Several thoughts. re Waldorf salad, it does seem to be traditional for some people. Decades ago, I was out of town when Husband called to say that we'd been invited to Tdinner in the country and asked to bring Waldorf salad. Saint and engineer that he is, but no cook, he said that he'd pulled out Joy of Cooking, ascertained and bought the ingredients, all ready for me to put together after sliding into home base later that day. So Waldorf is definitely part of some people's Thanksgiving meal.
Regarding the travesty to your expected bird and remains, rather than throw an ax into a family gathering that is at best fraught with emotional chaos, I'd just look for turkey sales at your neighborhood supers, pick up the smallest birds you can, like a 13 pounder, and roast one for your nuclear family, resulting in gravy, stuffing, and carcass.
This meal, so uniting is also so dividing. I need stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. All else is fall decor IMHO.
