Culinary Signs of the Apocalypse: 2010

[Chris Amirault]

Wow. Source please?

[Fat Guy]

I'll take two.

[MaxH]

Tough though it is to follow the amazing Liberace appliance, due diligence demands reporting a friend's complaint of deluge advertising from her local Olive Garden chain restaurant for "Lasagna Fritta:"

Parmesan-breaded lasagna pieces, fried and served over alfredo sauce, topped with parmesan cheese and marinara sauce.

It's as if those battered and deep-fried Twinkies and Mars Bars emerging from Scotland some years ago (to join the existing rancid-deep-fat food stalls at US beach boardwalks) are moving toward "the middle of the plate."

[Peter the eater]

The definitive Liberace database., of course. The toilet-shaped nut warmers were made in 1975 when Liberace was the main show in Vegas. I don't own one -- I discovered it while researching a chocolate factory in Dartmouth NS who recently closed their plant after 75 years. Liberace did TV ads for Moirs Pot of Gold Chocolates.

[chezcherie]

dont know if this is the proper place to post this, but i feel compelled to document my experience.

while making the sunday morning coffee, i mindlessly snapped on the kitchen tv, only to see sandra lee, dressed in a nightmare-inducing elvira-ish get up, scooping the guts out of both a pre-made pumpkin pie and a cheesecake, slapped the innards around in a bowl with heavy cream, and filled tartlet shells with the goo. some lucky tartlets got a mishmash of both . sandra chirped that you could moosh up the eviserated pie crust and plop it on top of ice cream.

i'm going back to bed.

[Dakki]

Come on, you have to love Sandra Lee. She makes the rest of us look so good!

[catdaddy]

Vodka drinks stuff recalls a quip of a generation ago: The Phillips Screwdriver. (Vodka and Milk of Magnesia.)

Considering the physical state of the Baby Boomers, I suggest the Piledriver -- vodka and prune juice.

LOL

[xxchef]

Surely the end is near...

"Tavern on the Green morphs into a food court"

This NYC Central Park restaurant icon since 1934, which closed its doors last New Years, has been converted into a tres shee-shee "food court" with four high-end food trucks serving everything from artisan ice cream to truffled chick peas.

Granted, the Tavern was long past its prime when it finally closed but puh-leeze!

[Pierogi]

Surely the end is near...

"Tavern on the Green morphs into a food court"

This NYC Central Park restaurant icon since 1934, which closed its doors last New Years, has been converted into a tres shee-shee "food court" with four high-end food trucks serving everything from artisan ice cream to truffled chick peas.

Granted, the Tavern was long past its prime when it finally closed but puh-leeze!

I thought I was the only one outside of NYC that was devastated by this. The thought of the Crystal Room being demolished makes me ill. And FOOD TRUCKS, fer cryin' out loud.....?!?!?

I was actually also really surprised that there wasn't any more outrage/sadness posted as responses to the Times article than there was. Wha' up with that?

[Lindacakes]

Ummmmm, can we go back to that espresso prostitution thing for a minute?

I'm picturing some kind of insane Fellini-esque sex show in Bangkok that features a pimped out espresso machine featuring bare-breasted carytids with eagle wings that come to life and step off the machine to serve you . . .

[DLim]

Sexpresso? 9-year old news to the Japanese, who have already taken the idea to a strange and kinky place.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maid_cafe

Edited November 9, 2010 by DLim (log)

[xxchef]

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

[Florida]

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

Holy Shit! that is unbelievable, yet even worse is the recipe that follows: Velveeta Cheese Fudge.

[Dakki]

O Lawd.

You do realize one of us is going to have to make it and report back?

[TheFuzzy]

Just one sign:

Canned Vegetarian Haggis

[andiesenji]

Just one sign:

Canned Vegetarian Haggis

I saw a similar product on Amazon while looking for another product.

Vegetarian haggis

The END is near!

[nakji]

Another sure sign...

Homemade Velveeta

This recipe brought to you by the good folks at New England Cheesemaking Supply Company who are normally pretty down-to-earth and all 'round FANTASTIC resource and source of supply for home cheese makers.

To their credit, they are at least a bit defensive about publishing this particular recipe and, in that it is made from scratch and from fresh milk, it's got to be better for you than real Velveeta. "Real Velveeta" - now there's an oxymoron for you!

Holy Shit! that is unbelievable, yet even worse is the recipe that follows: Velveeta Cheese Fudge.

Should we file that under "Pestilence" or "Famine"?

[Romy]

Pretty soon we'll need to have schools where they teach people to cook....

I realize this is (probably?) a facetious reference to culinary school, but I'm all in favor of making Home Economics mandatory at the Jr. High and High School levels. I'm not particularly skilled or knowledgeable in the kitchen compared to most people here but the general public has a way of surprising me by finding ingenious new ways of screwing things up trying to cook.

Not trying to be some kind of elitist foodie, just asking that people be taught how to safely prepare and handle food ferchrissakes.

Sorry to reach so far back to this comment, but I've been recalling my junior high home ec classes. Our teacher was not everyone's favorite, but learning the basics of cooking was invaluable, and even the most jaded of us couldn't help but feel a little pride when we sat down at our (meticulously set) communal table and enjoyed our soup, roasted potatoes, cake, what-have-you... We got tested on everything from measuring, cooking, setting a table, cleaning, food safety, and table manners-- oh, and sewing.

And this was in NJ in the 90s. I wonder if my school is still offering the class? I hope so. I had other access to cooks in my family, but for some kids, I'm sure this was the only real cooking the got to do in their young lives.

[Romy]

In terms of predicting the coming apocalypse, the whole "no stars" section of this website, Heat Eat Review, is a gem. But please, watch the video review of the Kids Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks meal here.

[Chris Amirault]

The Illinois Restaurant Association wants to confine food trucks to "food deserts."

“If these things really work by social media, they could just go to food deserts. There are plenty of neighborhoods in the city that have a shortage of restaurants and grocery stores or late-night places to eat,” said the association’s president, Sheila O’Grady, Mayor Daley’s longest-serving chief of staff.