Saltines: Hopelessly Square

[maggiethecat]

Saltines with Cheese Whiz was the junk food of my youth, and God, I loved it. Today, Saltines seem to function mostly as a Distant Early Warning in a cubicle: if you see a woman with a sleeve of Saltines on her desk, she's pregnant and ain't sayin' yet. The guys have a bag of Cheetos for their midmorning snack.

Full disclosure: For reasons I can't fully comprehend, I'm writing a piece about Saltines. Damn , I should be typing away about Molecular Gastronomy or something sexy, but I'm stuck on Saltines. Help a girl out:

Saltines were used in escallopes, as breading, as filler for a meat loaf. I'm trolling for further adventures with Saltines, like their place on a platter of of oysters in New Orleans (Lance's) or the mattress for a canned sardine at one of my Grandmother's Liverpudlian girlfriends at High Tea---Toronto, circa 1963.

Any salty reminiscences or cool recipes?

[Gifted Gourmet]

Paula Deen kicks saltines up a notch here

This is mighty good when you need a "base" for an appetizer!

[LaurieA-B]

Today, Saltines seem to function mostly as a Distant Early Warning in a cubicle: if you see a woman with a sleeve of Saltines on her desk, she's pregnant and ain't sayin' yet. 

So true--when I was pregnant last spring, I didn't want to share the news until I was past the first trimester, so I hid my saltines every day at work.

My mother-in-law (heyjude) gave me the recipe for Soda Cracker Toffee, which I have made with saltines several times for Christmas. It's delicious.

Even when I haven't liked to drink milk very much, I've enjoyed a snack of saltines and a small glass of milk. It always reminds me of the movie Roman Holiday, because the princess is served milk and crackers for her bedtime snack.

My first cooking, as a very small child, was to crunch up saltines in a pan on my Fisher-Price stove and liberally salt and pepper them.

[maggiethecat]

My mother-in-law (heyjude) gave me the recipe for Soda Cracker Toffee, which I have made with saltines several times for Christmas. It's delicious.

Care to expound? Any recipe of heyjude's is golden.

[Suzanne F]

Saltines (Nabisco, please; NEVER the Keebler version) were one of the staples of my childhood. And youth. And young adulthood. And middle age. And whatever stage I'm in now. Although for many years now I've only eaten the unsalted variety (Unsaltines?) Tried the whole wheat, tried the low-fat: there's nothing as satisfying as a simple saltine.

For us, it was 4 saltines and one slice of American cheese, folded/torn into quarters. Or that last little bit of tuna salad, as the elegant pre-dinner nibble. Or just a thin layer of butter (sweet, of course) to bring out the inherent nuttiness-saltiness-wheatiness of the cracker. Crumbled into Campbell's Vegetarian Vegetable Soup to give it body or, for a real treat, floated whole on my mother's chicken broth, to bloat and sog and become one with the golden liquid. (That sounds gross, but really was wonderful.)

I haven't checked out the link GG posted, but I'll bet it's for "Souffled Crackers" -- soak the saltines in water, then bake them dry again. Who has to go to all that trouble? Saltines are one of the rare foods that are perfect as they come out of the package. In fact, I just has some for dinner tonight, along side my room temp pasta/tuna/white bean/tomato melange on fresh salad greens. Heaven!

So this morning I checked the link to Paula Deen's "recipe" -- not what I thought, but simply gilding the lily. It's a sad state of affairs when people need to be told how to doll up crackers. The "souffle saltines" I was thinking of just soaks them in water, then bakes them to re-crisp. Somehow, I seem to remember that Kim W-B posted something about that, ages ago.

Edited July 23, 2004 by Suzanne F (log)

[Carrot Top]

Well, this is neither cool nor particularly creative, but Saltines have always been one of the few things that almost any child I've met is willing to eat. (And that is saying a mouthful nowadays, as many children seemingly have not been taught to politely 'try just one bite' even if they happen to be dining at a friend's house...they will only eat pizza or chicken nuggets or bologna sandwiches or of course potato chips!)

Back to the subject! Saltines spread with peanut butter, with jelly, with slices of cheddar cheese, with marshmallow fluff! accompanied by apple wedges and carrot sticks have never been turned down yet by any of the many little visitors to our home. Sort of like a mini kids smorgasbord.

Good things to have around, Saltines.

And of course, I have to crunch them up in a bowl of Campbells Tomato Soup made with milk when I don't 'feel good', just like Mom did...

[Gifted Gourmet]

possible recipe here? I have made this with matzos, instead of the soda crackers, for Passover and it is divine .. called Caramel Matzo Crunch ...

[Mayhaw Man]

Hey don't knock saltines. How else do you expect to get your Hormel Potted Meat Food Product out of the can. Captain's Wafers will never do. They have neither the tensile strength or the strong salty taste to overcome the even stronger taste of that delicious combination of all of that top quality

Mechanically Separated Chicken, Beef Tripe, Partially Defatted Cooked Beef Fatty Tissue, Beef Hearts, Water, Partially Defatted Cooked Pork Fatty Tissue

.

Saltines are another useful tool in the fisherman's box of survival and I salute the men and women who make saltines, along with the good folks at Hormel - makers of Vienna Sausage, Potted Meat, and Spam for their fine work and wish them continued success for many years to come.

[slbunge]

I loved saltines (mostly topped with a dollup of peanut butter) but haven't had them in years. We also did the four-quarter-fold of the Kraft Singles to top four saltines.

I remember the 'tin box' that we had in the cupboard. The light blue top, the reprint of the Nabisco box on the label. It was battered but survived my whole childhood...I need to call mom and see if she still has it.

Another memory was the first time the red psudo-twist-tie thingies appeared on each plastic sleeve so they could be resealed. That was progress.

[Gifted Gourmet]

I haven't checked out the link GG posted, but I'll bet it's for "Souffled Crackers" -- soak the saltines in water, then bake them dry again. Who has to go to all that trouble?

Nope, Suzanne, I know about making "Souffled Crackers" but this is a butter-dip with sprinkled seeds on top .. crunchy personified ...

[Jinmyo]

We called them "soda biscuits."

My primary impression of saltines was formed as a child when I had some sharp cheddar crumbled between two of them and was perplexed by how strongly the flavour reminded me of corn.

[fifi]

There are some things for which there is no substitute. And... They have to be Nabisco, not low fat, salt or any other such nonsense. Nabisco Saltines are deeply etched into my psyche and part of the reason for my obsession with science. (But that is another very long story.)

There are some recipes for which nothing else will do. Crumbled into the tomato soup made with milk is certainly one of them. To that I will add a very old family recipe for Pickled Shrimp. I have actually done side by side testing with various other frou-frou crackers and saltines win out every time. I think the same is true of ceviche, fish stews and chowders. Shrimp or crab cocktail is another one.

My ex-MIL would warm the Saltines in the oven before serving them in a basket swathed with a linen towel, with soup or whatever. It was an elegant thing and very good.

[Carrot Top]

possible recipe here? I have made this with matzos, instead of the soda crackers, for Passover and it is divine .. called Caramel Matzo Crunch ... 

There is a recipe similar to this but that is a cookie...with crumbled saltines, melted chocolate, brown sugar, raisins and goodness knows what else, similar to 'Preacher's Balls'.

I've seen it several times in community cookbooks in the Southeast, but don't have a copy unfortunately...

[Gifted Gourmet]

There is a recipe similar to this but that is a cookie...with crumbled saltines, melted chocolate, brown sugar, raisins and goodness knows what else, similar to 'Preacher's Balls'.

Now that is one recipe I certainly would remember!!

[Carrot Top]

Yup, a memorable recipe for more reasons than one!

Here's another...I used to have an old copy of The Settlement Cookbook, printed in 1947. It had many basic and useful recipes that you could not find anywhere else.

I THINK there was a recipe for an adaptation of Milk Toast (something I have never indulged in) made with saltines crumbled into a bowl and topped with butter and hot milk. Under the 'Invalid Foods' section.

Interesting subject, saltines. Who would have thought...can't wait to see what else comes up here.

[mrbigjas]

Saltines are a wonderful thing. We ate so many of them growing up--I remember potato soup, loaded up with cheese and saltines; clam chowder loaded up with saltines to the point where you could eat it with a fork...

and slbunge, the american cheese jawn? aaaaawwww yeah. all the time.

My only interesting tidbit about saltines is that I've eaten them my whole life and didn't realize until very recently that they're almost nutritionally void.

[LaurieA-B]

Care to expound?  Any recipe of heyjude's  is golden.

Here's a recipe filled with crackery goodness: Soda Cracker Toffee

[bloviatrix]

When I was growing up one of my favorite lunches to bring to school was saltines liberally schmeared with peanut butter. My mom would actually make me extras because she knew they were so popular with my friends.

Nowadays the only time I eat saltines is when I'm suffering from a bad stomach. I had surgery 2 years ago and that was the only thing I could keep down for the first few days. On those occasions I'm always reminded how good they are - I can demolish a sleeve of them in a single sitting.

[JAZ]

We ate the usual saltines with peanut butter or cheese and crumbled them into cream of tomato soup, but we also ate them in one of my family's specialties -- buttered and sprinkled with "parmesan" cheese from the green can, then run under the broiler until they were crispy.

Because my entire family seems to suffer from a mental ailment that makes us forget anything placed under the broiler, they were often beyond crispy and well on the way to burned (my mother aways called those "nicely browned").

The most memorable instance of the snack + forgetful tendency occurred when my sister and I were in high school. She made up a batch, stuck them in the oven, and forgot about them until we smelled the unmistakeable stench of carbonized cheese. She pulled out the pan and we were treated to the sight of a dozen saltines all on fire with a slow flame, like small flat briquettes. We lived in the Seattle area at the time, so of course it was raining, and I'll never forget her reaction to the sight of the flaming crackers: she opened the sliding glass door off the kitchen, stood at the threshold and flung them out onto the patio, where they sizzled and eventually dissolved.

We didn't speak of it, and I think that was the last time we made them.

[Priscilla]

Oh my saltines are among the closest thing to perfection extant, I think. Mags I hope you are writing from the yes-saltine camp.

And I keep learning things about them. Like, for instance, talking to a friend about how I don't buy saltines unless there is a Saltine Occasion on account of their irresistibility, and the concomitant problem of once a sleeve (funny how everybody calls it a sleeve, ain't it?) is opened how the crackers just aren't as wildly good the next day, no matter HOW nuclear-annihilation-proof one tries to store them, and she told me her Mom used saltines to bread pork chops before frying the living hell out of them in shallow oil.

I said, I can use that.

So I have, here in middle adulthood, crushed up day-old or older saltines and used them to coat nicely brined pork loin chops before frying gently in butter with plenty of salt and pepper, and it was one of the very best pork preparations ever ever EVER. Ever. And not even as homely as anticipated.

[fifi]

I forgot about the New Orleans breakfast classic... Lightly sweetened creole cream cheese with those warmed saltines.

I also had forgotten about the tin. My mother had one, too. I wish I could find one. I will have to check e-bay.

[sparrowgrass]

Oh, lordy, I love saltines, too. In my family, there were always saltines alongside the chili--I don't think they had invented tortilla chips yet. I can see my dad right now, laying a slab of butter onto his saltine. The rest of us were eating margarine--the "real" butter was Daddy's. (I don't remember feeling deprived--the butter was hard to spread.)

On top--sardines in tomato sauce , or tuna salad, or butter. I could eat a stick of butter and a tube (not a sleeve) of saltines right now.

Edited to add: We had a tin, too, and it had Spanish on one side, which fascinated me. I now have a "Georgia Crackers" tin, that I bought a long time ago. Those crackers were a Ritz type, as I recall.

Edited July 23, 2004 by sparrowgrass (log)

[hjshorter]

I love them too. Nowadays they're usually topped with sardines in mustard sauce, but as a kid we spread them with butter and a little sprinkle of sugar. Crunchy buttery sweet and salty. Mmmmmmm. And we crumbled them liberally into any kind of soup.

I have two small kids and Nabisco Saltines are always in the house.

Priscilla, we have pork chops for dinner tonight. I'm going to try the saltine coating.

Edited July 23, 2004 by hjshorter (log)

[Malawry]

My grandmothers both always had them around the house. Dad's mom had a pool that we'd go over to swim in frequently during those North Carolina summers, and after a dip I always ate a handful of plain saltines on the back patio. Mom's mom made chopped liver for every family occasion or holiday, which she always served with saltines. As a child I was only interested in the saltines, but as I got older I was just as passionate about schmearing as much liver as possible on top of them.

I have never cooked with saltines, though I have made matzah toffee candy before. For that matter, I have made other crackers before, but I have never attempted to make saltines.

[iguana]

Mmm-- the marrow from soup bones, spread on Saltines. I had a craving for this just the other day, so I had to make beef-barley soup in 90-degree Chicago weather. It was heavenly.