Over-Ordering at Restaurants

[Chris Amirault]

Does this sound familiar?

You go out to a restaurant with your partner or friend. You are handed the menu, and many things look very nice. There are, say, three appetizers that really cry out for you to try, and a couple of entrees that demand to be ordered.

Of course, you assume that your dining companion is a flexible person and will agree to share everything... and since you're sharing everything, you might as well grab a bowl of that soup to see what it's like (it's only $5 after all). Wouldn't want to leave without trying that, would you? And who knows when you'll be back there.

The server arrives, you confirm your order with your companion... and just at the tail end of the order, you sneak one more thing into the order -- "Oh, and why don't you bring one of those great garlic and honey naans, too, just to munch on?" Because it may be a while before that first app comes out, and, after all, that naan is to die for.

Cut to mid-meal. The table is covered with food, other folks are staring at you, wondering where you're going to put all of that food -- enough food, you have to admit, for a famished four-top, with enough to bring home to granny in a doggy-bag.

Ever since I was a little kid, my mother has told me that my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I have argued against this for decades, but I'm ready to admit: I'm Chris A., and I over-order.

I don't do it to stuff myself full of food, really. Rather, I do it to be sure that, at any given meal, I can try as many things as possible. In so doing, if I happen to stuff myself full of food, well, that's the price I must nobly pay.

And you? Do you do it? What's your excuse??

[Gifted Gourmet]

The answer for me is#1 tapas ... my dining companions know that I am a diehard "sampler" and want to try a little of everything .. in this way, I can accomplish my objectives and be satisfied.

and there is #2: tasting menus ... that has been the other answer to my overindulging in a taste of everything as well!

[Chris Amirault]

The answer for me is tapas ... my dining companions know that I am a diehard "sampler" and want to try a little of everything .. in this way, I can accomplish my objectives and be satisfied.

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"Accomplish your objectives," huh, Melissa? And what exactly would those be? Hmmmm?

[Gifted Gourmet]

"Accomplish your objectives," huh, Melissa? And what exactly would those be? Hmmmm?

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Absolutely! Have to try everything to see how it is made by someone other than myself ... it allows me to indulge my whims and fancies ...

No longer the "volume eater" I was in my youth, this seems to fulfill the same purposes ... no more "all you can eat for ___$" ...

[kitchenmage]

I've been known to want it all, and order a bit of it, but my favorite "ordering too much" story comes from an unexpected place: a small, family-owned, Thai place tucked into a strip mall between the dry cleaner and Radio Shack.

We had just finished moving and five of us went over to grab a late dinner. Everyone ordered one item, then we ordered a few things to share as starters, then we added a couple of things because we knew we weren't going to want to cook in the next few days. By the time we were at about 9-10 items, the waitress was saying, "No! No more! Too much food!" and backing away from the table. (Maybe we looked so hungry she thought we might have her as an appetizer, I dunno) I imagine she went back to the kitchen to talk about those crazy Americans who wanted everything on the menu.

In our defense, we were starving, and we knew we were taking a bunch home. And we did. We ate leftovers for most of a week. Next time we went to that place--and it became one of our local favorites--we were careful to order a more normal amount of food. I doubt it helped our reputation much, but we tried.

To this day, that now-defunct Thai place remains the only establishment that has ever cut me off.

[markk]

And you? Do you do it? What's your excuse??

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I do the exact same thing, and for the exact same reasons.

I especially do it when ordering delivery from a new place, and sneak in the reason of covering our bases in case some of the dishes aren't any good.

I've been known to look up in mid-meal (dinner for 2) at a table covered with enough food to cater a wedding, and utter the phrase "Um, I think I ordered too much."

When I order delivery for two (usually a minimum of 12 things, any way you slice it) I always ask them about the quantity of food I'm getting, and they usually ask "how many people are you feeding?" and to cover myself, I usually answer that we're 4, and sometimes 5. So I always figure that we're okay when they answer "Oh, you got plenty of food for 5 people".

[fifi]

I love tapas for the same reason. I really try to go to interesting places with friends who are into "sharing." We even discuss what we order with that in mind. Adding to the problem is, I am a light eater, especially in the evening. I know that and enjoy what I do eat, gleefully wagging my doggie bag back home. The problem part comes in when the server, and sometimes the chef good lord, comes out and wants to know if something is wrong. So I guess you could say that I over order when I just order an entre.

[Yuki]

I have a even worse habit because I would order a lot but would take one or two bites from each dish. Since my family go out to mostly Asian restaurant so it is not that big of a problem since everyone is going to share the food anyways. But my parents dislike it when I get hungry at 12 and would eat only a small bowl of fried noodle and a couple bite of cold dishes, then at 2, I would declare that I am hungry again. Umm... I do not really have an excuse but people that know me would know that I usually eat lots of small meal. They know that when I say that I am "hungry", I am not to be trusted. I have no problem with eating left over so I would just bring everything home for breakfast.

[mizducky]

I have a even worse habit because I would order a lot but would take one or two bites from each dish.  Since my family go out to mostly Asian restaurant so it is not that big of a problem since everyone is going to share the food anyways. But my parents dislike it when I get hungry at 12 and would eat only a small bowl of fried noodle and a couple bite of cold dishes, then at 2, I would declare that I am hungry again. Umm... I do not really have an excuse but people that know me would know that I usually eat lots of small meal. They know that when I say that I am "hungry", I am not to be trusted.   I have no problem with eating left over so I would just bring everything home for breakfast.

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Actually, I've seen a number of health pundits suggest that several small snacks throughout the day is better for you than the two or three large meals common in so much of the world today, in that the "grazing" approach makes it easier to control one's appetite and/or lose weight. So maybe you're actually ahead of the curve here.

For me, one of the great pluses in going out for Asian food (preferably with a bunch of friends) is sharing a bunch of dishes so that I can get tastes of everything. Absent a bunch of friends to do this with, I'm left to the uncertain culinary skills of various local buffet restaurants. I seldom have the nerve to deliberately over-order at a sit-down restaurant, mainly out of self-consciousness--I am rather heavy-set, and I just can't quite chase from my mind the perhaps delusional thought that "everyone" in the joint is watching the fat grrl order way too much food.

[Gifted Gourmet]

I seldom have the nerve to deliberately over-order at a sit-down restaurant, mainly out of self-consciousness--I am rather heavy-set, and I just can't quite chase from my mind the perhaps delusional thought that "everyone" in the joint is watching the fat grrl order way too much food.

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Dear Ducky,

Since when does it matter what anyone other than you think about what you are ordering and eating? It is your life and no one's opinion of that life is meaningful save your own. Order what you want and enjoy yourself ... why not? You are paying the tab ... life is short .. enjoy yourself and forget anyone else's opinion (either verbalized or silent).

When I learned this very important lesson in life: "you can not possibly control anyone else's opinion", I was incredibly freer! (I do listen to my doctor's opinion but that is about it!)

[Chris Amirault]

I especially do it when ordering delivery from a new place, and sneak in the reason of covering our bases in case some of the dishes aren't any good.

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Oh, yes. Exactly. Genius. After all, what if those ants climbing the tree are feeble, tasteless ants? Or if General Chow is having a bad day? Best to have at least one or two backups for each dish.

Excellent: yet another reason that over-ordering is in fact the sane, rational thing to do.

Actually, I've seen a number of health pundits suggest that several small snacks throughout the day is better for you than the two or three large meals common in so much of the world today, in that the "grazing" approach makes it easier to control one's appetite and/or lose weight.

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This is why we all need in-house dim sum kitchens.

[Yuki]

For me, one of the great pluses in going out for Asian food (preferably with a bunch of friends) is sharing a bunch of dishes so that I can get tastes of everything. Absent a bunch of friends to do this with, I'm left to the uncertain culinary skills of various local buffet restaurants. I seldom have the nerve to deliberately over-order at a sit-down restaurant, mainly out of self-consciousness--I am rather heavy-set, and I just can't quite chase from my mind the perhaps delusional thought that "everyone" in the joint is watching the fat grrl order way too much food.

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I like the modern Asian restaurant that is popping up everywhere in Hong Kong. They tend to offer traditional and creative Asian dishes but the portion is meant for 2-3 people. Since there are many young adult and families without kids eating out now, those restaurants offer the chance for their customers to taste a variety of dishes without over ordering. I wish that they could do that here so I don't have to order salt and pepper squid that is meant for 6-8 people by myself... not that deep fried food is a bad thing but it just take a while for me to finish it.

[Jason Perlow]

-Never- happens when the Perlows and friends go out to dinner. -Never!-

Did I say it never happens? Right.

[NulloModo]

Mizducky -

I completely understand where you are coming from. One of the biggest motivations for me to lose weight was that I was just embarassed every time I ate out. I felt bad even ordering an appetizer and and entree, just imagining the stares and comments from servers/tables next to mine/etc.

As for over-ordering, I usually don't tend to, but that is mainly because I look too much at prices at restaurants. My financial situation is somewhat strained, so if I end up spending more than $20 for a meal I can't enjoy it because I am worrying about how much I spent on it the whole time. Then again, when I am at a place that is pretty cheap overall, like my favorite middle-eastern place in town, I Am known to order a variety of stuff... I also love places where everything is ala carte, no entrees come with set sides, etc, it give me free reign to try a variety of stuff and fully tailor my meal to what I want.

[markk]

I especially do it when ordering delivery from a new place, and sneak in the reason of covering our bases in case some of the dishes aren't any good.

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Oh, yes. Exactly. Genius. After all, what if those ants climbing the tree are feeble, tasteless ants? Or if General Chow is having a bad day? Best to have at least one or two backups for each dish.

Excellent: yet another reason that over-ordering is in fact the sane, rational thing to do.

Well, it's worse than you realize. I recently had a friend/business associate over for dinner after a long (long) day's work, and so I sent out for Chinese food, and we tried a new place, because I don't actually have anyplace to order from that's decent (and there was no possibility of cooking that night). So, whereas for 2 people I'd order 12 dishes, we were three, and I didn't want anybody to go hungry, so let us just say that I ordered, well, a lot of food! My guest was just horrified, and scandalized by the amount of food that arrived, and carried on and screamed and ranted and raved. Of course, it took two delivery people to bring all the bags, and they covered the entire dining room table when unpacked.

The upshot was that nothing was edible. One dish was worse than the next. By picking a bite of this, a bite of that, we all managed not to go hungry, but the food was just horrible, and she did concede that I had done the right thing.

Of course, even when I know the food is going to be okay, I order way too much. But then it's for "variety", and not for "safety".

What a great topic you started!

[touaregsand]

I'm a pathological over orderer. For many of the reasons mentioened upthread so I won't repeat. I always cook too much food when we have guests. We invited three friends over for couscous. They each ate 3-5 huge plates of the stuff (they're my husband soccer friends and at the semi-pro athlete level). We still had about half leftover. So basically I made enough food for about 25-30 normal appetites.

[Makan King]

Er, you mean it is not normal to over-order??

My friends and I use the exact same expression ourselves - eyes bigger than stomach. We usually tend to overdo it, so much so that we also choose tables that can seat more than our number in order to accommodate all the food we are going to order. Tthis is usually in Asian restaurants, such as Thai or Chinese restaurants). But even in bistros and Western-style restaurants, we always order appetizers and sides to share, plus an entree each and of course, dessert!

Each time I return to Singapore, I head straight to the hawker centres, and completely blanket the table - fried carrot cake, chicken rice, hokkien prawn noodles, satay, BBQ stingray with sambal, laksa, popiah etc. Fortunately, I do share this bounty with family/friends. We barely have space to set down our sugar-cane juice!

[DTBarton]

This happens to me in two ways:

1. In a new place where I want to try several things.

2. In a place I like where I want to try something different, or a special, but there's these other things they have that I really like so just bring me one of those, and one of those also, and I can't come in here without an order of that...................

[Fat Guy]

I'm a pathological over-order. I over-ordered on Saturday. I over-ordered on Sunday. I'll probably over-order today.

I don't know how it happens. It really is a sickness. I've had terrible allergies from all the pollen in the air the past couple of days, so, for example, last night I decided I'd order some wonton soup from my local mediocre Chinese restaurant, Chinatown East. A quart of the stuff costs $3.50. So, you ask, how is it that half an hour later I wound up with $20+ worth of food? Well, first I thought I better order two quarts. You never know, I could RUN OUT OF FOOD in the middle of Manhattan, surrounded by twenty thousand restaurants and more gourmet stores per capita than they have in heaven. Also, there's the problem that I might not HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT, even though I have enough food in my kitchen to survive multiple apocalypses. So I ordered some spare ribs, some fried dumplings, and then there's that coupon for free cold noodles, oh and maybe an egg roll . . . .

There was actually this one time when I was over-ordering from Empire Szechuan and Mary, who takes the phone orders and has known me since I was maybe 10 years old, said, "Why are you ordering so much?" and I said "So I can have some tomorrow" and she said "But I can deliver fresh moo-shu every day." And still I persisted in over-ordering. In fact I resented her attempt to help me.

I'm sure I've told the story of the time, when I was practicing big-firm litigation, that two of my paralegals and I knew we were looking at a solid week of all-nighters or at least extremely late nights preparing findings of fact and conclusions of law for one of these trial-of-the-century cases. The firm had accounts with a number of restaurants, and if you worked late you could bill dinner, so we decided, after counting the options, that if we ordered something like three times as much food as we could eat each night, we could in the space of a week sample every item on the menu at the Carnegie Deli.

Every night, the food would come -- Carnegie delivers until 4am -- and every night we'd eat maybe a third of it and give the rest to the overnight word processing staff. The food would get delivered, usually, in two cartons -- like the size you'd use to archive legal size file folders. About half of one box would always be filled with plates, forks, napkins and condiments. Carnegie was operating under the assumption that we had ordered food for a dozen people.

After a few nights of this, the woman who took the orders finally asked me, "How many people is this for?" When I told her it was for three people, she said, "Mr. Shaw, if you don't mind my saying, yous guys is pigs!"

I could go on. I won't. It's too painful. Now, what's for lunch?

[shiv]

This drives my husband crazy. It's not that I want a huge volume of food - I would happily halve the individual portion sizes, in fact - but I love variety, usually in the form of side dishes. A few of the places that we're regulars at know this and will give me small portions of a few different sides.

My boss is a chronic over-orderer of the absolute highest magnitude. We'll all order our meals and then he'll order several extra sides, especially if he knows someone at the table has a particular fondness for something. Then, if he doesn't think we've ordered an appropriate assortment of appetizers, he'll fill in the gaps as he sees fit, always ordering enough food for a party at least twice our size. And then comes dessert. We usually don't even get to order our own specific desserts - he'll just order 5 of this, 4 of that, 2 of these, a plate of these, etc. for everyone to split.

On the one hand, it's gluttonous and terribly, terribly wasteful. On the other hand, I get to sample so many different things that it's hard to complain. And he extends the same principle to alcohol, so by the end of the meal, it's hard to really care about much of anything! :)

[kozysnack]

table for one: salad, soup, ap, 2nd ap, felt a bit silly asking for the 3rd and 4th LOL. It's happy hour and its all half off. order of fish then needed some red meat. it went on wanted the pasta and then they came by with a cart of fresh baked pies, I was about to say no but the Chef came out and said he wanted me to try a small bit of each. HJe must have thought I was a food writer. I realy did almost asked the couple next to me if I could share the chocolate cake with them! Icecream anyone?

[CharityCase]

Like NulloModo I am too budget-conscious to over-order except the odd time in group settings, but this does bring a great story to mind.

While in Toronto several months ago, a group of four of us decided to have Dim Sum together. While I'd dined with these friends before we had not, as yet, been to a Dim Sum place together.

At this particular location items were ordered checklist-style and not a la carte based on the small size and high traffic in the place. My dear friend Jenn, bless her heart, thought that the item description also implied one item per serving, so since there were four of us it made sense to write "4" next to the Char Siu Bao, and hey since we all like shrimp let's get "6" shrimp siu mai right? I definitely knew better and I tried to alert our companions to the sheer quantity and trouble we were about to get into but they weren't convinced.

It's hard to describe what goes on in your head when your tackling 4 x 3 pork buns, or 4 x 3 turnip cakes, or 4 steamers of pork ribs amongst four people. Even harder is getting to apoint in this meal where you think the constant flow of steamers to the table has ceased, only then to see that mischievous grin on the server's face as she plops down 12 shrimp, 12 pork and 12 vegetable dumplings and says something in Cantonese to the other servers, probably akin to "look at these four tub o'lards!".

[touaregsand]

I went to local Indian place for the $3.99 lunch special last week. I end up ordering the $5.99 lunch special instead that includes 3 more things, 2 of which I don't especially care for. The $5.99 special has enough food for me to enjoy in two parts as a meal with some leftover to snack on later. I see a delicious plate of dhosa going out. So I order the biggest one on the menu, plus aloo paratha, a chili pakora and a medium sized order of chole, plus a few other dishes the names of which I cannot remember at the moment. Basically it's enough starch for a month.

The tab comes out to $26.85 It takes me about 4 days to finish it off. I ate leftovers when I could have had it fresh every day. The place is on the way to my daughter's school so it's not even like I would have to make a special drive. Perhaps I need help, maybe some friends of mine will stage an intervention.

BUT, but, but... I cannot stand to run out of food or not have enough to eat. What's worse than finishing all the food on your plate and thinking that just a few more bites of something would really make it satisfying? But it's too late to order another dish and you know by the time it comes out the momentum of the meal is lost and you are in fact full enough but not satisfied.

My husband on the other cannot stand to waste food...

[Tess]

I always want an appetizer or two and a main course, and probably dessert. Now that I'm on Weight Watchers I can't afford to eat even half that much food on a regular basis. I try to pick restaurants where I can have half of the main course boxed to go. (My boyfriend hates doing that-- he thinks it's a brutta figura-- but will let me as long as it's one of the little local places where we are regulars.)

Sushi is a problem with my group. You can't really bring it home. Occasionally one person will take the order form and cross off half the items, and it's still too much. A couple of the guys can pretty much eat all the sushi that's put before them (and so could I, pre-diet), but we do get remarks from the kitchen.

[Chris Amirault]

I always cook too much food when we have guests. We invited three friends over for couscous. They each ate 3-5 huge plates of the stuff (they're my husband soccer friends and at the semi-pro athlete level). We still had about half leftover. So basically I made enough food for about 25-30 normal appetites. 

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Actually, this is considered very good manners for a host in Saudi Arabia!