I was in the supermarket this morning and spotted some saintly women. Not your actual angels, nuns or the like, but a cut above the average. Most of the trouble in my long, sad life can be attributed to my addiction to not-so-saintly women and my attempts to convince the truly saintly women I’ve known to lower their standards, usually unsuccessfully. So, it comes to me as no surprise to have become totally addicted to these beauties.
I can buy them in shiny presentation packs prepared in remote factories. These are not what you want. They are usually shrivelled, over made-up, dusted with sweeteners and preservatives and past their prime, a bit like...no. I won't get personal!
What I need are fresh, newly plucked from the vine saintly women, carefully prepared and sold loose. Loose saintly women. Oh yes!
You are probably wondering what the hell I am on about. Or what I’m on.
圣女果 - shèng nǚ guǒ, saintly women fruit are quite simply cherry tomatoes. I love to roast them or fry them until they implode or explode. (Loose, exploding saintly women! Hose me down, Scotty!)
They are always sold on the fruit shelves or in the fruit shops. They are not usually thought of as a vegetable here but as fruit. (Yes, I know all tomatoes are technically fruit, thank you.)
We also get dried saintly women. Obviously not as immediately alluring as the fresh ladies, but they are also totally wonderful and highly addictive. A bit like sun-dried tomatoes, or sun-dried actresses, but without the oil in which they are often presented. These are just the tomatoes, intended to be eaten as a snack.
The drying process is only partial and intensifies their allure and flavour. They retain a rich juiciness.
Or so they tell me.