that managers can significantly increase their employees' compensation without adversely affecting the company's bottom line by encouraging their servers to touch customers and to display other nonverbal signs of liking for the customer.

[jglazer75]

Nonverbal server behaviors that communicate liking for the customer, such as lightly touching the customer and crouching next to the table when interacting with the customer, substantially increase the tips restaurant servers receive. These findings suggest that managers can significantly increase their employees' compensation without adversely affecting the company's bottom line by encouraging their servers to touch customers and to display other nonverbal signs of liking for the customer.

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The next waiter to touch gets touched back. And, I'm not a child, I don't need the waiter at my eye level. Moreover, the next waiter to sit down at my table with me will receive no tip whatsoever.

OK, I'm not a professional or anything, just an irritated patron who gets REALLY irritated when servers do these things. On the plus side, I don't normally hold it against the restaurant unless I see that ALL of the servers are doing it. I'll just take it out on the server (and his tip).

[Chris Amirault]

One of my new waiters kneels down at the table to talk to the people and I dont really like it.  Whenever I have any employee change the way they do things I have a reason behind it.  I cant figure out why I dont like it, I just dont.  Am I being weird?  Should I allow it or not and why?

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In the world of early childhood education, it is standard procedure to kneel or squat when talking to a child, so as to promote eye contact, model good communication, and so on. Similarly, many disability rights advocates urge those who can stand to sit when talking to people who use wheelchairs.

While it may be a "good idea" in the abstract, I do think that one server doing it in the context of a staff that doesn't do it makes that server stand out -- which the server may like and you may not. So... I dunno.

[highchef]

Is he exceptionally tall?

[NulloModo]

I would assume he does it to appear more personable? I know I am in the minority here on this, but I appreciate when servers initiate a light touch, or kneel down, or sit down at the booth, promotes a more friendly atmosphere.

[hshiau]

I think this would depend on the restaurant as well. If I were at my local pub or a Hooters, I'd have no problem with the server sitting down and touching me.

[davebr]

Is he exceptionally tall?

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The odd thing is no, he is very short.

[Mark Sommelier]

One of my new waiters kneels down at the table to talk to the people and I dont really like it.  Whenever I have any employee change the way they do things I have a reason behind it.  I cant figure out why I dont like it, I just dont.  Am I being weird?  Should I allow it or not and why?

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In a formal service atmosphere, kneeling down is inappropriate. The only restaurant I ever ate in where it seemed natural for the waiter to kneel down at the table was a Morrocan restaurant where we were all lounging on low couches.

[winegeek]

Two words; NO KNEELING!!!

[Hest88]

How casual is your restaurant? If it's a family restaurant I wouldn't see it as a problem, but in a more formal atmosphere it would be very annoying.

[petite tête de chou]

Good lord, don't kneel at my table and don't ever, EVER touch me. Ever.

[Gifted Gourmet]

If there is a lot of "background noise", the kneeling down might just be an attempt to hear the customer's order more effectively ...

[PopsicleToze]

Good lord, don't kneel at my table and don't ever, EVER touch me. Ever.

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Amen!

[Chris Amirault]

Is he exceptionally tall?

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The odd thing is no, he is very short.

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So... um... what exactly happens when he kneels down near the table? (I assume that your diners sit at a table in chairs; if not, then ignore.) If he's below their line of vision, then it must actually be very strange for the diners. How very odd....

[Gifted Gourmet]

I still have to give the waiter the benefit of the doubt and consider all of the issues which might make this occur ... hearing properly, as I said, is high among the reasons in my opinion ...

[artisanbaker]

this is especially desireable at a place like hooters for example

[bleudauvergne]

This reminds me of a time in my earlier days here when I met an American waiter here, in a French cafe. The waiter who took my order noticed I was American (I ordered scrambled eggs and hot cocoa at 10 am - dead giveaway) and sent the American waiter to talk to me. I was a bit offended at first, because I spoke perfect restaurant French at the time, wondering why they felt the need to send the rookie American waiter to me, but then I just thought it was nice that they thought of me, after all. The waiter had been on the job for a couple of weeks. I would have thought he was French from the way he held himself in general as he waited on the other tables though. When he spoke to me, however, it became obvious at once that he had extensive experience in a chain type environment in the States. He squarely put both hands on the back of the chair, maintained direct eye contact, put one foot forward and leaned, like he was doing a stretch in a casual kind of way, bending down closer to my level, and the cloth that was draped over his arm got over the chair in front of him in a perfectly natural but completely out of place attempt to look like he was my friend. At a glance I could tell immediately that the other waiters were completely disturbed by what this guy did. They were looking at him like some kind of specimen. He stuck it out though, over time, and I admired his perserverence to really get the French waiter thing down because it is so completely formal here.

Kneeling at the table - I think this may be chain behavior. If he's holding a ukaleili I guess that's alright.

[pam claughton]

Actually, I think it seems a little condescending, and waaay too casual. I've been a server and would never do this, and as a customer, I just want a server who is personable, but most importantly who knows the menu inside and out.

I would HATE it if a server touched me.

[Chris Amirault]

Kneeling at the table - I think this may be chain behavior.  If he's holding a ukaleili I guess that's alright.

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Now that I hadn't considered! Didn't Tiny Tim die?!?

[bloviatrix]

If you feel the kneeling is inappropriate and you want all of your waitstaff acting a particular way, by all means ask him to stop doing it. I'm not a big fan of kneeling -- I feel like I'm being treated like a child.

As for touching -- god helps the waiter who lays a hand on me. I absolutely despise being touched by strangers.

[jetsie]

I never want waiters kneeling or attempting to cuddle me unless I'm at a chic preschool-themed restaurant.

If this does not describe your place, you can just tell your waiter it's a little too informal for your style.

[Daniel Rogov]

Why do I have the odd suspicion that women get touched more often by male waiters and men more by females? Whatever the feeling, I am opposed to such contact. Several years ago, when visiting Atlanta, Georgia, a waiter put his hand very gently on the shoulder of my female companion. She very quietly whispered to him "if you're trying to be my lover, that's not the right approach, and if you want a decent tip you'll take your hand off me at once".

[Jaymes]

When this happens to me, as it just did last week, I always say, "Oh, my, I see you're kneeling. I've read that that's a trick that's supposed to increase your tips! Does it work?"

Not only do they bounce right up in an embarrassed manner, which I enjoy, but I've gotten some interesting conversations out of it, as well.

[NulloModo]

I find it really interesting to see how so many of you here so vehemently opposed to the contact, is there a particular reason for that? I've never known it to be a big deal, and in the case of a waitress with male diners, or a waiter with female, amongst many people I associate with, friends, peers, etc, it seems to even be encouraged... I wonder if I live in whacko-land (as opposed to Jacko-land, where other touching is the norm).

Actually, as a male, I don't even mind contact from male waiters. There is a delightful little (well, pretty big actually) diner in West Hollywood called The French Quarter. Almost all of the waitstaff there are gay men, and if you go in as a man, they have a delightful habit of fawning over you and placing hands along your neck or back as they take orders/bring drinks, etc. As odd and potentiall out of place the behavior seems, it does a lot to make one feel welcome there and not out of place, even if you aren't homosexual yourself.