Whiny Diners

[KatieLoeb]

markk:

With all due respect you've obviously never been standing at the front door of a busy high volume reservation oriented restaurant at 7:45pm on a Saturday night with a line of people in front of you, trying to make sure that they all get seated in a timely fashion, are seated in a section that didn't also just get sat so you can have your server's undivided attention to get you started, to make sure that everyone doesn't all sit down at once like a boarding house and slam the kitchen because then everyone's meal will suffer, etc.

Not liking the color of the guy's shirt at the next table doesn't qualify. Needing to assert your authority to impress your date isn't a good reason either. There are tons of folks that do this every day. I'd ask any other restaurant managers or hosts to chime in here and back me up. I'm not saying you do it, but think about what the real reason you're asking to be moved and see if it qualifies as compelling or not. If by your own definition the request is frivolous, why are you making it?? If it isn't frivolous then it falls under the definition of "compelling" I explained earlier. If there's a compelling issue that can be explained in advance then by all means explain that to the hostess when making the reservation, e.g. "I have a soft cast on my foot from an injury and would prefer a corner booth that would allow me to keep my leg out of harm's way", or whatever. Otherwise do not torment the hostess and everyone else in the restaurant by being insistent at the height of service. It's just inconsiderate of the business. And it is a business.

The restaurant business is unlike any other. Frivolous requests can really screw up the groove of what's happening and what has been laid out as the floor plan for the evening in a busy high volume place that relies on reservations. As much as can be mapped out ahead of time has been, so you aren't left standing around and are greeted and seated promptly when you arrive. The five minutes it took to reseat you at another identical table has now made the other parties waiting at the host desk late for their reservation. It snowballs from there. Just because a table is empty doesn't mean it's available. It might be reserved for a guest that requested a certain server or certain table. It might be being kept empty purposely because there's a big party next to it that hasn't arrived yet. There is logic to what's going on that might not be visible to the untrained naked eye. You just have to trust us, just as you trust us to feed you well and not give you food poisoning or mess up your drink order.

[markk]

markk:

think about what the real reason you're asking to be moved and see if it qualifies as compelling or not.

No, I will not. I'm not trying to sound rude here (thought that may), but if I have to do what you're asking, I'll go and dine elsewhere first. If I'd prefer to sit somewhere other than where you've taken me, I don't have to question my own motives, and I don't have to justify them to you. I'll ask you nicely, for sure, but I won't do what you're suggesting. I think that your first reaction as a restaurant should be to think "whatever I can do to make this customer's dining experience more pleasureable is what I want to do, because we're in business to please our customers", and to worry about your seating plan later.

Some years ago I had dinner with a friend from college who had become a bartender. He spent the whole meal explaining the perspective of the servers to me, which I didn't find that compelling after the first few minutes. Then, when our appetizers were cleared and the waiter set down our main courses and left, I found that I didn't have a fork. So I tried to get the waiter's attention, and my friend said, "leave him alone, man. He's in 'the weeds' - that's what we call the part of the service when everybody wants something at once".

So I should eat my veal chop with my hands to make the waiter's job easier? I should tell the hostess why I want a different table so that she can pass judgement on my reason? That's ridiculous.

What's next, serving me a well done steak when I ordered it rare and explaining that with a restaurant full of customers at the height of service, things sometimes sit under the heat lamp just long enough that they overcook, and that I'll have to accomodate that as well? Or the server bringing me the wrong side dishes and explaining that this is the kitchen's busiest time?

In my business, I do what's best for my customers, not for me, and when I'm the customer, I'd like to go somewhere to eat that makes it clear that that's their attitude as well. Unarguably, there are things that you need to do to keep the restaurant running as smootly as it can, but they can't possibly take precedence over pleasing the customers. I think you've completely and totally lost your perspective.

Edited January 8, 2007 by markk (log)

[markk]

And now I'll tell a nice story.

Once I was in a high-end restaurant that was just mobbed - it was an "in" and "hot" place, and there were mobs of people at the bar hoping to get tables, plus people with reservations waiting. I arrived at the time of my reservation, and (presumably because I'm a regular) was taken directly to a table.

It was the one and only cramped table in the place, and it wouldn't have been my first choice for the evening. But I could see what was going on, and I didn't say anything. Not four minutes after we sat down, a nearby table, larger and with more elbow room, left. As the busboys descended on it to clear it, I looked over at it and thought how much more comfortable it would be to sit there.

Just then the Maitre d' appeared frm behind me and asked us if we'd like to move to it. I asked, "how did you know?", and he replied, "that's my job".

That's the attitude I like from a restaurant.

[Nathan]

dude, whatever.

people like you screw up the service for other customers, like me.

not only is your attitude inconsiderate to the restaurant, more importantly it is inconsiderate to me as a fellow diner (not that we would ever eat at the same restaurants).

every request that you make has a snowball effect in a busy restaurant, ultimately inconveniencing other diners. your attitude only works at the highest echelon ($400 a person) where restaurants have the liberty of a 1.5-2:1 staff to customer ratio...and even they may not be able to switch your table.

I, for one, interact with servers as little as possible...why? it fosters efficiency, making everyone happy. I'm literate so I can read a menu..I don't need to ask questions about it. I prefer to eat things the way the chef created them (if I don't I shouldn't be eating out...I'm perfectly capable of cooking what I want at home) so I don't ask for substitutions.

Its amazing how rarely one has service issues when one operates in this fashion. Ok, once, halfway through our meal at Fatty Crab they asked to move us....they also volunteered to comp us glasses of champagne. Simple and everyone's happy.

I've only once, in a decent restaurant, had a genuine service issue. Two sentences to the manager and a quarter of the bill disappeared. Politeness goes a long ways.

[Zach Holmes]

Being a cook in the restaurant business, I think things like an over- or undercooked steak and not having a fork are perfectly acceptable things to "bother" a server with, the only thing to remember is to be polite and considerately understand that the server has lots of other people to please and she will get to you when she can, if you do that, and she still gives you attitude...

I think its also the customers responsibility to tell the server when things aren't up to par, in a busy restaurant I wouldn't expect the server to just notice things like that.

Edited January 8, 2007 by Zach Holmes (log)

[laurelm]

While not having a fork is a neccesary thing to tell a server, I disagree with nearly the rest of the post.

Yes, you are paying for a service, but paying for something does not in turn make the world solely revolve around you.

Also, if I notice a server is exceptionally busy, it is just human nature to be a lil lax on them.

At least for me, cuz I do like to treat people with respect.

If one diner makes incessant demands that screws up all the other diners, etc, you just cannot make everyone happy, and losing one person's business over the people waiting behind you is an easy math solution.

[markk]

people like you screw up the service for other customers, like me.

not only is your attitude inconsiderate to the restaurant, more importantly it is inconsiderate to me as a fellow diner (not that we would ever eat at the same restaurants).

every request that you make has a snowball effect in a busy restaurant, ultimately inconveniencing other diners.  your attitude only works at the highest echelon ($400 a person) where restaurants have the liberty of a 1.5-2:1 staff to customer ratio...and even they may not be able to switch your table.

I, for one, interact with servers as little as possible...why?  it fosters efficiency, making everyone happy.  I'm literate so I can read a menu..I don't need to ask questions about it.  I prefer to eat things the way the chef created them (if I don't I shouldn't be eating out...I'm perfectly capable of cooking what I want at home) so I don't ask for substitutions.

Its amazing how rarely one has service issues when one operates in this fashion.  Ok, once, halfway through our meal at Fatty Crab they asked to move us....they also volunteered to comp us glasses of champagne.  Simple and everyone's happy.

I've only once, in a decent restaurant, had a genuine service issue.  Two sentences to the manager and a quarter of the bill disappeared.  Politeness goes a long ways.

←

That's very interesting.

I ruin your dining experiences not because I ask to have a different table and explain to the hostess that I have a bad knee, but because I ask to have a different table by asking "could we please sit at that table instead?" and don't feel it necessary to tell her my medical condition.

If by asking like that, I "screw up the service for other customers" like you, I think that makes you the biggest whiner of them all, no?

[Nathan]

"That's very interesting.

I ruin your dining experiences not because I ask to have a different table and explain to the hostess that I have a bad knee, but because I ask to have a different table by asking "could we please sit at that table instead?" and don't feel it necessary to tell her my medical condition.

If by asking like that, I "screw up the service for other customers" like you, I think that makes you the biggest whiner of them all, no?"

Every special request in a busy restaurant almost inevitably decreases the service level for other diners. Except for the top end, there are no extraneous restaurant employees. Extra time spent attending to your needs means less time serving other customers, like me. Further, switching tables in a busy restaurant means that someone else doesn't get seated as quickly.

If you have a legitimate reason, that's one thing (although you really should endeavour to let them know in advance)...but the world is full of dining customers who make frivolous requests. If people felt compelled, as a courtesy, to justify their requests, we would have fewer frivolous ones....which means fewer special requests overall, which means better service for everyone.

[Octaveman]

Nathan, who said anything about not being polite or assuming the world revolves around Markk or anyone else that makes special requests? Katie's rant implied that Markk or anyone else shouldn't complain about various conditions they encounter at a restaurant. Seems you're in that camp too. Well, go ahead and eat your overcooked food with your hands and wipe them off on your shirt sleeve and you'd better like it too. I think it's stupid as hell to sit there and take whatever level of service or quality of food they get and expect everyone to do the same in the name of restaurant efficiency. The tail does not wag the dog.

Asking to sit at a different table is not screwing you up as the customer behind me. If anything, you may get seated quicker if I have to wait for the table I want (um...I wait, the next person in line behind me takes the table I don't want and so on). If you are ten groups back it shouldn't matter to you one bit if I get seated now or 8 tables from now. I do this all the time because of my family situation and see absolutely nothing wrong with it. Nobody at any time said anything about unreasonablness and frankly why the hell do you care if I complain my steak was overcooked? You shouldn't and contrary to what you may think, it doesn't screw anything up for anyone. So what if you get your food 30 seconds later because I had to return my steak. Effin deal with it. You have perfected the art of whining without whining. GAH!!!!!!!

Edited January 9, 2007 by Octaveman (log)

[Nathan]

Octaveman:

I think we're talking about different kinds of restaurants.

And I would indeed return a steak that was truly overcooked (I have never seen an undercooked steak)....if its marginal I might just mention it, but still eat it since I'm hardly going to wait.

I was talking about full restaurants with reservations...where indeed, any table changes have cascading effects.

[phlox]

It takes two seconds to get a fork! That is not what we're ranting about at all. Of course all restaurants want to make money, and happy customers mean more money for everyone. But some people are just bloody annoying - service industry folks are people too, we get annoyed just like everyone else who works with the public. I'm an extrovert in a big way, and even I get burnt out on being around people and smiling and standing up straight and bla bla bla.

And while I respect not wanting to talk about your personal medical issues with some dumb hostess you've never met before and I wouldn't expect this kind of explanation for a polite request, sometimes when the person making the request gives some kind of reason, it humanizes the interaction (and also can help me find the best solution to the problem), which for someone who spends all day/evening having pretty much the same freaking conversation over and over, is...well, nice. Not required, but nice.

Edited January 9, 2007 by phlox (log)

[Busboy]

markk:

think about what the real reason you're asking to be moved and see if it qualifies as compelling or not.

No, I will not. I'm not trying to sound rude here (thought that may), but if I have to do what you're asking, I'll go and dine elsewhere first. If I'd prefer to sit somewhere other than where you've taken me, I don't have to question my own motives, and I don't have to justify them to you. I'll ask you nicely, for sure, but I won't do what you're suggesting. I think that your first reaction as a restaurant should be to think "whatever I can do to make this customer's dining experience more pleasureable is what I want to do, because we're in business to please our customers", and to worry about your seating plan later.

←

I agree with your posts on one level -- it's not my job to make the restaurant's life better, it's the restaurant's job to make my life better.

I was a waiter (as well a busboy) and have a deep understanding of how things can go good or bad in the course of a night -- how a demanding or obnoxious or just time-consuming customer can throw things off for floor staff and kitchen.

But, interestingly, the experience has made me rather more demanding than less. I tried to provide excellent service when I was in the business -- (and freely admit that I was not as successful as I would have liked; the Washington restaurant scene is clearly better off with me as a customer than as an employee) -- and had the good fortune to work with both staff and management who were determined to give our customers the best. I once worked in a bar where -- no shit -- the owner lectured the waiters (as opposed to the more service-oriented bartenders) for not sleeping with enough of the female customers. My girlfriend was not amused to hear of this, but I was impressed by his commitment to his clientel (the early 80s were indeed a special time ).

My time on the floor, and my years since then taught me what excellent service is and I expect it myself, even if it includes the occasional painful request.

That being said, a restaurant on a crowded night does not have an infinite supply of "good service." There are a large number of people squeezing into a small space in a short time. There is, or should be, a little give and a lot of good attitude built into the system. But, at some point, providing special (unexpected) service for one table means diminishing another table's enjoyment.

As a consultant, if one of my clients has a moronic, ideosynchratic or merely unexpected request (not that my clients ever do) I work late one night and get up early the next day, and my other clients never know. If you start playing moveable feast at a crowded restaurant on a Saturday night, however, you may well be screwing with someone else's dinner.

That's not to say one shouldn't ask. But it to say a little explanation ("I know you're busy, but by soft tissues are acting up...") goes a long way and you should understand that special requests can't always be accommodated, without getting all pissy about it.

[markk]

you should understand that special requests can't always be accommodated, without getting all pissy about it.

←

I do very much understand that special request can't always be accommodated, and I promise you that I never get pissy. All I was saying was that if I were taken to a table that I didn't want to eat at and saw anonther one available where I'd rather dine, I'd say to the person seating me, "could we please sit over there?" without feeling the need to give the reason, especially in light of the post that said that the hostess would need to know so that she could judge if it was "valid" (she may have said "legitimate", or made to "impress my girlfriend". And that I think hers is a bad attitude for a restaurant person to have. And if the waiter has left me without a fork for my main course, I'm going to ask for one no matter how busy he is. Like you, I get up very early and work very late to please customers who have requests, and nobody knows or is inconvenienced. Neither is anybody inconvenienced if they move me to another table. The next people that they go back to seat will get the table I didn't want, and nothing about the dinner service will be affected.

[Busboy]

you should understand that special requests can't always be accommodated, without getting all pissy about it.

←

I do very much understand that special request can't always be accommodated, and I promise you that I never get pissy. All I was saying was that if I were taken to a table that I didn't want to eat at and saw anonther one available where I'd rather dine, I'd say to the person seating me, "could we please sit over there?" without feeling the need to give the reason, especially in light of the post that said that the hostess would need to know so that she could judge if it was "valid" (she may have said "legitimate", or made to "impress my girlfriend". And that I think hers is a bad attitude for a restaurant person to have. And if the waiter has left me without a fork for my main course, I'm going to ask for one no matter how busy he is. Like you, I get up very early and work very late to please customers who have requests, and nobody knows or is inconvenienced. Neither is anybody inconvenienced if they move me to another table. The next people that they go back to seat will get the table I didn't want, and nothing about the dinner service will be affected.

←

I actually didn't mean you, markk, as "you." I'm sure you're always gracious. I am editing to say "one."

On the other hand, if one is asking people to disrupt a non-arbitrary seating arrangement -- one created to ensure the greatest good for the greatest number -- it's not unreasonable to provide an explanation. In my experience, "impress my girlfriend" is generally considered a legitmate reason by restaurant professionals, btw. And, if the table is undesireable for you, it may well be for the party ultimately seated there. Not your problem, necessarily, but something the restaurant may need to consider.

[Nathan]

" Neither is anybody inconvenienced if they move me to another table. The next people that they go back to seat will get the table I didn't want, and nothing about the dinner service will be affected."

That's the problem. maybe they eat there twice a week and have a preferred table.

maybe you're trying to move from a two-top to a four-top.

maybe it's a couple having a special night.

maybe the waiter for that table is already overwhelmed and that table is being planned for seating a half hour from now.

(restaurants stagger seatings...almost no kitchen can handle every table sitting at the same time)

[markk]

That's the problem.

Well, it's their problem then. When my customers ask for something, no matter how much it's going to inconvenience me, and no matter how much it's going to disrupt the planned workflow that I've mapped out for the day or the week, I automatically answer, "your wish is my command" - I really do.

If I've asked to be moved to the only table left in the whole place, and it's a four top, and the one that they've seated me at is a two top that happens not to be satisfactory to me for some reason, they will tell me: "I'm so sorry, but that table is reserved for a party of four that's coming in a few minutes", and I'll just have to accept that.

But I have to digress and tell a quick story.

Some time ago at a company where I worked, we had a gigantic mailing to get out, and instead of using a mailing company, one of the other execs (who was here on a visa from a socialist country, which I'm just saying because it explains a lot of the story) talked us into letting his teenage kid do the project with two friends for their "junior executive" program at school.

So I explained to the kids that the materials had to be folded, and stuffed into the envelopes, and then the envelopes had to get address labels, be sealed, and run through the postage meter, and that the thousands of pieces had to be in the mail in two weeks time because they contained a dated offer. They said, "no problem" and took the job.

So the kids seemed to be dilligently at work after school every time I peeked in.

The day before the mailing had to be sent, I found two kids working, and several thousand stuffed and sealed envelopes stacked by the wall. I asked when they were planning to postage them and get them to the post office, and they told me "Oh, the third guy (name withheld) will do that when he gets back from family vacation in two weeks", and I explained that they had to be in the mail by the next day, or else.

So one of the kids explained proudly that he was the "project leader", and that they had divided up the work at the beginning, and that two of them drew stuffing and labeling, and the third one, who was out of the country, drew postaging. I told them that it didn't matter, they had better get them in the mail by the next day, and the kid told me "but we've already divided up the money!"

And I told him that if the things weren't in the mail by the next day and a few thousand dollars in printed materials were rendered useless, there'd be hell to pay.

And as I said when I hopped into this discussion, the hostess who said that she had to know my reason for wanting a different table so that she could decide whether it was 'valid' or 'frivilous' struck me as both offensive and unprofessional. While we mostly think of the chefs as the celebrities in restaurants, the people who slave over a hot stove to thrill customers with great food, it's also the FOH people who have to do a similar job (not over a hot stove but in a crowded dining room) to please customers there as well. If a customer's request for a different table is less important to her than being sure that each waiter has an equal number of tables at any given moment, then she's letting down the chef. He's inside having dishes re-made when one has come up a few minutes before another one, so that everything will arrive to a table at the peak of perfection, and she's treating the dining room as if it were a theoretical project for a restaurant-management class, forgetting that the name of the game is pleasing the customers so they'll leave glad they came, and come back another time.

And so, if I ask for a different table in a restaurant, and it means that one waiter has an extra table for a few minutes while another waiter has one less table, I expect them to do what all professional restaurants do - move me gladly and graciously, and deal with it as just another part of doing business. As far as the table I don't like - the next party seated will get it, and no other diner is inconvenienced.

(edited for clarity, I hope)

Edited January 9, 2007 by markk (log)

[phlox]

Here's the other rub, though - your hostess, server, busboy, etc., are working not only to please customers, but to not piss off their bosses so they can keep their jobs and pay the light bill. If another party is supposed to go to a certain table, I might not be able to seat you there because my boss, the general manager, has done the seating plot for the night and wants to have it that way, for whatever reason. On a Friday or Saturday night, I often have close to zero wiggle room and no room for walk-ins at all. It stinks because often I am not the person making decisions, but I have to be the bearer of bad news. Sometimes, that's just the way it is, and sometimes you are not the most important person there. I can't really help that - it's not my restaurant, I just work there - all I can do is use what little control I have to make things as pleasant as possible for people and try to be as nice as I can about it when I can't fulfill a request.

The other night a man literally started yelling at me because I couldn't guaruntee a certain table for him for Valentine's Day. There weren't any managers around that I could have him talk to, and he just WOULDN'T STOP. It takes a lot to fluster me; I've delt with a lot of jerks, but I almost cried he was so mean, like up in my space yelling at me. We just went around and around, it was so frustrating! I don't make up the rules! I even said that (in a more polite way) in an effort to level with him, but no dice. Aggh, I just wanted to run into the bathroom to get away from him!

Edited January 9, 2007 by phlox (log)

[markk]

Here's the other rub, though - your hostess, server, busboy, etc., are working not only to please customers, but to not piss off their bosses so they can keep their jobs and pay the light bill.  If another party is supposed to go to a certain table, I might not be able to seat you there because my boss, the general manager, has done the seating plot for the night and wants to have it that way, for whatever reason.  On a Friday or Saturday night, I often have close to zero wiggle room and no room for walk-ins at all.  It stinks because often I am not the person making decisions, but I have to be the bearer of bad news.  Sometimes, that's just the way it is, and sometimes you are not the most important person there.  I can't really help that - it's not my restaurant, I just work there - all I can do is use what little control I have to make things as pleasant as possible for people and try to be as nice as I can about it when I can't fulfill a request.

The other night a man literally started yelling at me because I couldn't guaruntee a certain table for him for Valentine's Day.  There weren't any managers around that I could have him talk to, and he just WOULDN'T STOP.  It takes a lot to fluster me; I've delt with a lot of jerks, but I almost cried he was so mean, like up in my space yelling at me.  We just went around and around, it was so frustrating!  I don't make up the rules!  I even said that (in a more polite way) in an effort to level with him, but no dice.  Aggh, I just wanted to run into the bathroom to get away from him!

←

A customer has no right to yell at you, or to be rude and in your face. You certainly could have excused yourself and gone to the bathroom until he left. If you were polite in your explanation, and it sounds like you were, you did the right thing. He was clearly in the wrong, and you didn't have to take that.

When I'm in a restaurant, or store, and hear somebody being abusive to an employee, I always butt-in and tell the offensive person that he's being rude and is out of line. I don't want to hear it either. I've done that more than three or four times in my life.

Edited January 9, 2007 by markk (log)

[phlox]

  If there's a compelling issue that can be explained in advance then by all means explain that to the hostess when making the reservation, e.g. "I have a soft cast on my foot from an injury and would prefer a corner booth that would allow me to keep my leg out of harm's way", or whatever. 

←

I LOVE IT when people do this. I hate it when there is fumbling or awkwardness right when people arrive; it puts a damper on their experience, and I hate handing off annoyed people to the server and leaving it to them to calm them down! I will seriously coordinate with another hostess/manager/person hanging around at the door to make sure that we don't both ask to take your coats at the same time. Things are that choreographed.

I am also a little obsessive about making sure there are no smudges on the glass doors. It bugs me so much, argh! (OK, so maybe I am just a little obsessive in general...)

[K8memphis]

The other night a man literally started yelling at me because I couldn't guaruntee a certain table for him for Valentine's Day.  There weren't any managers around that I could have him talk to, and he just WOULDN'T STOP.  It takes a lot to fluster me; I've delt with a lot of jerks, but I almost cried he was so mean, like up in my space yelling at me.  We just went around and around, it was so frustrating!  I don't make up the rules!  I even said that (in a more polite way) in an effort to level with him, but no dice.  Aggh, I just wanted to run into the bathroom to get away from him!

←

Hope there's no next time but if there is another out of control situation, promise me you will go the bathroom. Just say, excuse me I'm going to be sick. You are not being paid to be abused.

Answers to Idiots 101:

"I answered that question already." smile slightly and repeat as necessary

"It's not ok to speak to me like that."

"Is there anything else I can do for you?"

(on the phone after using all of the above) "I am closing this conversation now. Good bye."

Practice these sentences and drop your voice down an octave on the end of the sentence. They really work.

Whether you are calm or agitated those sentences are the heat that will cook their goose. Don't be afraid to baste often, idiots are a little deaf, ie, repeat them over and over as needed, then close the conversation by leaving your station and finding help or respectfully hanging up the phone ^^^ described above. A tiny little ghost of a smile on your face or voice will really help back them off. They are effing bullies who relish in finding a soft spot.

So he'll be there on Valentine's huh???

Let's get him a table with some food!! dot dot dot

[Carrot Top]

Yeah. He sounds like the kind of guy that *needs* the best table in the house on Valentines Day. Perhaps the best table will make him lovable.

I would have just pulled out any handy prescription bottle around (even if I had to snag the manager to do so - managers always have some sort of prescription bottle on them, don't they?) and said with a deep concerned frown, "Please, sir. Take one of these till I can call the ER for you."

[Busboy]

That's the problem.

Well, it's their problem then. When my customers ask for something, no matter how much it's going to inconvenience me, and no matter how much it's going to disrupt the planned workflow that I've mapped out for the day or the week, I automatically answer, "your wish is my command" - I really do.

If I've asked to be moved to the only table left in the whole place, and it's a four top, and the one that they've seated me at is a two top that happens not to be satisfactory to me for some reason, they will tell me: "I'm so sorry, but that table is reserved for a party of four that's coming in a few minutes", and I'll just have to accept that....

And so, if I ask for a different table in a restaurant, and it means that one waiter has an extra table for a few minutes while another waiter has one less table, I expect them to do what all professional restaurants do - move me gladly and graciously, and deal with it as just another part of doing business.

←

I think you're missing a point. No one -- not me, anyway -- is arguing that the restaurant's convenience is paramount. Rather, it is that, often, special requests inconvenience other diners. The reason one doesn't make an (unnecessary) fuss, or behave imperiously or arbitrarily, is that you may be making life worse for others who have as much desire and as much right to a good meal as you do, in ways that have been detailed at length.

[Nathan]

"Well, it's their problem then. When my customers ask for something, no matter how much it's going to inconvenience me, and no matter how much it's going to disrupt the planned workflow that I've mapped out for the day or the week, I automatically answer, "your wish is my command" - I really do."

Bullshit. Not when it inconveniences one of your best customers even more.

You know, considering your attitude towards Bryanz wanting a simple glass of wine at a good restaurant, I find your sense of entitlement astounding. But, you're right, if I'm eating at Old Country Buffet too and want to switch tables they should be able to accomodate that.

In real life, at a good NY restaurant, there are no true empty tables. they're all spoken for, even if they appear empty. its all choreographed. if there's a specific reason why you need to be switched...say it, the restaurant will do what it can. but unfortunately, most B&T weekend customers in NY (and non B&T for that matter) who ask for their table to be switched are doing it solely as a power play.

And, every time a table is switched, it does inconvenience other diners (in the type of restaurant that I'm talking about)....

[Pan]

Here's the other rub, though - your hostess, server, busboy, etc., are working not only to please customers, but to not piss off their bosses so they can keep their jobs and pay the light bill.  If another party is supposed to go to a certain table, I might not be able to seat you there because my boss, the general manager, has done the seating plot for the night and wants to have it that way, for whatever reason.  On a Friday or Saturday night, I often have close to zero wiggle room and no room for walk-ins at all.  It stinks because often I am not the person making decisions, but I have to be the bearer of bad news.  Sometimes, that's just the way it is, and sometimes you are not the most important person there.  I can't really help that - it's not my restaurant, I just work there - all I can do is use what little control I have to make things as pleasant as possible for people and try to be as nice as I can about it when I can't fulfill a request.

The other night a man literally started yelling at me because I couldn't guaruntee a certain table for him for Valentine's Day.  There weren't any managers around that I could have him talk to, and he just WOULDN'T STOP.  It takes a lot to fluster me; I've delt with a lot of jerks, but I almost cried he was so mean, like up in my space yelling at me.  We just went around and around, it was so frustrating!  I don't make up the rules!  I even said that (in a more polite way) in an effort to level with him, but no dice.  Aggh, I just wanted to run into the bathroom to get away from him!

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My initial reaction on reading this is that you should have thrown him out of the restaurant. Which is why I don't share your line of work.

[hjshorter]

You know, considering your attitude towards Bryanz wanting a simple glass of wine at a good restaurant, I find your sense of entitlement astounding.

Quite a few people thought that markk wasn't the one with a sense of entitlement.

if there's a specific reason why you need to be switched...say it, the restaurant will do what it can.  but unfortunately, most B&T weekend customers in NY (and non B&T for that matter) who ask for their table to be switched are doing it solely as a power play.

Can you give some evidence of that?