The wine list is usually offered to my husband, who immediately hands it to me, usually in the waiter's or sommelier's presence. If we order white, my husband will taste, if we order red, I will do the tasting. However, we do have to actually state that, even if I order the wine, in most cases. Otherwise, the inclination seems to be to ask my husband to taste regardless. I have seen waiters wait until I've approved the wine, pour a taste for my husband and wait for his approval. This would be fine, if it worked the other way. When my husband tastes first and approves the wine, my glass is immediately filled.