Grub

/History Nerd Mode On Amundsen's party didn't eat their dogs, they used them as fodder for their other dogs. Not that feeding dog meat to dogs (let alone eating dog meat themselves) would be any more likely for a Norwegian to do, than an Englishman. Amundsen learned a lot of survival skills from Canadian Inuits. Which is why he relied on dogs for the entire journey, unlike Scott, who the last bit on foot. Scott incidentally relied mostly on ponies and tractors (who all died or broke down, respectively) as well as dogs. /History Nerd Mode Off Sorry. Never eaten horse, but wouldn't mind trying it. Only controversial meat I remember eating, is whale. The anti-whaling movement is a good, practical example of what happens to people who are against eating horses... It started out as a logical, rational argument that some species of whales were about to go extinct, and could harm the balance of the eco system. Then it eventually changed into an emotional (and increasingly irrational and illogical) argument that whales shouldn't be killed or harmed or upset in any way whatsoever, ever (because they are cool, cute, intelligent, sing songs or live in herds or were featured in a Disney movie). I would eat horse, but not dog or cat. That's not very logical. You might argue that I've spent lots of time around dogs and cats, and little with horses -- but I've spent even less time with bats, and I wouldn't eat those. Our preferences are irrational, and mostly due to cultural influences.

Norwegians certainly do eat lutefisk, but it's a mixed bag -- people either love or hate it. I don't know if the split is 50-50, but there are enough lutefisk lovers for it to advertised in a big way when it traditionally starts being served in restaurants during the wintertime. I only ever tried it once (and perhaps it wasn't the best place to try it -- a workplace cafeteria), and as much as I love seafood -- even the pickled, sour herring, I really didn't like this stuff... Lutefisk pie, I've never heard ot, but perhaps it is a regional dish -- most Christmas dishes tend to be. If at all possible, I would check if this request is genuine, though. It could be that this guy is a huge lutefisk fan, but Norwegians have an enormous sense of humor -- sort of like an American visiting Norway, and his friends conning his hosts into taking him to McDonald's for dinner... Kinda like taking a Japanese visitor to the US to a sushi bar... I've taken Norwegians out for dinner here, and they went straight for the big, oversized American steaks, commenting after the meal -- with heads nodding in approval -- that Americans really know food! Last thing they'd want, would be lutefisk.

I dunno -- Tiffany seems fairly obnoxious at times, too. And seeing Candice's reaction after the Quickie Mart episode, where nearly every single competitor recieved extremely negative critique -- well, everyone except Candice took it reasonably well. Tiffany said something to the effect of, "That was really harsh, but yeah, true," whereas Candice went on camera twice, being completely and utterly indignant about the comments on her soup. It made me believe that perhaps Candice has never experienced that shocking event, where people tell you that your shit stinks. I mean, she made soup by heating a can of soup, and dropping a few things into it -- and the judge's comment was that it (I can't quite remember) tasted like nacho cheese dip, and her response was that the judge was out of line, since there was no cheese in her soup. Being onboxious, arrogant and haughty is certainly a bad thing -- but if you're skilled, it's a forgiveable sin. If you're incompetent, it's not. Spike TV's ultimate fighter show/UFC used some sort of a catchphrase early on, that this wasn't like other reality shows, where you'd lose becase you got voted off the island by popular vote -- I figure that goes for this show as well.

Not exactly an insult (or at least not neccessarily intended as an insult), but in the movie Bend It Like Beckham, the main character is fitted for a dress... Her mother insists on a tight-fitting outfit to show off her daughter's curves, seeing that she's such a soccer-playing tomboy -- and the dress-maker (also female) tells the mother not to worry -- and points toward's the daughter's chest -- and assures the mother that once she is done with the dress, "...these mosquito bites will look like juicy, juicy mangoes!" (You have to image that line being said with a strong Indian accent, by the way.)

1) What about your favorite stories -- disasters, accidents and near-accidents, embarrassments, people screwing up or losing their composure, idiocy and incompetence -- you know, the good stuff... Give us a few anecdotes from your professional life. Share some stories.

Thanks for all the comments! christine007, seekh and sish kebabs were both served at Abdul's. Seekh used ground meat, while shish used cubed, marinated meat -- altough I can't remember if mushrooms, tomatoes etc. accompanied it. These were all rolled in naans. TongoRad, yeah I actually read the recipe incorrectly the first time I scanned through it, and brought out the coriander instead of the cardamom -- coriander and cumin is just such a common combination of spices. I wouldn't mind trying that, actually. And yeah, the bread was not my own. It came from a local hole-in-the-wall restaurant. But I'll hopefully be deploying a pizza stone out on the bbq later this week, in an attempt at making some naan, and will report back. Abra and tejon, yeah I think you're right about removing the seeds from the cardamom pods... I'm just a tad embarrassed to admit this (live and learn, I guess) but yeah, I should probably just have gotten seeds out instead.

Seekh Kebab demo When I was in college, the student hall I stayed in had certain meals that were commonly known as "Abdul's Special." Not that anyone named Adbul had anything to do with the dishes in question -- it was just that some dishes served up by this hall were so disagreable, that enough students decided to forgo a free dinner, and instead rush off to Abdul's Takeaway, down the road. Abdul's had fantastic Sish and Chicken Tikka Kebabs served in Naan breads, and Doner and Seekh Kebabs served in Naan (large) or in Pita breads (small). Their samosas and onion bajis were great too. I've been trying to recreate their seekh kebabs, and this was my latest effort... Normally, you'd find seekh kebab as a starter in most restaurants, but I think this makes for a great main course. Seekh Kebabs Here's my meez, clockwise from top left: 1/2 cup of red onion, 5 cloves of garlic, 1/2 cup of almonds (these were sliced, but anything would do -- they are to be blanched and ground), meat (it really should be lamb, but most often I use a combination of lamb and beef -- in this case just beef -- I used 95% fat free in this case, because I didn't want too much shrinkage, nor fat drippings), couple of tablespoons of cilantro, and a teaspoon each of salt, cumin seeds, black peppercorns and green cardamom pods. At the bottom are eight bamboo skewers wrapped in paper and soaked in water. First step, roast the cardamom, pepper and cumin: Dump in a spice grinder or mortar, but let them cool a little first. Next, boil some water and blanch the almonds. As far as I understand it, these will work as a binder in the mixture -- keeping things together. Then, dump everything except the meat into a food processor (I sifted the ground spices -- the cardamom pods had a lot of extra fiber) ... ... and process it: Mix everything with the meat, very thoroughly ... ... and shape onto flat bambo skewers: Now, this can all be made well ahead, and stored in the fridge -- but as I was cooking it straight away, I left the kebabs in the freezer. This helps them keep their shape. While that was going on, I lit the grill and got started on the raita. Abdul's had two sauces: yogurt and chili. I normally make a yogurt-mint-cucumber based raita, but in this case, I made an apple based one; Sav Raita. Here are the components -- apple, plain yogurt, cayenne pepper, cilantro and water: Finely chop the apple and cilantro and mix everyting else together. Next, grill the kebabs. This was over medium hot coals, but high heat would work fine also. The meat ends up being quite thinly layered on these skewers, so they tend to cook fast -- three or four minutes a side or so. I've gotta remember to place things on a 45 degree angle, rather than a 90 degree one -- the grill marks just don't look as good this way. And although the skewers seem pretty charred, I assure you they are fine, and ready for their next assignment. Bamboo skewers are amazingly resilient. The presentation is simple: finely chop a bunch of cabbage (lovely texture -- although I must admit I can no longer remember what Abdul's used -- and of course, some cucumber and tomatoes would make the presentation look a whole lot better) and just leave the kebab skewers on top of it. Help yourself to some naan bread: And that's it: Naan, seekh kebab, sav raita, cabbage and some hot sauce: A few notes on this particular dish: - The predominant flavor of the kebabs was the cardamom. This surprised me, as I expected the cumin to take center stage. Next time, I'll use a little less of it -- not because I dislike cardamom, but I'd like the spices to balance a little more. - The kebabs themselves will end up being quite dry (the meat ends up being quite thinly "wrapped" around the skewers and cooks very quickly), so using a raita type sauce is a must. Also, the kebabs would be a bit more interesting, with some chilis. I'll definitely add that the next time around. - And yeah, this is a really messy meal to eat... That last picture shows a single seekh kebab on half a (relatively small) naan. What Abdul's served up was a great big naan wrapped around a mess of three seekh kebabs and whatever else went into it, tied up in a paper wrapping like a big burrito (but infinitely better). After an evening of highly intellectual discourse in the local, this was the way to round things up, I tells ya. A few more tries, and I'm sure I'll have it all perfected... Then, I'll just need to learn how to make those cricket ball-sized onion bajis...

Of COURSE you should bastardize, experiment, and twist and turn original dishes into new ones -- if the original dish had anything good going for it, it will survive on its own merit. Besides, I'm not at all sure that the Margherita was the first and original pizza anyhow... I thought it more or less started out with anchovies... I like thin crusted Margheritas, anchovies -- and that ingenious California Pizza Kitchen's Caramelized Pear & Blue Cheese pizza. Conversely, while I strongly doubt that the California-style Extra Spicy Crispy Rainbow Dream Roll with #7 Magic Sauce qualifies as authentic sushi, that doesn't inherently make it bad eats -- nor should it prevent anyone from enjoying more traditional, original sushi. This reminds me of one of Gary Larson's Far Side cartoons: a bunch of cavemen are sitting around a fire, trying to cook pieces of meat by holding them over the fire -- with their hands. They're obviously in great pain since their hands are being burned... Off to the side, there's another fire, and a solitary, nerdy looking caveman using a stick to hold his meat over the fire. The other cavemen are belittling him for not sticking to the authentic, original recipe...

While I agree that it might be a betrayal of trust to feed someone food they would normally object to, I think this cuts both ways: If someone cares enough to create a nice meal for you, you'd better make sure your food preferences are real and not imagined, before you make them jump through hoops to accomodate you. Myself, I've got a minor problem with bell peppers (bell pepper-flavored belches -- whether raw or completely dissolved through by prolonged cooking) so I never cook with them myself, but a friend of mine utilize them in some of his favorite dishes, and I've got no problem eating those, in spite of what I know will happen later. The closest cooking experience I've had, to what is described in this thread's initial post, was to cook garlic mashed potatoes for party that included a couple of maniacally garlic obsessed guys, by going light on the garlic (so that everyone else could enjoy the stuff too), and using a good dose of horseradish instead -- giving everyone the impression of obscene amounts of garlic... I told everyone except the garlic fiends what I'd done, and it seemed to have worked out just fine. I only did this once -- now I just leave extra garlic out for people to help themselves... But it goes to show how subjective our preferences can be.

Last week, they cooked for the clientelle of the Spunky Spanky S&M Club, and this week they are catering for Chuck E. Cheese. Is that a step up, or a step down? I think it's a step down. On one hand, I wonder if desserts shouldn't be considered more of a pastry chef's repertoire, so it seems that this might not be such a good test. But on the other hand, cooking for 10 year olds (and nevermind their undeveloped palates), where entertaining the clientelle by impersonating a monkey earns you 1,000 extra bonus points doesn't seem like such a good test of a chef's abilities either. Or maybe this is just another indication of where the network is going: If you can light your own farts and scream like a monkey, you might be the next Food Network Celebrity. If you can't -- well, who the hell cares about your cooking anyhow?

Bravo -- a truly excellent story.

Thanks to everyone for excellent advice! At first I felt a tad confused because there seems to be so many different opinions on how this dish should be done – but the more I read, and re-read this thread, they all look so damn tasty, I'm thinking, I'm gonna have nothing but Schnitzel for the next couple of weeks Well, here's the result: This batch was fried at a higher temperature than the others, so it took on a darker color, btw. I went with small read potatoes, boiled & fried (and fresh dill). English cucumber and red onions thinly sliced and marinated in apple cider vinegar. And veal scallopini dredged in flour seasoned very gently with salt and pepper, dipped in beaten eggs (no water), and covered with Japanese Panko breadcrumbs, with a little finely chopped parsley – and parsley added on the plate (as well as lemon juice). Adding parsley to the crumbs was probably not a good idea – the parsley tends to get burned by the time the cutlet is done. They were also quite under-seasoned, and I notice someone in this thread saying to add the seasoning to the egg mixture, rather than the flour, so maybe I'll try that next time – as well as just using more of it. The Panko crumbs were fantastic. The overall texture is quite different from normal crumbs, so someone who's really hooked in the traditional style might not go for it, but I loved it (as did my guests). The crust was extremely crunchy, but also very “airy” and light. And yeah, Sauerkraut wouldn't be a good match for this at all. Next time around, while I won't add anything to the crumbs, I think I'll add more seasonings to the eggs or flour – not just salt and pepper, but maybe a pinch of cayenne or hot paprika, maybe some thyme. I'll have to think about that. For sides, I really like the idea of a potato salad – that would be very practical, to be done ahead of time. Of course, I want to try the spaetzle too... Now, the use of veal scallopini was an oversight... I figured this would be easier, since they're already flattened – but they were really small. I've used these before for Saltimbocca, but I don't remember them being so small. So instead of making a few, big slabs of Schnitzel, I ended up with about 20 really small ones. It completely threw my timing off, and was a lot more work.

Hang on -- I'm not sure you got that right... If the US Copyright Office makes that distinction between the ingredient list and the text that describes the preparation of the dish (the latter bing copyrightable, the former not), you do NOT need to add or subtract an ingredient in order to "make it yours." You can simply take a recipe's list of ingredients, word by word -- as long as you write your own description of the preparation. Don't get me wrong here, because I think the decent thing to do, is to quote your inspiration/source, of course. I'm just saying, strictly speaking, the list of ingredients is not copyrightable...

I don't think it's okay to be "stupid" when you cook... This dumbing down business is really bad. I'm not sure if cooking should be described as a hobby, or something else, but every hobby or interest that I have ever enjoyed, required me to LEARN things. This has certainly been the case with cooking. I've got no problem with feeling ignorant or saying ignorant things -- as long as I'm given the oportunity to learn something -- but if everything is dumbed down for me, I'd always remain ignorant. That's not a good thing.

I'm getting impatient here... When will someone cook a Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger and post the pictures in this thread???!~! How long will we have to wait?!

Having had the same disapointing experience with supermarket strawberries vs. childhood strawberries, I once read that there is a particular type of extremely tasty strawberries that died out because they weren't as "commercially successful" as the giant, fancy looking, but tasteless berries... Supposedly, the only traces left of these berries in the US today, are as seeds in some government facility. I know that sounds very Indiana Jones-y, and obviously, I hope it's wrong. The only specific thing I know about this brand of strawberries is that they were specifically imported and grown in Canada, to be served to Queen Victoria during her visist. Sounds like the Holy Grail of strawberries to me.

I'm planning on doing some Wiener Schnitzel for Sunday dinner (veal, thin/pounded thin, floured, egg-washed, breaded (panko, is my plan)) and I've got parsley and lemon lined up, cause I know that's the traditional thing. But I'm less sure about what to serve with it. I've got sauerkraut, potatoes, uh, butter... However, I'd like to do something more. I just don't know what would go well with Wiener Schnitzel. Was wondering about Spaetzle, but don't know if that's suitable. It can be finished, sauteed in a pan -- although I'm not sure if it would be sensible to do that, since the schnitzels are done the same way. Also, I'm pretty fond of doing sauces, and although I know this dish is supposed to be simple, I am tempted to do a Bearnaise sauce to go along with it -- or perhaps to go along with some small, red potatoes... Any suggestions, please?

Oh yeah, you're right -- that was on PBS, not TFN. Thanks. My thoughts exactly. I've got a theory, as to why they let the bratty Irishmen go so soon -- the ginger haired ac/dc gal will take his place as the major source of conflict and trauma on the show. In some of her shots, she looks halfway relaxed and friendly, but man -- in about half of her appearances, she looks like someone had just flung cat piss in her face and murdered her entire family with a cheese grater. She looks SO ANGRY.

Just saw two two first episodes... First off, I use a spoon to taste things, and it puts me off to see people use their fingers. However, that whole Kenneth Lee (the arrogant Irishman) finger-in-the-sauce thing seemed kinda contrived. No one's brought this up in this thread so far, but remember how Keller berated Lee, saying they'd have to throw the sauce out and start over again? Lee wasn't told off for being obnoxious until he dared to ask Keller if he really HAD thrown the sauce out. I think this was a perfectly valid question, but you never saw him answer it -- you just saw the entire room falling upon Lee like a pack of famished hyenas on a quadriplegic zebra. True or false, it totally gave me the impression that the sauce hadn't been thrown out after all... Which seems pathetic and hypocritical to me... Very "The Emperor's New Clothes" meets "Lord of the Flies," you know? The whole thing looked oddly similar to the scene from that FoodTV cooking show, where a contestant dared to offer the opinion that one of Todd English's dishes were oversalted.

Here's my effort -- Salmon Chowder: Based on a Clam Chowder recipe from FoodTV Canada's Mike Smith. That recipe starts out with cooking the bacon -- so I set some of that aside for garnishing. That's a really good idea, I think. Crispy bacon does wonders. Bacon -- it does a body good. Heh. I went a tad overboard with the parlsey garnish -- I tried placing two big sprigs decoratively in the soup, but they kept turning over and sinking. I didn't like how the thyme looked; black specs floating around like that -- next time I think I'll BG it instead.

I'm fond of good coffee, so I ususually walk on by Starbucks... All that frappa-, mocha- smackka-chino with half fat, half no-fat, non-diary creamer & a freakin' lemon twist gets on my nerves sometimes. With good coffee, you don't need any of that stuff in it. Yeah I'm a grumpy bawster sometimes

I guess I'd have to pick every option except "Temptingly Different." But how 'bout option (e) "Scary, too heavy on calories, bizarre and even possibly downright repellant -- but if you don't keep an open mind, you'll never make any interesting discoveries -- and besides, adding salt to sweet dishes and sugar to savory ones works pretty good. So if presented with the oportunity, I would at least try taking a bite, just to check it out."

Those look REALLY nice -- fluffy and light. I think of my eclairs rather more like chocolate covered, goo-filled logs, than delectable pastries at this point... If I wasn't so stubborn, I'd try this out instead. Nice work.

Thanks once again -- that's great information. Hopefully, it'll be enough for me to get it right the next time around. Just for the record, even though I left the eclairs in the fridge overnight, the filling remained liquid (pretty much showing everything you guys said, is correct).

Okay, here's my latest effort... It turned out better, but I'm still missing something -- my guess is, maybe I should just try to make them way ahead of time and let them sit in the fridge to "settle." Because the filling (pastry cream) DID thicken up nicely when I heated it -- but after I let it cool, it wasn't so thick anymore... Anyhow, this was the result: Out of the oven (prior to adding filling and topping), they looked pretty decent (uh, okay, that's just my amateur opinion, heheh). The last one was just the leftover... But when I turned them over, the big ones had a sort of "canyon" underneath, and when I inserted the filling, it tended to leak out a bit there... Perhaps the problem is, I might have made them too big? Finally, the finished eclairs with chocolate topping (after a couple got eaten -- I was a little slow on the camera trigger there). The aspect of tempering chocolate is a little beyond me at this point, so I don't expect to get it firm and shiny. Here's the recipe I've been using. It's from "Woman's Day Encyclopedia of Cooking," 1966 edition. (Scaled down by half.) First, the filling: Vanilla Cream Filling -- basically, custard with cornstarch and vanilla. 1.5 cup milk 6 Tbsp sugar 3 Tbsp cornstarch 1/4 tsp salt 1 beaten egg 1/2 Tbsp butter 1 tsp vanilla extract Method: 1) Mix sugar, cornstarch and salt. 2) Scald milk in saucepan. 3) Stir sugar, cornstarch and salt into milk. 4) Cooking, stirring until thickened. 5) Cover, cook for 10 minutes. 6) Temper eggs with mixture, add eggs. 7) Cook for 5 minutes, add butter. 8) Put in bowl, sprinkle with sugar (to avoid skin). 9) Chill. Add vanilla. I particularly like the way the cornstarch is heated to thicken up -- before the egg is added. That sort of takes care of the problem of heating things enough to thicken it, but not so much it starts scrambling the eggs. I put this into a soup bowl, covered it with cling-wrap (stabbed a few holes in it with a knife though) and left it in the fridge, while I made the eclairs themselves. Then, the eclair dough: 1/2 cup water 4 Tbsp butter 1/8 tsp salt 1/2 cup AP flour 2 eggs, beaten Method: 1) Melt butter with water and salt in a saucepan, bring to a rolling boil. 2) Reduce heat and stir in flour. 3) Remove from heat and add eggs, stirring until smooth. (I did the tempering thing here too). 4) Place in ziplock bag, cut corner and pipe onto greased tinfoil sheet (I like that better than cookie sheets). 5) Cook for 45 minutes at 400F. 6) Cool on a rack (moved to the fridge afterwards, as I felt I was running out of time). And the assembly: 1) Cut (small) holes in end of eclairs. 2) Use turkey baster to inject filling. (Filling had liquified a lot at this point, and would spill out a bit.) 3) Leave eclairs in freezer, hoping for the filling to solidify -- which it didn't. 4) Melt chocolate, water, sugar and a dash of salt, dip top of eclairs into this, and return to freezer. That's it. And yeah -- if you paid attention -- I did forgot to add the vanilla. Argh. I would really, really, really like to be able to nail this dessert. Because, if I could -- there'd be no end to what I could do with it. I could incorporate rasberries in the chocolate topping, and blueberries in the filling. Or orange rind and strawberries. Anything.