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Dish Names That Make You Run in the Opposite Direction

Chris Amirault

By Chris Amirault
in Food Traditions & Culture

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Dakki

Dakki

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Turducken.

C'mon!

This is my skillet. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My skillet is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it, as I must master my life. Without me my skillet is useless. Without my skillet, I am useless. I must season my skillet well. I will. Before God I swear this creed. My skillet and myself are the makers of my meal. We are the masters of our kitchen. So be it, until there are no ingredients, but dinner. Amen.

Mjx

Mjx

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I'm afraid that I prefer a fairly flat-footed, descriptive approach to naming dishes (with exceptions made for dishes commemorating someone, e.g. Caruso), so virtually anything affected gets my goat. I've even bailed on eating at places that ridiculously misappropriated certain terminology (sorry, a 'pizza amuse bouche' is... not amusing. Especially when it is a doughy knot the size of my fist).

I particularly loathe the terminology used at Starbucks ('venti'? 'latte'?! Just say 'twenty' and 'milk', and have done with!), and would avoid the chain even if I liked their offerings.

Slightly unrelated: If a restaurant insists on using the nomenclature of a language spoken by none of the staff, they should commit to it to the extent of making certain they've nailed the spelling and usage... 'paninis' and 'beef borgonion' just do not inspire confidence. And also make me run as fast as possible in the other direction.

Michaela, aka "Mjx"
Manager, eG Forums
mscioscia@egstaff.org

thirtyoneknots

thirtyoneknots

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X Y Ways, where X is an ingredient and Y is a number between two and infinity, usually three.

Interesting. Is it the name or the concept you are opposed to? If the name, what alternative system to describe this would you propose?

Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

Chris Amirault

Chris Amirault

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

X Y Ways, where X is an ingredient and Y is a number between two and infinity, usually three.

Interesting. Is it the name or the concept you are opposed to? If the name, what alternative system to describe this would you propose?

The name. It's a cliché at this point, implying a dated reference to Thomas Keller, and yet, when I see it on the menu, it's not because I'm at French Laundry. It's the nomenclature version of horizontal plating.

As for another name, I'd suggest X.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

thirtyoneknots

thirtyoneknots

Posted
Posted (edited)

X Y Ways, where X is an ingredient and Y is a number between two and infinity, usually three.

Interesting. Is it the name or the concept you are opposed to? If the name, what alternative system to describe this would you propose?

The name. It's a cliché at this point, implying a dated reference to Thomas Keller, and yet, when I see it on the menu, it's not because I'm at French Laundry. It's the nomenclature version of horizontal plating.

As for another name, I'd suggest X.

A menu listing simply "Duck" isn't terribly informative to a diner, though. To be a useful a menu should convey, ideally in a relatively concise way, both the item being prepared and the method(s) of preparing it, if the method is not intrinsic to the dish. "Duck Two Ways" at least hints that a variety of preparations are being employed. It would seem to me that if the rather straightforward name of the concept is cliche or dated then the concept itself must be as well--a somewhat different issue.

I'm not trying to nitpick the fun out of the topic (believe it or not :raz:) but while "oven-fried chicken" would make me run away from a misguided and inferior preparation method, "Duck (or whatever) Two Ways" would provide a subtle mix of information and intrigue, if the menu were well-written. Hardly something to run away from I'd think.

Edited by thirtyoneknots (log)

Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

Chris Amirault

Chris Amirault

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

We'll have to agree to disagree. I think that you can say "duck breast, confit, and cracklings" without saying "three ways." And if you say "three ways," someone's gotta explain what the three ways are, making the name redundant.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

Mano

Mano

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Posted

I like X Y ways. Just do it well and describe it without too much hoo-ha.

“Watermelon - it’s a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.”

Italian tenor Enrico Caruso (1873-1921)

IndyRob

IndyRob

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Many won't agree, but for me, Pickeled anything would send me scurrying.

I sort of agree with the X, Y ways, in the sense that it sounds more like a demonstration than a meal/dish.

Mano

Mano

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Why is "Chicken One Way" absurd but "Chicken Three Ways" interesting?

You're right that there has to be some description.

But there are exceptions:

Wife: "Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex three ways."

Husband: "I'm at the front door now!"

versus:

"Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex one way."

Husband: "I'm at the front door now!"

Okay, bad example.

Husband: "Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex three ways."

Wife: "I'm leaving now!"

versus:

"Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex one way."

"Did you pick up the dry cleaning like I asked?"

“Watermelon - it’s a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face.”

Italian tenor Enrico Caruso (1873-1921)

thirtyoneknots

thirtyoneknots

Posted
Posted

Why is "Chicken One Way" absurd but "Chicken Three Ways" interesting?

For the same reason that it's weird if the menu says "Red-wine Braised Chicken with Bacon, Mushrooms, and Pearl Onions" instead of "Coq au Vin". Most menus have subheadings that allow for more complete descriptions, which is the typical place to elaborate on what Coq au Vin is to the uninitiated, or what the three ways of duck cooking are to the curious. The name of the dish itself shouldn't test the diner's attention span, though.

Agreeing to disagree is ok, too :)

Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

thirtyoneknots

thirtyoneknots

Posted
Posted

Why is "Chicken One Way" absurd but "Chicken Three Ways" interesting?

You're right that there has to be some description.

But there are exceptions:

Wife: "Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex three ways."

Husband: "I'm at the front door now!"

versus:

"Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex one way."

Husband: "I'm at the front door now!"

Okay, bad example.

Husband: "Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex three ways."

Wife: "I'm leaving now!"

versus:

"Honey, when you get home we're going to have sex one way."

"Did you pick up the dry cleaning like I asked?"

Ok this is a far better line of reasoning.

Andy Arrington

Journeyman Drinksmith

Twitter--@LoneStarBarman

Chris Amirault

Chris Amirault

Posted
  • Topic Starter
Posted

Catherine, you're right: vertical is what I meant.

Andy's got me trying to think horizontally about these damned names... :wink:

OK, here's another: anything with the word "carob" in it.

Chris Amirault

eG Ethics Signatory

Sir Luscious got gator belts and patty melts

Carlovski

Carlovski

Posted
Posted

Deconstructed normally sets alarm bells ringing. Or even worse 'reimagined' - yes, I have seen that on a menu...

I love animals.

They are delicious.

Jenni

Jenni

Posted
Posted

Many won't agree, but for me, Pickeled anything would send me scurrying.

OK, here's another: anything with the word "carob" in it.

Ok, so are these two more because you don't like such dishes, or do you find something wrong with the name? I am intrigued...

My Blog: Rice, Spice and Everything Nice

rarerollingobject

rarerollingobject

Posted
Posted

I have an aversion to any mention of a 'gastrique' in a dish's menu name. I KNOW what a gastrique is, I know I'll generally like the taste of it if I do order it, but it's too close to 'gastric' for me to not associate it with stomach sickness. Charming, huh?

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