Handling the chronically tardy guest ...

[Laughing Goddess]

ROFL!!

I have a co-worker like that right now -- she comes in through the back door, noisily, so everyone will notice when she's on time. She comes in through the front door, quietly, so 'only' us secretaries will notice when she's late.

Doesn't really work -- everyone's looking out for her now.

[jamiemaw]

I thought by giving them a nice desk clock as a engagement present when they got married about five years ago was a good message to send, but I guess it hasn't helped.

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Hmmm. Seems--on this thread at least--time doesn’t heal all wounds after all. Clearly, on their next anniversary you'd better give them the matching neck chain . . .

So, will it be the carrot or the stick for those whose sole daily uptake of oxygen lies in being late?

The pointy end of the stick, of course.

Especially if you plan your next dinner party along the lines of The Amazing Race, Part 8. Prize for the last place couple? Well, they automatically miss the vintage Sauternes and foie en croute, replaced by curling vegetable crudités: carrot as stick! Pair instead with that weak-kneed Chablis left over from your wife’s book club. The one that’s been keeping the fridge light company since last July—with the Saran wrap plug.

Other punitive measures? Never, ever appease their guilty, if passive-aggressive, consciences—especially if they bring something expensive or rare. Do not open the wine they waited an hour to show off to the dearly assembled. Do not become their hostage. No, whisk it away, still in its poncy bag, and serve it the next time you go boating, when, of course, they’re still on the dock. Then thank them, vociferously, with a little haiku on your best notepaper come Monday—“loved the Petrus, sure missed you.”

If they’re really late to the party, they get the thin end of the roast. The part well past rare. But there are even better punishments for the chronically tardy. Our favourite: Very low toilet paper reserves. Or, for recidivists, we arrange to sit them beside our corporate auditor, a man who could bore for Canada despite his self-professed love for balsa wood modeling.

Edited March 29, 2005 by jamiemaw (log)

[Osnav]

Mea culpa, mea culpa.

Well now that I've outed myself, I suppose my personal record was four hours.

But that was a long, long time ago.  Needless to say, my boyfriend (at the time) and I are no longer talking.  (We broke up due to other reasons but being late to my birthday dinner no less was the straw that broke the camel's back.)

Soba

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Soba

I don't get it. You can read a calendar (52 days left before Star Wars..." but you can't read a watch and know how many hours & minutes left before your dinner reservation?

[racheld]

I thought by giving them a nice desk clock as a engagement present when they got married about five years ago was a good message to send, but I guess it hasn't helped.

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Hmmm. Seems--on this thread at least--time doesn’t heal all wounds after all. Clearly, on their next anniversary you'd better give them the matching neck chain . . .

So, will it be the carrot or the stick for those whose sole daily uptake of oxygen lies in being late?

The pointy end of the stick, of course.

Especially if you plan your next dinner party along the lines of The Amazing Race, Part 8. Prize for the last place couple? Well, they automatically miss the vintage Sauternes and foie en croute, replaced by curling vegetable crudités: carrot as stick! Pair instead with that weak-kneed Chablis left over from your wife’s book club. The one that’s been keeping the fridge light company since last July—with the Saran wrap plug.

Other punitive measures? Never, ever appease their guilty, if passive-aggressive, consciences—especially if they bring something expensive or rare. Do not open the wine they waited an hour to show off to the dearly assembled. Do not become their hostage. No, whisk it away, still in its poncy bag, and serve it the next time you go boating, when, of course, they’re still on the dock. Then thank them, vociferously, with a little haiku on your best notepaper come Monday—“loved the Petrus, sure missed you.”

If they’re really late to the party, they get the thin end of the roast. The part well past rare. But there are even better punishments for the chronically tardy. Our favourite: Very low toilet paper reserves. Or, for recidivists, we arrange to sit them beside our corporate auditor, a man who could bore for Canada despite his self-professed love for balsa wood modeling.

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I WANNA SUBSCRIPTION to the magazine!!!! Just for your wit and wisdom. Instructions, please.

rachel

[lamb]

As mine is the largest home in my husband's large Italian family, we are usually the designated hosts for holiday meals. I really don't mind since it's fun for everyone to get together and most help out. What I do mind is brother-in-law and sister-in-law along with 3 children who live no more than 20 minutes away are usually arriving as we are sitting down to dinner (about 2-3 hours past when they said they were going to arrive). This past Easter we were joking about what time everyone thought they were going to arrive, when my son took out a pad and started writing down the times that everyone said. We decided to make a pool out of it, with the closest one to their actual arrival time pocketing the winnings (came to $30). When they arrived after we were seated for dinner, we whipped out the list and grandly announced the winner (my niece).

Late arrivers ended up leaving because we insulted them "beyond words".

Never mind the fact that they have done this do us for years; we insulted them.

You can pick your friends, but not your family.

edited for spelling

Edited March 30, 2005 by lamb (log)

[emmapeel]

What I do mind is brother-in-law and sister-in-law along with 3 children who live no more than 20 minutes away are usually arriving as we are sitting down to dinner (about 2-3 hours past when they said they were going to arrive)...Never mind the fact that they have done this do us for years; we insulted them. 

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It makes me wonder if their "late arrivals" are planned. I can hear the conversations between them, "oh, they won't get started till x:xx time so we have a few hours." My family is the same. Pehaps that's why they were so insulted, maybe a little guilt?

[lamb]

What I do mind is brother-in-law and sister-in-law along with 3 children who live no more than 20 minutes away are usually arriving as we are sitting down to dinner (about 2-3 hours past when they said they were going to arrive)...Never mind the fact that they have done this do us for years; we insulted them. 

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It makes me wonder if their "late arrivals" are planned. I can hear the conversations between them, "oh, they won't get started till x:xx time so we have a few hours." My family is the same. Pehaps that's why they were so insulted, maybe a little guilt?

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While that can be true, part of the family fun is that we are all together and helping out before dinner. Cousins get together, and far-flung in-laws get to catch-up with one another. Truth be said, we are a pretty friendly group, and that's part of the reason why we can't understand why the offending party won't join us before dinner. I guess that won't be a problem going forward, since they probably won't be joining us for dinner either!

Too bad, the arrival time pool was a lot of fun.

[birder53]

As mine is the largest home in my husband's large Italian family, we are usually the designated hosts for holiday meals.  I really don't mind since it's fun for everyone to get together and most help out.  What I do mind is brother-in-law and sister-in-law along with 3 children who live no more than 20 minutes away are usually arriving as we are sitting down to dinner (about 2-3 hours past when they said they were going to arrive).  This past Easter we were joking about what time everyone thought they were going to arrive, when my son took out a pad and started writing down the times that everyone said.  We decided to make a pool out of it, with the closest one to their actual arrival time pocketing the winnings (came to $30).  When they arrived after we were seated for dinner, we whipped out the list and grandly announced the winner (my niece).

Late arrivers ended up leaving because we insulted them "beyond words". 

Never mind the fact that they have done this do us for years; we insulted them. 

You can pick your friends, but not your family.

edited for spelling 

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That is hysterical! We never let my brother bring anything to a meal besides dessert because of his tardiness. This irks him becuase he loves to cook and is quite good at it. He has improved lately and actually seemed a bit miffed when everyone commented on his timeliness. He was the first arrival at a recent family party and was early to boot!

Your in-laws must really live in their own little world to first off be so very late and then to be insulted by the "game" everyone played at their expense. Just goes to show you - it takes all kinds!

[SWISS_CHEF]

How do you deal with the chronically late dinner guest?

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I would much rather that a dinner guest show up late than not say thank you.

[*Deborah*]

Actually, I once had a dinner guest show up 24 hours late.

He bought me an excellent dinner in recompense.

[Bacchusrogue]

I had to think about this and have to agree with those that state it shows a 'you are an inferior' attitude. I and my wife strive to be punctual and always try to work out how long it will take to be somewhere and everything. We freak among the two of us if we get caught in traffi and will be 5 min late (unless we know its a casual time).

I wouldnt put up with people like that anymore. Get your table, eat and leave

[winesonoma]

I once knew a man who was late getting out of Prison cause he needed to shower and got up late. I kid you not, true story.