Britain. Baked Beans.
Pay attention!
No. 1. Only Heinz Baked Beans from a can are permitted. Violations of this law are dealt with strictly. You will be laughed at by your family, mocked in the streets and be called rude names! It should be pointed out and I'm about to do so, that British Baked Beanz (as we like to spell them - Heinz Meanz Beanz) are different from US baked beans. They are somewhat sweeter and come in day-glo tomato sauce.
No. 2. Only white bread is permitted. Preferably pre-sliced and plastic-wrapped Chorleywood process bread. Artisan bread is a big no-no. Your social standing and credibility will be ruined forever. Sourdough will get you deported!
No. 3. The toast may be toasted to your preference, so long as that is medium brown.
No. 4. The toasted bread should be lathered with butter or, if you want to really fit in, margarine. Healthy spreads are strongly discouraged. Cutting the toast into triangles attracts the death penalty!
No. 5. The beans should be heated through, but never allowed to reach 100℃ which is the boiling point of water in civilised countries.
No. 6. The beans should be liberally spread over the hot toast, then salt and pepper added even more liberally. Then add some more pepper. Always black pepper.
No. 7. Excuses such as "I can't buy British beans here" are not accepted. If I can buy them in China, you can buy them!
No. 8. Eat and repeat and smile!
