Grub

Jamaican Beef Patties: (Well, there's one patty here, just sliced in half)... There was a thread on this board recently about these things, and I figured I'd try make one -- I've made a lot of puff pastry and phyllo dough stuff, and wanted to try make the pastry stuff myself. It was a bit of work, but pretty interesting. I'm wondering though -- where'd this stuff come from? Seems like this would be something the Brits brought to Jamaica -- Cornish pastry looking things, they are. Just done with Jamaican ingredients, maybe? (Although that'd probably be goat, not beef -- but it probably got translated to beef for import to the US; people don't dig on goats here, heheh). Oh, the two sauces -- the dark one is a peanut-soy-curry sauce, whereas the yellow one is a mint-yogurt sauce (seeing that the patties were pretty hot, with a habanero pepper going for it). The rice just got some paprika, as much for the color as anything else.

There's a Norwegian stew called "lapskaus" -- I'm not perfectly certain about this, but I believe that might have been the origin of this dish. Norway always had an extremely active shipping industry, and Norwegian sailors went everywhere. Pretty much every busy shipping port had a Norwegian sailors' church -- Liverpool in particular. The nickname "Scouser" for Liverpoodlians (or more specifically, Liverpoodlians from Merseyside, I think) comes from this dish. The words are obviously variant spellings of the same dish, but I've never come across any definite evidence of its origin. The word doesn't break down into any sensible, linguistic meaning.

I tried to cook things for a long, long time, and never had much luck. There just seemed to be something magic about being able to put ingredients together and make something edible from it, but my efforts were rewarded the same way as when I tried to learn how to perform magic tricks -- just complete failure, and I'd have NO idea why this was so. In particular, I remember trying to fry up a pile of ground beef, with whatever I found in the supermarket shelves through in -- water chestnuts, bamboo shots (which seemed extremely exotic and elegant to me) along with various condiments like soy sauce, ketchup, mustard, whatever... I couldn't for the life of me figure out why the beef wouldn't brown up. It was just get gray and nasty -- not at all like the gorgeous browned, caramelized stuff I'd seen in a magazine somewhere. I obviously had no idea about basic cooking concepts like not overcrowding the pan, or the notion that things release liquid when they're cooked -- I just tried high heat, low heat, and everything in between. It was horrible. I had no idea what I was doing. Eventually, I managed to learn how to cook a few simple dishes, but overall, I would certainly have given up on cooking -- except for one thing... I was staying in a house (rented by my company) with a couple of collegues, in England, in a small town that only had a few restaurants. We got sick and tired of the local food and decided to cook something. The Englishman and myself made a meal each -- completely unremarkable stuff, but at least edible. Then the third day, this dude who was from Spain, but had grown up in France, served up some stuff that just completely blew us away. I mean, the guy REALLY knew how to cook. I particularly loved the sauce. It was really impressive. We were kinda taken back -- like we'd taken the dude to shoot pool, only to realize the guy was a complete pool shark, ya know? We seriously thought this dude was a classically trained chef or something -- but apparently not. He just happened to have grown up in an environment where people cooked a lot. It blew me away that someone who wasn't a professional, could cook something that good -- and elegant... We kinda joked with him, saying "Ah, so THIS is why the chicks are all over you, uh?" (They were -- but that was cause he was basically extremely good looking, and basically, a really likeable dude, mind you) -- but he replied sagely, that people will LIKE you, if you can cook a good meal. They'll only LOVE you, if you can create a good dessert... Sounded very smart, to me. I still can't make desserts, tho...

Ooooooh... :: insert Homer Simpson drooling :: That looks fantastic. Heh, it sounds fantastic. I'm definitely making that one. What's Hutspot mean -- hotpot? I looked around for recipes, and found that most didn't use parsnips, but I think parsnip sounds like a great idea for this, so I'm definitely using that...

There's an airline named after a Formula-1 driver, who was horribly disfigured in a crash -- Alda-, Aldan Air, something -- I don't recall (it just kinda struck me that it didn't really inspire confidence in me, to be flying on an airline run/operated/named after a guy who wound his car around a flagpole and ended up looking like the Extra Crispy Kentucky Fried Elephant Man, ya know? Oh, but I digress...) I caught a flight with them from Germany to Austria, and boya, they had some fancy food there. This was business-class -- which isn't at all like US business-class of course (same seats, just different colors), but the food is different from coach (or Euroclass or whatever it was called). The flight was a very short one, so it wasn't much more than a snack. But it was very artistic and elegant. Other than that, I've always wanted to bring along a giant, economy, family-sized gargantuan bag of pretzels on a short flight where everyone gets a free soda and a stupidly small bag of pretzels... I'd not eat my mini bag of pretzels at all -- perhaps someone would ask if I was gonna eat my pretzels, and I'd say nope. Then someone else would eat my mini bag of pretzels. And then after everyone's done eating their pretzels -- and they're prying out the last fragments, and salt crystals from the bag, and some of them have ripped open their bags and started licking the insides to get at the last itty bitty pieces -- then, I'd take my giant bag of pretzels out from the overhead compartment, and start stuffing my face with 'em, like fistfulls of pretzels, pieces of pretzels going everywhere. I envision myself making oink-oink sounds while gorging on pretzels, rolling my eyes and groaning, like it's the best meal I've ever had. That's what I wanna do. I ain't dared to do it yet, tho.

Excellent thread! I'm getting ideas all over the place here... My contribution: Broiled salmon. Slap a salmon fillet on a piece of tinfoil (skin side down, and no oil on the tinfoi -- you want the skin to stick), drizzle S&P and olive oil on it and broil it on a low rack in the oven for 12-15 min, depending on the thickness of your fillet as well as your oven. If your oven is uh, hot-tempered (and your fillets are thick), you should spend 5-10 on 400 bake, and then 10 or so on full-temperature broil, to cook it through, and get some nice brownage on the top. You can now lift the fillet off the tinfoil, leaving the skin behind (of course, if you like the skin, you can just add some olive oil to the tinfoil before placing the salmon there). The beauty of this simple dish, is that it's so easy to make it into something more... I've got orange zest in the freezer (it keeps amazingly well), and adding that to the S&P, and some grated ginger, and swapping the ordinary S&P out for some sea salt and green peppercorn -- voila, you've got something entirely different. And even if it isn't as simple as the initial recipe, it's still a fairly trivial meal to prep. I love the idea of really, really simple meals -- stripping it down to the bare essentials... Then, you can try to build something else from it. Very cool.

Couldn't agree more. Dunno who came up with this joke, but first occurence I've seen was from Monty Python's live performance at the Hollywood Bowl, when they did the "Bruce" skit, and had everone drinking Fosters, tossing a few cans to the audience, and explained that they had to bring their own beer because American beer is like having sex in a canoe. Fucking close to water. Old joke, but oh so true. Of course, same thing goes for Fosters, mind ya... <-- Lifetime CAMRA member...

Look at it this way, a person is so clueless that the only reason they decide to become a vegetarian (note: they'll probably still eat fish !) is that JO slaughtered a lamb on TV! If I was a strict vegetarian I would not want them to be one. why? Because they are "nitwits" . ← Right on the money -- and thank you, FoodMan. I'm not bashing vegetarians. But yeah, I do bash nitwits -- sorry. But it's not as if I'm bigoted or nuthen -- hey, some of my best friends are vegetarians! (Okay, I done told a lie right there: some of my closest friends were vegetarians). I mean, fer Pete's sakes, I eat vegetables every day -- I ain't prejudiced. Friend of mine grew up with animals bred for human consumption, and his parents named the animals -- which might not seem like a good idea, but well... The beasts were given names like Pork Chops, Ribeye, Chasseur and Coqauvin, that kinda stuff. It sounded a little morbid to me the first I heard of it, but I think it makes sense. There's something inherently hypocritical about a meat-eater who is unaware -- and refuses to be made aware -- of the fact that an animal had to die, to provide the good stuff on their plate. I don't think vegetarians are nitwits. I think meat eaters who suddenly become vegetarians when they realize that their ham sandwich could not have reached fruition without the death of a live, breathing animal, are nitwits.

They are usually zapped in the head with a taser. Clearly a much more enjoyable experience. ... ← Ah, I found something more on that one. Apparently, by law, that's the way it has to be done in Britain -- however, the episode was filmed in Italy, so unless their laws are similar, he didn't do anything illegal (but then, who knows with the EU). Now, if the Food Network had some cajones, they'd do a Cook's Tour right, and covered the bit where Bourdain had a pig slaughtered in Portugal. That stuff read like Ichy The Killer or something. They should team up Bourdain with Takashi Miike -- and put Alton Brown in charge of the cinematography, of course...

Uh, how are lambs normally slaughtered? Should he have choked the poor, fluffy little thing until it passed out, or slugged it on the noggin with a mallet? Or wait until nighttime and sneak up on it in a ninja outfit, or something? Heh, the anti-meat-eating crowd should be perfectly happy with that episode -- imagine how many nitwits will have a Linda McCartney-moment and disavow meat forever, after watching something so utterly evil, wicked and horrible

Salmon in phylo dough, baked potato fan, mixed veggies and a hollandaise sauce: Chicken saltimbocca with pan gravy, and potatoes au gratin: Macchi Fry Koliwada (Battered fried fish, from Mumbai) with Bihari Aloo Ka Bharta (Mashed potatoes of Bihar): Kashmiri lamb chops The last two dishes from Monica Bhide's Beginners Guide to Regional Indian Cooking.

Oh, holy crap -- what the hell is THAT? Soylent Green? Wahahaha, that one's a keeper!

Heheh, yeah it might not make the front cover of a gourmet cooking magazine, but I still think that looks like good eats, that. I think what I've learned from this thread (and from the original "Dinner" thread, of course), is that food that doesn't look good in a picture, can still taste absolutely fantastic -- now, I already knew that... But what I've learned (as a complete amateur cook) is the importance of visual appeal in a meal. So I'm trying to think a lot more about the colors in the things I use -- vegetables, meats, sauces and garnishes.

Whahaha! Oh man, I honestly did consider posting this in the "real" Dinner thread. Just cause these babies taste THAT good, and uh, maybe I'm not such a visual guy, and beauty being in the eye of the beholder or whatnot -- and these leftovers taste great, so I didn't quite realize how bad the picture looked... But yeah, it's bad. The leeches are cranberry yelly -- and there's a tater or two left in there also. Gravy can look good on a plate. I guess that's not true for leftovers. Duh. Oh well.

Stir-Fry Shrimp with Tamarind

Meatcakes (Norwegian "Kjøttkaker")... Quite a lot of work, but the good thing is, always quite a lot of leftovers! Sad thing is, I failed to take a picture of the plated meals, which looked quite good (in a sort of super-hearty, fjord-diving, reindeer-chasing, glacier-climbing high-caloric, uh, viking, pillaging & burning-kinda way). As good as they taste as leftovers, they look kinda ... narly...

Alinka, those two pictures both look great to me. Very sharp, and color-balanced and whatnot. And yeah, I'd eat that stuff. If that's the worst you've ever done, I reckon you're way ahead of the curve Heheh, good one that. I'm relieved you've found something worthy of this gallery of shame -- you're always posting so many excellent pictures in the original "Dinner" thread, dude.

Man, that is absolutely gorgeous -- 'cept the picture is, uh, too rich... The color needs adjusting.

Just finished reading "Kitchen Confidential" -- awesome! Really enjoyable stuff; laughing out loud-stuff in several sections. And for an amateur, food enthusiast cook, it seemed quite informative -- as well as inspiring, and downright frightening in parts... And of course, in these Victorian times, it's always refreshing to read an author unafraid of using all the fucking words in the English language... Absolutely excellent. I've never done this before, but I think I'm gonna read it again -- back-to-back -- before I pass it on to others to read.

That is awesome! I mean, the description is just amazingly awful... "Shrimp Pilaf with Keema Curry and Hot Dog" -- I want to see that on a restaurant menu one day...

Crunchy Frog?!

Red Thai Chicken Curry: I have no idea how authentic it is, to use taters in such a dish, but I love spuds so I went for it. Rice would have worked better, since the sauce ended up so thin -- next time I'll use some cornstarch slurry to thicken it. And, next time I'll use half the red curry paste, and mild chilis for garnish -- this recipe was extremely hot. But there'll definitely be a next time. It's one of the simplest wok dishes I've ever made. Everything was cooked in the wok. And there was no prep work required at all -- normally, I have to cut & slice and prepare all ingredients and meez them and whatnot, because there's no time once you strt cooking. But with this one, I could easily do everything while things were bubbling along in the wok -- and have loads of time left over. 1. Heat the wok, and slice an onion into wedges. Dump it in and stir-fry for 3-4 min. 2. Dump in a can of coconut milk, bring to a boil. 3. Dump in 1 tbsp brown sugar, 2 tbsp fish sauce and 2 (well actually, one, unless you're really keen on heat) tbsp red curry paste. 4. Dump in the taters (cut them in half unless they are really small) and let simmer for 20 min. While that's going on, slice two chicken breasts into bite-sized pieces. 6. Dump chicken in and let simmer for 10-15 min (until chicken is done). While that's going on, squeeze up one lime, and chop 1 tbsp basil and 1 tbsp mint, and for garnish, tear up about 3-5 kafir lime leaves (depending on their size) and chop up a couple of chilis -- mild and seeded (or not, if you are a complete heat-maniac ) I could only get green chilis -- the recipe called for red ones, which would look better in the picture, seeing that all the other garnish is green... 7. Take off heat, dump in lime juice, basil and mint, stir. 8. Plate, and garnish. (Oh, and I guess, halfway through 6, I'd add some cornstarch slurry to thicken the sauce.)

Waaza, thanks for the tip on the onions. I do remember you stressed the importance of cooking the onions immediately after they were chopped, so I've always done that. But obviously, the use of a blender wasn't a good idea, heheh. I think I'll also make sure to use my sharpest knife when I chop an onion up (so as to minimise the "bruising" of the onion). I don't get around to sharpening my chef's knife as often as I should, but I've got a ceramic knife that should do the job nicely. The method you described for chopping onions seems completely logical and sensible. I'm trying to think of how I normally do it, but for some reason I can't quite picture it -- but your method seems to make perfect sense. I'll do it that way next time around. Thanks! Diane, thanks for the recipe. I've got it saved off, and will report back once I've tried it out.

Grilled thyme and rosemary salmon, with peas: Got some nice grillmarks on the fish, and tried (slightly desperately) to make it look good by plating it on top of the peas, and dressing it up with some chopped scallions and whatnot, and I reckon it looks okay... But the taste was a complete disaster. The peas were from a frozen bag, that included an Alfredo-type sauce, which would have been just fine -- but the mixture also contained bacon, which I hadn't realized. Not just the itty-bitty, crispy stuff you might use in a salad. And not just a few either -- like a can of "Pork and Beans" that contains a single cube of bacon. No, sirree, these were slabs of smokey, pork oink-oink hog-fat bacon. I can't really think of anything that this stuff would be good, to be served with -- but grilled thyme-rosemary salmon certainly ain't it.

That's really amazing -- you mean to say it was an unplanned, and more or less accidental picture? It's a great shot. My hat's off to ya. Keep taking more pictures.