Liquor Filters

[slkinsey]

The Grey Kangaroo Liquor Filter

Now you can:

-Filter out the impurities which cause nausea and hangover!

-Improve the taste of hard liquor!

-Filter any kind of hard liquor!

-Filter whole bottles in minutes & restore the liquore to its original bottle!

-NO REDUCTION OF ALCOHOL CONTENT!

[MatthewB]

Note how Sam *always* provides a disclaimer when mentioning products.

And he *didn't* on this one.

[mixmaster b]

This is chilling!

No hangover sounds kind of tempting, but I like my booze to taste like booze!!!

[MatthewB]

This is chilling!

No hangover sounds kind of tempting, but I like my booze to taste like booze!!!

Note the copious use of qualifiers on the website. (*May* reduce hangovers, etc.)

Sam's peddling snakeoil.

[slkinsey]

Ssssssssshhhhhhut uuuuuuuuuuuuup, Matthew...

I already told you I'd cut you in for 25% of the take from these suckers-- er, gourmands.

[MatthewB]

Ssssssssshhhhhhut uuuuuuuuuuuuup, Matthew...

I already told you I'd cut you in for 25% of the take from these suckers-- er, gourmands.

Stop telling me such things after we've knocked off a couple of finely filtered fifths.

Yeah, I'm not hungover the next day but I can't remember shit.

[slkinsey]

And, I think you will admit, we've got some pretty impressive celebrities lined up to promote the product!

[MatthewB]

And, I think you will admit, we've got some pretty impressive celebrities lined up to promote the product!

Is that dude filtering booze that his liver already filtered?

A new twist on "double-filtration."

[slkinsey]

"That dude?!" Dude, don't you know who that dude is?

Edited July 11, 2003 by slkinsey (log)

[MatthewB]

"That dude?!"  Dude, don't you know who that dude is?

Nope.

But whoever he is he's gettin' jiggy with the Grey Kangaroo.

Edit: Just realized that was a hyperlink above. Heard the name but I'm sheltered.

Edited July 11, 2003 by MatthewB (log)

[Varmint]

I love the juxtaposition of the filter in that Jeremy photo. Absolutely perfect!

[Jason Perlow]

http://www.liquorfilter.com/

Turn Popov into Belvedere? Or is this another Wine Clip?

http://www.liquorfilter.com/f_science.htm

[jsolomon]

I would tend to say that it is going to be a wine clip. The types of filters I know of that can do something like that are either going to peeter out much before 100L of hooch, be too slow at gravity drive to give you any satisfaction at all, or the first part will be much better, but then all of your uberplonk will be driven off the filter at some point before 100L and will come off more concentrated than before.

I'll run it by my chromatography professor and see if he has any opinions.

[Jason Perlow]

I'm trying to get one of these things for evaluation.

[Cusina]

The answer to my Prayers??

Well, it's dramatic. I'll be interested to see what you think when you get one.

[beans]

Shady.

I wouldn't be surprised if it is a coffee filter in the middle of some PVC tube. Sort of reminds me about the solar dryers once advertised in the back of some magazine. Legend has it when one mailed away for the information along with their money order/cashier's check/SASE/etc., they got in return a clothes line and pins.

I particularly enjoy the following from their website:

You’ll notice a major difference between the way a 7 dollar liter of vodka cleans up compared to an 8 dollar liter.

There's a difference?

I see an AIM method of contacting the company. I couldn't resist. "liquorfilter" was on line, but away from their computer, however now they are popping up telling me their product is "cool" and asking if I tried it.

edit to add: "liquorfilter" just told me via AIM they had to run but that I needed to check out their website....

Edited December 15, 2003 by beans (log)

[fresco]

If these simple tricks worked, why aren't the distillers already using them?

I used to know a guy who vowed that adding a bit of sherry to a cheap rye would make it taste like an expensive rye, but not being a rye drinker, I've never been tempted.

Has anyone ever stumbled across a successful trick for improving the taste of cheap liquor?

[jsolomon]

If these simple tricks worked, why aren't the distillers already using them?

I used to know a guy who vowed that adding a bit of sherry to a cheap rye would make it taste like an expensive rye, but not being a rye drinker, I've never been tempted.

Has anyone ever stumbled across a successful trick for improving the taste of cheap liquor?

Mixing it with something acidic, sweet, and salty all at once, a la bloody mary's?

[jhlurie]

That website is hilarious. Particularly the guy in the Red Sox jersey who's brandishing it like it's his favorite bong or something.

Also: note that "hot chicks" will serve your alcohol (or they will appear "hot") after using this product. I mean the website practically promises this!

[beans]

If these simple tricks worked, why aren't the distillers already using them?

In the example of vodka, there is a balance of flavours the master distiller would like to maintain.

Regarding whisk(e)y, this website is on the whole grossly misleading the consumer regarding what one is paying for -- the cost of expensive advertising. What about the old "gigo" concept (or something similar to that -- what goes in = what comes out; or literally "garbage in garbage out")? Or what about the mellow aging and careful blending?

Has anyone ever stumbled across a  successful trick for improving the taste of cheap liquor?

During university this is something that was the foremost of all imbibing efforts on a tight budget, and a "Harry Buffalo" comes to mind with the dumping of rot gut alcohol and mixing in fruit and various Kool Aids.

But seriously, it would be interesting to learn of which cocktails were popular and developed during the time of Prohibition and speakeasies (sp???) were the sole source. What did they do to doctor up that bat-tub variety of gin? After recently watching that History Channel program Time Traveler: Rumrunners, Bootleggers and Moonshiners I think they may have mentioned that "the Purple Gang" smuggled liquor from Canada and then cut it down to create more volume/product to sell. I think the comments made were similar to speculation that this end product liquor was little more than turpentine!

[fresco]

If this gadget was actually plausible, wouldn't you be able to achieve the same result by running cheap vodka through your Brita?

[jsolomon]

If this gadget was actually plausible, wouldn't you be able to achieve the same result by running cheap vodka through your Brita?

Well, yes and no. A filter does not perform the same through all liquids, otherwise we would be filtering our water with purolator or fram oil filters, which we don't. To my knowledge, that is. So, I think that if the liquorfilter works like a brita, you would not have quite as satisfactory results simply using a brita. However, I'm anxious to be proven wrong (but I trust my digestive tract and drink my water plain from the tap).

It sort of reminds me of the old legend that you could "renature" denatured alcohol by dumping it through a loaf of bread. You can't.

Edit to fix a brain-fart on liquids.

Edited December 15, 2003 by jsolomon (log)

[KatieLoeb]

During university this is something that was the foremost of all imbibing efforts on a tight budget, and a "Harry Buffalo" comes to mind with the dumping of rot gut alcohol and mixing in fruit and various Kool Aids. 

Beans:

Would this be a "HAIRY Buffalo?"

Of course there's always draining the bar mat into a shot glass and getting some unsuspecting fool co-worker to drink it...

[beans]

During university this is something that was the foremost of all imbibing efforts on a tight budget, and a "Harry Buffalo" comes to mind with the dumping of rot gut alcohol and mixing in fruit and various Kool Aids. 

Beans:

Would this be a "HAIRY Buffalo?"

Of course there's always draining the bar mat into a shot glass and getting some unsuspecting fool co-worker to drink it...

There's a bartender we love to raz named Harry. I'm always blocking out the proper spelling of that stuff.

And, that bar mat shot has been a popular thing to do to newbies, only ones that were liked, by our smart-ass, long time bartenders* who like to pull on those poor new hires throught out the summer schedule.

edited for clarity

*all guys -- must be viewed as a manly thing to hold something that vile down without wretching :yuk smilie:

Edited December 15, 2003 by beans (log)

[tryska]

if ron jeremy says so, it's got to be a great product....