Meats of The Future

[Fat Guy]

Mr. Cutlets, in your opinion, as our foremost prognosticator of meat, where do you see the future of meat going? Do you believe science will bring us new meats? Will people eat more meat or less in the future? Would you please predict the state of meat 50, 100, 1000, and 10,000 years from now? Thank you for your attention to this important matter.

[Mister_Cutlets]

This is one of my favorite topics, albeit one of the most gruesome ones. I have often, in the twilight of my years, looked forward to a genetically engineered future in which immense "kobe-style" hogs are bread for majestically marbled pork chops and freakish cows are created with spinalis dorsii muscles (the exquisite "lip" at the top of the rib-eye steak) as big as shell loins. I long for a chicken that is all skin, and a boneless duck that I can eat with one hand. But all this is perhaps too ambitious.

If the current trends continue, beef and pork will continue to get leaner and less tasty, people will insist that they like it better that way, and eventually the beef, pork and veal that we know and love will become a luxury item like single-malt scotch. People will still eat more meat than they should, and die in exactly the same rates; but their lives will be bleaker, and their meals hardly worth eating. This is the prophecy of Mr. Cutlets.